back in control

yeah, two down, more to go. im starting to see sunshine little by little. the feeling's great and i might as well enjoy it while i can. this is very very impressive. im proud of myself. wahahaha. i have to say, im a promising tactics and strategy planner. (shit, boastful statement). now gotta focus on my next victim; the very much threatening woman (short term) - my dentist. how the hell am i going to face her, i have know idea. it's time for my alter ego (the wise one) to take charge and come up with a brill tactic to 'tumpaskan musuh tersebut'. she has no right whatsoever to say what i should do with my teeth. motto for this quest : my teeth,my money,my call.

equation on (pathetic) real life issues

equation on (pathetic) real life issues
hypothesis : (A + B = 1) (C + D = 1)
A <---> B C <---> D
A <---> D C x---> B
B ---> C
conclusion : A = 2, B = 1, C = 2, D = 2. B = foul.

there's gotta be something in everything

there's an end to everything that starts,
there's a solution to every problem,
there's a silver lining to every cloud,
there's a remedy to every wound,
there's a cure to every disease,
there's love in every heart,
there's a child in everyone,
there's a key to every door,
there's a road to every destination,
there's hope in every failure,
there's hardwork to every success,
there's sacrifice in every happiness,
there's a past beneath the present.
there's always something to something.
there can't be nothing to anything.
there's got to be something in everything.

there's gotta be something in everything

there's an end to everything that starts,
there's a solution to every problem,
there's a silver lining to every cloud,
there's a remedy to every wound,
there's a cure to every disease,
there's love in every heart,
there's a child in everyone,
there's a key to every door,
there's a road to every destination,
there's hope in every failure,
there's hardwork to every success,
there's sacrifice in every happiness,
there's a past beneath the present.
there's always something to something.
there can't be nothing to anything.
there's got to be something in everything.

nothing but a failure

sometimes, you just feel like disappearing. wish there is a hole somewhere which you can jump in and stay down there forever. or a magic closet that you can walk in to and transmit to another world where nobody would recognize you. it isn't about feeling embarrassed or anything of that sort. it's about feeling like a failure. like when you look at yourself straight in the eyes across the mirror, you see no hope, no vision, no optimism. you only see nothing. you wish you could smear and blotch the image in the mirror with a red lipstick. or even batter and punch so it would break down to tiny little pieces. then you walk on the sharp bits of the mirror on the floor until your feet bleed horribly. and you watch the dark blood stain on the tiles fade away into the pipe fissure as water runs. you might feel a twinge of satisfaction, but you realize that nothing would change. you'll get nothing except for rotten feet. the rest of the world is still the same. you walk out the doorstep of your house and a neighbour smiled, but you look away in return. your mom cooked you your favourite prawn fritters dish, but you can't as much as taste the plain water. a friend invited you to a party but you don't even feel like leaving your hard-pillowed bed. you have the notion that everything's in their customary routine but you don't seem like you're in the entire motion. you're just lost. lost in your own feelings of disappointment and letdown. every night when you lie in bed, you feel like a malfunctioned unit. a person without a purpose. an individual that is useless, worthless and futile. but just before you shut your eyes, you cry a prayer. you pray for all the strength in the world, and so that God would show you the way. give you hope to start anew tomorrow. and put a force to every single muscle in your body to not just walk, but to step forward and move ahead. and most importantly, you pray for the verve and dynamism to mend your faults. patch-up all your blunders and fix the errors you've made. then you go to sleep serenely, hoping to wake up to a brand-new life.