just an update............

All of us... Jess, Adam, Kati and me

the pre-game show

This week has been busy once again... I don't ever feel like I get much done or even do anything that exciting, but the days go by so fast. I wanted to update my blog because this is the only type of "journal" I keep. Thursday Tessa had her 4 month well check. She weights 13.4 pounds. She is 25% for weight, 50% for height and 75% for head. I guess big heads run in the family being that Ryan's wife, Taryn, just had to have a c-section on Monday because her baby's head was too big. Tessa got her 1st round of immunizations. I waited this long because I just hate having my little babies get shots. She has really suffered from them. For 2 days it made her cranky and she would at times just cry and cry and there was nothing I could do to comfort her. I really think I'll skip the ones at her next appt. because I hate to see her suffer and I know she was in pain.

Friday I took Frog Eye salad to Hannah and Emily's class for a snack. (thanks to Kristi's blog for the recipe and idea that came from it.)They had been studying frogs all week and I thought that would be a fun thing for them. It's funny because Friday morning I had the girls try it and they didn't like it at all, but when everyone else in the class liked it all of a sudden they did too. Hannah told me the reason for the change is that when she tried it in the morning it was only a little bit, but when she had a big amount and could taste it all together suddenly it tasted better. Emily told me that things just taste different in the morning. Anyway, the salad was a hit and I'm glad I could do it. Friday night I had my weekly massage appointment. This time with hot and cold stones- it was wonderful! I'm so addicted!


Tonight Kati and Adam invited Jess and I to go to the ASU football game with them. It was a lot of fun to go out and they are such fun people to be with. They had really great tickets from Adams grandparents. Let me start by saying that our parking space was reserved and literally the one closest to the gate where you go in. It was so nice not having to walk a mile just to get to the stadium. Our seats were in the Loge. I'm not sure what that means other than that all the food and drinks on that level were complimentary. We joked that between all of us we probably drank $50 in soda alone- just because it was free. They served fajitas, hotdogs and beans, pretzels, popcorn, peanuts and different types of cookies. It was so nice because normally we wouldn't have bought any food because we are to cheap to pay those prices. I'm so tired and have to get up early for an interview with the stake president tomorrow.
When the scheduler called today to make the appointment she said that he wanted to see us at 8:30 AM! I asked if there were any other times (who does that?) and she told me no, he wants to see you at 8:30. Then I said, well I don't know what I'll do with our kids and she said- oh, just bring them. I don't know about you, but that's the last thing I want to do. We'd have to all wake up at 6:30 to be there by 8:30- and that's just not my thing. I'm glad I have kids that like to sleep in. Luckily, the girl across the street said she'd come over and watch them while we are gone. I'm sure they'll all be asleep anyway. Well I'd better get to bed.

Yeah- My computer if fixed!! I think....

I haven't posted for so long (I know you've all been on the edge of your seats) because 1st, last week I was preparing for company and then with the company didn't have time for the computer, and then 2nd, when they left my computer wasn't working. I could visit websites by clicking favorties on my mouse, but nothing on my keyboard worked. It was so hard to live through these past 3 days without a full functioning computer. Jess worked on it tonight and now it's working. I don't know what he did, but I'm glad he did it!

It's super late right now, but I just wanted to do the quick update and also share a couple pictures I took of Bridget today. She got into my make-up and apparently she was putting it on hiding because she didn't have a mirror and when she finished and looked at herself in the mirror she was so distraught. She thought she would look so beautiful with the makeup and was so sad that it didn't turn out the way she had thought it would. She came into the room where I was almost in tears because it looked "ugly" and she wanted it off. I couldn't even get mad at her for the mess she made with my make up because she was so sad. I told her I'd help her get it off but I wanted to take a picture 1st. She totally didn't want to pose and was mad that I made her. So funny! (I loaded the pictures in the wrong order- the 1st one I took is on the bottom)

4 months old

Tessa with Bridget
Happy 4 months today! I tried to get her to smile, but she was too distracted by the camera.

