YAY!!!

This morning at 5am, Nelly saw me and she burst into a smile!!!!!

Can't get enough of it.

(pardon the bad quality - i know i'm a professional photographer but it was 5am and pitch dark and I hate using flash esp the one on the iphone.)

On Breast Feeding (Men bear with me)

I know I hate it and swear I will give up soon because there is nothing glamourous about breastfeeding.. (that is what I would have told you a month ago)

But I perservered.

I went through almost the same thing for both my children.

Its painful, its aweful and for most women, its the main cause of post natal blues.

My babies can never latch on from birth... well, not without help from a lactation consultant.

Firstly, I have too much milk and it hurts so bad.

But I hung in there and now that Nelly is older, she's hungrier, and her jaw is stronger.

It took me about a month before I could establish real breastfeeding and trust me, til now, i'm still trying to manage my supply.

But now, it's totally convenient when we go out now because I don't have to worry about running out of milk or bottles to feed.

In an ironic sense, you are trapped into being a milking machine but you do get some sort of freedom to do your own thing, just have to balance being a cow alongside your well, activities.

Baby gets all that nutrients which formula milk doesn't have and it also saves you some money.

So now that I have come out of that struggle, i'm just here to encourage those of you who are like me, have plenty of supply but really want to give up cause it's inconvenient and painful, IT GETS BETTER.

Trust me, I was ready to throw in the towel... I had standby medication to stop the feeding too.

But for those of you who find it is really taking you down to the point where you wanna do anything drastic, don't stress out. You and baby won't die from not breastfeeding.

Either way, it gets better.

To Nanny or Not To Nanny

Sunning Nelly while she was jaundiced

Those of you who know me knew what a hard time I had making a decision on whether or not to have a nanny help me out in my first month.

I went from wondering if I could do it because I did it on my own with Nate and was feeling great even though my body had just gone through some major changes - to wondering if I should give in to having some proper rest seeing that I am 5 years older than when I had Nate.

My advise is: listen to your body.

Those of you who are pregnant now and are wondering if its a necessity, I say, if you feel great and you have family support and wanna give it a go on your own, DO IT.

Every mother should experience it if you can - the pains and sleepless nights, however if you do feel extremely tired or are having a c-section birth, it will be of great advantage to have a nanny around.

These ladies, (mind you: if you get a good reliable one) are godsend.

They handle babies all the time, you can put your mind to rest and just well, rest.

This time round, I had wanted to get one but luck was not on my side and I got well _ cheated.

She never showed up and I had given her a deposit.

We got over that and decided that I should just do it myself.

But i swung from heaven to hell in my health and moods and I should have followed my instincts about this second birth and needing help and found another nanny earlier.

But I was held back by feeling like I had to do it myself... because every woman did it herself - in my grandmother's time.

But hey. That was my grandmothers time.

After 2 weeks of self care, I realized that it wasn't working for me this time.

Having to deal with mastitis, breast abscess, fever and a needle sticking up my boob and the guilt of ignoring my first born and well, barely being able to hold myself upright because of all of the above, I found a good nanny from a friend.

The next 10 days (she was here for just a short while to pick me up), I spent recovering.

It was much needed.

So much so that when she left, I cried. Because I was hormonal, and secondly, she came at the time when I was at my lowest and picked me right up.. She also treated me like her own daughter so I got emotionally attached but most importantly, by the time she had left, she had set a routine for me to pick up on for Nelly..She at that point made me feel confident to have another baby right there and then.. crazy right?..

Another thing to note is that confinement nannies not only take care of babies, they take really good care of recovering mothers as well.... She was motherly to the max.

I was up and running about in no time.

So if you are going through that same mind dingdonging process now, ask yourself if you can cope - or if not, if you can afford it, get a good recommendation or get a nanny from those agencies which you can find on the websites.

There are two that I know of but you need to book early.

I can't garuntee you get a good nanny but that's all up to our personal luck.

GPLS services and PEM confinement services.

Go look it up.

I Really Miss Shooting Sports...

