Wednesday, November 30, 2005

It's nothing personal, it's just business

Why can't we just be friends? I'm willing to let it go and move on with life. But you, you hold it in your heart. How are we possibly going to work together when you have such a warped attitude? You're so missing the point here. Talk about being immature. Well, if you're out to spite me, congratulations, you're doing a great job. But for goodness sake, pls don't get the others involved. Stop creating bad blood. Stop playing the numbers game. You've done enough damage.

Because of you, we have to mess up. Because of your immovable huge ego, the world will have to go down with you.

But I'm not going to let that happen. God is for me and nothing can be against me. So get behind me, satan.

Posted by Jo at 2:38 PM

Monday, November 28, 2005

Curse of the gap

I don't know what's wrong with me these days. Can't quite seem to control the stuff that's coming out of this mouth of mine. Suddenly, the phrase "think before you talk" seems like an impossible challenge. Sometimes, I get so excited and start rambling off like a crazy woman. Sorta feels like I'm carrying a machine gun and shooting everyone I see. It's only after I shut up that I realise the extent of the damage I've done.

So to those of you whom I've hurt verbally, well, firstly, you're not alone. And secondly, I'm very sorry. The connection is loose somewhere. I promise I'll fix it soon.

Posted by Jo at 5:37 PM

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

It's beginning to look a lot like...

CHRISTMAS!

Well, I figured since the season's around the corner, I could try getting everyone into the mood...What are you waiting for? Go hang the stockings and stuff the turkey!

Here's a compilation of the wackiest, weirdiest and, incidentally, most memorable of my presents. If your presents are listed, I guess you should be honoured. No? In no particular order of merit...

1) A little tub of yellow Play Doh from Kelvyn Owen Vernon Richard
Erhm...Play Doh's not exactly my favourite playtime prop and as much as I wanted to keep it, it turned mouldy after a year. Eeks...

2) A pebble (-_-)
Well, due credit does go to Ian Kok for personalising it with his scribbly Christmas message. It was supposed to be a paperweight or something...

3) A bottle of cucumber shower foam
Firstly, it kinda smells funny. Secondly, it's from Mark. Thirdly, I didn't know you could make shower foam out of freakin' cucumbers!

4) A strawberry coin purse
Maria, Maria. With her 'unique' eye for fashion, she tried to brainwash me into becoming like her. *Oomph* Thank God for will-power.

5) A white foldable chair from IKEA
No prizes for guessing who gave this to me! Maria never fails to surprise me with her...erhm...big surprises...The look on my face that fateful night must have been priceless. How the heck was I going to carry that thing home?!?

Tis the season to be jolly =)

Posted by Jo at 10:06 AM

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Eat some humble pie

One weekend. Too many mistakes.

It is such a hard and painful lesson to learn. All the what-ifs and I-should-haves...I hate screwing up so badly. I still think it's great, but why do I feel sick in my guts? It's so unlike me to do that. I've let everyone down. I've let myself down. Failure is a disgusting son of a gun. Admittance suddenly seems like the least of my shitholes. I don't even know how to rectify the problem. What the heck, I don't even know what's the problem!

Here I am, always telling others how to do things, and me, I can't even do it well. Oh man, this is super demoralising. I can so picture people pointing fingers at me, saying "I told you so"..."You're no better than me"..."Are you sure you know what you're doing?"...Go on, take my face and rub it in the mud.

I really thought we had something going on - You and me. I guessed I listened to the wrong voice. Why can't you speak LOUDER? Ggrrhh...I don't quite care anymore. It's Your problem. You better fix it for me.

Posted by Jo at 11:37 AM

Monday, November 21, 2005

Missing pieces

All right...Enough of my philosophies of life and never-ending ambiguous musings...That's what happens when you get PMS. You get all jittery and start thinking about everything under the stars. It's tough being a woman sometimes =)

Here are the missing pieces of my life...

SIM Uni
Well, I received my acceptance letter last week and replied to confirm my place in the course. My class will commence in January 2006. Feeling kinda excited and yet worried at the same time. I hope I can cope with it.

Driving test
Screwed up my vertical parking and didn't do the safety checks. Got a grumpy old tester called Heng Ah Meng...With a name like that, I'm not surprised I failed. Ggrrhh...

Conjunctivitis
Was on a two-day MC last week because my right eye was plagued with bacteria. Nevertheless, I managed to play a game of mahjong with Hil and my bro. Heh.

CC1 camp
I hate the late nights, dusty matresses and short bathe times, but having said that, I truly enjoyed the company of the Sec 1 youths, who amazingly, turned out to be an energetic and lovable bunch.

D&D
Just attended my company's D&D last Friday night. The theme was "Viva Las Vegas" (casino & stuff). Unfortunately, I didn't quite enjoy myself because the programme sucked big time and I didn't win any lucky draw prizes. -_-

Funfair
It's a really nice way to celebrate our church's feastday. And I, for the first time, got dunked. Oh man...

Okie, that's about it for now. Cheerios.

Posted by Jo at 3:50 PM

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Where is the love?

Such a commonly used word, yet often distorted and misunderstood. Does it really make the world go round? Is it really all you need? Have YOU ever been in love?

I was attending a wedding last Saturday and I finally understood what it all meant. The moment she walked through down that aisle, the moment their eyes met, the moment they exchanged their vows. It didn't matter anymore if the gown was perfect, or if the choir was singing in tune, or if the aircon was switched off. They were practically living and breathing love off each other. A simple act of commitment with such profound effects.

As I sat there watching them, it all came together. A temporary closure to my never-ending dialogue with God. (My annoyance must have pissed him off.) I guess it just never occurred to me how perfect love can be. That it is actually humanly possible to love another to the extent that God loves. To the extent that others around you can feel His love. That, is the extent, of the power of His love.

I am struggling to put my feelings into words and I wish I could do a better job sharing it with you. What happened to me that fateful Saturday was not merely a passing thought. It was a lesson of love and of how much He really did love...me.

I feel like the luckiest woman in the world, and yes, love is all you need.

Posted by Jo at 5:38 PM

Friday, November 04, 2005

November rain

Waking up to a wet and cold morning leaves more than the shivers. After snoozing my alarm for half an hour, I finally dragged myself out of bed and made my way to work. The sound of rain beating down on my brolly, the little splatters of raindrops on my feet and the biting chill of the weather brings a dampened spirit, a lost desire...a familiar emptiness.

But the rain is not to blame. It's just another scapegoat.

Where has it all gone? The confidence, the optimism, the undying spirit. It seems to have grown legs and ran away. All that's left is a bag of frustrations, vanished luck and hopelessness.

I need my God so badly.