Having Courage

It's been a long time since I blogged. And those who know me, know that I mostly blog when I am down. This space is like my "shrink". The sanctuary for me, to express my thoughts and feelings without being judged.... And wayyyy cheaper than a shrink I'm sure.

It was a big day today. It's been a huge fortnight actually. Not in a positive way too.

Today, I had a post-op surgical complication on one of my patients. When I found out that she needed to return to theatre, I was devastated. Filled with immense guilt and sadness. I lost my cool, and actually sobbed... Rather horridly. Uncontrollably.

But what got me through the rest of the day, was the fact that my team was sooo incredibly supportive about everything. My boss personally came in and proceeded to do the operation with me. My colleagues held my hands, and gave me big hugs - in attempts to console me. I really felt the support and love.

At that moment, I didn't care if I looked like a bad surgeon, or if I appeared incompetent. All I cared about what whether my patient was okay. Whether there was anything else I could do for me. I felt that I needed to do something to make her feel better... Anything.

But instead, SHE did the biggest thing to make ME feel better. She held my hand, and said to me "Don't beat yourself up. I know you didn't intend for this to happen". I thought to myself, how selfless of her. How could you be thinking of me as you are getting wheeled into theatre??

.....

I saw her again after the operation to debrief her. To let her know what happened and what we found. She looked much more comfortable.

She thanked me.... For saving her.

But little does she know, the reality is.... She saved me. But not losing faith in me. And for not letting me lost faith in myself.

Get well soon.

It's Been Too Long

Nobody writes blog posts anymore these days. I certainly haven't been writing. The space was originally created for me to voice the things that I haven't been able to say to some of the most cherished people in my life.

Today, I am writing again for the same reason.

Have you ever felt like you're somewhere so familiar, yet so unfamiliar? It's my first time coming home for Chinese New Year since I started working. I have almost forgotten what a huge event it is... The atmosphere, the fireworks, the ang pows, the countless mahjong and card games, the eating, visiting, and most importantly, the catching up.

I saw my first acrobatic lion dance performance of the decade. I went shopping with my family in a mall on Chinese New Year Eve, to buy new clothes - a little tradition that we grew up with. You're meant to wear new clothes on the first day of the new year! We had our own reunion dinner at home, just the four of us. We went visiting relatives on New Year's Day and I gave ang pows in KL for the first time.

I visited old friend who are now parents!

How life has changed and time has passed for all of us. But some things, some things remain. My dearest, oldest friends who have known me, and loved me despite and inspite of my flaws and imperfections. My friends who have been there for me through some of my happiest and lowest moments of yesteryears.

The past week has brought me back to a place long long time ago. A place filled with valuable memories. Memories and thoughts that perhaps, nobody else understands. A place called nostalgia.

It made me realise that, in order to achieve something... Sometimes, you have to sacrifice something back. And you may not realise exactly what that sacrifice is, until years or decades down the track. Perhaps then you'll look back and ask yourself, is it all worth it?

The Real Me

I normally post beautiful, fashionable things on my Instagram and on Facebook. Food, fashion, and other things I enjoy like nice clothes, shoes, holidays - but never anything deeper. Never anything more thought provoking… Because in my line of work, there's so much confidentiality issue that I can't really discuss my day, or how I feel on my Facebook, nor could I post too much information / pictures that reveal too much about the things I deal with at work on my Instagram. So over time, they have become an avenue of my fashion addiction.

But that is not the real me.

I would like to believe the real me has more substance - as I browse through old blog posts I have written. None of it is about fashion, or designer wear. It's because that's not why I do what I do. My love for my job and profession is not so I can go and buy nice things to make me feel fulfilled.

The real me is a lot deeper than that. I often reflect on my life and wonder if I am here for a greater purpose. And I am glad that although I'm no famous professor, my job allows me to touch peoples' lives everyday. Whether it's helping to bring their new bundle of joy to the world, keeping them alive so that they could see their loved ones, or sometimes, just being a shoulder to cry on… I believe that I am put into this world to do my job, and to do it well…. because even though I refer to it as my job, it's not it is. It is a huge part of me. It's who I am.

My husband said that I'm a giver. And I don't think he's too wrong about me. I always try to give my best in all that I do, because I enjoy seeing a smile on my patient's face at the end of it. Or a little thank you card with my name on it. It's wonderful to feel that sense of being appreciated. Whether it's at work, or at home.

