Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life

Book Review - Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life
by Eugene O'Kelly

Author: Chairman & CEO of US KPMG from Apr 2002 to Jun 2005, diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and left with 3 - 6 months to live. This book accounts his final journey.

If you've only 3 more months to live, how to wrap up your life?
1) Accept the fact and move on - got to make decisions quickly!

2) Identify immediate tasks i.e. carry out handing over work on hand, arrange for medical treatment

3) Set legal and financial affairs in order

4) 'Unwind' relationships to say goodbye
- Start with least significant relationships
a) people who have shared their passion and experiences with you
b) close business associates (colleagues)
c) life time friends
d) immediate friends
e) immediate family members
f) children
g) spouse
- Take it as an opportunity to conjure the pleasant memories, express appreciation and gratitude

5) Simplify
- Every calculated step to be filled with truth of purpose
- Meditate

6) Live in the moment: be fully conscious of surroundings & appreciate it

7) Create great / perfect moments
- Little gift of the moment, focus on something pleasant

8) Begin transition to next state beyond life
- Be brave to embrace what is happening
- Stay peaceful and not agitated. No fear. No pain
- The position best for leaving the body is to be connected with water. Legs raised 20 degrees, head raised 40 degrees. (Tibetan monks believe tahat when you die, you should be sitting up as consciousness exits the body at the highest point, and if it leaves from your head, you will be most conscious; enabling greater influence over reincarnation)
- Have the right mind (mental discipline) or body (soul) to die consciously

9) Plan funeral

- Medical treatment in the late afternoon seems to be beneficial as you would have energy for a good part of the earlier day
- Understand things don't always go according to plan
- Stay optimistic and forward looking


Other useful quotes
> 'Change your thoughts and you change your world'
> Anger dissipate oneself. Double the energy spent being angry and channel it to love
> Fulfill dreams and expectations

What people really value in their life?
1) Family
2) Do work that was enjoyable
3) Live a life away from work
4) To be around smart, upbeat colleagues in a team environment
5) To have an opportunity to mentor others

Revive!

After close to 3 years, I've decided to revive my blog to log down memories of my unforgettable personal experiences as well as quotes or reviews from good books I've read!

FISH! for life

Fish! for Life: A Remarkable Way to Achieve Your Dreams

Stephen C Lundin, John Christensen and Harry Paul



4 Main Ingredients of FISH! Philosophy

1) Play: Carry a light heart with you wherever you go

- How might I be an instrument of lightheartedness?
- Do I have a smile in my heart that is heard in my voice?
- Do I explore all the ways I could bring fun to a task that is not usually fun?
- Do we value fun?
- Do we have fun as friends?
- How do we respond to someone who is always serious?
- Are we able to avoid getting too serious about things that really don't deserve that kind of energy?
- Do we know how to take something seriously while at the same time not taking ourselves too seriously?
- Are we using levity as a way of avoiding real conversations?
- Do we sse the natural joy in life?


2) Make Their Day: Sometimes you can make someone's day simply by the way you engage them

- Whose day will I make today?
- When did someone else last make my day?
- How might the way I live my life be a source of inspiration for others?
- If my life could teach, what would the 1st lesson be?
- What memories did I reate for my children today?
- How will I make someone's day brighter today?
- Who goes unnoticed in my world?
- Is there a way to bring special attention to those who toil in the background of my life?
- What am I doing to make the world a better place?
- What do my children & grandchildren remember about their time with me?
- How might I live my life today so as to be an inspiration to others?
- Have I treated myself to the good feelings generated by serving another?
- Am I open to having someone make my day?


3) Be There: Amazing things happen when you learn how to be where you actually are. Bringing consciousness, body & spirit into the same space is a gift to yourself & to the world

- Where am I right now? Where is my attention? What are the currents wandering through my mind?
- Are my mind and body in the same place?
- Who do I want my attention?
- What is the impact of my 'be there' decision?
- Am I 1 piece at a time, doing 1 thing at a time or do I try to do many things at once?
- Is it true that even if I multitask I can still do only one thing at a time?
- Do people know when my attention is somewhere else?
- What cues can we give one another to promote the now?
- Am I listening to family & friends with the single purpooe of hearing what they have to say?
- Do I give the gift of rapt attention freely?
- Do we have a protocol for dealing with interruptions like the phone during a family meal?
- Have I reminded myself today of how goot it feels to be listened to?



4) Choose Your Attitude: The attitude you've right now is the one you're choosing. Choose as if the quality of your life depends on it, for it actually does, moment-to-moment

- Whare are the attitudes I am choosing right now?
- What attitudes are my favourites?
- What attitudes re most common in my life?
- Do I like those attitudes?
- How do I shift from 1 attttude to another?
- Do I have a system to remind me to do frequent attitude checks?
- Are there quick ways to assume an attitude?
- Do I have a default attitude?
- Do I seperate feelings & attitudes?
- Whare are some ways to get out of an attitude?
- What attitudes in others are fingernails on a blackboard?
- Do any of my current attitudes need to be replaced or will I stay with what I have?
- What attitudes do I want in my life more often?
- What attitudes do I want to avoid?
- Am I aware that feelings can't be controlled & may show up at any time without warning, but that attitudes can be chosen?
- Am I aware that sometimes the choice of an attitude can influence how I feel in the future?



