Overcharged with emotions

.

I am,

Twirling around in circles...

Do I really wanna dance this dance?

Or really, am I getting too old for this?

.

The steps are,

Oh so familiar,

But the grounds,

Too foreign...

.

Will we get anywhere in the end?

Will this be detrimental to my health?

I don't know...

But I love you too much to stop now.

.

I hate...

Being on the outside,

Looking in...

I don't want to. I can't.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.

On a totally separate subject, I'm leaving for Singapore today! Will still be roaming with my Malaysian number, so do drop me an sms if anything. But I probably will not answer calls! :D Just too expensive. And besides, I'll be getting a prepaid pack while I'm there :)

**Mei waves goodbye, while dreading the journey**

Partyyyyy

.

A "MUST" when you're in KL...

Party!!!

Went to Poppy Garden on Friday night,

and saw half on KL there...

OK, I'm exagerating, but you get the picture yeah?

In the car, with David, Mei, TeeChing, Pabrin

Kit, MayYee, LiLing, Mei, Kit's fren (sorry, I didn't catch your name) , Kit

The girls! (Pabrin, Juliana, Rosalind, Mei, ChuiEe)

Li Ling, Shiew, Mei

Edmund, Shiew, Mei (Melbourne, Reunite!!)

The ex-IMUians @ an IMU-ian (David, Mia, Mei, TeeChing, Chui Ee, Pabrin)

Mei, Huei Yee, Shiew, and Boozeeee

Elaine, Jaime, Mei

BB Gals Galore ( KitYee, MayYee, Mei, LiLing, Shiew, Joee)

Juliana, Mei, Shiew

More pics to come, if I'm not too lazy to resize and load them. I'm on dial-up at the moment, so don't get your hopes too high :D

It was certainly great seeing everyone again! But if I haven't had the chance to meet up with you, then Zouk tonight yeah?

Woohoo! Mambo, here I come! Wheeeee!

Merry Christmas!

.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

.

I'm not greedy...

All I wanted for Christmas,

Was one present,

A special gift, that means alot to me...

.

Thank you,

From the bottom of my heart,

For making this Christmas,

A truly memorable one.

.

Absolutely Unforgetable...

Could It?

.

I was uncertain and scared before I got back... Not knowing how it's all gonna be when I get home. Not knowing what's to become of us. Afraid that I'll be disappointed, for yes, I am hoping... always have been. Never once, have I given up hope on us.

.

It's been a year since I last saw you. And that sense of familiarity has not changed one bit. Meeting you again really reminded me of our first time out. Our first date. We had Jap as well :)And being the klutz you are, you dropped food on the table too! *hehehe* Those were fun times. Memories are still very fresh in my head. Every little single detail. Everything felt so much the same, yet... too different.

.

I couldn't hold you in my sleep, couldn't hold your hands, couldn't kiss you... as much as I wanted to, still want to. I just can't anymore. But none-the-less, it was certainly great seeing you. Hugging you, and smelling your fragrance, couldn't help but to bring tears to my eyes.

.

As silly as it sounds, I trust that you understand how I feel deep down. For it showed. It showed on your face, the way you spoke to me, that I am still important to you, that I am still loved by you, perhaps in ways that you yourself can't understand, or comprehend.

.

What the future brings, I do not know. But what I do know is... I'm still here. I've not given up one bit. It's stupid, I know... and nobody agrees with my action. But being the stubborn girl that you always knew... nothing nobody says can change my decision.

.

Nothing may ever happen between us, I don't know. But if that's the case, then perhaps I'm destined to grow old alone. Maybe it's the consequence of my actions, for having let go of someone so dear to me. Someone I love so furiously, so endlessly...

.

The answers to your question "why?"

.

I was silly, I was stupid...

I was young, I was lonely,

I was wrong, I was a bad person,

I took things for granted.
I took you for granted.

And I, am truly sorry for all the wrong's I've done...

.

But,

I still love you.

And I still do want you.

I am,

right here waiting...

Willing to right the wrongs,

and am willing to use this lifetime,

To find the answer...

