My room view

A hummingbird searches for Nectar from my hanging plants in the balcony. (don't mind the watermark. i actually filed this for work)

I am woman hear me ROAR!

This is darling Carol. Don't be fooled by her petite stature. She just survived a major accident with just some abrasions from the seat belt and walked away with a wide and pretty smile knowing that she has a second shot at life! Well done babe and wonderful attitude. This one's for you. Remember you walked away from this one! So don't think about what could have been anymore ok? (: HUGS!

Otherside of the Lens

can you tell how awkward i'm feeling?

I hate taking photos of myself when i'm conscious about it. That's why I became a photographer in the first place. To be on the other end of things. So when asked to take a photo of ourselves in an spot that's typically "our" country, as part of a compilation of photographs of photographers in the region for our ex-boss, the only place I could think of was the "merlion park". I felt so corny and embarrassed standing in front of it, I had to stand behind it. What makes the whole thing strange is that I have been spending all my photography life making photos of tourists, fireworks at that place when we have to illustrate pictures of the city-state's economic results or tourism numbers. So weird....shudder.. but here goes.. one for the album.. Have you taken yours yet? (now im inspired to start an album asking everyone to send in their merlion shots... you're gonna get pictures of people "sticking their hand out to catch the merlion's spit, opening their mouths to look like the merlion's spewing into their mouths!) Will think about it.

Silhouette me

I was so happy to have one of these done at a friend's party! So talented, the artist.

Fooling around

Nate can never keep a straight face for photos nowadays.

I love your smell

The day after I returned from Padang, a two week assignment, Nate came running to me in the airport. This is just one of the ways children (or at least my child) reacts to me when I leave for any extended period of time. Nate would either Hug me real tight and rest his chin on my shoulder for more than 10 minutes and hug me really tight when I try to let him go, or he would stare at me with some anger towards me for "abandoning" him.

The reaction at the airport where he ran towards me was quite novel for me. And later that night, he just sat up in bed, staring at me, and poking me with his finger as if to see if I was real. Too tired to keep me awake and I think he dozed off after a while anyways. That reaction may sound quite normal to many already with kids (it was new for me), but I got the real unexpected reaction the next morning when I was dressing up for work.

As I was half dressed, nate came and started hugging me with his cheeks on my belly and smelling me, not saying a word. He also started sucking on his lower lip ( a sign of distress ). He wouldn't let go. For a whole 15 minutes and he even tried to wiggle his was into my "womb" area. I take it as a very primate reaction... trying to settle into your mother's womb, the comfort zone. How bizzare.

Introducing..

• Wagyu Beef Patty, all 120g of it, no fillers • white button mushrooms, salad leaves, fresh tomatoes, cheese slice • all ‘kiapped’ in a lightly toasted, sesame-encrusted, handmade bun • gherkin relish & crunchy wedges by side

I had a hellofatime last night at The Garden Slug. Where Sophia, most kind, gave me a taste of heaven. After a long trip away for work where all we ate was rice and assam sauce, this Wagyu Burger woke all the taste buds plus those I never knew extisted. It was perfect. Juicy, just the right amount of taste to make you go yummmmmm and still kept classic so it's not overwhelming. Plus the people of TGS are super which completes the whole experience. So if you're wondering what to have for lunch, dinner or even breakky? Head down there now with your dogs and cats and don't forget to call me! Contact Details : The Garden Slug 55 Lorong L Telok Kurau, #01-59/61 Bright Centre, Singapore 425500

Tel/ Fax: 6346 0504

Open Daily: Mon - Tues 6pm-10pm Wed - Sun 10am-10pm Public Hol 10am-10pm

Thoughts and conversations

I was talking to a friend the other day about going on assignments for a while in not so comfy conditions and I couldn't help but feel a little empty when I came home after that assignment in Padang. Nothing to do with being screwed up in the mind of depressed or anything of that sort. And don't get me wrong, there's nothing more wonderful than friends and family. I guess the feeling of suddenly returning to normalcy from where we had nothing for 2 weeks just hit me. I was with my brothers (the team) every single day. We did everything together, roughed it out, yelled at each other, laughed, farted, ate, and got strandered as well together. We also processed the whole assignment together with its momentum of dialectics together. I wonder how the soldiers who live together for months at the battle field do it.. Having said that, any experience that comes your way is a growing experience. now for more!!! RAWR!!

