ooh as expected i failed obc
19.5/50 horrible..
but compared to other ppl i think i m luckier ba..
went back to xms to find teachers
so happy to see them once again
then met up with my sec sch mates
i feel so happy to see them once more..
we ate at pasta mania
then take neoprints
so memoriable..
after exam must ask ya all out again!
4e4 rawks!!
Reflection
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really amBut you'll never know me
Every dayIt's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
feeling bored..
slept in lectures..
just cant concentrate..
memories of unwanted past kept on flooding back..
sadx..
anyway tml feel like pon lecture to go sec sch..
see how lor..
during certain times of the days i will have my mood swing..
just like now..
suddenly being engulfed by emptiness..
plain emptiness..
then i cant help think about the past...
ever since sch starts..
then so much has happened..
good or bad..
most of the time..
only the bad stuffs remained..
and not the pleasant..
*sigh* *sobx*
suddenly i had a liking for those disney love songs..
so nice..
and sweet..
if my life were as sweet..
wouldnt that be nice..?
theres no one i really can talk to..
how i wish theres someone whom i can bare my heart out to..
will that someone appear..?
someday..
today was out with my foc frens for dinner
it was meant to be an outing
but so many ppl nvr come
not even the gls
wth
in the end only left with 6 person
and we went to marche
omg i feel FAT!
yesterday had sizzler
today had marche
and i ate the salmon crepe rosti & calamari
ahhhhhhhh
i feel FAT
must go and diet le
then we took neoprints so nice yea
miss ya all
qianni sujun jaime jessie aizhi
woke up to find whole body aching all over
must be due to the badminton the day before
nevertheless
i prepared myself and proceed to suntec
for my class outing with mrs tang
at sizzler
ok lah going out with her wasnt that bad after all
then some left left with
me yahfong sc alvin benji kelvin wilson
played aracade again at suntec
then sian lor
then we went bowling at marina square again
haha fun ar
then arcade again
then i played para the song too fast dunno how i swing i clawed myself
and injured my finger cuz the nail bend backwards
*ouch*
then raine come back join us in bowling
then ddr
then we keep on play the photo match machine
8 person spot the pic
keep on top the high score
haha
afte that then go home lor
aie i so guilty shd hv take 857 with sc..
then i change bus again to go home..
hai why m i so insenstive... stupid me..
early in the morning run to bukit gombak play badminton
i play awhile then sian le
then after that eat at lot 1 ljs
rotted at arcade
go home
finger still pain
ahh
why ley???
CT finish!!
obc sux! failing most prob!
well..
so lets have fun over the rest of this wk!
wait till next wk result come out then say la
got alot of programme lined up
well today after paper then was at orchard whole day
walked shopped talked ate played
only reach home at 9 plus
haha then today raining so heavily..
walking in the rain
feeling slpy.. sickly..
cold........ gotta slp...
tml have to get up early..
oyasumi..
cellbio maybe can pass??
got a slight chance to pass..
well tml obc is a killer..
not in the mood of studying..
predicted 65% of ppl will fail
aint i mean?
my finger still pain..
dunno why..
then recently digestive system not very good also..
hmm
something that i m worried of...
is not death..
but kidney failure or cancer these kind of things..
cuz u cant live as per normal..
yet u cant die..
sad huh..
happy bdae to my mum!
really grateful to her for my upbringing for the past 17 years
such that other then my results..
i m a polite and wellmannered person
hope u will stay healthy and one day strike toto haha
wasted ar! didnt expect to know the labelling...
all the while i study by words words & more words
never see the pic! argh!
then worst still lecture 6 didnt get into my mind
therefore most of the things related to that was blank!
aw so sad..
shd be able to pass... hear that? PASS only..
tml cellbio..
something that i m not gd at...
recently ar..
i came to realise that toolbar on my blog...
its so sickening!
now my blog looks ugly for its blocking the words..
can i get rid of it???
finger pain ley..
dunno why..
just now play arcade..
ooh i shdnt do that during ct!
finger pain after playing.. sobx..
2 days to go b4 the fun starts!
wish me luck..
really need the LUCK!!
physio paper tml...
shd i study..
shd i not..
aint got the mood to study today...
*sigh*
nobody understands..
sun is my last chance..
5th entry... am i starting to become crazy??
but this passage is so true.. and meaningful...
People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! - But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
what a cold day..
feeling so cold..
hmm...
4 entries on the same day..
guess i m really too free??
now i understand why edmund like to blast noisy music whenever hes troubled..
because it feels good..
and at least seems like i m out of the world..
please..
may my troubles turns into a papillon and fly away...
although i dont really like jay zhou..
but qi li xiang is really a nice song..
i receive this sms on 520am from some anonymous number..
"Dreaming is not merely an act of communication; it is also an aesthetic activity, a game of the imagination, a game that is a value in itself. Our dreams preams prove that to imagine- to dream about things that have not happened is among mankind's deepest needs."- milan kundera undera
sounds like some quote from church thing..
i feel sad..
things will never be the same again..
i really dunno how to talk to u anymore..
even during audio there will be silence..
maybe without my existence u all will be happier..
after all we are not related in anyway..
so happy to see that u can make frens with her frens..
maybe u will be better off if u are closer to her..
i m just a plain stupid person..
u are much cleverer than i do..
with her assistance u can surely score well..
i cant help u in ur studies..
with me around will only create troubles for u..
wouldnt it be nice if i never existed?
what a dilemma i m in..
being with u all will only made me feel more saddened..
cuz i dunno how to talk to u all just like before..
in this poly theres no one i can trust..
no one i really believes..
no one i can bare my heart out to..
did i really made the wrong choice to come np? or this course?
i can still remember how i met u all on 1st day of sch...
how close we used to be despite the short period..
but things will never be the same again..
just like she said that time..