I'm getting that shooting itch a little now.

The one thing I really miss shooting is sports..

Was just going through my old stuff from 2010 where there were plenty of sporting events and realised that I actually have a lot of fun being outdoors.

Both doing sports itself and better still, shooting it for work.

Here's Another Blast From The Past

Young Nate

Was browsing through photos of the farm from last year when I found this picture of Nate wanting to take a family photograph at the airport before I left for Timor Leste for an assignment about Leprosy.

This was taken on the 3rd of July 2010.

Where has all that time gone?

Thank goodness we have images to remember the past by.

Facetime

YAY!!! Finally the Nelly has started to respond to me!!!

She's laughing and smiling all the time.

She even started coo-ing a little.

Here's a picture of Nate and his dear friends all over her during our lunch date today.

Needless to say, Nelly was happy with all that attention and the kids felt accomplished at making a baby smile.

I on the other hand, was just happy that everyone was happy so I could eat my kway teow soup.

Emo Mom

Ok. I dunno what is with me but I always feel my heart melt when I see Nate happy.

Really, this feeling is magnified because Nate is such a sweetheart.

He never throws any tantrums if I say NO.

He is a kid and children love to play. They also love toys.

When I refuse to buy something for him, he is fine with it.

Today, I couldn't contain my happiness for him.

I think I have been quite nazi with him during his early years.

Anyway, today, while we were discovering the new Katong 112 mall just 2 minutes from our place, we found the huge open water play area outside the food court.

I knew that nate really wished that he could play there.

I had Nelly and it wasn't too hot. Only problem was that we went unprepared.

So seeing that he didn't even fuss about wanting to play, I decided to reward him with 45minutes of fun.

I dragged myself and my pram with baby down to World Of Sports and bought nate a slightly oversized swim trunks for adults and a magic towel and off we went.

OMG. I dunno what hit me but when I saw Nate running around like a super happy energetic puppy out in the open field, I starting to sob... of course I hid behind the pram.

Anyway, emo aside, that place is AWESOME!!! Even I wanna play in it.

We will be back soon with the classmates (:

Tick Tock goes the clock

Here's one of the kids entertaining themselves for a bit. (:

Thank God i'm starting to feel more and more like myself lately.

Nelly has been an extremely good baby to date.

I'm not trying to jinx it but I have to give credit to the man up there for hearing my prayers.

I strongly believe that the second one is easier so that I can attend to my own needs which are harder second time round.

Funny how life has a way of balancing itself doesn't it?

She's not too fretful and recently has started stretching out our night feeds a little more.

Breastfeeding and latching on has been established (though i'm still over supplying her with milk) and i'm just stretching out the pumping timings to 5 over hours if I can just to try and trick the mind into thinking "hey.. we don't need so much milk.."

Well, giving birth seems like so long ago even though it's only been 2 months but sometimes, it seems really recent.

This whole adventure does play around with your sense of timing a little.

I'm losing real track of time.

And all of a sudden, Nate looks like a middle grade school student when really, he's only 5.

Where is all my time going?

But everyone who has been encouraging me is right.

It gets better with time. It does.

Cannot live without while mothering #01

Gives me hands-free options all the time.

I'm able to eat, shop, have steam-boat lunch, and work as a press photographer while using it with baby on me.

I even slung Nate with me once while I was on the way to work when a photo op came up and managed to shoot some pictures enroute to sending him off to day care 5 years ago.

I'm glad I haven't forgotten how to use one.

Nelly feels completely secure in them and sleeps easily too.

These cool designer pouches are the Pupsik ones. They are really comfy and have a sponged edge to ensure that baby is comfy.

It's interesting because i'm wearing two different sizes here (most people can fit into two sizes anyways, depending on whether you like it a little more snug or not) Small and Medium.

For those of you who are wondering, yes, i slung my first born from when he was a week old to a year old...

Thanks Carol for loaning me a few more so I can wash my old one.

Love love love.

Pop!

This photo was taken 3 to about 4 months apart from each other.