Just a few hours old

1St picture ever taken- yes, she had a lot of that white stuff on her.

Tessa is 4 months old today. Time sure goes by fast. I wish the times I'm pregnant went as fast as the time after the baby is born. Tessa is such a sweet baby and we are so lucky to have her in our family. She has such a sweet happy personality. Really, she is so good. I'm really amazed at how good and easy she is and keep wondering when it's going to end. Hopefully this is just how she always is. She has by far been my easiest baby. When she was 2 months old she slept 7 hours straight at night. My other girls didn't go that long until they were about a year. She doesn't consistantly go that long, but will on occasion do it. But she always gives me a good 4 hour stretch at least. During the day she is just so happy most of the time. Bridget loves to entertain her and she puts up with it well. Occasionally she gets kicked in the head or something like that by her well meaning sister and she's such a good sport. Tessa is at such a fun age and loves to coo and giggle and loves it even more when someone gives her attention. I love my baby Tessa!

A nice day

Today has been a nice day other than that I'm getting sick. I think I might have caught the cold that started Tessa's problems, or maybe not, but I'm sick anyway and I hate it. I know this sounds selfish, but although I really hate when my kids are sick, I hate it even more when I'm sick.
The day started out really nice because I got a massage. It was one with hot rocks. I know that sounds like it would hurt, but it really felt great. The chiropractor that I go to uses massage as part of the treatment he gives and I'm so not complaining. This is my 2nd massage in 8 days. So nice!
At noon there was a bridal shower for my cousins fiance. It was so fun to see different family members that I rarely see (even though some of them live only 1 or 2 streets away). When I got back Jess went dirt bike riding. I know, weird. Who in their right mind would want to put on long sleeves, long pants and a helmet and ride in the desert that's 110 degrees? He loves it though, for some reason. Tomorrow not much going on except for church.

Serving or Helping? What are you doing?

I loved this article that Kristi B. had on her blog. Let me know your thoughts on it.
In the Service of Life
Rachel Naomi Remen
In recent years the question how can I help? has become meaningful to many people. But perhaps there is a deeper question we might consider. Perhaps the real question is not how can I help? but how can I serve?

Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality; it is not a relationship between equals. When you help you use your own strength to help those of lesser strength. If I'm attentive to what's going on inside of me when I'm helping, I find that I'm always helping someone who's not as strong as I am, who is needier than I am. People feel this inequality. When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity and wholeness. When I help I am very aware of my own strength. But we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all of our experiences. Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our darkness can serve. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals.

Helping incurs debt. When you help someone they owe you one. But serving, like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.

Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person I perceive them as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I fix I do not see the wholeness in the other person or trust the integrity of the life in them. When I serve I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am responding to and collaborating with.

There is distance between ourselves and whatever or whomever we are fixing. Fixing is a form of judgment. All judgment creates distance, a disconnection, an experience of difference. In fixing there is an inequality of expertise that can easily become a moral distance. We cannot serve at a distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that which we are willing to touch. This is Mother Teresa's basic message. We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.

If helping is an experience of strength, fixing is an experience of mastery and expertise. Service, on the other hand, is an experience of mystery, surrender and awe. A fixer has the illusion of being causal. A server knows that he or she is being used and has a willingness to be used in the service of something greater, something essentially unknown. Fixing and helping are very personal; they are very particular, concrete and specific. We fix and help many different things in our lifetimes, but when we serve we are always serving the same thing. Everyone who has ever served through the history of time serves the same thing. We are servers of the wholeness and mystery in life.

The bottom line, of course, is that we can fix without serving. And we can help without serving. And we can serve without fixing or helping. I think I would go so far as to say that fixing and helping may often be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul. They may look similar if you're watching from the outside, but the inner experience is different. The outcome is often different, too.

Our service serves us as well as others. That which uses us strengthens us. Over time, fixing and helping are draining, depleting. Over time we burn out. Service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will sustain us.

Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. Fundamentally, helping, fixing and service are ways of seeing life. When you help you see life as weak, when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Lastly, fixing and helping are the basis of curing, but not of healing. In 40 years of chronic illness I have been helped by many people and fixed by a great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service heals.

Reprinted from Noetic Sciences Review, Spring 1996

What a difference

What a difference 24 hours and antibiotics makes! Tessa is feeling so much better and back to her sweet smiley self. I'm so thankful that I live in a time and place where I can get medicine.

Bridget's first day of preschool

I'm going to have to try and get a little more creative with my title's, but until I find that creativity I'll just have to be matter of fact.

On Tuesday Bridget started preschool at Orange Patch preschool. The teachers are 2 moms for the area (Tingey girls) and one was a teacher before she had kids. They do it at the sisters house who lives one street away from me. How nice is that! When the weather cools off I'll be able to walk her to and from school and in the mean time if Tessa is sleeping I can just run there and back in about 2 minutes in my car. (don't tell anyone that I said that.) Bridget was so excited to start school. We had a big build up to it the past few weeks as she had to be potty trained in order to go to school and although she has been completely capable for the past few months, she just didn't have the motivation. She's done great using the potty and really hasn't had many accidents (just a few by the toilet because she couldn't get on fast enough), but on the way home from preschool she had an accident in my car. Yes, you heard that- in the one minute drive home she had an accident. I was so bugged because that one little accident caused me about an hour worth of work trying to get it cleaned out of the seat of my car. I've been wanting a new car for the past few months, but was really glad that I still had my old one when that happened.

As far as preschool went- she loved it! When I picked her up her teacher said that she cracked them up the whole time. She's quite the ham! Bridget keeps reminding me how big she is getting and she sure has an independent personality. She wants to do everything herself. Yesterday she was talking about how she could do something because she was big and she jumped off the couch and stood up and said, "see mom, look how long my legs are." The funny thing about that statement is that she takes after me in the height department and really has short stubby legs.

Tessa was sick the past 2 days and I took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon. She has an ear infection and pink eye. Who knows where that came from?! The doctor got her all set up with medicine (I hate that she has to take antibiotics so young). She did a little better sleeping last night because he also gave me an RX for numbing drops to put in her ear. I wish I'd had those for all my other kids ear infections over the years. They worked great and I could tell they helped her out a lot.

(I can't figure out how to move my pictures around to be in proper order. The first one is of my sick baby, Tessa. The next one is of Bridget on her 1st day of preschool.)

My first post...that didn't work

below is the 1st post I tried to do on Sunday night that didn't work. thanks to Kristen for setting me up a new account and getting me started.

Hope this works.....
Hope this works..... I've been reading blogs for a while now- ever since Christina started hers and I just love it when people post. I've been meaning to start my own for awhile now and Kristen even helped me set up an account last February and I completly forgot about it until just a few days ago when I tried to create a new account and they said I already had one. Oops. As I'm typing this I don't even know if it will work, but if it does I'll be finally jumping on the blogging bandwagon. It will be a good way to keep a journal because I'm so bad about that. Today has been a typical sunday... We had church from 12:30-3:30 and then I had my temple recommend interview after church (yes, I passed). When we got home Jess made it into bed and asleep before I even knew what was going on- no fair! I cooked dinner while jess and tessa slept and the other girls played. In the evening we just hung out and then read to the girls before they went to bed. (Except for bridget- she's awake as I write this- such a night owl). For Labor Day tomorrow Jess is going dirt bike riding. He is such a little kid about going riding. He gets giddy. I worry that he'll get hurt and I sure hope he doesn't, but I think it would be sad if he didn't have this to look forward to because he loves it so much. Well, that's it for now.... I'll try to post a few pictures and do that "about me" section if I can figure it out.draftby melissa's life9/2/07

My first post...

Here are some pictures of the kids this summer!

The first one is of Uncle Ryan with the cousins and the second one is of Jess and the twins.