Notes to self:

I was there too many days so I put it all in point form in my head. This is what I usually do, remember important things or quirky things that strike me daily. Just after the F1, I was sitting in the office one evening when I suddenly felt dizzy. I thought it was just me feeling jet lagged from F1 coverage where we were on european time, sleeping at really bad hours. Next thing I knew, the TV started to swing and the fake wall between Dow Jones and AP started creaking. Not having much confidence in this 20 over year old building (or is it 30) and being stuck on the 32nd floor, I decided to go downstairs and see what's happening. It was a tremor. Must be indonesia i thought. And sure it was. An earthquake had struck Padang, leaving a trail of tremors in SIngapore and Malaysia. Man.. the earth is really tired. So i found myself on standby to Padang, after standing down from coverage in Manila.

Sept. 31, 2009

- told to standby for jakarta - to run the desk there while everyone heads to Padang

- WTF?! i'd feel really sore about it.. shooting batik fashion shows while everyone was out in the action.

- Told to standby so I pack for earthquake zone - expect nothing there

- Wet wipes, check. Batteries - Check, DC-AC adapter, Check, 5 shirts and 3 pants including the one i'm wearing. OH and that time of the month has to happen NOW. Deal with it.

Oct. 1, 2009

- Maye-e goes to Budget Terminal finding Tiger Airways cancelling her noon flight.

- Many journalists are stranded too.

- I get a go ahead to take a chartered flight with channel 7 for USD$2000 a pop

- Go to another airport chartered flight gets canned.

- Beg my way onto another chartered flight which started its engines and stopped again cause Padang was closed for SBY.

- Feeling like throwing up from all that waiting and lack of oxygen in the Fauker plane.

- See the fauker and decide that maybe taking the boat is better. Looks like it's gonna fall apart,

- Flight technician gives me the safety booklet - Nice. i think but instead he tells me TO FAN MYSELF WITH IT.

- End up in Padang Raining and see Dita - hasn't slept for 2 days and is crabby.

- Sleep on restauran Floor.

- Sleep with socks on and passport on in case of tremors.

Oct. 2, 2009

- Wake at 5am and see Fadlan praying

- Have a super sweet tea and brush my teeth with mineral water by the drain

- Take a cold shower. NO running water. Flies and insects in water, Use Headlamp (consider switching it off so i don't see all that bad stuff)

- Keep mouth closed while scooping water over my head.

- Freezing but clean

- Drop my clean underwear onto the wet horrible floor.

- Put back old underwear on.

- Didnt tell anyone

- start of a long day.

- We get driver each.. we go around the city and the smell of bodies in collapsed buildings is bearable but not nice

- Wait for a while, shoot, drive around, shoot

- Go back to file from generators and sat phones.

- News of survivor getting pulled out

- Shoot in scrum. Got picked pocketed and lost my nokia

- People lost lives Phone is nothing

- Good thing i got picture from that scrum

- File, edit eat rice and asam

- Bathe with torch and mouth closed again

- Sleep on floor

Next day.. same thing.

Oct. 3, 2009

- Same drill, shoot more.

- See nicky loh.. What are the odds of that

- Fight with SCDF

- Think they are idiots anyway

- Get wet and grumpy in rain but happy from shooting

Oct. 4, 2009

- Think that binsar's pictures are awesome.

- Help with editing

- more smell of dead bodies

- We move to Takana Juo - like sardines in a room

- Shower is cleaner but still no flush

- Find out my driver Hendri has 2 girlfriends

- I'm entertained and think that his two women are silly not to know of each other's existence

- We eat some proper food and i'm happy to see Eric Talmadge again

- Smell dead body everywhere now.. on clothes on shoes... start thinking about ghosts.