Meet my partner in crime Ching with her bub Suri who is 11 days older than Nelly.

Don't you just love these before and after photos?!

Having said that, we're gonna try for a photo a month since babies grow visually significantly obvious (sounds a bit wrong - my grammar but anyway)...

Support (thank god for it)

There is nothing more important than having the support from family/

I've been really blessed to have my parents and parents in law help me out since the day Nelly was born.

My folks have been really hands-on with the baby and more importantly, with Nate who's been patient but sometimes complains a little about being bored with school holidays currently on and nothing much to do because i'm tied down at home with the baby.

I think I would have been 10x crazier, 10x angrier and maybe 10x skinnier (well this i won't complain).

But you get the gist.

Thank you mom and dad. Really. Thank You 10x more than you know.

My Job and I are One - Happy 1st Month Nelly

I don't separate my life from my job because my job is part of life itself.

We document life as photojournalists and i'm a sentimental person.

So they both go hand in hand.

Photojournalism is experiencing life and life to me is nothing but experience.

Therefore, I guess it would be only natural to flood my hard disk space with photos of my children especially with this newborn if not once, but a couple of times a day.

So amidst my pain and while I wasn't sick or bleeding in the chest from all that breast feeding, and in my zombie state of mind, I managed to steal a couple of good moments of my daughter Nataley; during her first week of life.

I should have spent this time sleeping but when you miss this moment, you'll never get it back.

Something I have been planning to do before I was pregnant.

I'm a mother, a photographer, so why not marry those experiences to gain even more?

So to celebrate Nelly's (nickname for Nataley - in cause some of you are wondering why I seem to have 2 daughters). Here are some pictures of her in a more favourable state... the sleepy state where I can just be zen.

Hopefully I can put this to good use and earn some diaper money in the future. Otherwise it was fun.

I wished I could have done more but I was in too lousy a state.. I had so many more ideas but I guess that's one of the most difficult shoots I have faced. To be shooting when I was dealing with a wound below, on top and well... oh well. Thank God it wasn't an assignment.

Enjoy.

Happy first month Nelly.

Nate Turns 5 Today

I have been so blessed to have such a wonderful little boy as my son.

He's loving, kind, sensitive, intuitive, soft-hearted, big-hearted and fun-loving.

God Bless you Nate... you've grown so much and I hope your sister will grow up to be exactly like you. (:

About the First Child

Many people have been asking me how Nate's been doing.

The truth is, he's perfect!

Nate has been nothing less than loving and caring and like a helpful little gnome at home.

He loves Nelly so much he can't stop kissing her, and he drowns her in his onion breadth after lunch everyday before heading off to kindy.

He watches her all the time, laughing at her movements and facial expressions.

Best part is, he is totally understanding towards why i'm always sleeping or lying down or busy expressing milk.

I think the thing is, I keep him informed.

I explain to him that i'm busy carrying mei mei because she, unlike him, cannot walk. So she needs a bit of help.

He says that one day when she grows up, she may have muscles like him.. and then goes on to admire his muscles in the mirror.

And another thing is he takes everything with humour.

He laughs at me and says that i'm a cow. I threaten to then squirt him with milk.

So ... well, apart from a little bit of sensitivity from him sometimes, he's alright. No jealousy, no animosity or hate.

In fact, sometimes, he seems to be doing so well, I'm a bit worried if its normal.

Maybe we prepared him well too..

He would talk to my belly all the time and kiss it.

Now he just laughs and says.. "hey mommy you're not so fat now"

Argh he's so awesome.

I'm Not Kidding

This needle went into my boob and drew out that amount of pus. You still think boobs are sexy?

Neither am I complaining.

I just can't get used to it - even though I believe this has happened to me once. 5 years ago, so now I understand why they say Pains fade with Time.

This time however, it was prolly 10 times worse.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not whining about it but i'm just penning down my experiences just so I can get it out of my head.

I've also sadly come to a point where i'm shock-proof. Every time something hits me, i'm like "Ok bring it on, let's just get over with it now. Cry cry cry also still have to suffer..."

