我们一起加油吧！

Ok. First paper for finals done. Which means that i am one quarter through this ordeal. Remember how i said i wanted to study my ass off for Macro and try to score at least an A-? Well, over the past study break week, i have yet to touch even a chapter of Macro. Spent most of the study week studying for Philo. And i think i didn't do that well for Philo either. Who cares who said what? LOL. i don't know whether to laugh or to sigh.

Bidding goodbye to even the Dean's List maybe? Sighs. I just hope my results for this sem will not be too bad.

2 papers on Wednesday! 1 last paper on Thursday! I can do this! =)

Oh, my body clock's all weird again. I cannot sleep at night, no matter how tired i feel. Last night was torturous. Felt physically and mentally tired when i laid down on bed last night because of the string of events which happened during the day. I thought i would just fall asleep immediately, but no, my mind had other plans. It began to be so wide awake and clear that i had difficulty falling asleep. And halfway throughout my endeavor to fall asleep, my throat began to hurt real bad whenever i swallow and yup, i can almost feel the onset of a fever. Well, i finally managed to fall asleep at god knows what hour. After finals, i need to readjust my body clock. Even as i say this, i have a feeling that this will not happen. Lol.

昨天上了一堂很宝贵的人生课。
再多的推测，再多的揣摩，也不一定是对的。
人生，往往有许多事情是我们解释不了的。
但，当事实摆在眼前时，我们也不得不接受。
勇敢往前冲，才是最好的方法。

有着酸甜苦辣，这才是人生!

我相信

想飛上天 和太陽肩並肩 世界等著我去改變

想作的夢從不怕別人看見 在這裡我都能實現
大聲歡笑 讓你我肩並肩 何處不能歡樂無限
拋開煩惱勇敢的大步向前 我就站在舞台中間


我相信我就是我 我相信明天
我相信青春沒有地平線
在日落的海邊 在熱鬧的大街
都是我心中最美的樂園


我相信自由自在 我相信希望
我相信伸手就能碰到天
有你在我身邊 讓生活更新鮮
每一刻都精彩萬分  I do believe


想飛上天 和太陽肩並肩 世界等著我去改變
拋開煩惱勇敢的大步向前 我就站在舞台中間


我相信我就是我 我相信明天
我相信青春沒有地平線
在日落的海邊 在熱鬧的大街
都是我心中最美的樂園


我相信自由自在 我相信希望
我相信伸手就能碰到天
有你在我身邊 讓生活更新鮮
每一刻都精彩萬分 I do believe


我相信（我就是我）
我相信（自由自在）
我相信（我相信我相信）I believe


我相信我就是我 我相信明天
我相信青春沒有地平線
在日落的海邊 在熱鬧的大街
都是我心中最美的樂園


我相信自由自在 我相信希望
我相信伸手就能碰到天
有你在我身邊 讓生活更新鮮
每一刻都精彩萬分 I do believe
~

我相信明天，我相信希望！=)

There will always be many uncertainties in life. Some which you understand, some which you don't. Some which you can accept, while some you wish you need not.


Despite all the uncertainties and confusion around us, there is still one thing for sure, we decide who we are, we decide our actions, we decide how to respond and we decide who we want to be. No one can make you feel bad if you choose not to feel that way. It comes from within.


So, choose to believe in the good you see! It's always better to remember the good and smile than to dwell on the bad and be bitter, right? =)


I believe in me, i believe in you, i believe in all of us =)

Home prep

I realize that i can never study at home in the afternoon. My bed is just too alluring and inviting. 4 days and i have yet to complete even one subject. Sighs. This unproductivity is just so like me.

Ohio has yet to send me my I-20. Guess if i still don't hear from them after my finals i would have to make a call to them again. Oh dear Ohio, why must you be so inefficient?

I feel like running.

A splash of fun!