- Too tired to think

- Woken up by morning prayers at 5am from next door neighbour whom may be that terrorist that was arrested at our hostel.. Yes we were living with him around and didn't know it.,

Oct. 5, 2009

- Schools try to re-open and I see Josh from UNICEF after a long time

- Now he's got 3 kids?!!! Men ... they don't do the giving birth.

Oct. 6, 2009

- We go to Pariaman with Save The Children

- My heart is broken when i see the kids standing on the roadside with houses broken behind them, begging for money

- I get a call from Greg and i'm happy to take a moment out of work

- We distribute aid and see happy faces

- Humbled

Oct. 7, 2009

- I decide that Indonesians are best. They can be grieving and yet give you a smile when greeted. They even make sure you've got food and water.

- I am humbled again

- I'm forgetting what day is what at this point.

- Check email for the first time and get angry at all the Photoplay report clogging up my emails

- We eat normally for once and yet our appitite is gone

Oct. 8, 2009

- We stare at each other in the mornings and wonder what to shoot next

- We laugh for an hour before sleeping and realise we've been doing that every night.

- We start to enjoy the team and wonder why we don't feel the after shocks everyone's talking about

- I decide i will die if there is another earthquake cause im too tired at night to feel anything

- I step into mud after hiking with binsar to the landslide.

- I can't help but think the place is beautiful

- I think singaporeans are spoilt and sheltered.

- Eric leaves.. feel sad and i start craving Sushi.

Oct. 9, 2009

- Getting worried about looking boring shooting the same stuff everyday.

- Thank god the marines are around. Now i can go on Helicopters again.

- I stick with Rebecca from USAID and we walk the broken streets. We get offered what looks and feels like stale donut but appreciate the sugar in it. ENERGY

- We get offered coconuts after shooting and can't seem to finish drinking. So much juice i think someone is secretly topping it up when im not looking.

- I shoot friday prayers without realising it was FRIDAY.

- Sleep on the CH-53E Super Stallion and still can't get over its name.

- Feels like tsunami again

- Can't wait to shower and listen to Boim's jokes once again.

- Talk to greg and think of sushi

Oct. 10, 2009

- More helicopter rides.

- Am burnt from the sun

Oct. 11, 2009

- i don't shoot. I am saturated and want to go home

Oct. 12, 2009

- I shoot and wait for my flight the next day.

- We eat KFC?! too weird.

Oct. 13, 2009

- Home bound and i really miss my team AP.

- I don't recognise nate but i remember his smile (:

F1 came and went

The view from Swissotel The Stamford of the F1 track

Vincent Thian, me, Dita Alangkara and Mark Baker - Team AP

Just like that.

However, this time round, we had a bigger and badder, and even better team. Things seemed a lot less hyped, which is a given since it's not the first time anymore. That big assignment that everyone was kinda dreading and waiting to get over came and went too quickly. The assignment left us all jet lagged as usual as we'd sleep at 3 in the morning and wake close to noon. Joan, did a fantastic job with the F1 Rocks concert coverage. It really paid to have reliable stringers do the other related assignments when we were understaffed. This year we had Kang Li and Joan. Both wonderful photographers who really contributed to the team. So it's 2 F1s down and 3 more to go. I hope we can keep the team next year. Now that everyone has left, Singapore is all quiet again. And thank god for 24hr steam boat restaurants.

Sensational

If you are a photographer, you will find this all so familiar and funny.

I'm still rolling on the floor laughing.

Out and about

Sorry for the silence. i've been away on assignment for the past 12 days in Padang, Indonesia which was hit by a massive earthquake. Will head home tomorrow and updates soon to come. I miss everyone and thanks for all the happy messages. Apologies if I missed any calls or messages or emails. We have limited connection here. See y'all soon.