Wednesday, April 21, 2004
I feel weird...
It's irony how bright and colourful my blog is, when deep inside me, all seems bleak. Perhaps it's a frantic attempt to make myself feel better. Or perhaps I'm simply trying to cover up all the weird feelings inside of me.
I feel like Peter. Taking that bold step out of the boat, to walk on water. And suddenly, when the wind blows, I lose my faith in the Man. The Man whom I have dedicated so much of my time to. The Man whom I claim to love and trust. The Man who, time and time again, had showed me how real He is in my life.
Sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite. Maybe things are moving so fast that I can't adapt. Maybe I'm so comfortable with the things I'm doing that I forget why I'm doing it. Whatever it is, coming to a realization of how fake I may have been makes me feel weird.
Weird - That's the exact word to describe how I'm feeling, because even though I'm so lost and demoralised and tired, I can't bring myself to give up on Him. Not now, not ever. It's a love-hate relationship. I love Him so much, yet I hate what I have to go through, for Him.
Lord, pls show me the light at the end of this tunnel...soon.
Posted by Jo at 6:12 PM
Monday, April 19, 2004
Happy 5th Anniversary!
Dear Hil, thank you for sharing the past 5 years of your life with me. Thank you for all the great memories that we've built together. It may not have been a smooth journey, but I'm glad we made it this far. I look forward to the days ahead, that it'll continue to be filled with joy and laughter. I guess I'd better stop here, before everyone starts puking...Love you lots!
Posted by Jo at 9:23 PM
Saturday, April 10, 2004
The Passion of the Christ...
The overly talked about film - "The Passion of the Christ" has indeed proven to me why it's such a big fuss. I saw the movie yesterday, which happens to be Good Friday, and I couldn't stop thinking about it since then.
The images still remained vividly in my mind. As I put myself in Jesus' shoes, I shattered at the thought of having to go through what He did - The sourging, the spitting, the insults. If I had His powers as God, I would have simply given up and just come down from the cross. Actually, I don't think I would have even endured till then. I'd probably want to stop the torture from the time the first whip hits my back. Also, not only do I have to go through the physical pain, I had to endure all the insults that were slapped on me, having to keep quiet as people crucify me for blasphemy, just because I am stating the fact that I am the Son of God.
After watching the film, I'll never look at the crucifix the same way again...
Posted by Jo at 2:35 PM
