Changes + A Few Crazy Stuff before the Break is Over

With the many 21st birthdays this month, I'm really enjoying myself. 21st is a significant year although every year's significance depends very much on oneself. Hahaz. All these parties make me ponder. Do I wanna have a birthday blast? I'll think about it closer to date. Anyways, I'll get myself a tattoo if I find something I like.

Mid term exams are 2/3 over. I only started studying for the 2 midterms 1.5 days before the exams. Frantic rush to squeeze everything into my only half functional brain. Yes, my brain is not exactly functioning well. It has deteriorated. I guess in more than one way, I've changed over the past one year or so. I believe I said that last year also huh.

Haha I guess I've pretty much grown up.
Knowing how others think, knowing how different people are like, knowing the dynamics of life and all.
Seeing the bad side of people, seeing the meaning behind different actions and words.
Understanding the bigger picture, understanding that you should live your life the way you want it to be.
Where reality and ideals dont merge, you make them merge. Life is about choices; whatever choices you make, you lose some, gain some. Choose the one you like better.



Sad to say, I havent been studying the whole recess week. I intended to study and also have good time. Apparently, the latter took up most of it.

Couple of crazy things.

Going to ECP with a bottle of chivas 12 years and drinking most of it.
Letting a half drunk driver drive me home.
Smoke a cigarette.
Unsuccessful sentosa tanning session became shopping spree, sakae sushi and 2 movies.
Unsuccessful sentosa hotel stay became mahjong session.
Went to Starbucks with the intention to study, drank vodka-pepsi-lemon mix instead of coffee.
Went to Shanghai Jazz after so long.

It has been raining the entire week. Wanted to practically live on the beach this week but could only find one sunny day to tan. I'm a bit more tan now but not tan enough. Boos

Have been playing so hard this term I haven't been studying at all. It's like study + projects 1%, socializing + drinking 99%. I pity my liver.

Maybe that's why I'm sick now.

Parties too many?

oh my god.. Too many gatherings and parties this fri and sat! I really gotta foresake one for the other. I hate this

Rawr

I sorta promised to go to that 4/2 gathering. But i think the hawaiian party is just too great to be missed! What's more, it's jos 21st! :( If the 4/2 gathering wasn't a potluck, i probably can still go. But i have a lesson till 645 and i cant prepare any food. So sad

Sat, it's the same dilema! At least, similar. Party versus clubbing. Haha

Plus i needa study! Haven't been studying the whole term. My gosh mid terms are near!

Went for this choc and sushi making session with Clara. The shopping for grocery part was a drag. But thankfully, the hands on is quite good!!

As you can see, the choc turns out to be so pretty and nice. I love dark choc! :) The sushi? We gobbled them up before any photos were taken.

Valentine's is coming! Those who are attached can try making some of these for your special someone. I will probably get some of these in my dreams. ;)

About Life

Life is full of complexities. Correction, life is complex when our minds are not pure.

In actual fact, our minds are pure when we're first born. We have innate tendencies but we are not born hypocrites, born sinisters.

Babies crave for food, for affection. Babies are real; They smile and laugh when they're happy, and cry when they're angry or sad or frustrated. As we grow up, however, these cravings, these longings stay with us, yet this innocence faded. More and more, we fake smiles, we shield ourselves with masks, we ploy, we pretend. It's a steep learning curve; we fall, and we learn. We fall, and get back on our feet. Sometimes it heals, sometimes it doesnt, sometimes we pretend that it healed when all we did is to bury it in our hearts or at the back of our mind. Perhaps, it is subconscious. Perhaps, we're in self denial.

Humans, no matter how protected, are bound to get hurt, to have emotional scars. Take, for example, a boy whose father has been telling him how useless he is. Or, a girl whose parents are quarreling all day long and heading towards divorce. Or, a boy with a father with violent tendencies and have a mistress somewhere out there. You get what I mean. They grow up to be self depreciating, to have little faith in marriage, to have little confidence in themselves.

Depending on your experiences in life, and your outlook, you change. For better or for worse? There is no definite answer. Say, a girl who have fallen out of love because her boyfriend cheated on her. From that experience, she understood that she gotta be more wary, to not trust so readily. It's good because it makes her less vulnerable in the future, but it's bad as she is no longer as trusting, even if her next boyfriend deserves her trust.

We start with a 100% energy. As time passes, it dwindles. Do you still have the energy in you or are you just an empty shell? If you're that empty shell, please do change your perspective, drop all those negativity in you, fill yourself up with positive energy, and REALLY enjoy life.

In order to enjoy life, we must enjoy what we do. We work our lives away, almost. If we hold a job which we have absolutely no passion or interest in, where is the joy? I know of people pursuing their careers only because the job is stable, or they can make lots of money outta it. They slog their lives away; they neglect other important things. It's okay if they are happy with that. But, most of them are not. What's the point of rolling in cash on your death bed?

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I guess that's enough thoughts for now. :)

25 random things

Here goes.

1) My two brothers used to bully me. Literally,step on me.

2) I used to be an ultra quiet girl in school ( and only in school)

3) I sang the national anthem and pretended that mattresses were caves with my cousins in my grandma's place when I was young. freaking boring you see

4) Over the years, I acquired the bitter taste and grew to like bitter stuff like dark choc, liqour, beer, bittergourd, etc

5) I detest celery

6) Given my current mindset, I would remain single ( not get married) my whole life.

7) I dont wanna get pregnant before marriage. No abortion, no shotgun marriage for me

8) My room is always in a mess. My queen size bed is practically a single bed cause half of it is occupied by stuff.

9) For me, it's mostly heart before head.

10) My mom trusts me when I dont even trust myself.

11) I want to do crazy, fun stuff.

12) I wanna travel around the world.

13) I wouldnt wanna live a long life. I would be satisfied with a short yet fulfilling and enjoyable life.

14) I need to find someone trustworthy to drink with me when I'm down.

15) I love kangkong, spinach, and sweet potato leaves.

16) I used to love studying. Now I study only when I have to.

17) I read non fiction much more than fiction.

18) Prefer practical gifts to non practical gifts.

19) I dont like my dad

20) I tried two puffs of the cigarette, but would like to find out why smokers enjoy smoking

21) Burying my head in my bolster, turning to my right side, and a blanket covering almost the whole of me is a must before I sleep (most of the time)

22) Loves parties with nice music, nice people, nice drinks

23) Learning karate, new jazz

24) Wanna learn swimming, scuba diving, wakeboarding, skating.. Wanna perfect them

25) Just bought a new perfume - Romance and loving the smell