.

"Could it have been me all along?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dedicated to someone who doesn't even read this blog.

On being home...

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Just a recap on what's been happening the past few days
.
Touched down on Tuesday night...
Went home for 30 mins, got changed, and headed out to The Loft, behind Sheraton Imperial...ho
Nice place, although it was on a Tuesday night! Totally random!
Who in the world goes out on tuesday? But it was good catching up with old friends.
Went for mamak after that... :D YUMMmm...
Got home @ 4 am.
Couldn't fall asleep, so started digging out old photo albums. Emo-ed for abit.
Went to bed @ 6 am.
.
Slept till noon on Wednesday.
Lazed around and unpacked some stuff...
Got TMY to book my flight back to Melbourne. :D
Thanks Ming Yen!
Had dinner with family and then headed out for yumcha with an old friend of mine.
** Girl, it was certainly great seeing you again! It's as if I've never been away, and we can just pick up from where-ever we left off **
Decided to call *him* and finally gained the courage to meet up for lunch on Thursday.
Went to bed anxious, excited, scared... arghh... indescribable.
.
Thursday...
Got up, got ready for my lunch with *him*.
Called for cabs for one friggin' hour before they actually got me cab!
And f*$^! It had to be jammed, when I'm in so much hurry to get down to the city!
STUPID!!! Cost me 15 bucks to get my ass down!
But trust me, it was all worth it.
Lunch was greatttt... **Thank YOU**
Had "tong-yuen" dinner with aunts and grandma :)
Then went mamak again... Hehehe...
.
Well, now that I'm back in KL, I don't feel like doing my electives in Singapore anymore! It feels so good being home. Although I hate the weather, hate the traffic jams, hate the blardee inconsiderate motorists, hate the "phew wit"s thrown by totally random uneducated trash of the society, but still... I love seeing my family... I love seeing you again, I love being back with all my friends, I love... HOME :)

Lakes Entrance

.

My last post before I get leave on the jetplane! *hahaha* or so I wish! But I am leaving though, only not by jet. :D

.

Will be heading home to Kuala Lumpur this arvo, so I'm doing my last-minute packing, and weighing, and *darn overweight!* unpacking, repacking, and re-weighing! What a tiring procedure!

.

Anyways, as promised, I am gonna post pics on my recent Lakes Entrance trip :D

.

Mei and Dad, @ a town called Sale :D

One of the spots attractive enough for us to make a pit-stop. Hehehe...

.

We drove 5 friggin' hours to get to Lakes Entrance! But when we got there, it seemed like the pain-stakingly longgg and dreadful drive was kinda worth it after all! The beach was just wonderful! The lakes, magnificent! The only thing that was not-so-great was the weather! Kept drizzling, and occasionally... pouring :( Damnit! It just had to rain on the day we got there!

.

But none-the-less, we still got to do some looking around, and snapping pics when the rain stopped... The view... truly breath-taking!

Fun, Dad & Mei @ the Surf Beach.

Fun & Mom @ the beach, where the sand was soft, and white... NICEEEE

Pelicans!!!!! :)

Made me feel like I was in the cartoon "Nemo" Kekeke! The only difference was, I was not in Sydney! *Hehehe*

We attempted to take a walk along the beach to get to the "entrance" of the lakes... where they exit to the sea :D But the walk was supposed to be 4 friggin' hours long... which means... it's gonna take at least 8 hours for us to get there, turn around, and come back...

Nope! We were definitely not game enough to do that... :D Walked for about erm erm... 30 mins max, and decided to turn back. Hehehe. Besides, we've got better things to do! Hehehe

Fun, Dad & Mei @ the footbridge, connecting the "lake" side of land, to the "sea" side of land...

Gosh, this is one badddd description! But I'm kinda in a hurry now, and can't seem to find better words to describe them. So yeah! You get the picture... *hehehe* I'd take up offers from anyone who had better descriptions.

Mom, Fun & Mei, with one of the beautiful tree trunk carvings along the Esplanade.