So here we go.

I think the bulk of my post pregnancy blues or depression was due to my overflowing supply of milk.

Most people have their milk supply come in a few days after delivery. Mine comes in IMMEDIATELY.

And when it does, everything gets engorged. I can't sleep for long cause it starts to hurt. Your boobies get hardened and the nipple area is swollen. Everything is hyper sensitive.

Your shirt is always wet because you leak, you suffer from cracked nipples and when you put on your bra, you kinda dread the fact that the healing skin will stick to the fabric and if you don't there's no support.

Let me tell you another secret. The thing that's left out of glamourous articles on breast feeding. There's this term called the Let Down.

When milk starts coming in from your system, you feel like needles are piercing your veins. I kid you not.

Mine felt like that all the time. And I felt like I was constantly going through an electric shock.

This left me in tears. I was stuck in a horrible place where I wasn't able to use a pump to express the milk because it would over stimulate the flow. (It's all a supply and demand thing). And if I didn't hand express it out, it would be engorged. It's a fine balance almost impossible to achieve.

I was constantly consoled and told that after a week or two, it just gets better because your hormones withdraw, you don't walk around with heavy huge oversized breasts, the flow balances itself out and suddenly all the elements will click.

I had many days of tears where I would just sob myself to sleep. I had days where I would turn weak in the knees when I saw fresh blood staining the whole of my right breast because the nipple was bleeding. It was scary shit.

I just couldn't move or do it. I found myself sobbing and apologizing of course, for sobbing in front of my gynae who suggested I take Furosemide, a Diuretic pill to cut my flow of water.

Can you imagine that? I had to cut my supply medically when people are trying to increase their milk supply. I felt so bad but it was necessary.

I was also ready to give up. I have 2 Dostinex pills which cuts the supply altogether. I've hid them cause i'm not a quitter. But i detest not quitting.

As other post natal moms were getting better, I felt myself falling off the charts. I was feeling weaker and worse by the week. I was sleep deprived and just hanging on by the thread, one day, I started shivering.

This didn't make sense to me because I was actually starting to feel a little more in sync and things were starting to form a routine.

The milk supply had become steadier and I was able to empty the breast at 3hr intervals without leaking down my shirt or all over the house.

I realised I had the chills and fever. This I had with Nate 5 years ago. I just took a panadol, saw the doctor the next day for medication and antibiotics because I suspected it was mastitis.

On a side note, by the second week, I have about 60bags of frozen breast milk of about 120ml each at least.

She made me, however, run to the lactation consultant for a check.

It was there that the consultant spotted a very hard and huge lump at the bottom of the left breast

Alarm bells went off. She rushed me to the breast surgeon because she said it was prolly an abscess - a milk duct that was filled with pus and infected.

That explained the fever and the chills and body aches.

When you have to take care of your baby with these problems it's close to impossible because you can hardly stand up straight yourself. I was feeling awful. I had Nate to love as well. I was NOT enjoying one bit of my new baby. I was sad. Depressed. I hated it. Every waking moment was spent tending to the breast.

I never suspected that abscess because I was in too much pain overall to realize any more new pains.

Plus, I am able to empty the boob all the time so there was no reason for any stuck ducts.

So over at the surgeon, he did an ultra sound and found that there was indeed an abscess and told me he needed to extract it!!! With a needle!!! OH GOD HELP ME.

I tried bargaining to get some pain relief but there was no such thing. I just had to suck it up. At this point I was more worried that no one was home to send nate for his end of year concert and I just needed to get it over and done with.

I guess when you are a mother of 2, there's really really less time for yourself no matter what shitty situation you're in.

I maanged to buy some time to make phone calls to arrange for my brother to send nate to the concert while I get my pus extracted and then I would drive myself over and join the party.

Because life goes on doesn't it?

So yes the pus was extracted and i'm just waiting for the next thing to happen to me.

I dodged the bullet or shall I say needle yesterday at the follow up check up as less pus had formed and the meds were working so he's extended my anti-biotics intake for a few more days just to make sure.