Went to Kampar over the weekend with my family. It was just an overnight trip, short, but definitely sweet. Dad actually went there for a hash run. My bro joined him in the run while me and my mom decided to skip it. I ended up going to the waterfall with a few other people and ended up with the responsibilities of looking after the younger ones. Not an easy task, especially at the waterfall. Almost got a heart attack. 



The cute little boy i was supposed to look after.



And yes!!! He is very mischievous!

A short but refreshing trip before i start mugging for finals =)

the tough gets going.

Hmm... It is my last day of formal lessons in Inti as i will not be taking classes during the short semester. I don't feel sad at all about leaving Inti actually. I wouldn't miss the place. Just the people. Without knowing it, i have become quite close to quite a few people. Even those who are not very close, i would miss seeing and greeting them, i would miss laughing together and just feeling happy together.

Last lesson of Macro and i actually now think that Ms J is a nice lecturer. The way she prepared those little pieces of paper that reflects our coursework marks and how she evaluates them and tell us to work harder to achieve which grade in the finals actually made me go "aww... she's such a nice lecturer.." Hmm.. my coursework is at a borderline B+ right now =( Sighs. Shall study really really hard to pull it up to an A-. Sighs. A-. I care and i don't care. If you know what i mean. Lol.

Going to the funeral home tomorrow. For human development. Looking forward to the different experience i would get there.

Honestly, this semester has been enriching. I've realised that i have learnt a lot this semester that i can apply to my life. Philosophy and Human Development have taught me so much. Philosophy actually is a very interesting class. And i am definitely glad that i chose it over US History.

Study break next week, and then it's finals! Bring it on!!!

A ravenous appetite

My own appetite for lunch surprised myself today! Didn't think i would be able to finish one pizza and a "loaf" of garlic bread but i did! =) And i wasn't even hungry in the first place. Lol.

Ok. Enough talking. Back to work.

孩子气

Another meaningful day today, for different reasons.

I am very happy that L agreed to go with me this morning to teach English. I am even happier that she found it meaningful and that she loves the children there. I'm happiest because she agreed to make it a weekly thing as well. It's always nice to find a partner who shares the same passion as you. And even though what we do might seem small, i am sure we will be able to make a difference. I'm glad i found you =) And i'm glad we're in this together! Now, to find more people who will be willing to join us. =)

Today was easier compared to last week. I guess after last week, i knew better what to expect and thus can adjust the things i teach to suit the students better. At least this week i did not feel drained. The next time will be better.

Oh, one of my students gave me a mug of water when i was teaching halfway today. I was touched at their thoughtfulness. =)

Oh, college friends are starting to make me feel 舍不得to leave Inti. There is this vibe there, where we all talk and then suddenly someone reminds us that we will not be able to do this for long and then there will be this feeling of sadness lingering in the air. Hmm. Last week in Inti next week. Gonna make it a full attendance!

Watched the Shanghai Grandprix today. Need to study for Accounts test soon so that i can watch the United match later.

Looking forward to what the future has to offer me. Nothing is set in stone, and am looking forward to surprises, good or bad. I'll take them in my stride. =)

成长过程

最近很多感触。And it's all because of Human Development. Was required to interview my parents and was required to write a journal after that. In my interview with my parents, i found out some things which 让我有很多感触。I don't know how to describe how i feel. I don't think it is sadness. In my writing of the journal, i actually teared-up. I realized how much my parents are sacrificing for me and i do not want them to go through that sacrifice. I know that going overseas to study will burn a big hole in their pockets and i feel bad at times, for having to spend their hard earned money. I have a plan. But i need a better plan. Sighs. I will make this work.

Watched the second half of Tokyo Towers in class today.And i actually teared-up and cried in class. I know a few others did too. The ending part of the movie when the mother got sick and was dying was too real. It really is very hard to see your love ones suffer. Especially when you cannot do anything for them. That feeling of helplessness is not hard to imagine. When the movie ended and Ms T asked us what we thought about it, the whole class was silent. Literally pindrop silence. You can practically feel the tension in the air. There was an overwhelming feeling of sadness lingering. When Ms T pinpointed at me to answer her, i was at a loss for words as well. It felt as if if i open my mouth to speak, the emotions would all come pouring out.

