the babies are here

monday, december 22nd, was the day i was scheduled to check into the hospital to start the induction process to get these little nuggets out.  john and i had to check in at 8:00 pm and thankfully, my family (mom, dad, mark and ethan) surprised me by driving from Nevada the day before so they stayed home with sutton. i was so glad they came-it was great to spend some time with them and also to know that sutton would be showered with love and attention while we were at the hospital. we arrived, checked in and then my nurse, lindsey, led us to our room. she gave us what she said was her favorite room because it was the quietest and it was close to the operating room which is where i would be delivering. i was cool with that. she gave me my gown and told me to change while we waited for the dr to come in to check and see if i was dialated any further than a one. i had been having contractions all day long-they just weren't consistent. we met dr allison and even though she wasn't dr pew, (tear) i instantly felt comfortable with her and knew i was in good hands. she did the dreaded check and guess what? still at a one. ugh. time for the foley cap. if you don't know what it is, look it up. all i can tell you is that it hurt like a mo fo. it may have been in my head but it made my contractions that much more intense. i finally got some pain medicine through my IV and was pretty happy with everything and everybody. i've never loved complete strangers so much. but once they wore off i was calling for lindsey! as she was walking out the door to go get my medicine, i felt a weird pop in my belly. or crotch. not sure which area it came from but it was the weirdest feeling. like a big gas bubble. (you all know you've had them) except i started to leak fluid and it was a lot so i was pretty sure it wasn't pee. lindsey went to get dr allison, who came in and checked me. i was at a whopping two. and the foley cap was still intact which meant that what i felt was my water breaking. she said she would take the foley cap out since it was making my contractions so intense. i give mad props to women who go all natural..i threw in the towel about 3 minutes in. it's ok. i own it. she took out the foley cap and decided to put a monitor on baby girl's head. but when she went to do it, her whole demeanor changed because i was bleeding a ton. then i heard the dreaded words. c-section. i don't really remember what she said before or after, i kind of blacked out when she she said c-section. then the tears came. i was so shocked, this is not what i wanted! i wanted to push them out, have john feed me ice chips in between pushes and have dr pew catch them! but, most important was my baby girls health (her heart rate had been down to a 90 when we checked in but had recovered to 120 and they weren't exactly sure why-now things were starting to make sense) and we had to get them out. so, before i knew it i was being wheeled into the operating room, getting a spinal tap and being laid down on a table that was pretty sure half the width of my entire body. they put a cover over my face so i couldn't see anything...thank goodness. i saw fear/concern in john's eyes as he watched them rip me open (i know, graphic but true) and that was enough for me-i didn't want to know a thing about what was going on down there. i laid down on the table at 11:35 pm and at 11:56 pm baby Tennessee Grace was born followed right after by Maverick Brant. hearing their wild baby kitten cries was the best sound in the world. other than sutton's birth, this was the best singular moment of my life. john and i just looked at each other and cried. words can't express the joy and complete elation that i felt when i heard them. it took about another 30 minutes for them to finish me up and while they were working on me they finally brought the babies over after they were weighed and cleaned up. maverick brant weighed 5 lb 15 oz and tennessee grace was 4 lb 11 oz. they are perfect little angels. after they were finished with me they took me to the recovery area and i got to hold the babies! i was in heaven. we had the most amazing and caring nurses. i'm so thankful for everything they did for us, they truly went above and beyond.
we spent tuesday, wednesday and part of christmas day recovering in the hospital and getting to know our sweet babies. john spent a lot of time going between our room and the snack room. mostly to get me fresh ice but also to get as many mini soda's as he could comfortably sneak past the nurses station without looking like a complete glutton. i'm pretty sure they were on to him. we had a few of our closest friends come and meet the babies in the hospital along with my family. i am so so so happy they decided to come help out and meet the babies as soon as they were born. i love them so much and couldn't ask for better parents. and did i mention that i ate a lot of ice??? :) why is hospital ice so freakin' good??!!
we've been at home for almost two weeks now and are adjusting fairly well. so far tennessee seems to be my easy baby. she never cries and is content to sleep the day away. we basically have to force her to eat but it's paying off because she was up to 4lb 13oz at her first doctors appointment. maverick still was at 5lb 9 oz. he is a mama's boy who is content to nurse and snuggle all day. our favorite time is skin to skin time. they are so cuddly and cozy, it's really hard to get up and get anything accomplished. i'm trying to savor every second of time with them that i can. sutton is being an awesome big sister. she is so gentle with them and is constantly trying to share her toys with them and give them their binky's. it is so sweet to see how much she loves them.
we are so blessed to have been given the opportunity to be the parents of these three beautiful children. we are so in love.