I went on the "rampage" according to hubby, cleaning the house today. Because you know, how one thing leads to another - vacuuming, that led to changing all the sheets at home, that led to cleaning the bathroom, that led to doing the laundry etc etc. Hubby came home and gave me a huge hug, followed by a big THANK YOU, and now, he's preparing dinner :)

So even though my life hasn't been the cruisiest and easiest in the recent months, I'm thankful. I miss my family lots. I miss my grandma lots - to a point that sometimes, I still wake up from my dreams with tears in my eyes. I know I may not be the best in keeping in touch - emailing and making phone calls, but it doesn't mean that you guys are forgotten.

I love each and everyone of you with everything that I have, and I hope - every single day, that you guys are happy too.

Whether you're at home, on a holiday somewhere else, travelling the world, stuck at work till late, having a bad day sometimes, or even up in heaven…. wherever you may be - that you are happy too.

I miss all of you, every single day - but I just want to let you guys know, that I am happy. And that I will continue to work hard, and live my life, to make each and everyone of you proud.

The mighty pen

It's been a year since I penned anything down. This has almost become a forgotten space.
I guess with the busy lifestyle, we hardly find time nowadays to slow down, think, and pen down our thoughts.
But I seem to have a craving to write, or more like... a desire to blurt out my feelings, when I am studying.
Perhaps because I am up late at night - for I am a night owl when it comes to studying. I am NOT a morning person at all. In every sense of the word.
Somehow, the calm, still nights are when my imagination run wild, and I have this urge to pen them down.

As we approach D day, I really hope that I am going to pass this final hurdle in my journey to become a specialist. Those who know me, knows that I absolutely hate studying. I am more a "learn on the job" sort of person, but unfortunately, we've all got to play the game. And in today's society, qualifications are super important, for competition is so stiff, and it could be merely a piece of paper that separates you from another super qualified candidate.... Who knows?

I know I'm rambling.... but there's so much I wanna say - but can't string my thoughts together, because it's so fleeting.

I guess it's me freaking out before the big exams :(

And I miss popo going to the temple and praying for good luck for me.

Po

Dear Po,

It's been 6 months since you left us, to what I presume is a better place.

Not a single day go by, where I do not miss you. I still think about you a lot. The shocking diagnosis, to the way you left us so quickly. I guess, the only positive about it is, you didn't have to suffer for long.

Thinking back, there were so many instances that I should have pressed for more investigation to what was happening. You were already having some non-specific symptoms - but I guess, the question that I constantly ask myself is "Does it really change anything?"

The selfish part of me will always answer "YES!" - because we want to spend more time with you. We want you to be at our side forever. But, we're mere mortals - and forever, we do not live.

I always questioned - "Why didn't I bring you to see a doctor?" "Why didn't I press on investigation those symptoms??" "Was it a surgical complication that eventually took you, or was it merely a progression of the advanced disease?" I guess I'll never know.

But I guess it really doesn't matter - because the moment I saw you so peaceful in your sleep, I knew you wanted to go. I knew it was time. I was just glad that you waited for me to touch down, and gave me the opportunity to say goodbye before you left for good.

Po, I miss you so bad! I miss calling you, asking for recipes, I miss listening to your stories - even though in recent years, you kept repeating the same stories. They were still entertaining. I miss having you spend the night at our place. I miss giving you a foot rub, or a back rub while reminiscing the good old days.

Though I haven't lived with you in many years now, I just want to let you know that you've influenced my life in so so so many significant ways. I can still hear you saying specific phrases every time something happens - your sound advice.

I am so glad you were a big part of me growing up. I am so glad we got to go on family holidays together. I am so glad that you got to come to Australia to visit me, and see a little snippet of my life here. I am so glad that we drove you around, and went places. I am so glad I got to see your expression when you saw snow for the first time. I am so glad we got to share a snowfight experience with you. I am so glad you saw me start dating, and am so glad that you finally saw me marry the love of my life.

But Po, I am so glad that you are no longer suffering, nor in pain. I know you are at peace with everything, and that you'll always be watching over us. I am truly honoured to have been loved by you - and I just want to let you know, that you'll always always, be loved by me.

I MISS YOU SO BADLY. Somedays, more than others.

One of my all time favourites

Just wanted to share an old video,

made by one of my favourite production trio. 

On something close to heart...

And I think alot of you would relate to it too. 

Enjoy...

Count your blessings...