I don't think I would have done very well with another needle.

I've already got the chills, the fever, the mastitis, the abscess, and oh I forgot to mention now diarrhea from the anti-biotics.

Awesome right?

Whatever you're doing right now, you win. I'm about to stare down at my chest as I express my milk once again.

I've said this before.

All the time I spend expressing milk and tending to my breast, I could learn like a new language.

Real Life

Sorry.. Both Parents Are Photojounalists So Pictures May Be A Little Raw For Some But This Is Life - Literally.

So Now I Know

The tacky peach color hasn't changed since 5 years ago - and that silly lamp!

My contractions going off the charts

At this point I was wondering if they would allow CNN to run in the background

Remember a post before this, I talked about my ding-donging decision making process to induce or not to induce because of my poor physical state? Yes so I did. But i'm never doing it again unless I really really have too for the next kid. Yes I would like at least 3 but I need to recover from this for at least 2-3 years... God willing.

After discussions with my doc, she said that if the cervix was dilated, we could prolly go ahead with inducing labour.

That would involve sticking a pill into your cervix and let the hormones do their thing. But if the cervix isn't ripen, the pill would be ineffective. The thing about inducing labour is that once you start the process, there's no turning back.

You are allowed a maximum of 2 pills and if nothing happens, you need to proceed for an emergency C-section to deliver the baby.

You can't go home and wait for labour to start because there is NO telling how fast the rate of absorbtion is and if the uterus suddenly contracts, its harmful for the baby.

What I failed to realize or maybe I was too impatient to listen carefully and know that these contractions that come with the hormone inducing pills are fake. Which means they are WAAAAAAAAAAY more painful and acute than normal labour contraction pains.

This is different from oxytocin which is given to augment labour already underway. This doesn't increase the labour pain. It's a mild drug to just help speed up the process a little...

Slap me now right?!

Finally after 2 weeks of waiting, I was dilated about 1 cm and the cervix had softened and we decided to head in on a Tuesday night.

Funny cause on the way in a nurse asks me why i'm inducing and she had done it and it hurt so horrible. But she said that since I was opting for epidurial I would be fine.

Pill goes in and slowly the contractions come.. it's ok.. cramping but not that bad.. and i'm still at a centimeter and a half. I'm coping ok and trying to sleep but nothing happens really. Then about 2.5 hours later, I suddenly feel this sharp pains come in all of a sudden. No warning. Just suddenly and it becomes unbearable. I try to breathe it off and use my mind power, whatever I could think of. Nothing happens. It just gets worse.

At this point my whole body starts shaking madly from the pain and I loose control of my muscles. I managed to crawl into bed and curl up and tell my husband not to be offended because I know he wants to help me but at this moment, just don't touch me. Poor guy. I know I found energy to apologise to him for that.

"Give me the epidurial now."

Nurse comes in and checks me, at this point, I think i'm so far into labour because the pains were like NOTHING I have ever felt. At this point, I think to myself... dodging bullets in Thai Red Shirt protests were NOTHING compared to what I was feeling now. This is a thousand times scarier!! If a doctor offered to knock me out unconscious at this point I would gladly accept.

"What? i'm still only 1.5 cm??? No progress after all that pain?"

"Sorry but I can't give you the epidurial yet because its too early. You have to be firther dialted. You just have to bare with it a little!" These words were confusing and not very comforting but at the same time something I kind of needed to hear because it makes you stronger.

She did give me an injection in the thigh just to take the edge off.

It worked for like 10 minutes and I was told that if the pain gets unbearable again, call the nurse.

10 minutes later, I start to bleed heaps and the pain seems to get worse.

I pray non stop, I think of Jesus being sacrificed on the cross and being stoned and think that what i'm going through is nothing compared to Him but it worked for 2 minutes.

"Sorry nurse I really tried to bare with it but its just horrible.. kill me now please!"

She checked me again and said that the sudden pain increase is because the cervix had suddenly doubled its dilation - see what I mean by inducing and the absorbtion rate?! It's not natural.