We headed to Buchan, which was about an hour's drive, for some "nature" watching, caving, and other "healthy" activities.

Visited the Royal Cave, which was truly one of the most beautiful caves I've ever seen! I can't even describe how pretty it was down there! Jaw-dropping, seriously!! The photo doesn't do it justice, really! It's like... wayyyyy nicer than what you see on the pic.

The Hanging Octopus-es.

And last but not least,

A picture of the "entrance" itself :) With us, of course... *hehehe*

All-in-all, Mei had a greaatttt time, and I strongly recommend going there, if you guys ever wanna head to some place nice.

Okay, gotta go eat lunch now! Leaving in less than an hour's time... :D Woohoo!!

The destination, at the end of the journey

.

Did I mention that the main purpose my parents are here in Melbourne this year, was to attend my dear sister's graduation ceremony? Although they do come to visit us every year, but somehow, this year is a little more special :)

.

Yes, after 3 whole years of constant burning of midnight oil, cooking and washing, fending for herself, being away from the comfort of being at home, having someone to do her ironing, etc etc. It has finally come to an end! At least her "seemed never-ending" hardwork has paid off!

.

Last week, we attended the conferring of her degree. A ceremony that marks the end of her study life... The destination, at the end of her journey, which marks the beginning of another.

.

Dad, Mei, The special star for the day and Mom

Sis & TMY // Melissa, Jacy, Sweet Ping, Sis // The graduants: Su-Zen, Shane, Sis, Paw Kee // Mei, Sis & Jack.

Post-ceremony, the graduants with their certificates : Tian-Tian, Sis, Shane, Su-Zen

After the super killer boring ceremony, we headed for light refreshments at the grand buffet hall! I tell you, free food has never tasted so good! Pretty much because my tummy was already grumbling when I was in the hall, and I was feeling light-headed. Blardee gonna faint cause of hypoglycaemia. Stupid me didn't have dinner before the longggg ceremony! :$

And oh, guess who I saw there?? One of my dearest, sweetest friend, May Jean! How could I have forgotten that her dear brother was graduating too! *Hehehe* Silly me, getting old...

Mei & May

Dear girl, still remember our tuition days, where all three of us (Mei Ling, May Jean, Mei Chin)used to turn to respond when anyone calls out "Mei/May"?!? *Hehehe*

And to my dear sister :

I'm so proud of ya... So happy that you made the decision to come to Melbourne Uni, although you were really contemplating how difficult your life was gonna be. But you didn't give up. Not once! You did it! :) Not for mom, dad, me, or your friends. You did it for yourself!

I still remember the day he asked you "Why did you decide to come to Melbourne?" And then he added "Never do this to follow your friends or anyone else. Do this for yourself".

And that, was exactly what you did! *HuGz*

Sorry

.

Sorry all, for the lack of updates.

Just got back from Lakes Entrance with my family...

Heaps of updates, and tonnes of pics.

.

Full details later yeah?

Need to pack, for I'm heading home tomorrow.

.

Exciteddddd, but scareddd... *confused*

Sand, Sea and Sex

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Been posting some pretty sad entries lately, I know... So, I decided to cheer myself up by going to the beach, and be by the water, hoping that the waves will wash away my sorrows.

.

And hopefully, the seabreeze will blow my pessimism away, and once again, carve a smile on my face. :) *Hehehe*

.

I have always been a big fan of the sea even since I was little. Somehow, the sea never fails to give me this sense of calamity, peace, serenity...

.

With Fun & Mom @ St. Kilda Beach

.

The wind was so strong, we nearly got blown away... *Hehehe*

@ Port Melbourne, where the Spirit of Tasmania docks :)

Headed to Geelong the next day. It's a really pretty place. Only an hour away from Melbourne, but it feels as if you're away from all the hustle-bustle of the city. A really good place to be if you ever need to escape from stress. Geelong, A city that almost became the capital of Victoria... Faces the bay. Absolutely awesome!