It's been a long time since I wrote anything. Most of my friends in the blogging world don't even blog anymore. I guess, as time goes by, people slowly drop off the bandwagon cause it soon became uncool... it wasn't the 'in' thing to do anymore as everyone hopped onto the Facebook and Twitter bandwagon. As for some, they felt like blogging for them, has lost its true meaning. They began to feel like they were blogging for an audience, as opposed to for themselves.

As for me... I have always told myself that I am not blogging for anyone else but me. That this little space has been my little online diary. A little space that I share with myself, and my closest friends... about the ups and downs of my life.

Every now and then, I still hop on... and re-read my oldest entries... to reflect, and reminisce. It never fails to tug heartstrings for me. As every single entry holds its own meaning... even the shortest ones that nobody else would understand. Those entries are the ones that more often than not, most significant and most important to me.

So here I am once again, caught the nostalgic bug... after 'speaking' to one of my old friends. Someone who was once a very important person in my life, way before I even started this blog. And yes, those who have been following me knows why I started blogging, and whom my posts were referring to at the beginning. But this, this precedes that. This friend was from a time way before that. This was my first serious relationship.

Getting back in touch with him (over FB) was a little reminder of what my life used to be like. How high school was for me... Those were my carefree days. As I was chatting with him, and uploading photos from my recent trip to KL for one of my oldest friend's wedding....

I got to thinking...

Of how much I've grown.
Of how much my life has changed (for better or worse).
Of how much I've missed out being abroad.
On old friendships... those that were fostered decades ago.
Those people who were once so important to me.
Have some, drifted... and have merely been reduced to being platonic friends.
Facebook friends whom you don't really talk to anymore.
Strangers even...

But then,
There are also some,
That no matter how far apart you are,
Or how seldom you see each other,
Would always remain important to you,
For your lives have once crossed, entwined.
For you have made memories...
Memories that would last you a lifetime.

These memories are like your favourite old song.
You forget the word sometimes...
But the tune lingers.
And when you play it again, the words just come back.

And it fills your heart...

Withdrawals

Perhaps being away from home has finally taken its toll on me. That, or the fact that I have been working the past 9 days in a row, (and 5 nights on call) and more to come... I am just completely exhausted.

Coupled with annoying hospital politics, and some people that I would very much rather not see. People with unrealistic expectations who think that I can perform multiple tasks at once, or be in multiple places at once...

I am just so over it. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

At this very moment, I hate my life. I hate feeling like I sold my soul to my job. I hate feeling like I can't be there for the ones I love and care about.

I just want to go home.
Home to comfort.
Home to familiarity.
Home to love.
Home to support (each other).
Just home, to where the heart is.

Not entirely forgotten

It's been a long time since I wrote anything. Perhaps it's because my life has been so busy recently, or perhaps, I just didn't know where to start cause I've kinda left this little space for such a long time... it's like, bumping into a friend after a long time, and not knowing what to say. And for a split second, you wonder to yourself, should I even say hi? But as you do, you may just realise that you've rekindled a beautiful friendship...

So here I am, feeling a little melancholic tonight... as I lie in bed alone, my thought pre-occupied with a thousand things... I decided to pen something down.

I have been living away from home the past couple of months. I am doing my rural stint now for my specialist training, and have been in a country town the past 4 months. The learning experience here is awesome, and the people are all so wonderful~! But the one thing that I really miss, is home. My boys at home.

I initially thought that the 6 months would go by real quick, and before I know it, I'd be reunited with my family. But instead, time has gone by so slowly... Some days, it feels like all I do is work, work, work. I almost never get to have my half day off, due to the lack of registrars. But more importantly, it feels like I have not spent quality time with my man for some time.

It's tough juggling work and family life, especially when I'm not at home. Some days, I feel like I'm failing as a wife. It's been ages since I made a meal for the family. Some days, I am so tired I don't even feel like making dinner for myself!

It feels like it's been forever since I last gave him a cuddle and a kiss, or received one myself (although it's really only been a fortnight - but it feels like eternity). I know he's been having it tough as work recently, as it's peak period now for the company, yet I feel so helpless cause I'm hours away.

There are moments where I feel like just jumping into the car, and driving home - just for that one special moment, where I will be standing at the door, waiting for him to come home, to be able to see that surprise on his face. And I have done it before, but age is catching up... and the long drive back, early in the morning, really gets me down.