"Ok we can give you the epidurial, let's call the doctor."

They tell me he will be here soon and I ask if he's in the building and they tell me NO but not too worry because he is very quick.

I dunno why but then I go on to ask "Really? What car does he drive?!"

Anyway so long story short, he comes, gives me the epidurial and 20 minutes later I was myself again. I could open my eyes for prolonged periods of time.

Epidurial is Happydurial.

A couple of hours later, my pretty dainty doctor comes in as my Happydurial wears out but I have a little more strength from being able to nap and 2 pushes later, Nataley (who was then nameless) was out.

I never ever felt love at first sight but that morning, I did.

All pains were quickly washed away and once again I got to look at placenta and all, feel the amniotic sac that baby had been living in and hug that baby girl.

Of course the love at first sight was again interrupted with the first thought upon seeing the goo on her, "Oh she's so ugly... but she's mine!!!" ... then the love at first sight began..

But ask me again if i am going to induce birth? I would rather not.... Its too painful to do it... for me at least.

Influx of posts and Images

Bare with me while I flood the social network with photos and notes about the little one but I can't help it. I'm gushing and totally in love right now.

3-Weeks Ago, A Nameless But Very Loved Little Girl Arrived

On November 19, 2011 at 0850hrs, this little dainty featured being came out of my body.

Til now, two babies later, I still can't believe that something so human and perfect can form within our bodies...

I guess that's why they call it the miracle of life. (: We didnt' have a name for the longest time. It was always meant to be Roxy or Joni or something rocker-like. But Nate insisted on calling her something starting with the letter "N". I told him the words "Naughty, Nutella and Nice" started with the letters "N".

Then it got narrowed down to "Natasha", "Sasha" or "Nataley".

So yes a week later, she started to look too much like Nate to be a Roxy or a Sasha and we ended up with a Nataley Tan.

So let me introduce you to Nataley Tan, Born on October 19, 2011, at 085ohrs at 37 weeks weighing 3115 grammes

This Is Me Preggy With A Red Nose And Proud Of It

And just like that, my 37 weeks of pregnancy came and went.

Funny how we can always look back at and event and say to ourselves “On hindsight, it wasn't all that bad now was it?”

I had blogged earlier about how having a second one is nothing like the first.

Indeed every pregnancy is different.

This time round, I had severe sciatica which is basically the compression of your major nerves cause deep pains and for my case, my muscles were later immobilized because they were overworked on top of trying to survive the nerve compressions. I pretty much wasn't able to move much after 7months.So this led me to a challenging last leap during the gestation period.

I had an option of inducing labour by the time I had hit week 37, where all the baby's vitals are developed and of course, barely able to walk or put on my underwear without falling over, I opted for it.

There were many days during the decision making process where I would go back and forth and back and forth on whether it was right to induce.

What if baby didn't wanna come out? What if it failed after two tries of inserting a pill to induce labour and I had to go for an emergency “C” section delivery?!

“… but Nate was born 37 weeks and he turned out fine... oh but this one is slightly bigger than Nate, and I don't wanna give birth to a HUGE baby. It's too terrifying... oh but what if i'm not ready to let go of my free and easy lifestyle _ whatever is left of it?..... Terence did remind me that I hardly had a life at that point with my paralysing pains anyway.”

So I induced. But more on that in the next note.

This time round, I had made it a point to enjoy and embrace the whole pregnancy experience.

Truth is, I was really young and unprepared for the first birth. No one around me had kids or was married. It was scary and I was too busy trying to be normal and lead a young and carefree lifestyle.

I don't regret Nate one bit. He is such a sweetheart and I love him to death but at that point in my life, I didn't see it that way. There were many struggles within myself where I was proud of where I was but at the same time I would feel sometimes that I was robbed of my freedom to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now I don't even know what that word means. And it really doesn't matter.

