invisible to the eye

No art can make it: it must spring
Where elements are fostering.
So in heaven's spot and hour
Springs the little native flower,
Downward root and upward eye,
Shapen by the earth and sky.

George Eliot, Middlemarch

thus these elements give birth to a network delicately spun despite the westerly wind, each silver thread bound one to another.
such will be the culmination of events that leads us to our final place, a position ordained before time, etched in the palm of someone's hand.

no time no time no time no time

you'd think I'd find reasons not to moan those two perennially fatal syllables.
since it's the holidays.
but after pushing back, and back, dates with Jen, Dre, Eddie, James, Shi, Stel, Ju, Az, Hakim, Mag, Krys, mum, I wanna pull my hair out and multiply (myself, not my hair) so I can spend time with my dearly cherished friends.

'cos you're all I want, you're all I need
you're everything, everything

fill

A dark place
Small, unreachable
By foot
Yet not feet away

One corner, empty
Air of chill, still
Hardened walls
Pulsing within without

Begging
Oh great light of the world
Come to impart
The light of your grace
To fill up my heart

written 21 August 2005

If a picture...

the judges....(from left to right: dick lee with his ambiguous sarcasm, paula abdul, kind and encouraging, simon cowell: bitingly funny!)

...and the fans 

my bro. and I shopping....we're trying to hide the junk food behind all the essentials... 

Slowly but surely....we'll all reach your age Matt! 

Gracie's all grown up! The birthday girl, the IJ gang plus plus 

Dee Tee: I'll have to be in church on Monday. anything I can do online? not sure if u're awake after Lor LK today, but I'll msg u tmr.

btw, on (ex)IJ-girls ...how did you know? It's true though *grinz*

Shi: when u going Great Wall of Cheena?

yup we'll meet when u return with presents for all of us *double grinz*

Cheryl: It's ok, when Robin sets up YAM we'll get more chances to slosh in mud together!

wheeeeeeeeee

G
lea
grow
learn lea
growOgrow g
learn learn learn
grow grow grow grow
learn learnDlearn learn le

I've just built a diagram representing my present view of life.

til blue in the face

can't sleep til late. again.
maybe it's my own fault. addictions, addictions.
even to the little-est things can wear the gears, speed up the clock, slow nature. so sayonara, aloha, adios, good riddance.

today I learnt: understanding that 'I' am not the only insecure person in the room opens the eyes to see. believing the next person has more to think about than how 'I' look or dress readies the ears to listen. knowing that each of us has the love of our maker opens the heart and frees it from self-consciousness. praying for another makes me a ready instrument for Him.

I had a wonderful time with Kevin, Lynette, Poon and Matt at Chomp Chomp and Coffee Bean this evening. It was after Prog. mtg., and Kevin (aka the driver who got his license in 2.5 months and we still don't know how he got it. we always put on our seat belts in his car) drove us to Serangoon Gardens for the famous tau huay. It was a night of terror-wrist-scheming-at-the-next-table-role-play and nurse jokes (poor lynette). Thanks to Kev though, 'cos we all got home faster than if we took the SBS. much faster.

last Saturday was: Pulau Ubin. To commemorate the group's 7th birthday. I must credit it for reviving my enjoyment of trekking. Robin and I even decided all YLM meetings henceforth shall be to nature reserves. Youth Adventure Ministry.

It was raining, and contrary to common belief that rain spoils a day out, I believe we actually had more fun because of it! The trekking group (those who bravely decided to face the forest without bikes *pbbbt*) were ready with their rain gear when the pouring began: Stella with the ground sheet tied around her shoulders to form a cape, and an umbrella in hand, Edward the same 'crabbed' around his shoulders, but with a cap, Matt in an oversized no. 4 and a matching soldier hat, Esper in her national day kapo-ed poncho (which gave way half -way, lousy plastic), Robin with his bright red umbrella, and me with my broken umbrella, with half of the spokes sticking out without cloth attached. weeeeeeeee! time to join NCC.

We had a great time sharing lunches, all 12 of us taking a bite and passing it on, and wading in the thick slushy mud of Chek Jawa (the marshy swamp that leads out to sea), plus the trekking group got a 'tour' of an old abandoned house, passed by the village chief's house (he's nearly a hundred years old) and caught glimpses of the fenced-off quarry (with eerie stories from Robin and Edward to boot).

A yummy dinner at Changi Village when we got back to mainland: Van, Stefan, Esper, Ant and I shared a good meal of BBQ seafood! I learnt how to pluck out gong-gong (shi-fu van and shi-fu ant)! believe it or not, it was my second encounter with the shell-fish.

*note: must get pictures from the biking group too