I don't know if I will have any solution for it, except to whether the storm, and wait till the stint ends here (because it's really not all bad. The experience is priceless!). My head knows the logic, but sometimes, the mind feels so different. Some days, it does indeed feel like we're living separate lives. I may be on call the whole night after a whole day at work, and may not get to speak to him at all.

But I just want to let you know, dear... that I miss you too, just as you do. It is difficult for me too, being away from you. Sometimes, I miss 'us' so much that I cry myself to sleep, not knowing what to do.

It ain't easy, but I believe that what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. We've been through much worse before... and we've emerged from it all, stronger than before. I keep telling myself, that I'm on the home stretch now... and if we can get through this, we won't have to be apart anymore.

And coming home to be reunited again, would be sweeter than ever.

I. Miss. You......


So so much.

Loved and Lost

Kidney bean, I miss you...

Mrs Lee

Time certainly has flown.... It's been two months since my last post~! *gasps*
I am still alive, I promise.

As you might know, I've been really busy. Barely have time to breathe... what more to blog!

But with the two weddings over, I am back in Melbourne... resuming life...
As. Mrs. Lee :)

So this is my first post, as my new self (yet still the same me!)

Hello there~! :))

Hope you guys have been well. 

Will attempt to blog more regularly once things settle down... and we resume our routines. 

Much love, 

Mei

6 years

I almost forgot I had this space...
Without realising it, I have been blogging for 6 years now.
I know I haven't been the most diligent in penning down my thoughts recently.
It's just that, some days, I feel like I hardly have time to fill my tummy,
or just sit down and have a cuppa.

But today, over dinner with some friends,
Jon reminded me that I was once a 'popular blogger'.
OMG~! I can't believe that he even remembers that.
That all seems ages ago.
Those were the days when I used to blog almost everyday,
and had traffic to my blog, and followers leaving comments.
Gone are those days...

But what he really reminded me is that,
I will always have this little safe space,
for me to vent my frustrations,
for me to voice my emotions when I can't,
for me to pen down my thoughts....

So that in time to come,
on a day such as this,
I can read back on all my old posts,
and reminisce...
Some posts still echo in my heart.
Some still sting to the core,
And some, warm my soul and carve a smile on my face.

Reflect...
On all the good times, and bad.
The ups and downs on my roller coaster ride of life...

To remind myself, to continue writing.

Not for him, or her, or them...
But for me.

The day I lost my good friend, or perhaps... gained one.

I am on my run of night shift again. Sigh, the dreaded time of the month... a whole week of being on night duty, and sleeping during the day. A whole week of social isolation. The only thing to look forward to during this time, is of course.... the week off following the run of nights~! :) 6 down, 1 to go.... wheeeeeee~!

But that morning, I got an SMS from a good friend of mine, saying
" I got a training spot :) but it's in Sydney :( "

Took me awhile to register what that was about, because I was in the middle of my dream in lala-land when my phone beeped. And then I realised that my good friend got a position in the training program of her choice, after having a rather disappointing time. She had made some difficult, life changing decisions following the initial outcome. Some really brave decisions, I thought. I don't know if I would have the courage to do the same if I were in her shoes.

Ecstatic seeing the SMS, I immediately replied, asking " This is an exciting big step for you! You going? Whereabouts? Is XX relocating with you??"

Although only half awake, I had 20 million questions for her! I had so many things I wanted to know... How did she hear about the news the second time round? How is she feeling? What is she gonna do? When  is she leaving etc??

But it was only the day that I felt that, I was losing a good friend of mine... to the state of NSW :(

We went through med school together.
Did our internship together.
Went to our first country rotation together.
Went on trips together.
Decided to get into the same specialty.
Did our specialty diploma exams together.
Went for our training interview together...
And now, she will finally be in the same training program as me! :)
Together.... but not quite.

It's like... so close, yet so far...

I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. This good friend of mine, will no longer be "just around the corner".
I will not be able to ring her on a random day and go "Hey~! Whatcha doing? Let's go have lunch!"
"Hey, where are you? Come help me choose my wedding gown".

I will no longer have my pillar of strength. The person who drove all the way to my house, and brought me food when I was at my lowest. When I went through a rough patch with Jon, and felt like life wasn't worth living - she was there.

She was there for me when I didn't believe in myself. She was there for me to share the joy when I got accepted into training. She was there to share my joy when I got engaged. She was.... always there! Always have been.

That day that she told me she was taking up the position, and will be leaving the state, was the day that I felt like I've lost a good friend...

