yesterday was an emotional day for me,i went on a weepathon,with lots of tears.
i'm not the kind who likes to show my anixety,disappointment,or worries on the outside,and because of that,whenever i feel sad,its really silent and painful on the inside.but i think the lord wants me to be open with my feelings.and so,i shall begin with this.
on monday,i got back my results for inds,and frankly,i thought i would get better than what i got.but i didn't.when i got my results,i was disappointed.
i thought i'll be fine,and went out to watch twilight,which obviously didnt lighten my mood.and i went home,i slept really early that night.i wanted to escape from that feeling.when i woke up yesterday,i didnt feel any better.i think the devil made used of my feelings,and i just felt so depressed.i looked at my comments,and what i felt was just demoralisation.i started to feel lost,and helpless,and i started to sense fear towards it.and i didnt want to fear,because what lies on the heels of fear is hatred.when you start to fear something,you will hate it sooner or later.so,i decided to take the stack of sermons,and chose one to listen to.and i started to listen to god's word.after listening to it,i confided in god,i told him my feelings,thoughts,and problems,and when i cried out to him,my tears started coming out.all my worries started expressing themselves through tears.after confiding,i couldnt stop crying.i turned on some praise and worship songs,and started listening,and tears just kept coming down.the funny thing was my tears were no longer filled with sadness,helplessness but instead loved upon.
and when i finally calmed down,i felt refreshed.and after lunch,i suddenly felt this strong sense of drive.so i took my inds's results slip,and as i read it,god seems to be telling me that this is not a problem for him,if changes happened,it will be good.so i felt really motivated,no longer did i feel disheartened reading my comments.and i know this could only be god's love for me.
i thank god for hearing my cries,and prayers.for god says that the battles that i go through are not mine,but his.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
today is the last day of 2008,and it has been an amazing year.the events that took place were just god-sent.
this year,i started attending church regularly,i became the beloved child of god.
this year,i finally got someone to fall back on whenever i fail.
this year,i went to hillsong united concert.great praise and worship
this year,i met a7x with own eyes,standing right in front of me.
this year,i went to a7x's awesome concert.they're really good live.
this year,i had a lot of awesome church services.
this year,i met with disappointments but i didnt have to deal with it alone.
this year,i met friends whom i adore so dearly.
this year,my friends whom i know for years,i believe our friendship has taken to a stronger level.
this year,was an awesome year.
and tomorrow,1/1/2009,it will be hundredfold better,filled with unmerited abundance of grace,favour,blessings from my daddy god.amen.
happy new year people!!!!!!
I am living to make your name high!
i watched twilight yesterday.lets just say,i'm not one who appreciates romance movie.
i almost fell asleep,until the fighting part came on,which lasted for like at most 30 mins.
i like robert pattinson,the actor,but he looks weird in the movie.his glaring eyes.
surely,edward can stop glaring for at least 10 secs.
and the camera angles are pretty random which led me to chuckle.
but i have to say,i like jacob,i like his friends too,pretty cool,his type.
and i pretty like jasper,he was described to look in pain,and i think he might be really in pain,cause his expressions are so real,and its so funny.
alright,so i definitely won't be watching new moon now.
I am living to make your name high!
when you are so close to someone,you can't help but to feel sad with her,when she encounters a relationship problem.
i can never understand what it feels like to end a relationship with someone.what i can provide is companionship through this tough moment.
i used to hear my friends say that if there isnt someone you adore romantically,then life would be kinda empty.but that is wrong,to me it was more of feeling freed than feeling empty.
its pointless to get into a relationship just because the whole world is doing that.
my brother once told me, if you really want a bf, god can give you that,but it wont last because the time isn't right.but when the time is right and god gives you a bf, it would be for life.
right now,its just me,god,family,friends.and shir,i do believe in platonic relationships.it will work either way.
I am living to make your name high!
jesus,it's your birthday!!!!!!!!
though it aint the actual date,it's still the closest.
blessed christmas people!!!!!!!!
I am living to make your name high!
shir asked me today what my plans after graduation.
and frankly i dont know.
what i do know is i want to find a ministry to serve.
what i do want is to have a break from whatever that i'm doing,just to get an alphabet on my scoresheet.
i like it,but do i really?