The movie and the interview and the journals made me think a lot about my parents, and how they have aged. Suddenly, i do not want to spend so much time in the States anymore. I want to be by their side. I want to be home.

One part in the movie left a strong impression on me. When the mother was in the hospital, she asked her son to bring the framed up degree of his. And she wiped it and looked at it with pride. It reminded me of what my parents told me was their biggest concern at this stage of their life: their children's education.

Our parents have sacrificed a lot for us. The least we could do is to think of them in everything that we do. The most basic one would be to not let them worry. I try my best to do that, to not let them worry. That's why when possible, i want them to know that i am safe and sound before they go to bed each night. Our parents love us, and will never stop worrying about us. We as children, should love them in our own way too.

I was disappointed today. With the marks i got for philosophy assignment and macroeconomics assignment. To say that i don't care because i already have a place in a uni would be a lie. I actually do care, a little. But i am not going to dwell on it as well. It doesn't make a big difference now anyway. Just that my final transcript will be a little less that what i wanted. Oh well, who cares? No one would 5 months from now! =)

Oh, and my sleep pattern is all screwed up. Never slept at all last night. Went for straight 8 hours of lessons today. Then i slept from 5 to 7pm. Dinner. Slept from 8 to 10pm. Did Human Development assignment. And here i am now blogging because i am not in the least bit sleepy at all.

When thing turned out well unexpectedly.

Week turned out to be less hectic thanks to unexpected changes =)

Instead of two assignments due tomorrow. I can now hand in one on Friday thanks to A who kindly offered to help me print it out and submit it in college on Friday. (I was previously too lazy to make the trip down to college and had just planned on submitting it on Thursday) And instead of having a test tomorrow, i heard that it is being postponed to next Tuesday. =)

That means 2 test next week but i am happy! =)

Maybe i'll just agree to go for a movie tonight! =)

A few good news in the short span of a few hours! =)
Jia You!!!!!

Be happy!

I realized something today. Many times we get affected or disappointed because what happens is different from our expectations. You know what? With a changed mindset and a different set of expectations, i realized that i am less affected and less disappointed. Sometimes, it is just a matter of getting used to. At first, you might be agitated, but as time passes and the thing repeats itself, i guess you get used to it and will no longer be bothered by it as well.

Life goes on no matter what, so why choose to be sad when you can just have a changed mindset and be happy?

Be happy ok? =)

2 more days to Friday!

I will be extremely relieved after this week is over. Because that means i'm left with only one more test and probably two more journals for next week. And then, it's study break!!! Then, it's finals!!! And then, it's the start of break =)

Just realized today while trying to hide from MsJ that i've missed three macro classes in a row. Well, that will not continue because there is no way i'm missing Thursday's session. We're having Test 2 on that day.

Today was a fun day. Have not actually laughed so much in a while. =) Looking forward to dinner with cying, kx and new. oh, and of course, cl too!

A challenging morning

Finally started teaching English at the orphanage today. I went alone, because my dad had a meeting to attend and my brother was too lazy to wake up.

It was way way tougher than i anticipated. At the end of the 3 hour session with 3 different classes and age group, i was literally drained. I felt tired, spent, as if there was no energy left in me. Came back home and took a four-hour nap.

Why do i say that it is tough? Well, let's see. The first class was the most challenging in terms of control. Preschoolers and children aged 4 to 8 are hyperactive i tell you! And they have the concentration span of a goldfish! I planned to read them a short story and explain to them what it means in Chinese. I chose a story with a moral in which i can impart good values and beliefs in them. Since they are required to learn English, why not kill two bids with one stone right? But guess what? I did not finish even half of my very short story. In fact, i effectively only read and explained to them one paragraph, which actually is only two not very long lines. Children, trying to capture their attention is already hard enough. Trying to make them remember something and learn something, a lot tougher than i anticipated!

