Long time no post!

So it has been a REALLY long time since I blogged. I even debated doing this but I have had a crazy day filled with things in my crazy mind that I want to document but am not sure where to even put it. So blog, you are the lucky spot for my mindless nothing thoughts. :) First off, my baby girl started preschool today. I know, I know, it's just preschool, but for me it wasn't just preschool. I never leave my baby with anyone but family. I know it may be overprotective but this was my first day dropping her somewhere with someone for a few hours and watching a door close and me walking away. I realized how big my baby girl was getting and soon quickly came home and held my baby boy for a while saddened by the way that they grow up all to fast. I LOVE my babies and honestly am so grateful that my Savior trusted me enough to send them to my house for me to be their mom. I am one blessed girl! The second item of business that has been weighing heavy on my mind today is an amazing woman named Georgia Stewart recently left this world to go home to our Heavenly Father to help with the work on the other side. I can't go to a funeral without missing my dad and reliving that day in my mind. I honestly know that I have not dealt completely with the passing of my dad and understand that at some point I need to truly come to my my Heavenly Father with an open heart and mind and ask for peace but at this point in my life I just have so many things going on I don't know if I'm ready for that. I do know that as I prepared for the services this morning I knew that both my dad and Georgia lived amazing lives and touched so many that their services would be filled with people who adored, admired, and were touched by these two people that the Lord called home. It got me thinking, am I living my life in the same way? My dad was my hero. He literally walked in true confidence in who he was. I honestly don't know if many of us, well at least myself, can say the same thing. I want so badly to be a tool for the Lords work. Sometimes though I open up my mouth and I know that I sound like hard hearted person that doesn't have a spiritual bone in my body. I seriously realized today after hearing the great messages of Georgia's life and reflecting on my dad that I can do more. That I know my Heavenly Father has given me a spirit in myself that I have not yet searched for. That I am capable of being more then who I am and touching people and having compassion beyond what I am allowing myself. I am grateful for these hard moments like today so that I can reflect on who I am capable of being and for these amazing people I have been blessed to have in my life. I am so grateful that I have always been showered with people around me helping build a foundation so that I can be something more then mediocre and so that through their example I can strive to be more like my Savior. All of this being said, I am thankful for the gospel. I am thankful for my little family and I love when my little Keeley will make reference in her sweet little spirit to her knowledge already of how important and special her family is to her. It's in those moments that I know I am doing my part in letting her know what is important. I am grateful for my parents that taught me the importance of family. I am grateful for amazing friends who lead and set examples all around me of how to be charitable and loving, giving, selfless, and non-judgmental. I am sure one day I will be grateful for these trials and for who they are making me to be. I am last, but for sure not least, grateful for my Savior. For his sacrifice and the Atonement. I am so grateful that I am able to utilize the atonement for myself.

Liam Maddox McLeod

I'm finally getting around to posting about our new little man. Mr. Liam Maddox McLeod joined our family on June 13, 2011. He weighed 8 lbs 6 oz and was 21 inches long. He is the best baby. He is content on his own or just happy as can be snuggled in your arms. Big sister Keeley took some time to adjust and want to hold him but she came around. Now I can even get her to kiss his head. That's huge!! Adjusting to having 2 kids and doing it pretty much by myself has been more difficult then I anticipated. I just tell myself one day at a time and at least I get a shower and my teeth brushed every day.

My Keeley Girl turned 2!

So my baby girl, not such a baby anymore, turned 2. She is seriously the super best! A few things about Keeley that I adore:
- She holds up one finger and tells you "I'll be right back." Seriously the cutest thing ever.
- She wakes up in the morning singing. I'll be laying there and all of the sudden over the monitor comes itsy bitsy or wheels on the bus. Doesn't get much better then that wake up call.
- She calls her Grandma Adams on the phone at least 5 times a day to ask Grandma about her dog Rosie. Seriously obsessed with the dog this child is!
- At night when I lay her down for bed we go back in forth saying I love you until I close the door. I would have to say it's my favorite part of my day.
- She loves her bath. You can't even mention the word unless you are ready for a strip down and for her to want in.
- She knows how to count to 13.
- She knows a few of her colors. I can't believe how smart she is.

All in all she is the sweetest thing ever!! Happy Birthday my Keeley girl. Daddy and I can't imagine our lives without you.

