And have a little quiet time away,
And freeze my arse off here...
Yay~!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Getaway...
I am looking forward to the weekend...
To get away from the big smog.
And have a little quiet time away,
And freeze my arse off here...
Two more sleeps....
Yay~!
And have a little quiet time away,
And freeze my arse off here...
Yay~!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Random musings...
I had a long day at work today, but came home feeling accomplished :)
Today has been a good day...
Really lovely colleagues, and lots to learn.
Finally feeling comfortable and at ease being in the unit,
Dripping little premi's and doing procedures on them tiny little things.
Came home and unwinded to NCIS, and facebook browsing,
When I came across this...
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A Christ-centered marriage is a marriage that is sure to last a lifetime.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
A Christ-centered marriage is a marriage that is sure to last a lifetime.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.
By Stephanie Hamilton
-------------------------------------------
I couldn't help but to shed a little tear....
Learn to appreciate what you have, before they're gone.
Because there are certain things in life, That don't come twice.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I wanna be a taitai (not)~!
It was a rare occasion that Addy and I had a day off together at the start of the week (yes, Monday!). We decided to head to the city for some hearty breakfast and also to soak up some sun :)
Hey, it's not everyday that we get to enjoy the "taitai" lifestyle, you know?!
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
~Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~
____________________
Looks YUMS huh?? Jealous much?? While you're slaving away at work on a blue Monday morning, we were sipping lattes and enjoying our bacon and eggs.... Kekeke.
(Btw, I just realised that my outfit looked very much like the Malaysian primary school uniform!)
Oh the life :) Hehehe.
Well, not really... We were actually in the city to attend an interview for a training position for the 2011 medical year. I reckon we sooo deserve to pamper ourselves a little after the stressful interview!! The questions were tricky, and frankly.... rather unexpected.
But oh well, I decided not to think too much about it, since it was over anyway... and there was nothing I could do at that point. So why not enjoy the rest of the day with a little comfort food, and alot of shopping?! Hahahahhaha....
It's not everyday that you can justify spending money and not feeling guilty :P
Well, actually, we didn't really buy much. I think we bought hosiery as they were on sale.... and that was pretty much it, wasn't it?? Oh, and I replenished my diminishing supply of cosmetics at home (essential!).
I did buy a pair of G-Star Raw boots the following week, but that was for a separate reason - to celebrate getting a highly anticipated e-mail in my inbox.
I got in :D
I got in :D
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
~Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.~
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Second chances
I believe that second chances don't come by everyday.
And frankly, not everyone deserve them anyway.
But I always told myself, that if someone realizes his/her mistakes,
and sincerely repents -
then he/her deserves a second chance.
Purely because nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes.
But the courage comes in admitting your mistakes,
and vowing to do better in the future.
I have done wrong in the past,
And someone gave ME a second chance.
And I,
Shall do the same for someone else as well.
If it works out, I know we will cherish each other more after the 'storm',
If it doesn't, then we both know that we have given our very best...
I am not afraid to try.
Yet, I am not afraid to let things take its own course.
Because sometimes, the harder you try to hang on to something,
The quicker they slip away...
Oh, the irony...
(Ps: Just felt like camwhoring and showing off my new hair, but the colour didn't quite show. Fail~!)
And frankly, not everyone deserve them anyway.
But I always told myself, that if someone realizes his/her mistakes,
and sincerely repents -
then he/her deserves a second chance.
Purely because nobody is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes.
But the courage comes in admitting your mistakes,
and vowing to do better in the future.
I have done wrong in the past,
And someone gave ME a second chance.
And I,
Shall do the same for someone else as well.
If it works out, I know we will cherish each other more after the 'storm',
If it doesn't, then we both know that we have given our very best...
I am not afraid to try.
Yet, I am not afraid to let things take its own course.
Because sometimes, the harder you try to hang on to something,
The quicker they slip away...
Oh, the irony...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Baw Baw Day Trip
Jonathan and I decided to take an impromptu trip to the snow last weekend. Something we used to do every year. Just kinda decide the day before, go get our boards ready, and up to the slopes we go!
This year, we were both a little lazy, because the snow season had a really unpromising start. We didn't want to drive too far away, just in case the snow is crap...
So we ended up taking a day trip up to Mount Baw Baw.
The drive wasn't quite as long as going to Mt Buller, Hotham, or Falls Creek, but the windy bits were quite long... and knowing that I don't travel well for extended distances, I equpped myself with "travel calm ginger tablets".
Pops about 3 of those on the way up :) tee hee...
It took about 2 hours to get to the village from my place. Pretty good if you asked me! We arrived at about 8.30 am, and some of the lifts weren't even opened yet!