this girl...

my rambling, jarbled (is that even a word?) post about my little girl and why i love her so much.

i never, ever want to forget how life with sutton right now. i'm having a little (ok, a lot) bit of anxiety over the realization that in less than 6 days i will be a mom to three. under the age of three. holy crap balls. i'm trying to savor each and every moment while it's just the three of us. or, just the two of us when john is at work. sutton is literally the coolest person i could ever pick to hang out with. she loves to help me do everything...from taking a bath to bringing me toilet paper. it's amazing when your kid is old enough to go grab you a roll of tp! i've been sending her on so many "errands" these days that i should probably start paying her. i can't help it. growing two babies is tiring. once in awhile she is too busy to help. her favorite saying is, "in a minute." or, if she is trying to prolong the ineveitable like bedtime, or getting out of the bath she says, "just one more minute, k?" she has the cutest little personality and is constantly cracking us up, especially now that she is talking. she is quite the chatterbox.
i never want to forget anything about her personality at this age. she will be 2 years, 8 months on the 22nd. she has started to look "older" the past few months-more like a little girl than a toddler. our day usually starts out with her yelling, "goodmorning!" from her room and i yell it back, and then she says, "i coming!" and i love love to hear the little pitter patter of her feet as she gets out of bed and runs into our room. and yes, we made the transition into a toddler bed exactly one month ago and she has been perfect with it. she never, ever tries to get out of bed, even when she is fighting sleep. she is perfectly content with looking at books or playing with her minnie mouse figurine that grandma bought her. when she goes to bed/nap she has to have certain (and very specific) things in her bed with her. this list includes; minnie mouse, "owl blankie", her biscuit book (a book about a dog) and goodnight ohio book, her "chrispmas" baby doll, about 78 binky's (yes, she still has one at nap and bedtime) and a sippy cup with water. (writing this list makes me realize we might be creating a monster) i am just so happy that she is so obsessed with her bed and thinks it's the coolest thing ever. she always asks for warm milk in the morning and she drinks it in bed with me. john is usually out running when she wakes up between 7:00 and 7:30, sometimes 8:00 if i'm lucky, and we lay in bed and chat about our plans for the day until he comes home. then she likes to hide from him under the covers, all while giggling uncontrollably. i love her laugh. sometimes she will watch a minnie show in the morning but she usually just wants to get right down to playing with her toys. it's pretty amazing how creative she is and i am constantly having to put away my decorations, pillows, kitchen appliances and measuring cups. she still loves playing in her kitchen with her fake food and "making dinner" for us. she is still fascinated with bottles, lids, locks and keys. she also loves her baby dolls and will try to make anything she finds into a "binky" for them....ie, wrappers, string cheese, headbands, etc.  lucky girl is getting a new baby doll with real baby doll binky's for christmas. she is going to flip! she is a good little errand runner, although she refuses to ride in the front of the cart and whenever we go to target she has to ride in that big, dumb cart that no mom can ever successfully drive. but, i love her so i oblige. the other day we ran out of cereal and she said, "mom! need to go target and get more." think we go to target too much? ha! she loves it just as much as i do. maybe the popcorn has something to do with it.
she still takes great naps which i appreciate even more these days, now that i am 89 months pregnant. it's my special time.  it's not uncommon for her to sleep 2.5 to 3 hours and sometimes i even have to wake her up after 3 hours! she loves going to nursery at church and is constantly singing either "sunbeam or jingle bells". she is the ONLY girl in a nursery full of boys and she can totally hold her own. i love watching her confidence and social personality. she has a good sense for people and it's amazing how she is naturally drawn more to some than others. that goes for adults and kids. i think she is getting excited for christmas and will have a better understanding of it this year. we have been doing the elf on the shelf and she loves to run and find "elfie" each morning even though she acts scared of it and doesn't dare touch it. she is obsessed with the pentatonix version of little drummer boy and it isn't enough to just listen, she has to watch the video on youtube. over and over. we've been having a lot of christmas music dance parties these days. onto another exciting new development. we are slowly, but surely making progress on potty training. we did the whole "naked at home" thing for a while and once she got that down, we bought her big girl underwear and she loves to wear them around the house and has only had one accident. well, she did pee in her closet once (hahaha) but that was in the very beginning so it doesn't count. and she did confess right away..."i pee my bedroom, mama". oh nice, thank you very much sutton. she says, "my pee coming!" or, "my poop coming!" and runs to her princess toilet and goes. so, at home, she is 100%. the problem is when we go out...she doesn't like to go in public bathroom (can you blame her?) and part of it is my fault because i do still put a pull-up on her which i'm pretty sure she considers a hall pass to do her business in. if you ask her if she pooped or peed in her pull up this is what you'll get..."stop talking me." "don't say that." "stop looking me." so, needless to say, she knows whats up. if i wasn't so pregnant with twins i would be more proactive about making her wear underwear out in public, having some accidents, and then learning the hard way. there will be a time for that. just not right now. i have to pick my battles these days!
sutton loves her yogurt drinks, cereal (daddy just bought her lucky charms for the first time and she says, "i like this part." any guesses which part she was talking about??), quesadillas (it's not uncommon for her to ask for one for breakfast), any sort of cheese, warm milk, apple juice, hamburgers, french fries, scrambled eggs, avocados, olives and "baby" oranges. those are just a few of her favorite things besides the obvious fruit snacks, suckers from the bank, chocolate...
i can say this over and over, all day long...we are so blessed with her spunky, goofy, charming and happy spirit. she finds joy in everything and has the best disposition. i can't wait to watch her become a big sister. fingers crossed she loves these babies as much as we love her!