Long time no post

So, I've decided that this is my little journal from time to time that I like to look back on so since crazy life is knockin at our door I felt like I better document it. So for starters our little man is due in just a little over 10 weeks. I can't believe that I am going to have another little one in our house in no time at all. So exciting and so nerve racking all at the same time.
Dean and I have been making some decisions around here for us long term. Sacrifice now to have something in the future right. My husband is amazing and is truly stepping up to the plate to be the provider for us. I am so grateful for him and for his dedication. How blessed we are as a family. He is not only working full time pest control right now but he just took on a full time graveyard shift doing security for the JW Marriott. We literally see him probably a total of 2 hours 5 nights a week before he heads off to bed to prepare for his day and nights ahead of him. Keeley sure misses her daddy and I sure miss my husband. The single parent thing is for sure not easy and I find myself, with no family here in town, being super lonely. Thank goodness for my sweet little girl that keeps me busy and that smile that makes it all worth it. I am really nervous for Liam though. How in the world am I gonna do a newborn and a 2 year old by myself? I guess I will figure it out and I will learn from it. Sacrifice now for something more in the future. I keep telling myself that over and over and over!!
I also find myself at times feeling overwhelmed with emotions about missing my dad. He was such an amazing man and with that being said how do you fill that void after they are gone? Reflecting on Keeley's birth I still see him and his penguin waddle walk walking into my delivery room and the smile on him face once she was born. I know that a huge part of Liam's birth will be bitter sweet without him actual presence in the room with me but I have to keep telling myself that I know he will be there. I know that it is probably just as hard for him not to be with us in this amazing time as it is for us not to have him here. His grandkids were his everything and I know Liam would have been no different. How I wish my little boy and my little girl for that matter could have known and learned from the man that their grandfather was.
Now with all that being said I will wrap it up with of course the every post needs a picture of my sweet baby girl. She is the best!! She is talking up a storm these days. You can't quite understand all of it but she's talkin. She is SOOO independent. She has to dress herself, brush her hair, her teeth, get her own sippy cup, the whole nine yards. She dances and sings all day and it just makes me smile to watch her do it. She laughs in my face when she gets in trouble and sometimes I will admit that the laugh and smile make it hard to follow threw but don't you worry, I do. She's the super best!!!

Big News on the Home Front

Small post, big news! The McLeod crew at our pad is expecting a baby boy in June. We have no name but we have tons of excitement. The anticipation for another baby is exciting. I am really nervous. Dean is of course cool as a cucumber but the change of life with another baby makes me so nervous. I guess ready or not, here we come!!

Oh Life

So I went to a funeral for a friends brother that was tragically gone before the rest of us around him feel was his time. I literally can say I never liked funerals but I now HATE them. There are parts that are touching but for the most part I put myself back at my dads service still truly missing my father to the depths of my soul. They passed by me with the casket as the service started and I weeped not only for my friend and for the great loss and heartache that I know he is feeling but for the great loss of my dad. For that moment so recently that we followed in a casket almost just the same way. I found myself having to truly breath real deep to even be able to breath. I didn't even cry like that at my dads service. I think it is because when you have to so quickly gather together for your own loved one you are numb. You go through the motions, being strong for those around you, but when you are 6 almost 7 months later attending another tragic funeral service it all plays to real. Aside from the difficulty of todays service though I realized how grateful I am for such amazing friends. The Lord blessed me in high school with such close friends that even 13 years later I feel almost as though they are my brothers. The close embrace of a friend aching and in some way being able to sympathize and understand him in ways that you never thought you would is so amazing. I love the Gospel, I love my family, and I love my friends. I am grateful for eternity. Not only for myself but for those around me that I love that to have families that have experienced recent trials yet we have the same knowledge to get us through the today.

Bring in the New Year!

Well 2011 is just around the corner. I can't wait for a new year!! To say the least, this 2010 has been the ultimate piece of poopy! I still have to count my blessings though. I am so grateful for my family. When I say my family I mean my husband and Keeley along with our extended family. Life truly is not complete without any part of a family unit and this year has come to prove that to be true more then ever. I am grateful for the Gospel, for the knowledge that is helps us have, the comfort that it brings and for understanding of the love the Savior has for us. Today couldn't have been a better reminder of how blessed I am. My baby girl just made me smile the entire day. Even the simplest thing of listening to her play makes you appreciate just having her in my life. I can't wait for a million more days like today! Happy New Year everyone!