I wouldn't mind living there :)

Mei conducting the "Geelong Orchestra" *Tee hee hee*

Cuties in a row *Muargahahaha* // Mei with one of the items in her wishlist // By the beach, with "Miss Geelong" contestants // Mommy, Daddy and Mei.

We also found in the map that there is a waterfall not too far from Geelong city. Dad decided that we should have our little picnic there.

So after half an hour of tiresome navigation, we finally got there...

Mei @ Barkly Falls :D

The waterfall flows into Barwon River, one of the famous rivers around that area. The place was realllyyyy pretty. Very protected, and secluded. Not commercialised at all... no crowd! I likeeee... We were even lucky enough to be able to bird watch!

One of the birds that we manage to capture. The rest were pretty blur, due to my amateur photo taking skills. *giggles* // A view of Barwon River.

Mei, Mom and Dad @ Barkly Falls

AaHhhH... Niceee... Had a pretty good time, just chilling. Being one with the sand and sea. All that's missing is sex by the beach... The 3s' that sends you to heaven without having to die! :D *Teeheehee*

Oh, I'll be attending my sister's graduation ceremony tomorrow! And I still can't decide which dress to wear! Darn! Stress... Kekeke. If only everyday stresses revolves around that kinda issue :)

Here I come!!

.Muargahahaha!

Geelong, Here I come!

Full update later :)

Damn f-king tired now.

Pics to come soon... *hehehe* Muax.

Choices we make

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I was bored so I went blog surfing, and suddenly, something caught my eye. I don't quite know what exactly it was, but I read the whole entry.
.
It was about making choices. Picking one man over the other. She picked the one that was right beside her, over the one that was miles and miles away. Which seem to be a choice that many will make. The easy way out...
.
But as time goes by, things unfolded... and she realised that she made a mistake. However, you don't really realise the gravity of your mistake until you see them again. To see "him" again.
.
It's really difficult to put into words how I really felt upon reading that entry. For it really spoke my mind, my uncertainty, my fear. Of being home, seeing him again. As the day draws nearer, the thought resurfaces in increased frequency.
.
I am thrilled, crazily excited of going home, but at the same time, I know that I'm gonna be flooded with reminders of him, of what could have been. Countless memories, in too many places. And I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for that. Don't know if I'll ever be.
.
A year ago, we parted and went separate ways. But the thing is, he went a separate way, and I, never really went anywhere... Now that it's time to go back home, I can't help but to realise how much I'm not over this, how much I'm still affected by it all. I was wrong then. I should have been more patient, more understanding. I should have stuck by him, and not be a fair-weathered girlfriend.
.
Good men are rare to find these days. And I, missed out on a really good one.
.
And all I can do now, is to wish that he's happy. Eventhough I might not be part of his happiness. I wish I could be easier on myself, for it's been a long time since. But really, I'm still trying to find it somewhere in me, the ability to forgive myself.
.
And I know that someone might be affected after reading this entry. But all I can say is, "I'm sorry. Truly am." "But really, I'm not good enough for you. I don't deserve you. I tried. Really did. But I can't." You deserve someone who loves you back the same. Being with someone who doesn't love you back, is way lonelier than being alone.
.
Perhaps, I'm destined to be alone. For the mistakes I've made. For all the wrongs in my life. Is this really the consequence I've got to face, for having made those choices? Only time will tell.
.
Someone once told me, "What's meant to be, will be."
.
I know this is a sad post, but I do want to be able to look back years from now. And remember that I once vowed that I'm a changed person. And I wanna do right, I wanna be right. That I am, a new me.
.
Besides, the best things in life, are always worth waiting for, right?

Ballarat trip

.

We decided to do some travelling after a few days of vegetating at home. Dad was practically gathering moss, and wanted to call MAS to get an earlier flight home! Kakaka... All the shopping really doesn't interest him... the summer sales are only making mom beam with excitement.

.

So, we tried pacifying him by driving the family to Ballarat, Sovereign Hill.

.

The family @ Sovereign Hill

.

Just us @ Ballarat, the famous mining town of Australia.