The next two classes were easier to control, as they were bigger in age. Age 9 to 12 children are still pretty mischievous and they too can test my patience. I try my best to teach them how to speak English, but sometimes i wonder if what i am doing is useful to them. Do they just blindly follow me in enunciating the words or do they really understand? The secondary class was the most challenging for me in terms of what to teach. I am literally at a loss as to what i should do. I was supposed to teach them how to write essays. But i couldn't. They cannot form sentences or even spell properly. I do not know where to start. Maybe right from the beginning, from the basics. Basic spelling and basic grammar. Basic sentence formation.

I really hope to help them but i can only do that much since i'll be leaving soon. That's why i have a plan. I want to rope in more friends so that this thing can continue even after i leave for the States. So far, no one seem really enthusiastic and interested in this volunteer work and i admit that i am a bit disappointed and sad. But i'm sure that in time, more people would be willing to help.

That being said, i agree that this is not an easy job. It takes patience and lots of determination. It is just my first class and already i feel drained. Literally drained. Now i understand why people get burnouts. I think i need to motivate myself further, maybe by re watching Freedom Writers? I need to find ways to increase my spirit, my enthusiasm and my energy level because i am quite sure that i will be needing it!

~

Things don't always go as planned or as hoped. But we just have to believe that it is for the best. With that belief, only then can we make the best of whatever is thrown our way! So, hold your head up high and face it with a smile on your face!

NO to the States. lol.

I WANNA GO TO THE SINGAPORE F1 GRANDPRIX in September!!! Jay Chou, Katy Perry and Maroon 5 performing! Damn. I'll be in the States by then =(

Les Miserables

Skipped half my classes this week. Can feel the motivation to go to classes slowly evaporating away. You know it when you rather skip class and sit in CAE doing nothing. I guess being bored in CAE beats going to class and listening to the lecturer mumbling something that will most probably be off tangent.

This week felt long, and short at the same time. It is a week that i would like to put behind me. Feeling so thankful that the weekend is here. Granted, there are still assigments and quizes to complete and tests to study for. But, still, it's the weekends! Gonna spend my time wisely and do something meaningful this weekend!

Some days, i don't want August to come so fast, but on other days, i wished it would come sooner! A brand new adventure seems exciting enough!

3 more weeks!

"Human society can be full of contradictions. It can be unfair; unforgiving, too. Yet, we cannot afford to dismiss it and turn our backs to the world. Given a choice whether to sink or swim, we must swim to the very end, no matter how the seas around us may rage."

Suffered from insomnia again last night. I think i drank too much tea (so much for choosing to drink tea). When i told my aunt that, i got chided@@ You know, today is just one of those days where many things seem to go wrong.

You know what's good about having a bad day? 2morrow definitely will be a better one!!! LOL!

=)

Sleepy. Very. But definitely feeling much much better =)

Why on earth am i feeling so.... tensed?

I have a bad feeling today and i cannot pinpoint it to a reason. I'll just conclude that i am feeling stressed up. Stressed up for Macro assignment which is due tomorrow. Honestly, i have no idea why i am feeling this way. I usually don't. But i cannot find another reason to justify the way i am feeling right now so it must be Macro. Can't wait to finally finish the assignment and to hand it in tomorrow. Last three weeks and i'll be free of deadlines! Seriously cannot wait for it to all be over real soon.

For now, breathe. One step at a time. We'll pull through this, just like we always do.

When friends and family gather

I know i said that i will complete all my assignments by this weekend, but to no surprise (for those who know me well at least), i failed miserably. Oh well, i'll still get it done by the deadline, that's for sure. But right now, i am going to bed and waking up in a few hours time to study for philo test and continue with macro assignment. I can't function with so little sleep. So no point trying right now.

It's been a busy but great weekend, for so many reasons.