Sea Legs... Four + Years Later
Sea Legs, (online dictionary) means:
1. the ability to maintain one's balance on board ship, esp in rough weather
2. the ability to resist seasickness, esp in rough weather
Two things...maintaining balance and resisting seasickness. The sickness is a new one for me. I have always associated "sea legs" with only managing to stay upright.
It has been over four years since my world was turned upside down. Four years later I think, *think*, I have gotten better at my life and accepted it and got use to the new situation. I know, some people are quicker than others when it comes to change. Not only did I have to accept change but accept that the plan I had for life was changing and there was nothing I could do about it. Sometimes it is difficult, you live your life in a way that will give you desired results, and sometimes regardless of your efforts, it changes drastically.
I realize I was adjusting and more accepting on Friday afternoon to having Davis in a group home. Having Davis there has been unnatural. He is my son, a brother, a part of our family, he should be with us. I had a conference call for Davis' IEP, Individual Education Plan. We do this annually to discuss Davis' goals, where he is academically, behaviorally etc. I usually cry at least once during these. No tears this time, matter-of-fact, just want what is best for Davis.
Ethan was asked in Seminary today to talk about Davis. The lesson was about Jesus blessing the blind. They talked a lot about disabilities and the trial it is and how we can learn. Ethan's teacher told me he did an excellent job explaining about Davis, how it affects him and the family and how much we miss him. Then taught the class not to judge and to be kind.
The thought of being a single mother is finally being accepted by me. I am an awesome Mom, love my children and giving them what they need. I fight continually for them and for our family. I decided when Clint left that I was still going to raise my family in a family environment. The children came first, this wasn't their choice and I was going to give them the life they deserve. We have always attended our Family Ward for church, we have Family Prayer and honestly, have scripture study often, not daily. We have family dinners together, we go on vacation together, we discuss family issues together. I do not single us out as different.
So I do have my SEA LEGS, I am upright, resisting being sick despite the rough weather.
COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT
-David B. Haight
