Head up with a big wide grin

First semester in Inti has ended. Well, that is if i don't take into account that we have yet to sit for our finals. Time flies.

Anyway, i currently have two choices for my life path. It's either Singapore (assuming i'm accepted with a scholarship) or continuing as it is in Inti for a longer period of time and then applying to somewhere which does not cost a bomb. Honestly speaking, i'm at a crossroads now. I don't know how and what to choose. Previously i was against continuing in Singapore but right now my sentiments have changed. I know i can make the most out of my education in Singapore. (Even though i gave up one option by not going for the LKC scholarship thing today.) The only thing that is really holding me back from deciding straight away to go to Singapore is the 3 year service required because of the tuition grant offered. On the other hand. Inti seems fine but i really have limited courses to take each semester, since only one higher psych course is offered each semester. I guess the clever option would be to do a double degree or a double major in Singapore? I don't know. I still don't.

Anyway, speaking bout interviews, mine went fairly smoothly but honestly i am afraid that the interviewers can tell that i was crapping and i don't really know what i was talking about. (Politics is not my cup of tea.) Oh well, i admitted i don't know much but i will try my best to answer them still. It was a pretty relaxed interview, more like a conversation in which i tried convincing them that Malaysia would not go the same way as Libya and that not all Malays feel that ketuanan melayu is justified.

Oh, as for Uni decisions, i've finally had all the results. UMich offered to wait list me but it doesn't make a difference now. UIUC sends me an email every other day to accept their offer. As much as i want to i can't. The other 3 rejected me. As sad as i may be initially, it doesn't make a difference now. Perhaps o would be sadder if they all accepted me and i can't go. So yup, i count my blessings and i smile. =)

Overall, i'm a happy girl! =) who is thankful for what she has now. Even though she might complain and sound moody at time, this girl is actually thankful for her lot in life! =)

"Sometime, the smallest things take up the most room you your heart."

Ramblings of a lost soul.

Should i insist on doing it my way(it's not really what i wanted initially either) or should i just give in? Seriously, i am feeling very lost now. Lost as in i don't know what i should do. SIGHS.

When emails replace letters

A heartwarmingly long email from an aunt in London =) It brightened up my day!

I hate trips to the dentist

Drove to the dentist today. With my parents in the car of course. A pain has been bothering me for weeks now and i finally decided to get it checked out. Anyway, got an x-ray and an injection to numb the area and i think the doctor did something which i don't know what to my tooth. So after that, i wanted to drive home but guess what my brilliant dad said? LOL. "I drive. Your mouth is still numb, reflexes will be slower." The excuses he comes up with so that i would not drive is hilarious at times! Anyway, my teeth is still hurting despite the trip to the dentist today. Guess a root canal is due. Shit. This is what makes me hate the dentist so much. At least i did not cling on to the railings and bawl my lungs out like i did when i was younger.

An Addiction

I'm currently addicted to this show.Every weekday, 7pm to 8pm on 317. It's a story about the ups and downs a family has to go through, and the strong bonds and amount of understanding among the family members never fail to pull at my heartstrings. I like the character of the dad, the advices he dishes out to his children always reflect his patient character. He reminds me of my own dad at times actually. Both are dads who explain, not argue with the children or just dictate the lives of their children. And both understand the children as well. I like the character of the second daughter as well. Granted, she may be short tempered, but she really is the epitome of filial piety. She thinks of the family, always. Most of the character in this show, especially the mom and the grandmother, has depth and their own personal story to tell, making it an interesting show. Seriously, this is the first time in a really long time that i am addicted to any show. Maybe it's because this show really portrays a realistic family life, one which i can relate to as well at times. “我们家的感情包得紧紧的，黏黏的，就好像饭团！”

Dream of two years came crashing down

It's not the specific one, but the whole freaking idea. It's like i just woke up and find myself out in the cold. I try hard to pretend that i am ok with it but i really am not.

Life's not a bed of roses, but even so, it's not all that bad.

So i won't give up, no i won't break down. Sooner than it seems life turns around. And i will be strong even if it all goes wrong. When i'm standing in the dark i'll still believe. That someone's watching over me. (Someone's watching over me- Hilary Duff)

Ranting out loud because i refuse to break down.

I hate seeing the words "we are unable to...", when that small glimmer of hope is finally crushed. Am still waiting for my dream school to accept me, but seriously, i have no confidence at all. Because even Mac rejected me. I can blame it on the large financial aid request i put in. Or i can blame myself for not putting in more effort into the application. But i won't. i hate this feeling of knowing that i am not good enough nor wanted. I am disappointed. Perhaps i should have applied to the UK. But then again, that wouldn't be what i really wanted. Funny how my safety school actually rejected me. And ironic how a school i didn't even think of applying to until the eleventh hour actually accepted me. I really don't want to end up somewhere i don't want to be for another 3 years. But looking at current circumstances, perhaps i should be a little less insistent and a little more appreciative and understanding. Maybe an attitude change is needed. Sighs, no matter what, i shall make full use of the opportunities and chances that come my way. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Turn it into a franchise and make billions of dollars! Praying hard that UMich wants me.