I wonder how u do it, or rather.. did it, coz i just cant seem to do so.

Yang paling kanan itu namanya Nuraini. Saya dijemput untuk menghadiri majlis persandingannya minggu hadapan.

Yang di tengah itu pula bernama Putri. Dia baru sahaja melahirkan pada malam raya. Nama anaknya Daud Aqmar.

Yang kiri pula, Raudah, sudah bertunang dan akan berkahwin tahun hadapan sebelum raya.






The photos above were taken last year, 2009.

Remember when i say how much time has changed?
I can still remember my RP days with them. Run around school for silat. Hardcore trainings for IVP. Giggling for gossips at camps. Lepak and eat and watsnots just like any other school girls.

Well, each of them now has started their own story. So refreshing!
what about me?
Im still stuck here with tutorials and crazy lectures and assignments! how boring can i be.


Mak, Ana nak kahwin jugak boleh? Ana da penat lah dengan skolah...



-end-

Guests.. visitors... they kept coming over one after another last weekend. Throughout, I didnt know if I should feel happy or otherwise cause it was quite tiring to be in the kitchen all day long.

Glasses and dishes... peioks and kualis, cutleries..countless times I had to wash and serve.. wash and serve. Potong lada potong sayur and everything else. I wasnt complaining.. and im not complaining now either. The whole raya pattern and process have kept me thinking.

Thinking.. thinking..

I wonder how my mom handled everything on her own when we were young. I dont remember helping her out when I was a kid. She mustve been really strong. Im sure all moms are. And I wonder why I tire out easily when Im not even into the stage of a mom.

So when I was helping out in the kitchen, mom was telling me how delighted she was when people come over. She kept telling me how 'besar hati' she was. And there was this glitter of happiness from her expressions.

And I guess she showed her affection and gratitude through her cookings. Goodness I tell you, she prepared mee goreng, lontong with all its lauks, samosa, nuggets and kuih pau and served everything for just one family.

At that instance, I know I should stop sighing. I know mom will never stop showing her gratitude that way. It has been going on every year. And if Im helping her, i better do it with sincerely. Ikhlas. But thing is, I realize she's getting older and she gets tired even more than I do.

When I was a kid, I didnt help at all.. and slowly when I grew up, mom made me help her bit.. by bit.. and the amount of things I do slowly increase proportionally as i grow up.

So i wonder, will there be a point... where... I have to replace her job entirely one day? Im not even sure if Im ready. Knowing my mom, she had taught me how these kitchen responsibilities and housework chores belong to us females. If the males in the house help out.. its already good enough that they 'help'. But us females, its never 'help' out cause its part of our responsibilities.

I dont know when was the transition line... but somehow I realize times have changed. Things are different nowadays.

On the night of Syawal, every year, my family will pray together jemaah and then takbir. This year, somehow I was brought to tears seeing both my mom and dad had to pray on a chair.

I have come to realize that my parents are getting old and unwell. The whole raya preparation had made them very exhausted and sickly. Mom had knee trouble after all the cookings and dad was still unwell from the tummy effects.

When it comes to raya-visiting, I could see that the main topic between parents and aunts/uncles is always about illnesses. DArah tinggi? kencing manis? sakit lutot? sakit kepale? Its just too common among them.

And what about the generation before them? Grandmas and grandpas. wheelchairs, tongkats... dementia? ITs really sad. They could say things repeatedly cause they forgot that they had said it before. And when we made them realize that they are repeatingly saying/asking the same thing.. they would start to tear. The whole scene is just.. very sad. Ada yang,... maaf kata, cant control their saliva. Thats even more sad.

Times really have changed. I could still remember how these old people were somehow 'fit' and funny joking around when I was a kid. It made me realize that, if they are already that old, I must be VERY adult now. Scary but true somehow.

I started to notice that nowadays the Dependence-level is mutual. Its no longer just the parents giving it to us.

And what saddened me was, realizing how many times I sighed each time. Sighed each time I cleaned the house cause they are no longer fit to do so. Sighed to help them out serving the guests. Sighed when I had to send them here, there, everywhere. I felt Sinful. I forgot how much they've done for me ever since I was born - yet never complained.

This time round, when my friends are coming over for Raya, I told myself I really should not trouble my mom. They are my guests and I should be the one doing it. I went to the supermarket few days before. Bought some drumlets, brownie flour and fresh flowers =)

Flowers for my living room, baked brownies, and drumlets to fry and serve. Well, I guess thats good enough for a start. Im not skillful yet to cook dishes! InsyaAllah one day. =D

Thoughout, I felt something... indescribable. Somehow there was this tinge of excitement inside of me. Something... delightful! I realize... perhaps this was what my mom feel each time she has guests and prepares numerous food! Yes, it was that 'besar hati' kind of feeling I thought. I guess this has been the drive that that no matter how tired she is, she will still do it! It felt... hmmm.. a great sense of satisfaction? Im sure it is! Coz I was tired too but it felt great somehow.