First impression is, I really like this place :) Not quite as busy as Buller, and very family friendly. Everything is within walking distance, and quite well sign-posted. No to-ing and fro-ing to find something or some place...
Being the early birds, we got to enjoy the fresh snow on the newly groomed runs :) I love having the first carve~! Such a luxury...
Thought I was going to feel foreign on the board, given the fact that I haven't boarded at all this season... but it turned out fine :) No, actually, I turned out pretty good!! Hahaha.
Taking a break after a few runs.
It wasn't the runs that were tiring. It was holding on to the Poma's and T bars which were really taking it out of me... My arms were a little exhausted after awhile...
Jon said I really ought to relax a little bit!! Haha.
Well, the good thing is, I still haven't lost my touch :) and feel of the board...
Jonny boy on his banana board...
Had lunch at Kelly's Cafe at around noon...
Love the rustic feel of this place.
Mei was extremely excited about the giant chicken dimsim~!
Yups, that was a piece of dimsim... the size of a pau! Crazy huh??
Taking a breather after lunch and enjoying the view and serenity of this place... until it got busy in the afternoon.
The place was starting to get filled up with family and little kids in the afternoon. I guess it was probably a good thing that we arrived early and got the first cut of the slopes :)
We headed home early as we've covered all the slopes within like... 3 hours max.
My recommendation: Good for beginners, or first timers who want to have a feel of the snow, but after awhile, there is really not much left for us to explore. Good for chilling in front of a fireplace, with a good book and a hot cuppa tea...
Great place to bring your little family to... But really, not for hardcore snow bunnies... We even contemplated toboganning for awhile, but decided against it, when we found out that we had to pay more than 30 dollars each including deposit.
Really?? For a piece of plastic?! Thanks, but no thanks.
So, our warm-up trip to the snow was really quite enjoyable... but if I really wanted to board my heart out, I would probably head some place else.
Would definitely go back to Baw Baw someday though :) Perhaps, with Amira or my family... for some snow play and toboggan fun!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Having gone private...
Some days, I think to myself if what happened a couple of months ago was indeed real?
The storm has settled and life seems to have resumed...
Some days, I wake up and can hardly remember that it all happened.
But on the flip side,
I look back...
And I smile to myself,
Looking at how far I have come,
And how much I have achieved over the last few months.
It is true they say,
No matter how bad the situation,
There is always something good to learn from it :)
You just have to look hard enough...
I. am. proud.
Of what I am,
Of who I have become...
The storm has settled and life seems to have resumed...
Some days, I wake up and can hardly remember that it all happened.
But on the flip side,
I look back...
And I smile to myself,
Looking at how far I have come,
And how much I have achieved over the last few months.
It is true they say,
No matter how bad the situation,
There is always something good to learn from it :)
You just have to look hard enough...
I. am. proud.
Of what I am,
Of who I have become...
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Reminisce
So much has happened this year. It never really hits, until we reminisce about it, because we usually get so stuck in prodding along, moving forward, pushing hard that we barely have time to sit down and take a look at how far we have come, from the point we thought was the end.
Yong Shen, a friend whom I have known for a decade now... was down in Melbourne last weekend, and we managed to do a little trio catch up :) over dinner and drinks.
Yong Shen, whom I thought is looking more prosperous now :) Kekeke.... and he's certainly grown and matured over the years. Some things change, and some things, never do.... He still wanted to eat at Dessert House!! Hahahaha...
He just couldn't resist their infamous spicy, crispy chicken... Well, I couldn't as well... It's like everytime we come, someone HAS to order this dish to make the trip worthwhile.
Karen joined us too, as she was the only one around. The rest of the gang were all interstate for their FRACP examinations. Bad timing I suppose. It's certainly been awhile since the whole gang got together for a proper catch up.
Mei & Yong Shen :)
After dinner, we adjourned for coffee and desserts. Yong Shen wanted to try the new Lindt Cafe on Collins Street, but too bad for him, the place doesn't open at night.
We actually walked all the way to Collins just to find that it's closed. So we ended up at Brunetti's along Collins & Swanston for some cakes and coffee.
Yumminess to my tummy :)
Karen didn't want anything too chocolatey, so we opted for fruits tarts instead.
Mei & Karen @ Brunetti's
I dropped Yong Shen off at the hotel later that night and went home. I wonder when's the next time I will get to see everyone as a group again. I certainly do miss our weekly Friday night dinners.
It's been an awesome, chilled night catching up with each other's lifes, reminiscing the good old carefree times, and also discussing our future :) It almost feels like it was just yesterday, when we were all students in uni.
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