Sunday, April 30, 2006

In His Time...

It's strange to be at the crossroads again. Maybe it is really true that the things happening at my age are the things that is suppose to have it course to run. God's grace compels me so much, that it would be hard to miss it!

Spending time watching movie with a friend, chatting till wee hours, and giggling over crushes. It was a truely liberating feeling which a friend has reminded me. I have not had such good fun since eons ago.
Laugh and laugh and laugh! Feels good having to start finding back the real me.. and feeling normal.

We've talked about so many things, of which I had to bring it upfront and accept the truth. Coming clean is really good for the soul.

I do need to confront the things in my life that I've simply left aside thinking that it will go away.

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Take The Lead is so hot! Antonio Banderas is so hot hot hot!

I cant believe it too!

However, I'm in for the dance part mainly. Antonio Banderas was like the bonus. Hahhaha

In His Time, In His Time. He makes all things good, in His Time

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Happy...

I prayed for something, and I got more than what I prayed for.

While on the way back home in the cab, I remembered that I prayed for fellowship. Cell or something which I could relate and feel home or comfortable with.

Before that, I realise and am convicted that I didnt need a mentor. God will be my mentor.

And today, He just showed me again that He has already given me my family. And He has been providing me with the people I need who I can relate to.

I wish I could cry, but the emotions inside are really going to burst out and flow out soon!!!

Because I only see it now that actually He has already given me a lot more than I've asked.

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It's been a long while since I actually went out and felt like myself. Felt so... liberating... that I can be myself and just go there and laugh and laugh and share and be open.

I used to think I am 99% transparent to everyone - who you see me at home is where I am else where. But after chatting with someone, I realise I'm actually far from 99%. Maybe only 50%.
I guess its really walls that I've build up over the years. Failures, pains, hurts - and not knowing how to go about handling it. If the last 6 years was a period that I need to learn how to grow up and handle life's pain, I better look foward and see how the next many years how I will be reacting.

Learning how to forgive myself, to love myself, to love those around me, to express it out. Learning to forgive others and let go. Learning to see others in God's value.
And learning to accept myself. Because this is me, made by God and no one can change it. No one.
And learning to have fun and be silly.

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God answered my prayers regarding work. For a very long time, I really dont understand why things are happening.
Instead of having a solution which I always wanted, I got something more. I got to see a reflection of my values of work. And I'm shown that I havent entirely reflected how Christ would have done it.
And God in His mercies is directing me back to where I should have been heading.

If not, I would have really gone the way others have done it. And its not too late to turn back now and undo it.

I never thought its possible to be real and actually have integrity at work. Now that I've seen a living testimony of that happening, I know I can do it. Not because of my own strength. But because this is what God really wants. To be real. Because He is Real - the Way, Truth, Life.

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I know His healings are taking place in my life and heart now. His words will really change and turn things around. If only you would stop and listen...

I wouldnt want miss this opportunity again. 6-7 years of running around seeking the wrong things might be short for some. I just dont want to waste my life anymore. And I know all is good in His hands...
All that I need... is a broken contrite heart, and one that humbly bows before the Lord God almighty.

Friday, April 14, 2006

G o o d F r i d a y

I missed out Good Friday. Overslept and woke up late.

Watched Kate & Leopold again. I wondered again if such a guy like Leopold exist in real life. After all like Kate says "You cant live in a fairytale".

I just love the quotations in the movie.

Leopold: The brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them - glory and danger alike and notwithstanding, go out to meet it.

Leopold: What has happened to the world? You have every convenience and comfort, yet no time for integrity.

Kate: And... it's a great thing to get what you want. It's a really good thing unless what you thought you wanted wasn't really what you wanted... because what you really wanted you couldn't imagine or you didn't think it was possible but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew... like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn't have to take a poll and they loved you... but you hesitated and I... uh... I have to go... I'm sorry but... I have to go!

Taken from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035423/quotes

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Overjoyed

Jars of Clay - Overjoyed

You name me
Who am i
That I should company with something so divine?
Mercy waits, overjoyed
Prospect of finding, freeing
Freeing me

Chorus:
Love is the thing this time I’m sure
And I couldn’t need you more now
The way that you saw things were so pure
Overjoyed

You name me
Entertain
Thoughts of peace can overcome anything
Mirror spins
Wicked tales
Here lies reflections of
Deceptions of

[chorus]

Missing the me from you you gave to me
I don’t like the one I have created today
Crossing nameless from the one I’ve earned
To be the one, the one you gave to me

You name me
Name me
Finding, freeing me

[chorus x 2]
Overjoyed, overjoyed

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I always loved this song. The song beautifully expresses how much of who we are that we dont deserve God's love. And yet God by His grace expressed His love for us by choosing us and never letting go.
Crossing nameless from the one I’ve earned
To be the one, the one you gave to me

From someone once worthless, a wretched soul (Amazing Grace), and yet crossing over to be the one He had in mind when He created us.

I've learnt so much at BS, and such a compelling force to really really persuit after His word.
I think my past concerns can wait...
:)

Sunday, April 09, 2006

K o r e a n drama

My folks got hooked to D a C h a n g J i n, the K o r e a n drama. So much so when I had food poisoning yesterday night, no one bothered to ask me how was I!!!=_='''.

Oh yeah the food poisoning. Got it from eating one prawn that I cooked for dinner yesterday night. I started to experience stomach and back pain. It was so painful and my stomach was bloated with gas. Took some medication but it didnt really take effect. And I puked twice - once before sleeping, and second was I was woken up by the pain.

Sigh. So much things havent done yet!

Caught parts of the show, and decided I shouldnt follow. Can get hooked man!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

new blog

blogging from a new address...
and truely leaving the world behind, embracing Jesus!