The real conversations required to sustain a relationship are those that get put off for another day. However, they form the seeds of new growth. Commitment comes at the beginning of a great relationship.



Life Partners

1) Someone with whom to share life's little treasures
2) A shoulder to cry on when life overwhelms us & a voice to remind us of the positive futures possible in times of doubt
3) A best friend
4) Someone who knows us, warts & all & still loves us
5) A lover with whom sex is an impt part - but only a part - of intimacy
6) A ready hug

General Discussion Questions

1) What does it mean for us to have a conversation that is real & fierce?
2) Are there subjects we have been avoiding?
3) What is our vision for this family, partnership or friendship?
4) What are we creating with our life together?
5) How can we help each other stay in the present?
6) What attitudes would we like to have present in our life together & what are some ways we can make that happen?
7) Whare are the 7 basic values that sit at the heart of the life we are building?
- Inventory their presence and proportion in your life
- Does their presence & proportion match your sense of appropriate balance? Would you like to see more or less emphasis on any of these values?
- Discuss goals for the next year / 6 mths / day
- Review

It's Convocation !

Happy Graduation and Congratulations!! I'm so sad and it contradicts the earlier statement. Everyone is so happy to graduate.

Full of emotions when I graduate today as 4 years of university life passed in just a twilight. Want to hug my parents and thank them for bringing me up and supporting me all these years. I think I will miss life as a student with all the freedom and no worries, friends as well as the campus. How how how? Only if I get to do post graduate studies then I would have another chance for convocation. Should I??

I regretted not taking as many photos become my family photo and some photos with friends or myself were so poorly taken. Neither have I went around the school to take photos :'(

Motivational Code sent by my friend for me!

Winners admire successful people and analyze and apply their strengths to improve themselves.

Intro Summary of Rich Dad Poor Dad

Quite an informative book by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L Lechter

Lesson 1: The rich don't work for money
- When not being paid at work, use imagination to identify an opportunity to make money
- Make money work for us
- Control fear and desire.
- Use emotions to your advantage. Avoid having emotions to do the thinking
- Avoid ignorance as it intensifies fear and desire
- Ignorance sets in when a person stops searching for information & knowledge of one's self

Lesson 2: Why teach financial literacy?
- In life, it's about how much money one can keep
- Intelligence solves problems, not more money
- Assets generate income to cover expenses
- Keep liabilities and expesnses low

9 - 10th Dec : Gusto 2D1N Year End Camp.

1st activity: hiking around Changi. I had a chance to visit the Old Changi Hospital, Johore Battery and Changi Chapel and Museum which were the checkpoints.

2nd to 3rd checkpoint is shorter. I didn't know there's Changi Museum other than the National Museum. As it's a museum, there's history behind it.

We left Changi Museum for the chalet and were greeted by mosquitoes bites.

Opps, they starting bbq fire without starters. All sorts of methods were used: Newspapers burn too easily, cannot be used to set up fire; a few drips of kerosene?? The smell is really unbearable. In the end, charcoal was burnt on stoves. I believe a lot of gas is wasted. Combustion's taking place, producing a lot of carbon dioxide.

The wooden seat was too hard and dawn broke before I could close my eyes. I went for morning walk myself around the chalet site. 早晨空气很清新, 感觉很爽快. Anyway, it's good exercise on a sunny morning.

Shortly after lunch, we break camp as the bus came early to fetch the students. I realised 1 thing: for this year's camps, we didn't had a chance for debrief.

Weekend

Sat, I went for Gusto - 2nd dragonboat session at Kallang. I'm totally paralyzed after the activity. Right hand paralyzed due to badminton, left hand due to dragonboat, both legs due to the almost 20km MacRitchie Tree Top Walk.

Sun, I went for volunteer facilitation training session. We had a personality test. Hey you, do you want to draw out a mouse?
Have you drawn? Guess what I drew?
I drew a mouse from the front view with big ears, a face, body and tail without eyes and legs on the top page of the paper towards the left side. My 1st instinct is to draw something abstract. Karen drew a small Mickey Mouse face on top left hand corner of the page.... (to save paper). Lanhui drew a large Mickey Mouse face at the centre of the page with a body and tail. So cute... There were even volunteers who drew the computer mouse.

Here's the result of the personality test......
One who draws not the literal meaning of mouse, such as computer mouse and Mickey Mouse, are creative. Opps, I'm not. Cos I failed art...
One who draws a mouse on the top page is a dreamer while one who draws it at the bottom of the page is a down to earth person... Alamak, I am a dreamer. SY came by behind me and started laughing!!!! Am I in dreamland? Maybe, cos I want to get at least 2nd upper for my degree. Today, I went to count my grade and found that I just passed only. Gone case... Got to work doubly, triply and quadruply hard for final year!! Will have to miss Gusto when it's a month or so near to exams !!! Sorry everyone.
Next, one who draws the mouse with big ears is a good listener... Oh, the 3 of us - Karen, me and Lanhui are!!!
Anyone who draws the mouse with details such as eyes, legs and tails; is a detailed person which is Lanhui.
Lastly, anyone who draws the mouse in equal proportion is a balanced person.
What about you? Do you think is true??