Dad, Sis on wheels, Mom // Sis, the maiden, Mom // Dad with horsey, Chubby Mei, Mom // The three of us :)

Left, Left, Left-right-left // The maiden with her embroidery work // The rider // Us, having a go at gold mining.

It was a good day. Fine and sunny, but a tad too hot for my liking! And freaking hell, I was in boots, for I didn't wanna dirty my feet and all. Wanted the "cowgirl" look... But darn! It was so hot, that I was practically grilling under the sun!

And like I said earlier, I'm probably 7 shades darker now! Boohoo! Gotta pamper myself with heaps of whitening cream now. But sigh, planning to make a day trip to Geelong tomorrow! Not good. Being by the sea and all... sigh, just gonna get tanner.

But none-the-less, it was fun. Kinda feel like being back in the olden times. *Hehehe* Now I just need to get myself a corsett top, and one of those puffy skirts!

Bleh! :P

** Click on collages to enlarge. I just realised they're kinda small, but I'm too lazy to resize. Sowee **

Sovereign Hill

. @ Sovereign Hill :D

.

Damnit... I'm like 7 shades darker now!

It was so freaking sunny...

.

Too lazy to type now.

Full update later k?

Going out :D

.

*Mei waves Tata*

Random Thought

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I wish...
.
To leave this world a better place,
than when I first arrived...

A Nite to Remember!

.

Exams are over, for everyone... so it's something worth celebrating... But there's something even MORE worth celebrating... A dear friend/groupmate of mine is getting married soon, so we decided to throw her a bachelorette's party/hens' nite out :D

.

Well, being us, we were of course very diplomatic about the whole thing, and asked her what she wanted, AND DIDN'T want... And she specified that she didn't want no stripper... *snicker snicker*

.

And THAT, was exactly what we got her! Muarghahaha! We're a mean bunch, Al dear. Sorry!

Dearest Alison, the bride-to-be.

.

Before the show, we had a nice dinner, and chatted for abit. Gave her a few drinks just to make her relax before we interrogated her with personal questions about her love life! Hahaha!

.

She of course didn't know that we were up to something! kekeke... It was not until we blind-folded and handcuffed her that she knew that something no good, this way comessss...

Poor bunny Alison, blind-folded and handcuffed, and put "on the spot". Not knowing what's awaiting her! Hehehe...

Then came our dear "policeman"! Woohoo.... HOT! He was damn buffed! Really toned and muscular! My My!!! Was really professional too. He definitely did a good job! :D Too bad I don't have any photos. Didn't think he'd allow us to snap pics of him, errr... naked. kekeke. But Whoo! I felt real hot after he "did his thang"

Alison & Mei

I think Alison was pretty traumatised, especially while blind folded. The anticipation must have killed! keke. But I bet she enjoyed the show! We all did :D Hahahaha!

The Austin gals - Candice, Alison & Mei

The Med Girls :D

Mei, Linsey, Jasmine, MingYin

It was definitely a memorable night! Dinner was good, stripper was yummy (sorry, i meant good), music was great, and the experience was priceless... Alison's my first close friend, who's getting married soon. I'm so happy for her! *hugz* It's a huge decision to make, to spend the rest of your life, with one person. To have this person to love and to hold, to cherish in good times and bad... till death do them part.

The whole lot!

She said one thing that I really, really agree to. "Never marry someone because you've been together for a long time, and it just seems like it's the right thing to do. Marry him because you're head over heels, passionately in love with him... and you know that he's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with."

Very true indeed. And Alison, I'm so happy for you, that you've found your "someone". To the world, he may just be someone, but to you, he's THE one!

Dear, I can't wait for the wedding! Woohoo! My best wishes to you both! *muax*

It Shouldn't

.

It shouldn't hurt if it didn't matter.

It's just not right.

I don't feel right.

And I hate myself for feeling this way,

I hate being a hypocrite,

Pretending to be okay,

to be unaffected,

But deep down,

I'm one jealous bitch.

.

Hope is the worst of all evil, for it prolongs the torment of men

More...