But then I sat down and got to thinking,

That I haven't actually lost her.

Because I'm truly happy for her.

I am happy that this position came to her after the intial disappointment. I am happy that she finally got what she deserves after having worked hard for it! I am happy that she has a supportive partner who is willing to move across the globe to be with her, to support her.

I am happy that she will have this opportunity to start a new life, and build a new home with him. I am excited for her, to embark in this adventure into the land of the unfamiliar.

Short term pain, for long term gain, my dear...

Ironically, it was only then... that I realised, that I haven't lost a friend, I have indeed gained one. Because I realised that I truly care about her, as a good friend.

And I guess, what I wanna say is that, no matter what decision she makes, I will be there for her, to support her every step of the way. We may not be able to just 'hang' on our off days, but I will always be there.

After all, I am only a phone call away, and if we're very lucky.... an hour plane ride on a $50 discount ticket.
:)


"Just follow your heart dear. There is no right or wrong decisions in the matter."

Countdown

6 weeks to go and counting~!!!
Crank the heat up, baybehhh...

Not all that reflects is glass

Tonight, as the night stars shine,
As I drown out the echoes from work,
The night appeared still, and knowing.
The silence... thought provoking.

I took this time alone at home...
To reflect on my life,
where I was a year ago,
and how far I have come since.

I learn that my past have made me strong.
I learn that everything happens for a reason.
I learn that from the bad, there is always something good.
That despite my weaknesses, I still have strength within,
That despite all my wrongs, I have done something right.
That despite all the darkness, I found a glimmer of light.

But most importantly,
I learnt the gift of giving...
Not only to others, but also to myself.
The gift of forgiveness.

Tonight, I told myself,
"It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself."

And just like that,
I found peace within me...
Knowing that I still have so much to give.

Swooninggg

Why wasn't this out yet when I bought my Speedy??

I am loving the long shoulder strap on the new Speedy Bandoulière :) 

Gives it such versatility~! And it's spacious in the bag too for practicality...

 

The only problem is, if I get it... I'll have too many bags that look similar... sigh. 

 Can't believe it only took them sooooo long to design this though~!

Oh well....

Just 'looking'. Can't afford to buy anything this year anyway, until the wedding's over... 

Can't. Blow. The. Budget. 

But oohhh, ain't it just so pretty??

Thanks

Sometimes, the smallest act of kindness and love, could mean the world to the person on the receiving end. After all. Life isn't about doing huge extraordinary things, but it's about doing little ordinary things everyday, extraordinarily...

Well, it was just another day for me. Been doing quite alot of planning and stuff recently because of the wedding, but really, most of the other things were pretty routine. Did the laundry, made dinner, and after that... Was just sitting in front of the tele, chilling and eating some cherries.

Out of the blue, he mentioned "You're the best. You're amazing".

That really caught me off guard that I went "huh??"

And he repeated himself, saying "You're amazing baby".

AaWwwWw... I was touched. I guess it was because I didn't feel like I was doing anything extra nice, or extra special today. It was just another ordinary day for me...

But I guess, the little things I did made it just abit more extraordinary for him... And him showing his appreciation when I least expected it, just made it a tad more extraordinary for me.

Thank you papa bear. You're the best too! *muah*

Million Paws Walk 2011

We were at Albert Park a couple of weeks ago (actually, it's almost 2 months now!) for the annual RSPCA Million Paws Walk.

Since I had the weekend off this year, I decided to give it a go, since my friends have always raved about it! And besides, it's a walk for a good cause anyway... 

I invited Steph & Wilmund to join us... The more the merrier they say! I actually invited Kit and Nam as well since they just got themselves a puppy - but Kit pulled out last minute, fearing that her new puppy might be overwhelmed with the amount of people and doggies there!

Fair enough, there were soooo many doggies there, it was pretty havoc! But surprisingly, when the walk commenced, it slowly became organised chaos. Everyone was walking the same direction, and most owners controlled their dogs really well. They were all very well behaved, I have to admit...

I was very impressed!

Not only with the organisation, but also because my little Remy actually managed to complete the whole 5 km's without fainting or falling over! Hahahhaa.