{we love} halloween

halloween is way more fun when you have a little nugget! this year was super exciting because sutton was old enough to kind of "get it". due to my current situation, which causes a severe lack of energy, i resorted to our halloween box in the garage to hunt for a costume, which is full of fun accessories that my mom got for sutton last year. sutton chose to be a mouse over a princess or butterfly fairy. this may have had something to do with her complete obsession with minnie and mickey. on halloween night we got her all ready and headed over to our good friends, ashton and jade, house for  some trick or treating around their neighborhood. it started to rain right when we went out. go figure! luckily it didn't last too long and the night turned out to be perfect. i'm not sure who had more fun, john or sutton. we met up with some of our other favorite people and went to a few houses, would skip a few, go to more and so on. well, except for john. he didn't want to skip ANY houses. by the end of the night sutton and i were DONE (she was on a sugar-high induced coma mixed with extreme tiredness...quite the joy) and i headed back to the car but john insisted on taking her to three more houses. he took her candy collecting very seriously and wouldn't quit until they hit up all the houses. on the way home i was making fun of him and he reminded me that he never got to go trick or treating until he was in the ninth grade. THE NINTH GRADE?!! seriously, my mom cut me off in the sixth grade. she said i was too "old". thanks, mom. the neighborhood that john grew up in wasn't exactly the safest so he didn't ever get to go until they moved to the suburbs when he was in high school. so, i guess i can't blame him for his excessive enthusiasm. sutton is a lucky girl to have a daddy who is really a kid at heart! here are some pictures of my little mouse.

