2010 - It Has To Be Better Than 2009!

So... as I think about the year ending and possible New Year's Resolutions, I think, it has to be better than 2009. The last year has for sure been the hardest of my life. But I am going to be better for it and I am not going to let it drag me down. After all... I have so many blessings to be grateful for.

In no particular order:

1. My children
2. The gospel
3. My family, sisters, brothers, parents, cousins... I couldn't have done it without you
4. My home
5. My neighborhood
6. My BFFs - you know who you are
7. Random Jobs
8. My own business
9. My attitude (knowing I did the best I could and then some)
10. My DVR
11. A movie theater so close (yes I go by myself sometimes)
12. Green Tea (I gave up Diet Coke)
13. Books - I love to read
14. Blogs - I stalk everyone
15. My Bishop
16. Random Acts of Kindness (keep shoveling my sidewalks whoever you are)
17. Davis' Group Home
18. Good School and Teachers for my children
19. Excellent Church Leaders for my children and knowing they REALLY do love them
20. Prayer and the Temple
21. BYU won against Utah

So for 2010 I am going to be great. I just got a new job, better hours and benefits for me and the children. I feel in control of things that were out of control before. I found a new project that I can do just for me to chronical the year also. It is Becky Higgins Project Life. I will journal a little each day and chronical the year in pictures. It is awesome. You can goggle it and you will want one for yourself too. This is going to be a year worth remembering, right? (I tried to post it on my blog, but I am dumb, couldn't do it so goggle it yourself. Ha ha ha I tried to call Annie to help, but she isn't home. Annie - where are you when I need you?)

I have set new goals and I hope to keep them and be better off in the end for them. I am not posting them here. If I did, you could all look and me and do the tsk tsk thing if I don't keep them. LOL There are a lot of things that I never posted here. I don't want to post the things that aren't enjoyable and we wouldn't want to see in the future. I just want to remember the good things and there are many of them. There isn't a day that goes by that I can't think of how blessed I am.

Thank you to all my fabulous Family and Friends. I really couldn't have done it without your love and support.

2010... Bring it!

PS Merry Christmas to you all

All About Lauren

Christmas Time is here. Lauren's favorite time of the year... after her birthday. We talk about it all the time. She insists that we do a gingerbread house. I personally am not a fan. Lots of work, but if you do them with your kids... I have a trick. Glue gun them together. Much faster and stronger. Just don't eat that part. LOL

Lauren had her friend Melanie come over and they had way too much fun, as you can see.

Lauren danced at Festival of Trees. She loved it and loved the attention. She is looking so grown up to me. It is disturbing... I want her to stay four forever and it isn't working. She is almost seven. Any suggestions to make her stop? She did such a good job and has been wearing her tap shoes for days. Wouldn't mind it so much if I didn't have tile everywhere. Excedrin anyone?

Love her!

FHE

So.... I have been trying to be diligent having Family Home Evening with my little family. The dynamics and size of my family have changed, but the need for Family Home Evening has not. Tonight we started with a song and prayer. Ethan picked, "Book of Mormon Stories". This is probably the most popular song picked and that we sing at our house. It was Davis' favorite. When we got to the end Ethan had a puzzled look on his face.

He told me that the last line "Give this land, If they live, Righteously" (I know you are all doing the actions in your head), he thought the end was "Right to Sleep". It made me laugh.

As Ethan gets older, we don't have as many of those misunderstood moments that he had when he was small. It made me smile, that even though the words didn't make sense to him, that he still sang along for all these years.

Tonight we learned from Elder David A. Bednar and his conference address. (The kids were worried I was going to read it all to them, no worries... just highlighted parts). We made a goal to be more consistent with family prayer and to be kinder to each other and show others that we have a testimony by how we live our lives.

I love being a mom, it is the most important thing in the world. I hope that my children know how important the gospel is to me and how important they are in my life.

BTW... Ethan passed the sacrament for the first time today. He was so grown up and looked so handsome. He avoided making eye contact with me during the sacrament, but had the biggest grin on his face when he sat down. He is such a great example to me. What a great moment for our family.

Another Big Boy!

I can not believe that I have a 12-year-old and that Davis is now 10-years-old. How is he going to tell people how old he is next year without having enough fingers? We went to the Group Home and took him presents, his favorites, magazines, M&Ms, crayons, paper, coloring books, paints, etc. Oh and a big balloon with goggly eyes on it. He loved that.

Then we took him to Burger King for chicken nuggets, fries and anything else you can dip in fry sauce. He seemed so much older and was saying so many funny words. He even chased his brother and sister through the play area. The best part was that we were the only ones there so he could scream and have all the fun he wanted. It was perfect.

Davis is growing up so fast, I hope I don't miss out on too much. We go and visit him as often as we can and love to sing songs with him, tickle him and learn new things from him each time we are together.

My children bring me so much joy and happiness. I am so grateful for them and for them to be a part of my family. I can't imagine my life any way but the way it is. I love the challenges of my children and especially the blessings that come from being their mother. I especially love the silly, crazy moments that make me laugh and love them even more.

