truth sinks in slowly...

Obedience means marching right on whether we feel like it or not. Many times we go against our feelings. Faith is one thing, feeling is another.
Dwight Lyman Moody (18371899)

I saw this quotation from Foolish Thing's blog.

The more I try to fight to go my way, the harder it gets.

Makes me wonder how Jonah could have stand the stench in the stomach of the big fish.

And I just have to wait...

my blood pitting day.

As a good friend puts it - 1 : 0 Buddy

Hoooo!

So I had a showdown with the new director. It was unfortunate it had to happen. However, it only goes to show how much I've pent up my fustrations that I have to unleash it on him.

Low EQ people who dont understand something call people dynamics.

This is the period of the year where not only we have more jobs to clear, and we are equally short handed as well in terms of analytical work.

I don't expect some integrated personal to understand how advertising works. this isnt another freaking IT company for crying out loud. We have professional people doing creative work.

My first showdown. Draining but some what worth the pain. To get the message across I'm not someone you can bully.

Not so entirely that I oppose what he's suggesting to implement. but at least have the couresty to ask people how they feel and what they think.
And not wholesale bring whatever was implented in that IT company.

In anycase - 3 months is all my heart has. If situations dont improve, Im gone.

Im tired. of being sandwiched, of stupid people who dont know they are stupid, of people who pretends to know but dont know.

there is no wrong with not knowning things. but there is absolute every wrong with trying to let people think you know it all.

change is the only constant...

In an extreme case of exhaustion, I kinda fell sick today.

Everything - moving office, to nasty client.

Sleep really does wonders.

Now that I think I've decided to move on, let's sit and wait for the next 3 months to see how things progress.

It's gonna get really interesting...

------

Some people are emotionally drained to the point it becomes physical draining.

And they won't even know that is the case.

We throw our hands in the air saying it's life and people are like that : self-serving, self-protecting...
Irony that God gives us the choice to be different. Be in the world and not of the world. If each of us choose not to be of those in the world, how much more can be accomplished.

And yet, it sad to work with people who know God but does otherwise. They fear for their job and bosses than anything else.
For this, I have no respect with such people.

That was just group one.

Group two are people who likes to come and go and make others at their disposal.

Because in their life, there was never a true friend but those who came and went. They themleves not having people to learn from does the same by coming and going away...

Actually I'm only refer to one person... but it does apply to some people.

...

Sometimes I wonder, can people really change. Would they detest their state so much that it propels them to move, or stay the way they are?

another monday.

I think the comment made by the teacher on sunday is really true : (my paraphrase)
A real christian fellowship is one that has the Word centered - and not dominated by anyone who is more outspoken or just sitting around and makan.
A true fellowship is in the Spirit, in His word.

Hebrews 10:
24and let us consider how (EC)to stimulate one another to love and (ED)good deeds,

25not forsaking our own (EE)assembling together, as is the habit of some, but (EF)encouraging one another; and all the more as you see (EG)the day drawing near.

I think I've heard this used before and was quite aprehensive about it. Even back then it felt a bit threatening to have people qoute this verse.

After all these years, I got a clear view of what this meant.

The writer of Hebrews wrote this with the intention of encouraging the believers to stay in the faith. Many of them were under much pressure to return to their old ways as they were persucuted for their faith in Christ. This is much of a parallel to how their predecessors were crying out that they were better off in Egypt.

The subject matter isnt verse 25. Verse 24 & 25 are complete as one now that I've concluded. The importance is how to be there to encourage one another to hold on and hang on to the word.

--------------

I'm quite disappointed. It doesnt seem like any sign that this fellowship is one that wants to build their spiritual life on word of God, but rather on feelings and emotions.

Are my expectations really that high of wanting and desiring to be with fellow believers who can exhort the Word of God?
Is it really MY expectations so to speak? That the word is never enough, that I'm always parched and thirst for His word?

How can I let this set me back... when He has brought me this far.

i love to go on leaves...

well deserved rest.

I took leave today to attend Precept Conf. It was nice to just to be around even though it wasnt much work that I help out with.

And its nice to work with older but more experienced ladies. Observing the way they talk, their actions... etcs.

The introductions to the different materials, and testimonies from the different leaders were awesome.

It's only with events like such that you can truely borden your view and how there are people out there who desires to teach the word. The sense of urgency wanting to teach the people to read and discover the word for themselves...

...

While it was unplanned, i think i did some what enjoyed the bbq outing with the gals. sometimes not expecting much repeaps more...

then again, im still at a standstill. after all, im quite neither here nor there in the ministry/cell...

How ah...

itchy itchy...

A combination of allergy to alcohol and women's monthly best spells big trouble...

Hopefully the blood test comes back normal.

Moral of the story - don't be giam beng okay?

....

At least I'm getting some rest today. Although it was quite irritating to be woken up by a call from someone I dont really want to hear from.

Some more work to do before I can go do some of my own stuff...

grrr. the pains and joys of work.

rant per view

For some strange reasons which I havent figured out, this is always the time of the year when things in my life (so far) takes a turn and often topsy turvy.

I'm really upset at lot of things.
Like why can't I be in a job that I like and things go smooth i.e. don't have idiots around who talk like they know everything, and politics.
Like why can't I find a guy who's decent and nice
Like why most people choose to be shallow and avoid talking about sensitive issues in church
Like why can't I learn to talk to people who have more intellect since that the lack of such talents is causing my mind to detoriate
Like why I can't get decent advices and the stupid "its life" conclusion which in the first place I wouldn't have to ask you cos I already know that
Like why bootlickers can survive around, while hard works like me work twice as hard but never usually get there.


WHY?

Again, I've started to ask why why why again.

I've been so tired, mentally drained, emotionally slight damaged.


So where are you my soulmate? Do you even exist?


>_<