Pic above: 4km down, 1 more to go boy!! Mommy's sooo proud of you! My little boy posing with grandma and granddad :)

See the crowd behind us?? It was a pretty cold morning to start with, but then the sun came out to play. It was quite a beautiful day at Albert Park. The sun was shining, the sky was clear blue, the doggies happily walking, there were people sailing... Basically, everyone was enjoying :)

Cute Steph with her gumboots~! One of the smartest decisions ever!! I soooo should have wore mine too! But I thought I'd be more comfortable in my Ugg boots! But she was so much more clever!! Prevented herself from getting dirty with all the mud and stuff...

And her doggy, Coffee - was still so energetic!! 

My Remy did so well too!! Look at his smiley face! He was thoroughly enjoying himself! Hahaha...
My sister said his hands and feet looked really muddy! And then Jon teased her and said "I didn't know Remy had hands and feet?" Hahahhahaah....

I guess sometimes, we forget that he's a doggy, because he's our son, and so much a part of the family.

Remy, I know this is a little late, but mommy just wanted to let you know that she's really proud of you! *hearts*

Bersih 2.0 Rally

Those of you who know me, knows that I don't like to meddle in politics. International, national, or merely at the work place. I know I haven't really been home for many years... and being away, I don't actually read the local papers online like my sister does... And quite honestly, I have always been one of those people who didn't really care - so long it didn't affect me. Selfish is what some people call it.

I know I'm not the only one, but I am ashamed to say that I have never registered to vote in my home country. I always had excuses like "What difference does one vote make anyway?" "It's too hard! I've never been in Malaysia long enough since I turned 21(legal age)". "What paperwork is involved anyway??". "I'm not really in the country, so how would it affect me?"

Right??
WRONG!!

Seeing all the photos and write up in the media really saddened me. More than I would have imagined, really. As I read those posts, and looked at those photos from the Bersih 2.0 Rally on 9/7/11, tears started to roll down my cheeks.

I am unsure of this emotion I'm feeling. Partially sad that the people of Malaysia was so ill treated by the police force - the body that was supposed to protect the people, were harming them instead.

Partially ashamed that I have not been doing my part for so many years, watching my country sink into the depth of discrimination and corruption. Ashamed that I never really cared enough, for I had an escape route. That I was fortunate enough to have parents who worked hard, who could afford to send me away from the ugliness of it all, so I could have my chance at a free and fair life.

But a part of me, was also proud. Proud that there are so many Malaysians out there, who were well aware that they could be arrested, but still risked their health and life - to rally for a cause they believe in. Not to change the world in a day, but merely to be heard. To be made aware that the people are not happy, and are wanting an explanation, a solution for an ongoing, worsening problem.

I think we've all had enough.
Enough of corrupted politicians.
Enough of ignorant leaders, who really need to wake up and smell reality!
Enough of biased, government controlled media who doesnt report the whole truth.
Enough of authorities trying to use violence to induce fear in the 'rakyat'.
Enough of leaders sitting on their high horses, while the country is experiencing the biggest brain drain ever...

I've had enough of sitting around,
making up excuses why I can't do something.
Enough of turning a blind eye on the whole situation.

I may not live in Malaysia,
but I am still Malaysian...
and perhaps, this is my wake up call to play my part,
and do something for my country for once.


I know I'm not the only one...
I am sure this rally has touched Malaysians all around the world.
There were many Malaysians, living abroad, who were also decked in yellow -
gathered all around the world to support their fellow Malaysians from afar.
Perhaps, it is YOUR time to do something too?
To feel somewhat proud to be a Malaysian?

"Ask not what your country has done for you, but what you can do for your country"



ps: I am not usually the patriotic kind, but this has inspired me. Are YOU registered to vote??

Wedding Prep Frenzy

Hello all,

I am actually blogging from my iPhone at the moment. My car is being serviced so I am roaming the streets aimlessly while trying to plan a wedding and attempt multi-tasking.

The last few weeks have been a little frantic. Been working 9 night in a row, and they are 13 hours nights too! Felt like I was gonna die at the end. I was sooo over it! 
And on my days off, have been trying hard to sort out wedding stuff.

As you guys know, I am not really the bridezilla kind. I have just kinda let things slide, hoping they will slowly fall into place by themselves. But asthe day draws closer, I can't help but start to freak out!

Thank God I found a photographer for my KL wedding! Was such a pain looking for the one as they are mostly booked out, or I don't quite like their work. Paid for my wedding dress, finalizing the invitation designs, and have got an appointment with the cake maker in a fortnight. Phew~!

Now all I need to do is actually find our wedding bands!! And in between, study for a few O&G courses... OMG!! I need more time in a day!