she said "no more pictures, mama. i all done."

sutton wasn't the only one who got to have halloween fun. i'm so glad our friend, ashley, threw another epic halloween party this year. she always has a theme and this year it was carnival. so, we decided to go with ashton and jade and dress as sigfried and roy with their two tigers. any chance i get to make john dress ridiculous and wear makeup, i jump on. we had such a fun night! ashley always goes above and beyond, times a million, with all the small details, amazing decorations, food, games and prizes. ah-maaazing. 

{our summer} in a nutshell...

well, technically it is still summer but we've been so busy that i'm kind of ready for fall. shhh, don't tell anyone. i really feel like summer just started and all of a sudden october is staring me in the face. i guess life goes faster when you're having fun, right? or something like that...

sutton and i took a trip to new york back in july to visit all of my family. i had planned this back in april before i knew what was in store for us. more on that later... my mom and brother, ethan, arrived in ny about a week before we headed out. the second day they were there they got a call from the assisted living home that my grandparents live in saying that my grandpa was stuck in his chair, unable to get up at all. and my sweet grandma, who has alzheimers, probably didn't even realize that he had been sitting for hours on end. no pun intended. my mom and her siblings went to check things out and to try to get him out of his chair. fail. my grandpa is not a little guy and the four of them could not even get him up. they had no choice but to call the ambulance, which then took him to the hospital in canandaigua. turns out he had an infected pressure ulcer, pneumonia and his diabetes was out of control. things were not looking good. he was put on three different antibiotics and the doctors told him that he could have to stay on them upwards of three months. three months?! that's a long time to have IV needles in you. they also told him that he wouldn't be able to go home. ever. he would have to live in a nursing home. and the kicker...he wouldn't ever walk again. so basically, he would still be alive but what quality of life would he be living? all of the kids were there and they had a good conversation with grandpa and he decided he didn't want to have to use all of this medicine just to keep him alive. i think he said something to the effect of,  "well, i guess the tribe has voted." and then, just like that, they unhooked all of his machines and took him off of his insulin. he now had free range of all the coke, chocolate and salt-n-vinegar chips his heart desired. the only bummer is that he didn't feel too well so he didn't have much of an appetite. you think that stopped him from eating all the things he had been told for so long he couldn't have? no way. true simpson form. he was kept comfortable in the hospital until they had a room for him down at the VA. i was so thankful that he decided to stick around until sutton and i could arrive. this is what we were greeted with the first day we went to see him and the rest are some pictures of the shenanigans that went on during his short stay in the VA.

you can't tell from this angle but we were greeted by grandpa with chocolate smeared all over his lips. i'm pretty sure he was making out with it. this must be where i get my love of chocolate

aiden, grandpa and heidi ann

incontinence runs in my blood

and they let this guy be a bishop??

we ordered special bananas just for fritz

it seems like it should have been a really, really sad time but surprisingly for me, it wasn't. don't get me wrong, of course I was sad and it was hard to see grandpa not feel good but i can't help but believe he stuck around long enough to bring many of us together. i got to see family i haven't seen in years. i will always cherish those moments i got to spend with my grandpa fart. a few days before he passed i leaned down and whispered how thankful i was that he saved that  LDS missionaries card he got when he was 12 and was brave enough to look him up when he was well into his 30's. i thanked him for joining the church and for always being a faithful member. and i got a smile! he had been basically unresponsive except for the few mumblings and hand squeezes here and there but he definitely smiled when i said this to him. my aunt leigh saw it so i knew i wasn't dilusional. he was a wonderful, grumpy, stern, inapropriate, family oriented, faithful, outgoing and social man who loved food more than anyone i know. grandpa bob, you have left behind a wonderful legacy with your seven children, many grandchildren and too many great grandchildren to count. we love you always. till we meet again, grandpa.