Perhaps, I am slowly becoming like her. What goes around comes around =)






Mom, uve moulded the best of me. Thank you I love u.

With luv,

As al jawaher sings,





Duhai insan yang mulia,
ingatlah kepadaNya
yang telah memberimu
nikmat di dunia

Apakah engkau sedar
pemberianNya itu
penuh mengandung makna
tidak terkira

Andainya kau mengerti
bersyukurlah kau sayang
kerana hidup ini
sekelip mata

berubahlah semua
seperti kehendakNya
cuma amal dan soleh
melindungimu...

ingatlah rakan, ingatlah sayang
kudratnya Tuhan
Maha Segala
sucikanlah jiwamu
dengan amal dan taqwa
tanpa rasa curiga kepadaNya jua

Tuhan Pengasih
Tuhan Penyayang
Pohonlah kepadaNya
Sujud padaNya



the song that was aired over and over. Im loving the song. It made me realize how great Allah's nikmats are. Just sometimes we are just too ignorant to realize.. and worse, to be grateful.

The tazkirah tonite was also about nikmat Tuhan and it hits me hard.

kadangkala kita sedih dgn kesempitan hidup yg kita lalui tetapi kita lupa dgn kesenagan lain yg diberi Tuhan.

The ustaz was telling us about a lady who came to him complaining. She was utterly sad and depressed, with the fact that her relationship with her husband was not very loving and that he rarely even smile to her. And she was even more sad that her doa for a better relationship was never answered.

And so the ustaz tried to remind her about OTHER things that she has. She has a job, and she's happy with her job. That is one nikmah.
She has kids. And she's very close with them. Thats another nikmah.

To conclude the story, sometimes Allah might not give what we ask for, but He will give something else which sometimes are much better or something we didnt even think of.

Nikmat Tuhan begitu luas. SubhanaLLah.
It made me think that sometimes I complain I dont have this and that, but yet Im always full of something else. I should stop and look around me.

But that, does not mean we should stop asking from God. For Allah Himself wants us to seek from Him.


“Dan Tuhanmu berfirman: "Berdoalah kepada-Ku, niscaya akan Kuperkenankan bagimu. Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyombongkan diri dari menyembah-Ku akan masuk neraka Jahannam dalam keadaan hina dina”.” (Surah al-Mu’min, 40: 60)


With that, he reminded us about waktu mustajab. Means, waktu yg doa2 akan dikabulkan.
Its at night. Late at night. What more nights of Ramadhan. And what more the nights of last 10 days of Ramadhan. That is why we are encouraged to Qiyam. Qiyaamullail.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda:
“Rabb (Tuhan) kita turun di setiap malam ke langit yang terendah, yaitu saat sepertiga malam terakhir, maka Dia berfirman : Siapa yang berdoa kepadaKu maka Aku kabulkan, siapa yang meminta kepadaKu maka Aku berikan kepadanya, dan siapa yang meminta ampun kepadaKu maka Aku ampunkan untuknya”. (HR. Al-Bukhari no. 1145, 6321 dan Muslim no. 758).



InsyaAllah. Ameen.
=)

Because my friends here are just so awesome that they never fail to make my day after a long boring, sometimes disastrous day at sch =)

photos credited to zack.







http://ntusilat.wordpress.com/

Beg Telekong



Remember the days when almost everyone had beg telekong? cute colourful beg telekong that we used to chop places for zohor n asar prayers in school. We also used it to chop places in canteen.. n swings at the playground too haha! I remembered mine was a polly pocket beg telekong. My mom bought it for me when I was in primary one. I was so proud of it cause I thought I had the nicest beg telekong. LOL. It has bits of pink of it. Very sweet. Just like what Misha has now, a strawberry shortcake beg telekong.

And as we grew older, we thought beg telekong is so kental and childish. We wanted to be 'kakak2' when we're around P4 or P5. So we brought our telekong around just like that without any begs for it. And the telekong can be stretched long to chop places for friends too!

those were the days. Primary sch days in Al-Maarif. the one in Ipoh Lane. =)

Now at the age of 22, I suprisingly have a beg telekong. na-uh, not another polly pocket or barbie or strawberry shortcake or any of those girly prints. Its now more womenly, lol. Embroidery pattern. Or u call it sulam. Beautiful. Really.

To you who presented the beautiful set of telekong together with its beg suprisingly at my doorstep. Thank you. Jazakallahu Khairan.

Semoga setiap kali telekong itu digunakan, yang memberi juga akan dapat ganjarannya. Ameen. =)