I am one lucky mom.

I'm Going There Someday

Ethan is just filling me with so many fabulous memories this month. I was blessed enough to take him to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple this week for the first time to do Baptisms. He was so excited to be able to go and go with me. It was so nice to have Grandpa Rosenvall with us too. He helped and talked to Ethan about so many things.

I love Ethan and what a joy he has been to raise and have for a son.

Sunday Best

Today Ethan got the priesthood. It was so nice to have the family together, all the cousins, aunts and uncles and friends. Ethan felt very loved. I could tell he was a little nervous at the beginning, he didn't know what to expect. I explained it was a blessing given to him just as he did when he got the Holy Ghost. After I told him that he turned to me and said "No biggie then." Made me smile.

We were so blessed to have his Grandpa Rosenvall come down from Canada and ordain him. It was a long trip, but well worth it. It was the way Ethan wanted it and I am glad we could make it work. Here are some pictures of the day. Notice Ethan's new tie. He no longer will wear clip-ons, only the real ones, so we got him a new one for the day.

I feel like the luckiest Mom in the world today. I have the most amazing children. We went to see Davis too, he is doing so well and was so happy. He remembered who everyone was, even those he hadn't seen in over a year. This is a day that I will remember always.

Holy Cow! Look Who's 12!

I cannot believe I have a child who is 12. It really is making me feel old. I can remember the day he was born perfectly. I was so excited and nervous to be a mom. Ethan came here perfect and was such a good baby. We were like 2 peas in a pod before Davis came. We did everything together. We still do. He is getting more and more fun to raise and be with. He brings absolute joy to our family. He is considerate of his siblings, he is such a good older brother.

Ethan is always good to help out around the house and to help me with chores and to babysit his sister. He has always been so kind to his brother Davis and never once complained about having to help out with his brother and he was never embarrassed by him. What a guy!

I am including pictures of him getting ready for church and putting on his own tie. He watches You Tube and does it all on his own. He is getting so handsome too as he gets older. Last week at the Halloween Parade I could see a couple girls watching him and following him around. Oh no!

I pointed out the Dwight Shrute sign to Ethan and told him that was the best thing he could remember. Don't be an idiot! He just laughed and then showed all his friends.

I am a very lucky Mom. Ethan: Thanks for being such a great kid and making me smile every day. I love you.

HALLOWEEN 2009

Lauren striking a pose, she is so funny.

Lauren, MaKenna and their teacher, Mrs. Pearson

Ethan thinking now that he is in Grade 6, that he is too cool for the School Parade.

The boys after Trick-or-Treating, playing "Poker" and trading their candy. Funny thing is they don't know how to play, they are more just trading. But they are having fun.

More posing

Diabetes on the table. There is so much CANDY in this house. Ugh!

East Lake Elementary Halloween Parade. I think she was the cutest one there.

Halloween has come and gone. But do you ever feel like Halloween lasts for over a week, there are school festivities, church events, family traditions, the Halloween itself. It is never-ending and there is candy everywhere. Candy, Candy, CANDY! I was a total bah-humbug today. I took down the Halloween decorations while the kids were out Trick-or-Treating. I'm over it.

Lauren was a cat this year and Ethan was a Parkour Dude. Parkour is Ethan's new passion, he jumps off of everything and he and his friends are constantly learning new tricks and moves. So his shirt says Why Walk, Parkour?

I hope you all had a Happy Halloween.

SNOW DAY!

Today was the first snow fall of the season. Last night it was so windy and creepy, and we woke up to snow. At one point it was snowing so hard, you couldn't see the Temple from our house. The kids were excited to wear their hat, gloves and winter coats to school.

When they got home I had "Snow Day" ready. We had hot chocolate, marshmallow, whip cream and of course - donuts. They invited some friends over and we had fun cutting out snonwflakes and putting them up. I love the snow, I just hope it is gone and it warms up for Halloween.

Happy Snow Day Everyone!

What We Have Been Up To...

This is my phone. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I usually don't know where it is, nor do I keep it with me all the time, as many of you know. However, lately, it is with me all the time. I am a busy mom...
The kids are off-track... that means Ethan is spending a lot of time with his friends. The boys have been watching YouTube, playing games, football and more football and being outside doing Parkour. They love it. They jump off everything and have many a bump and bruise to prove it.
This is the newest member of the family. Not Lauren's friend MaKenna but the cat. We found it at my work in the window well. Two weeks ago we found one cat and my friend at work took her home, and then this showed up. I think it is here to stay. The kids love her, me I am working on it. She cries at night like a baby... last time I checked, I was done with babies in the night, and she isn't as sweet as a baby.

The kids take her everywhere and treat her just like a baby. Did you know if you take a kitten to Harmons, they will kick you out. Go figure. It is Lauren's newest accessory. Good thing it isn't an ugly cat.

She has three names. If you would like to, vote and let us know your favorite. They are 1. Kitty 2. Snowflake and 3. Little Bit

I know which one I like, I think she might end up with 3 names in the end.

