Sunday, February 22, 2004
* ABC *
Have you ever experienced so much of frustration at someone that you simply just scream and shout at this person each time you talk? Sigh...This constantly happens to me whenever I communicate with a certain somebody in my life. Hmmm...Let's call this person 'ABC' for now.
Well, it's not that ABC is purposely trying to irritate me or piss me off. It's just my natural reaction to this person. Ironically, this person is someone dear to my heart. And I really hate being the monster that I am. Each time, I'll tell myself to be nice...and each time, I'll screw up. I feel like a hypocrite. I love this person, but yet, I hate this person...
Many people are not as privileged to have someone like ABC but here I am, taking this person for granted. Lord, *sigh*...pls hear my prayers tonight...
"Lord I will bow to You, to no other god, but to You alone. Lord I will worship You, nothing hands have made, but to You alone.
I will lay down my idols, thrones I have made, all that has taken my heart...
Lord I will bow to You, to no other god, but to You alone. Lord I will worship You, nothing hands have made, but to You alone."
Amen.
Posted by Jo at 10:58 PM
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Visit to the ward
Today, a journalist from SPH came to do an interview with a volunteer who cuts the hair of the patients at IMH. And for the first time since I started work, I had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the wards where the patients are staying at. Naturally, I was really nervous, not knowing what to expect or how to react.
Well, the wards are very hospital-like...with rows of beds. Only difference is, the windows are all fitted with strong iron grills and the doors leading to the wards are always locked. As I walked towards the ward, I could see many of the patients looking at me through the glass panels on the door. Ha...you can imagine how uneasy I felt and how closely I followed my colleague.
I didn't get to enter the ward because the interview took place in a separate room. So two by two, the patients would be ushered in for their haircut. The wards are separated into females and males, and we were at the female ward.
And as I sat there observing, my fear slowly became sadness. Seeing how these people have so little idea of what's going on around them. Although they were adults, they acted like little kids. My heart really goes out to them...Hmmm...It's quite difficult to put my feelings and thoughts into words right now. I was really feel with an overwhelming mixture of reactions. Perhaps once I get my thoughts sorted out, I'll post them online again.
But for now, I just want to say that I'm grateful to be given this experience today. This will not be the last time that I'm going to the wards. In fact, I'll be visiting again next week as I do my orientation tour. And ya...wow...I'm truly learning and experiencing so much more than I've imagined. It's amazing how God works...
Posted by Jo at 6:23 PM
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
First days at work...
It has been five days since I first started work at IMH and I want to thank God for blessing me with super-nice colleagues and an ideal working environment. Honestly, I did not expect everything to fall into place so perfectly. Since day one, my colleagues have been very friendly and down-to-earth. My boss is kinda slack...which is good, I guess. Ha...My working hours are very stable...seldom will I have to stay back for overtime or weekend work. Generally, the whole environment at IMH, ironically, is very serene. The pace of work isn't overly hectic and tedious. I guess because the company knows that stress can drive one up the wall...
So far, I'm enjoying it greatly. From getting my own desk to having my own phone line...I'm slowing adapting to working life. (Which has been something that I've dreaded before.)
Anyway, I'm in the process of designing a corporate folder for IMH. So far, my boss likes my design. *phew* Oh ya, today, Diana Ser was at IMH. No, she's not deranged. She came to interview one of the doctors for the CNA show called Get Real. I had to hang around during the whole shoot to ensure that the cameraman doesn't film any of the IMH patients. Hee...Do you know that she's shorter than me?...yah, except that she was wearing really high heels today, so she looked a little taller than me.
Hmmm...Ok, got to go. Sorry for not updating my blog for so long. It'll probably stay this way...since I'll be busy at work and will be having meetings in church in the evenings. Yeap...
Posted by Jo at 7:43 PM
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Perfect plan
A lot has changed in a week. I've been offered a job, but it's not from CLEO. I went for an interview at IMH (Institute of Mental Health) for the position of Corporate Communications officer last Thursday. The job would require me to update their website, write for the newsletters and do some PR stuff.
The next day, they called to offer me the job.
In my mind, I was relieved and excited that I've got this job. At the same time, I was confused and lost because I really wanted to work at CLEO. So, I told the lady from IMH that I'd give an answer on Monday, 10am.
Today is only Saturday and I've already gotten my answer. I'm so certain of my decision that I can sit in front of my computer now and tell you this testimony, even though I have more time to think it through.
Yesterday night, I prayed that God would show me the way. I prayed for signs that had to be so obvious that I can't be wrong about my decision. And today, He has showed me so many times that this job at IMH is the right one.
The first sign from God came through a friend. This person has loads of experience in the working world and it just felt very reassuring for my friend to say good things about the job because this friend is usually very critical and difficult to please. Then later, when I was attending mass, the readings felt like it was especially picked for me...About letting go of ourselves and letting God take control. About taking the plunge into the deep and trusting Him. And one of the 'final' signs from God was through a song during mass. We were singing 'Be not afraid' and the words were practically screaming out to me...so much that I almost couldn't hold back my tears. Yeap...
And lastly, I know that this job is the right one because in my heart, I feel at ease...that although it may not be my ideal job, although I know that people are going to make lots and lots of jokes out of it...At the end of the day, I still feel the peace in my heart, a quiet knowing that everything is going according to God's plan.
Posted by Jo at 10:54 PM
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Maranatha retreat
The Maranatha retreat took place over the weekend and I'm glad it did. It was a great time for us as we got to know each other better. But the best thing that happened to me was the affirmation that I received from God, through my friends. On the second day of the retreat, I felt a little demoralised because it seemed like everything that was going wrong was my fault. The feeling really sucks. Although I admit to being partially in the wrong, I suddenly felt like all the good that I've done is pointless...Like why am I trying so hard to make things right when I am always the first to be blamed whenever something bad happens?
And as I just trying to hide my disappointment and sadness, God took me and reassured me almost instantly - through my friends, who affirmed me of the work that I'm doing for God, telling me how I'm doing a good job so far. Glory and fame has never been something that I seek, at least not in my conscious mind. And as the affirmations came, tears were collecting in my eyes because it became so real that God was holding me and reassuring me that He is pleased with whatever I'm doing.
Thank you Lord for this experience of Your generosity and love, which You have made so real to me time and again. Thank You for giving me renewed strength to do Your work. Thank You for reminding me of how much You love me. Amen.
Posted by Jo at 11:47 AM