i also had the best time with my twin, heidi. her little guy, aiden, is six months younger than sutton and they had quite the love/hate relationship going on. she still talks about him and we have been home for over two months.

so my cousin "twin" has a problem with the thinning shears. she is addicted. so we had a little thintervention. 

out on canandaigua lake. most beautiful lake ever. 

heidi and ethan, remember that one time you went tubing in moldy life jackets? 

floyd, "fritz! it/s a size 52 chest life jacket!!!"
fritz, "i have a weird chest!"
ummm....something like that. 

she was laughing so hard she fell down and i'm pretty sure she peed her pants. it happens to me, too, sutton. 

blue walking into the sacred grove. i could have stayed there all day. so peaceful and the spirit is so strong. 

grandma and blue in the sacred grove.

we were so happy that ethan got to fly to chicago with us on our ride home.  and yes, blue had her binky on the plane. judge not. 

we had the best time in new york and i am so happy that we had the opportunity to go! i just wish my family lived closer. i love them so so so much. 

after we got back from new york we moved into our new house! pictures to come. it was a crazy week and i'm pretty sure i could have ended up in the mental hospital if it weren't for all of our amazing friends who helped in more ways than i could have ever imagined. 

so, as if i didn't have enough going on i decided that we needed to make our annual summer trip to visit my family in nevada. we hadn't been home since christmas and i was very homesick. plus, we won't be able to travel over thanksgiving OR christmas this year because of this....

yes, that's right. two. two nuggets in my belly. debuting near christmas. we are so excited. and so scared!

i had an ultrasound on morning of the day that sutton and i flew to nevada. but...i didn't look or find out that morning. i had their genders written down in a card so i could take it home and give to my mom for our reveal, which was going to be two days later when john drove down. not peeking was the hardest thing ever!!! no one believed that i could do it. but, i did. the morning after john arrived we had a bunch of family over for breakfast and so that we could finally find out what these babies were! i had always thought it was a boy/girl and john thought boy/boy. my mom is so cute and she made two baskets, one for baby A and the other for baby B. then she took pink/blue balloons and poked holes in the balloons that the baby was NOT. so if the baby was a boy, the pink balloons would deflate. i grabbed a pink balloon first, although i don't actually remember doing so. i tend to get all weird and panicky when all the attention is on me. i hate it actually. i think i get that from my parents. ha. so...we all had a balloon in our hands and mom counted to three and guess what? mine stayed up! all of the blue ones deflated. of course i got teary eyed because i was really hoping to have another girl. onto baby b. i grabbed a blue balloon, john grabbed pink. the entire time i was silently hoping for a boy. i'd love love love to have a little boy and i know it's every mans dream to have a son to do manly things with. mom counted and we blew up our balloons. and mine stayed up!!! a boy and a girl!! we are so excited, i don't even have words to explain the feelings i have! now we are working hard on picking names. i think we have them but i always find myself thinking of others. being super indecisive is probably one of the hardest things when it comes to baby names.

the rest of our week in lovelock went by way too fast. we played games, spent time outside, went to my grandma's 80th birthday party and mostly just spent time with family. sutton had a blast and i loved watching how she interacted with her cousin, emmery. i've never seen her like that with any other little person. they seriously acted like 14 year old best friends. they had us cracking up the entire week.

i have no words. 

this is mark. mark has a girlfriend. therefore, this is what mark did the entire week we visited.

my parents took us all out for their 35th wedding anniversary. their idea of romance is wack but hey, the chips and salsa were amazing.

something tells me blue has no idea what she is smiling about.

best $10 rip off ever.

watching the "parade" in lovelock for frontier days.

nothing like a real life baby doll to boss around.

gordon's first selfie. i love my dad.

now that's one happy 80 year old.

my cute, blurry brothers.

this may be my favorite picture. ever. 