Made me Laugh

I love the Girl Scouts - especially the cookies. This made me laugh for a long time. I am still giggling.

Lucky Me!

We had our Primary Program yesterday at church. The children were awesome. It is one of my favorite meetings of the year. I love all the singing and funny moments. We had one girl who danced to all the songs. Such joy for me. Ethan is almost 12 so instead of him wearing his usual shorts and collared shirt to church we, meaning me, got him a nice new suit to wear for his ordination and for church from now on. Between Ethan and me we didn't know how to tie a tie, so I told him we would just have one of the men at church do it. But Ethan is more resourceful than that. I found him online on youtube looking for a site that teaches you how to tie the proper tie. He found it and did it all by himself. I was so proud of him. Now we need to teach him to put his suit away properly and nicely...

Check out these shots of how cute they are.

FYI, raising girls is fun! Lauren came home from church crying because of her new church shoes. I didn't understand which, of course, caused more sighing and frustration. Apparently the shoes I got her (after trying 4 stores to find church shoes) were ugly and everyone thinks they are ugly and nobody wants to be her friend anymore. Whatever! They are cute shoes. Ethan was giggling about her breakdown which made her more frustrated. The solution: just ignore her and let her change. Ah, the drama. I thought she looked marvelous. I also realized when we got to church that she had makeup on. Seriously? Girls.

HOPE

I think in all our lives we are going to have times that truly test who we really are. I hope as I have gone through the worst chapter of my life (I hope) that I have become a better person. I hope I have truly found out who I am, what matters most, and discovered what matters most to me in life. I felt like I lost what mattered the most, but all it meant was that I had to make what was left matter. I love my children with all my heart. I hope they know that, knowing my parents love me and are always there, has made this transistion bearable, I am not so alone.
I have had to learn to love my sweet Davis in a new way. I need to HOPE that he will continue to learn and grow and develop and reach his full potential in this life, whatever it may be. I need to hope that as his mother from a distance I can hold him close and teach him the best I can when I am with him. It is painful to even write about it. Ethan and Lauren are so precious and how quickly life can change into something you don't expect. I need to cling to the moments that matter, and make them count.
My youngest, Lauren, is in Grade One now and I need to teach her all I can when she is home and hope that she takes it with her and grows up to be the amazing girl I know she is. She is stronger for having a brother with special needs, and having to take care of him at such a young age and love him, when she can't be loved back, and understand that Family, no matter how it is constructed is the most important thing. Lauren loves life, and we can all learn from her vivacious spirit to love all the little things around us and to laugh and dance through life. It makes it better.
Ethan is almost 12. To me, age 12 is a monumental milestone in growing up. He is almost a young man. He is going to have to make big decisions and choices. I hope I have done a good job the first 2/3 of his life in my home to teach him to choose the right, for that will make you happy. He is such a wonderful boy. He has had to learn to step up and be a "man" more than I imagined he would at this age. He helps with his younger siblings, he helps around the house, and he is somewhat responsible. Hee hee. He is changing so much this year physically, it is astonishing. I love who he is becoming and I love having conversations with him, it isn't so lonely because I can have real conversations with someone.
I feel like I am the luckiest Mom in the world. I am grateful for HOPE and the knowledge I have that I am not alone. That God lives and he really does listen to my prayers. I hope I never forget that, and remember this last year and how much I have grown because of it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but for me, I hope it has made me a better person. Divorce is like waking up every day, getting hit by a bus, and being expected to carry on like it is no big deal. Placing a child in a group home has been a nightmare. I feel like someone took one of my arms off and said, "It's no big deal, it will be easier now." It isn't easier, just different, because I enjoyed every moment being his mom, even the hard ones that made me cry. I just miss him and being a part of his life each and every day. The guilt and heart break is unbearable, but I know I will always be his Mom and he knows who I am. We have a bond, no one will understand it and others often thinks he is incapable of love, but I have never felt love like I have shared with him.
HOPE is amazing and I hope you all have it in your own life. If not, pray for it and then wake up and do your best.

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O CANADA

Canada is always a fun trip. Especially when the weather is nice. No more trips in the winter for me. We had fun going to Waterton, playing with cousins, basketball camp, Surprise 70th Birthday for Grandma and just being together. The drive wasn't too bad either. Lauren loves to be with her cousins and thinks they are twins. So cute.

4th of July

I am even posting this lovely one of me. Lauren loves to take pictures. Of the 382 that I downloaded today, I only wanted about 40 of them. Good thing for the delete button. She even got some good ones of me sleeping.

Fourth of July was fun. We went to Stadium of Fire. I am so grateful for the tickets so we could keep this tradition alive in our family. This is my 14th in a row. Lauren loved Jonas Brothers, Ethan rolled his eyes at them. I danced to some of the songs. It was great fun. I love this holiday.

We went to see Davis and do fireworks with him at the group home. He loved them and was laughing the whole time. Davis is good for perspective. He is always so happy to see us and thrilled with the littlest thing. I love that kid!