I am living to make your name high!
christmas is coming,and jesus,i'll never forget that it's your birthday!
though it's not the actual day,it's the closest.
and you're the reason why i am living here today.full of grace.
these past 2 days have been celebrating christmas!with the christmas bash yesterday.
praise and worship was simply so fun and lovely.it's always nice to give praise to my lord my savior.
and with everyone else laughing and jumping to give praise.esp with the christmas bash.we get to dress up as our fav toy!and we all decided to dress up as carebears!it's not my fav,but its the simplest.
today was fun too,the skit,where it showed how jesus saves us from all the bad things,and he will take the pain for us,protecting us,really made me felt like crying.
and i finally found the perfect song for christmas,which is WE ARE THE REASON.it just simply describe the christmas festive.
and i love the song To Know Your Name.
jesus took my place,my punishment,my pain,my judgement,so that God will never condemn us,but instead love us more abundantly.
that is my lord.how great is my god right.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"the precious blood of jesus christ redeems.forgiven i'm alive with soul set free.
your majesty resides inside of me,forever i believe,forever i believe.
arrested by the truth and righteousness,your grace has overwhelmed my brokeness.
convicted by the spirit,led by your word.
your love will never fail.
i know you gave the world your only son for us to know your name.
to live within the saviour's love.
he took my place,knowing he'll be crucified.
he loved,he loved a people undeserving."
~ To Know Your Name.
I am living to make your name high!
yesterday was amazing.i got my portion from yesterday's 7 hrs plus of church service for the men and women of arrow.
i love the women's meeting.i caught a lot from there,and will use it to build a stronger relationship with my family and friends.
i could really feel god's presence yesterday when we had our prayers and ministering.i saw people being slain in the spirit,and just by sitting there,i couldn't help but cry.
i was so touched by the love god is giving us.and i'm glad i am one of his beloved children.
anyway,tml is another fun day! and i am looking forward to it. :DDD
to my family and friends,i really appreciate you guys a lot! have an awesome xmas ahead, and if you dont celebrate xmas,try celebrating it this time.
for me,i'm gonna have fun,for its the birth of jesus!!!
just finished making reservation at timbre next friday.woohoo!
I am living to make your name high!
my mind has been preoccupied with christmas presents and treats.
I am living to make your name high!
an early start,an awesome service,a great lunch at burger king,and an awesome time serving!
that's what i did today and it was beyond AWESOME.
it's really nice to spend time with god,learning god's word,serving god,getting to know new people or talking to them,be it a simple hi or bye or simple question.
service was great,i caught a lot of things from today's message.
and serving was just great.basically today,our church is collecting donations for the boys brigade's sharity box,where they collect daily stuffs for the poor.
and our arrow ministry was helping out today,with the collecting of goods,checking of expiry dates,and delivering it to BB's headquarters.
i was under the checking of expiry dates.and it was tiring because we had to check the products' expiry dates then load into the shopping carts,so we had to carry them into the carts.
so i carried countless packs of rice,oil bottles,biscuits,till the point i was really exhausted and my back kinda hurt a little.
i think there was one moment,the guys standing at the side,who were going to push the carts to the unloading area,stared at me,stacking packs of rice on top one another.
anyway,at the end of the 3 hrs service,i was drained but i was superly happy.
then the cg,went to buy stuffs to donate as well.and we called it a day.
i met my parents for dinner.and here i am.
next week is ONE FUN WEEK AHEAD!!!!!
but today was amazing.it's the kind of satisfaction that lives deep inside.
I am living to make your name high!
it could never be the works of mine,or whatever that dwells in my flesh.
so whatever that happened today is definitely my daddy god's doing,which is awesome.
praise god!!!
i shant worry for what's to come.for grace is renewed daily!
and finally i can enjoy this holiday,and celebrate CHRISTMAS!!!
:D seasons greetings people!