"even if we can try to forget everything, there will still forever be a gap"
i guess its true..
so i have came to a decision..
i wont bother u all unneccessaryly anymore..
sobx..
i feel like crying..
but i wont..
and i shouldnt..
i dun want to waste my tears on frens again..
frens are nothing more but illusion..
ahhhhhhh
i dunno what am i studying!!
die!
3 days left..
ehhhhh
i haven study lor!
why all the ppl so kiasu one..
wth...
then yesterday some bloody fuckers stole yahfong's wallet and hp
hope that they climb stairs fell down!
cross road let car bang!
till they wish that how nice would it be if they werent even born!
yesterday night
i talked to mel..
sometimes i feel that i dui bu qi her..
but then able to talk and crap to her like before..
was really something very enjoyable..
how i wish the time would just freeze..
i really feel that i treat ppl too kind..
thats why ppl always take me for granted...
saded..
wouldnt it be better if i treat ppl more coldly??
...absolute zero...
fireworks! fireworks!
aha! i went to see them again!
this weeks is even more beautiful then last weeks
went with my some of my ex college
and we kept on talking about how fun was it last time..
i feel that they are even nicer then some of the people who treat me now..
then we hang around marina square..
a place we used to rot at when we were working..
it brings back so many memories..
oops..
now i feel so sinned again
cuz i am supposed to study
and i went to see fireworks!
well...
still got time?
i am not that kiasu..
steamboat~ steamboat~
its delicious~
i like steamboat~
though abit troublesome~
but nice~
hmm i like ed new hair its nice
color is nice too
so let me see... i wanna dye again too
but not so soon cuz i just dyed like 2 mths ago
maybe during november i shall do that
i scared dye again too fast will spoilt my hair condition
so....
wait till december ba
fri of 13th..
what a cursed day..
if u really treat someone as a important friend..
u wouldnt mind to be sacrificed right..
even if the person dont treat u well..
often make use of u..
u will still gladly treat the person well right?
if one day this friend suddenly said..
'i have screwed up not only my life but yours and the best thing i can do is to disappear from your life'
how would u feel...?
i can understand the feeling very well..
because it just happened to me..
the words were like darts that shot through my heart..
it hurts..
it really did..
and i would like to say..
now what u said screwed up my life even more!
i am innocent in the whole incident and yet..
fine.. if thats what U want..
just like the tarot cards explained..
now i which is the obstacle that is out of UR life
u can jolly well do what u want..
since u choose to sacrifice me for ur future..
i shouldnt even have shed a tear for u..
and because of what u said..
i got so distraughted that i miss my bus stop..
didnt even got the mood to have dinner..
and my eyes are tired and swollen after crying..
please dont get teary after reading..
because i am the one who supposed to cry and not u..
the village is a sucky show!
dun watch!
u will regret it!
anyway..
i have been going out for like..
the past few days
everyday after school also got place to run
no wonder money is going down..
*sigh*
next wk is study break!
by right is to study lah
but..
by left then........
hahahah
cannot ar must study!
i dun wanna fail and retain or retake module...
gambate ne!
apple got into the strings..
the people contacted her le..
so gd rite..
why i dun have neh?
seems like i dun have affinity with violin..
aie i have been missing for the past wk
abit busy with all the craps
anyway
i went to see fireworks!!
its so beautiful..
and cramped with people..
anyway
today finally presented cellbio!
another work off my shoulder
currently afraid of the common test in 2 wks time!!
ooh scary..
Wackiness: 62/100
Rationality: 36/100
Constructiveness: 66/100
Leadership: 50/100
You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a candle burning at both ends. You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.
http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better+Personality&page=1
the sunshine is finally out after the heavy downpour..
all thats well ends well..
went for the cca fiesta today
uh huh
finally i m going to fufill my dreams
joined NP strings
going to learn violin
YAY
i love violin
its so elegant and graceful
haha..
finally got the chance to learn
OMG!
what the hell did i said yesterday
well.. think i blabbered alot of rubbish..
well.. forget it..
..
i would rather stay in my dreams..
than to wake up to the reality..
*sigh*
the sky was overlooming with dark clouds the whole day...
seems like alot of sites are also down today..
dunno why..
*sigh*
it doesnt affect me much..
another 2 of my friends said they had fallen out of love..
cuz the person they like dun like them..
sad huh??
seems like i m also one of them..
*sigh*
so much happenings..
had our bbq today!
feeling happy! high! tipsy!
raine's house is situated on a hill slope of choa chu kang~~
a corner terrace house~~
hahaha~
3 story somemore~~
hahaha~
the grass is so smooth~
but ur house alot of dust yea~
haven u been moping the floor?
hahaha
then we bbqed
and drank vodka!
taste abit sweet bitter and spicy
hahaah
i m literally swaying side to side now!
i m so happy~ oh so tipsy~
now i realise drinking can really forget all the troubles!
i feel as if i m on clouds nine~~
hahaha
now come to the problem again~
haha
its funny that u can get angry on the 31 july
and i haven even read it
then u apologise on 1 aug
and i never even say anything lor~
and all the while i never expect u to help me lor~
hahaha
hahaha
i m tipsy~
thats why the only emotion i have now is happiness!
not sadness nor anger
maybe if u all talked nicely to me today
everything will resolve!
cuz i m half drunked!
ahahhae
but i think u hv missed ur chance~
and i dunno how is that gonna resolve!
face to face??
haahahhaah
lalalaa
i feel high~~