or wait, maybe this one is. 

cup of ice for the long ride home. hey, it kept her happy for a good 30 minutes. 

now that you're two...

sutton blue,
lots of exciting stuff going on in our lives! we are buying a new house and will be moving in two months! you will have a big yard to run around in and lots of pretty flowers to help me take care of. mommy and daddy are also working very hard on another top secret surprise for you :) so, needless to say, life has been busy.

you truly are my best girl in the whole wide world. your daddy and i love you so much. we still check on you a dozen of times during the night to make sure you are comfortable and sleeping well. you like to kick your blankets off, make them into a pile and then lay on top of them. you still wake up happy in the morning and i usually hear you yelling, "hi!!!" or "hello!!!" over and over again until one of us goes in and gets you. sometimes you yell "mama!!!!" and that's my favorite. you still love to run into our bed and snuggle while you drink your milk. it's my favorite part of the day.

you always ask for "minnie" after you're done drinking your milk. i like you to play and be creative with your imagination and not watch too much tv but i usually let you watch one "minnie" show in the morning while you eat your breakfast. your favorite episode is one where they give pluto a bath and big bubbles take over and mickey gets stuck in one. you always have to have your bubbles in hand when you watch it. you love to go outside and blow bubbles. who am i kidding? you love to blow bubbles anywhere and sometimes i even let you do it in the house. lately you hate when i take your picture and it makes me so so sad. i'm pretty sure its karma for all the pictures i took of you when you were defenseless. now you straight up throw the hand to me and say no. you aren't sassy at all ;) you still love to shake it to loud loud music. you are constantly going into your room, shutting the door and turning your cd player on and up as loud as it will go. i call them your one woman dance parties.
currently your two favorite movies are frozen and tangled. for a while it was frozen and only frozen. i forced tangled on you because i couldn't handle frozen one more time. i needed a healthy break. we both did. i don't let you watch movies every day but when i do you usually watch bits and pieces here and there because you are like me, too busy to sit still during a movie. you're a pretty picky eater these days. some of your staples are; avocado, cucumber, mac-n-cheese (organic so that's totally ok, right?), pizza (or pee-ya to you-this is what you ask for every meal. morning or night), any fruit, fruit snacks, cheese and chips. you seem to be healthy and still lead with that belly so i'm not too worried :) you also LOVE "mum" (aka gum) and are constantly snooping through my purse hunting for some. you love wipes of any form, baby or antibacterial. you never think one is enough and if i am not careful you could go through a pack in about 15 minutes. you love to help clean and throw things away for me. i love that you're such a sweet helper. you are also super duper mischievous and i love every bit of it. your favorite game still is to play hide-n-seek. you also love to watch track with your daddy. he even taught you how to get down into the proper race starting position and when he says "GO!" you get up and run laps around the couch as fast as you can. you really,  really love when we read books to you. currently you have two that you are obsessed with; where did daddy's hair go? and walter the farting dog. yes, you love to read about the farting dog. we can thank grandma for buying you both of those books :) you are starting to talk more and more. you started saying "yep" instead of "yes" and it's possibly the cutest thing ever. you also started saying "more" with a crazy irish accent. it sounds like you are saying "marre". i love it and i hope it doesn't go away.

here's a glimpse of the many, many pictures i take of you. sorry.

you're a watermelon eatin' fool. just like your mama.

at one of our favorite restaurants, gravy. i think you drank a pint of ranch that day.

pops came to visit! you loved having him here and still ask for him every day. 

we're going to have to work on that cheese face. 

mothers day with my best girl.

you love to play "track" with daddy. i think he might love it even more than you do! 

you love playing memory games on my iPad.  (you are going to be brilliant, i just know it.)

you always have to stop at our family pictures and point out who each person is.

frolicking, like usual. 

you bring more sunshine and joy to our lives than you will ever know, baby girl! we are absolutely crazy about you and so so love watching you become you.