I am living to make your name high!
today feels like a sunday,a kinda boring sunday where i didnt go to church.
but nope,today is a monday!! a very cold monday.i did a major spring cleaning today,cleared and packed away all my old stuffs.
i stumbled upon some secondary 4 exams papers,and i compared my physics and chemistry papers.and i realised just how bad my physics is.i always get a JUST PASS ON THE DOT mark.like if it's upon 80,i'll get 40.
whilst my chemistry was a lot better.could be because i really like chemistry as to physics.
but anyway,sciences aside.
i'm so not used to going for 2nd church service,which starts at 11, on a sunday.i did it yesterday and i almost fell asleep during the service.but nevertheless,the message spoke to me.and my spectacles were no longer making me dizzy when i put it on to read the verses,now that's awesome!
but i'm not the only one dozing off.alvin and raphael were dozing off too.and they didnt try to wake up.hahha.but i cant blame them.
but NEXT SUNDAY is going to be pretty fun.
going to serve in the boys brigade sharity thingy.so since poly custer is serving from 3 plus to 6 plus,that means,we have to go to the 2nd service.
let's hope this time,i wont fall asleep.......
moving on the nasty matters,sometimes i feel some people are really oblivious and ignorant.or that they just do not know how to PARAPHRASE their words to make themselves sound an awful lot smarter.and sometimes i dont know if i should be angry with them or to feel sad for them.
but most of the times,i will be really pissed with them.not to the point of angry,but pissed.
anyway,i shan't get myself worked up because of someone and his stupid comments.when i see flesh,i shan't react with flesh.and plus,sometimes people just dont mean to be that straightforward,it's in their blood i guess.
well,this week is going to be a crucial week of presenting.i'm afraid,but i shant be worried.
and may daddy god blessed me with shalom peace,unmerited grace,love,blessings,favour,and wisdom for the week ahead and the important matters that are going to take place.amen to that.
my dad finally put up the CHRISTMAS TREE!!!WOOHOOOOO,but he didn't even give me a chance to hang the decorations.he had all the fun himself. D:
but anyway,i bought x'mas cards and i can't wait to write them!and i can't wait for CHRISTMAS BASH next sat!!
i wonder what toy could i dress as.....hmmm...guys any suggestions.
I am living to make your name high!
after a hectic week of burning the midnight oil and having a couple of nightmares that scared me awake,i can finally CUT MYSELF SOME SLACK!
yesterday was the submission,so after 5pm,i was all focused on getting some rest.
and rest was pushed back when i decided to go shopping with sis at vivo.it was awesome for a couple of reasons.
i had a funny dream last night.i dreamt that i was sitting in an auditorium,waiting for service to start,i saw alwin,he was getting ready to play.then when i rmb we booked the whole row for the cg,only to have this lady scolding us for doing that.
then,praise and worship started and guessed what.the first song was ENERGY,some chinese song.like WTF?!?!?
yeah...i rmbed laughing soo hard.and the funniest part has yet to come.when the song started,RYAN and his grp of friends came out to dance some himbo dance.hahahha.
i woke up laughing at that thought.it's sooo darn funny.
anyway,today was ARROW service!praise and worship was cool,no energy or ryan dancing.hahah.pre-service was great too!
pastor daniel was really funny.and i had an awesome time,what he preached was really calling out to me.after service,had a briefing on what we're going to do during serving next sun.the person who briefed us was really funny.her jokes and expressions.
wanted to have dinner with cg,but my parents were at suntec,so we had dinner together.
overall,today was awesome.got to go bed,going to 2nd service tml morning!
I am living to make your name high!
yep jeremy,i know you guys are awesome.and what's on the ground zac??
to all dcmds,and other people going through this tough week of submission and MSTs.
hang in there!
I am living to make your name high!
i'm freezing.playing word challenge on facebook once in a while.
my mind is thinking of inds.
my ears are listening to paramore's awesome live album.
i'm beginning to love live albums.
today was a nice day.i saw ryan,and his grp of friends,as usual.wacko.
:D
serving in church on dec 14,must remember.
this week is going to be hectic.but not to worry,grace is sufficient and renewed daily.
psalm 57:7 (NKJV)(how paramore do quote once in a while)
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise.
I am living to make your name high!
