Tuesday, December 30, 2003
This one's for Ben...
The YC office bearers were invited for RCIY's 10th anniversary party last Sunday. Due to some commitments, James couldn't make it. And the night before the anniversary, Ben came up to me and told me that he may not be able to attend the event because of his family commitments. Without stopping for a second to think, I opened my mouth and started whining and trying to persuade him to attend the event.
On the actual day of the party, Ben called me in the afternoon. He said that he was sick. And once again, without thinking, I told him to just come for the party. And so he came...with a fever, sore throat and slight flu.
The next day, 29 Dec, I was down with a fever and sore throat. I knew that Ben had passed the bug to me because I was perfectly fine until I met him last evening. Being in the D&D committee, this was the worst time to be sick. I had the programme booklet to complete, a decor team to look after and a hotel to liaise with. So the whole day, I was stuck in bed, with hardly any energy to even walk to the kitchen.
And as I laid in bed, I felt so bad. I knew I deserved to be sick because I was being so insensitive towards Ben. So Ben, I'm really sorry for being such an a**. I promise to be a better friend.
But despite the horrible time, I'm glad that God has taught me empathy - The ability to put myself in someone else's shoe. A trait that I would need to possess as a leader.
Posted by Jo at 12:12 PM
Friday, December 26, 2003
My Christmas surprise!
Months ago, I made a decision to sell my guitar. For those who have seen it before, you'll know that it is a blue, nylon-strung, scratched and seasoned piece of music-making device. Although he was about four years old, I was pleasantly surprised that many were interested in making an offer for him.
After a couple of negotiations, I decided to sell my guitar to Jeremy, who was going to give it to Joanna as a Christmas present. But as the day drew nearer for me to part with my guitar, I was tempted to change my mind, to 'screw' the deal and keep my precious guitar to myself.
But being the nice person that I am...(ok, start puking)...I eventually handed it over to Jeremy, on Christmas Eve. And never in my wildest imagination could I guess that parting with my beloved guitar would be such a tough moment. In all desperation, I asked Jeremy for the last time if he really wanted to buy the guitar. And he said yes.
I was crushed. My heart sank. It felt as though I just lost someone very dear to me. But, a deal is a deal...So I collected the money and gave my guitar to him. The only consolation I can get is the fact that I will still be seeing him often enough.
So the day passed...Many of us were over at Elvin and Michelle's place after the Christmas mass. The usual programme - Playing mahjong, 'suru' and just slacking around, enjoying each other's company. When it was time to go home in the morning, Hil sent me home in his parent's car. And as I was unloading my bags from the car boot, he suddenly pulled out a very big triangular box and said that it was my Christmas present. Initially, (because I was very sleepy), I thought it was a Christmas tree! So after a few seconds, I finally realised that he bought me a new guitar...
As soon as I reached home, I opened the box to find a black, nylon-strung, glossy, (and scratch-less) guitar! I named him "Jay"...after all the drama between Joanna, Jeremy and Joann (me!). Ha...
So this is the story of my favourite Christmas present.
To end off, I just want to thank God for the gift of Hilary. Hil has been my pillar of strength and support, never failing to put a smile on my face. And thank you dear, for the new guitar. You're the best!
Posted by Jo at 10:24 PM
Monday, December 22, 2003
Walking on water
This past month has been a blast...Undoubtedly one of the greatest months in my twenty years on planet Earth. Before I dive into sharing with you my experiences, let me provide some background information.
I graduated in June with a Diploma in Mass Communication. Following that, I went to work at Eric's office, doing temporary admin duties. And with what I believe to be Divine intervention, I stopped work after two months. This is where the story begins because the following three months turned out to be a very trying period for me.
Many have urged me to start looking for a new and permanent job, but a little voice within me told me otherwise. Deep inside, this little voice told me that it's not time yet. So, that's what I did. I decided to venture into the unknown, to listen to the voice in my heart. It wasn't easy. No one said it would be. Time after time, people would come along and say it was a bad choice - That I should start looking for a job. I didn't blame them for showing concern. After all, they're the ones with "experience". It came to a point where I felt confused and lost, thinking if I really did make the wrong decision.
But with God's guidance, I managed to hold on, to stick to my decision, to continue trusting Him...even though my whole world seemed to be crashing down on me. By the time I got to the Youth Camp (which took place one week ago)...I was super drained, terribly confused and utterly disappointed with God.
And at this low point of my life, He came.
During the first night of the camp, Eric was telling us that miracles would happen if we let God take charge. (I'm trying to recall what else he said but I can't remember now!). Anyway, while he was speaking, I could feel God's presence so strongly that I almost burst into tears because it felt as though God was speaking to me through Eric, as if the message was solely for me. And that became the turning point of my attitude during the camp. And like they say, the rest is history...
One time, during one of the sessions, He suddenly made me realised the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing...serving Him. The sight of youths praising God so sincerely and openly really renewed my strength in doing His work. The next day, while praying with the rest of the facilitators, God's spirit just filled me so intensely that tears just rolled from my eyes. And the most tangible experience of God came while I was doing a session. I felt something sweep past me, at my back, but when I turned around, there was no one there. And this just reaffirms the fact that God is around and He is truly real. On the last day, while doing a P&W session, I could hear the angels singing along with us. I can still remember their voices, majestic and perfect.
This camp made me realised that God IS worth my time. He has been so generous in blessing me, letting me experience His love and His presence. It was as though He brought me through a dark tunnel and finally showed me the light at the end. It was not until recently that I realised that He has provided me with enough money to last these months and that He has provided me with enough work to do so I won't get bored...
And now, although I'm still jobless, I know I'm walking the right path. I know that He will provide me with the ideal job. It's something that I can't explain to you. This sense of trust. This feeling of walking on water. Something so supernatural, yet tangibly real. All I can say is that Jesus truly is worth it. Really
Posted by Jo at 10:33 AM
Monday, December 08, 2003
Evil has a name
Do you know of someone who is truly evil? Someone whom you think is actually capable of causing pain and suffering to the people around without feeling sorry. Someone who exudes a sense of wickedness.
Can't relate to what I'm talking about? Think of your enemies. The ones who annoy and irritate you, and cause you to be the worst person that you can be. The very people you dread to see in school, at work or even in church. These are the people who make you look bad.
Can someone be truly 100% evil? I think not, although it is always a temptation to think otherwise. I mean, what would the world be like if everyone's an angel right? Someone has to play the baddie. But today, I realise and believe that even in the most evil person, there is always a pinch of goodness.
Instead of focusing on the wickedness of our enemies, perhaps it's time we thought about why that person would behave in such a manner.
"Dear Lord, bless my enemies. The very people who cause me to sin. Take away the hurt and hatred within me and give me the strength to love and help them. Amen"
Posted by Jo at 8:55 PM