Of course that's all different now. Everything was planned (and then unplanned due to work and then planned again, and then eventually accepted), I did enjoy all the little things that pregnancy brought...all that movement in the belly.. though I still think it's weird and can never get used to it. But mother nature can be such a bitch sometimes and throws curve balls at you. You think you've been through it all but man, this one was different, the pains, the aches, the hormones, my physical strength which was not as great as during my first pregnancy by the end of term. Even the shape of my stomach was different.

Maybe the first was just a way of preparing me for the second. And if I had gone through what I had to this time, the first time round, I think I would have been really put off.

Truth is, I was more fearful overall despite having gone through it before... because I knew more this time round. I was more worried, more paranoid, more cynical but at the same time more ready?! I even believed that I wouldn't be so lucky the second time round with the first baby being so perfect. Look at Nate. He's awesome. Sweet, gentle and kind. Strong and fun and my whole pregnancy #1 went on smoothly without a glitch. I was even playing scrabble in the delivery room while in labour!

This time round however, I was sobbing all night with fear the night before delivering. Preparing myself for something a little less wonderful... maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the extra knowledge of what was to come. But thank God things went fine. And I still believe that God has blessed me.

Perhaps it wasn't mother nature. Perhaps it was His way of teaching me strength when I asked to be a stronger person. He threw me things that were very hard but not beyond my control so that I could find strength and get through it.

Perhaps it was His way of teaching me patience... because at the end of the day, through all my cursing and swearing, I knew deep inside, aside from all the fears that things were going to be ok and it would all pass. But man. Be careful what you ask for because when you ask for it, you're so gonna get it. I guess I never really enjoyed life on the straight path. I love adventure and curve balls so ..... yeah...

Aren't they funny

One of the play dates from earlier on.

The truth about number 2

I refuse to put up a more glamorous photo of myself. Sorry but this is the reality of it all.

Well, when you get pregnant with a second kid you are definitely over the moon.

Yes. Kids are blessings.

But somehow you can't help but notice your "over the moon reaction is a little more down to earth."

1. You are more tired.

2. You know the real work that goes into it.

3. The sleepless nights.

4. The first few months of disrupted sleep.

5. The first few months of disrupted sleep coupled with dealing with the feelings of another child.

6. The pains of breastfeeding. - Yes this isn't over-rated guys. Think pink milk because of bleeding nipples.

7. The birthing process is forever implanted in your mind hence bringing about more fear prior to the second birth.

8. You take many many photos and tell yourself to take the photos that you never took the second time round.

There are some advantages of being pregnant the second time round though..

1. You are more tired but have more excuses because you have another kid to mind.

2. You already know the real work that's expected of you and can CHEAT the system this time round.

3. You have the iPad to keep you company through disrupted sleep.

4. The iPad to distract your other child.

5. You know that drinking a coffee a day is NOT A BIG DEAL.

6. The amount of time and effort spent breastfeeding, you could have spent learning YET ANOTHER language.

7. You cheat the system and ask to be induced once the baby is ripe

8. You get to pick and clean your belly button because everything is stretched opened. YEAH pretend to be grossed out but you wish you could reach those areas don't you?

9. You still don't bother taking pictures that you forgot to take the first time round but tell yourself ...bah. whatever. it didn't really matter.

Anyways, having said that, i'm in my 38th week now of growing another person in my body.

I can safely say that indeed, every pregnancy is different.

It is Not true that the second baby comes earlier and quicker because Nate came out at 37 weeks, just two days after the mucus plug dislodged itself.

I'm not 38 weeks and the plug left my body 4 days ago. Still nothing.

This time round, I have been suffering from severe sciatica pains. NOT FUN. And I prolly worked so hard that my muscles (according to my physiotherapist) shut down the moment I lay down for 10minutes. I am unable to move after that.

But I guess its the home run now and i'm pretty much over the pains and complaints and just waiting for it all to end.

At this point i'm feeling so tired I wonder how i'm going to muster up any energy to "push" the fella out of my system but I think of Nate and his enthusiam to having another member of the family and that kinda wakes me up!

See you at the finish line man. Hope I clock a personal best this time round!

Nate is super chill

I hope my next kid is just like Nate.