.
More travelling... yeah rite! Went to Docklands, Victoria Harbour today, cause mom wanted to have a look, and dad wanted to relax. He's not really a big fan of shopping you see? He wanted to go to the beach, but St. Kilda's kinda crap, and we all woke up too late today to make it to Brighton Beach or Torquay. So, had to bring him to Docklands instead. At least pacify him a little and let him look at the sea. *giggles*
.
I'm too lazy to write, so I'm gonna let the pics do all the talking... *hehehe* So I'm lazy, sue me.

Mei with a piece of contemporary art

The family // Sis & Dad trying out the "exercise ball" // Mom, princess & Dad, and the West Gate Bridge // Sis & Mommy.

Headed to Myer to look at the windows display on the way back from Docklands, and oh my! Was the queue long!!! But it was kinda worth waiting for, cause the stuff were so cuteeee! And to top it off, we got souvenirs too :D *hehehe* I shall elaborate further when I've got the time... (do remind me)

The elves // Cute lill fairies // SantaKid on Santa's sleigh // The elves, the sleigh, the "bad guy"

I'm not the only choco-maniac in the family.

Mom was so excited hearing about the chocolate fondue at Max Brenner's that we ended up having chocolates for dinner! What the ?!? Dad bought like 3 bars of chocolates from Haigh's and lotsa other choccies... Heaps of Cadbury bars, 2 buckets of M & M's, Darrell Lea's and many more... I'm so gonna be FAT... like HUGE when I get home... damn!

Mom & Dad's all smiles // Our Max Brenner's HugMugz and the chocolate fondue for two // Sis and Mei with our Dark Chocolate drinks...yum! // The choco-maniac couple

All-in-all, we had heaps of chocolates today... Gosh, I'm starting to feel sick now... and shiats! I wonder how many hours of gym and tennis it's going to take... before I can fit myself into that nice lill dress... *kekeke*

Mei's off to exercise! *does the jumping-jack* Yeah rite!!!! Fat hopes! :P

A day around Melb

.
I was talking to Sam when he suddenly blurted...
.
Sam : I feel sorry for your parents man. There's really not much to do here in Melbourne.
Mei : They've been here several times so it's okay. They're not really here to do touristy stuff. Besides, mom's there to cook and clean for me. *snickers*
Sam : Oh man... Now I feel even more sorry for them.
Mei : o.O
.
So, to compensate for the "nothing touristy to do", sis and I have been bringing them to eat, eat... and eat some more. And erm, a little bit of visiting... *hehehe* . And here are some updates...

GELATI!!! :D

Sam thinks I'm a gelati addict, and should be given a PICC line so that I can get gelati infusion, to get a constant high! *hehehe* Worth considering huh?

Dad, Mei & Mom // Dad stealing sis' gelati, greedy sis & mom // Mei & Sweet Ping // Mei, Sis & Sweet Ping.

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Since it was a summer Wednesday... we decided to bring them to the Summer Night Market at Victoria Market. Just to look-see, and have dinner there. Besides, mom wanted to get souvenirs as well.

Mom, Mei & Dad, waiting for the city circle tram // Fun & Mom in front of the Royal Exhibition Building // Mei & Fun // Fun, Mom & Dad on board the tram.

Dinner was kinda yummy. Had fish and chips, pad thai, spanish seafood cazuela, and of course, not to be missed, Aussie's exotic meats. *hehehe* Had crocodile, emu, camel and kangaroo meat! Dad dared not touch the meat. Shouldn't have told him before! What a chee-kennn... *kekeke* I should have told him AFTER he gobbled down the meats... but, oh well *shrugs*

Dad & Fun seated in front of the band that was entertaining us for the night // Lantern deco at one of the stalls // Yummylicious glistening fresh cherries // Mei & Mom @ Night Market.

Headed home around 10pm as everyone was kinda exhausted after a longggg day of shopping. Oh, I conveniently forgot to mention that we were at DFO Essendon, shopping the whole day. *kekeke* (the shopaholic runs and hides).

Alritey, more updates once I finish editing the pics :D