Well….a lot of time has passed since my last post at 24
weeks pregnant. Now we have a 3 month old! This post is more for myself more than anything. So many emotions and thoughts whirl
through my head regarding Levi’s birth story that I want a place to document it
so that I can go back and re-read it in the future.
As most of you already know, prior to becoming pregnant with
Mr. Levi we lost a baby through miscarriage. We were cautiously optimistic when I quickly became pregnant
once again and tears flowed the first time that we heard the heartbeat and saw
that little bean dancing on the screen.
Cory and I constantly talk about the awe and wonder of Levi’s conception. Not to get graphic here, but how God takes
sperm and an egg and intricately knits it all together to create such an
awe-inspiring miracle just takes my breath away. It’s hard to even think about without crying.
My pregnancy was pretty uneventful until about 30 weeks (not
that throwing up a lot and having the weirdest sense of smell is not
uneventful, but Levi was developing right on track and we were thankful to not
have any concerns so far regarding mine or his health). Around 28 weeks Levi started measuring
big, but the doctor wasn’t too concerned and just said that we would do a final
ultrasound around 36 weeks to measure his size to see what would be best for
his birth. Around 30 weeks I
started going in for more frequent doctor’s appointments and that is when they
noticed that my blood pressure was starting to get high. At one particular appointment my doctor
immediately sent me over to the hospital for monitoring due to the blood
pressure. Of course once I got
there and got hooked up to everything my blood pressure was completely normal
and they sent me home after a few hours of being monitored. They gave me steroid shots for Levi’s
lungs to develop faster and I was sent home to do a 24-hour urine catch. Everything came back normal. At my next doctor’s appointment (late
March) the exact same thing happened!
My blood pressure was high.
They had me lay on my side for a while in an exam room and were going to
go ahead and re-take it. However,
my doctor walked in and said she was sending me back to the hospital for
monitoring. Once again, I get to
the hospital and blood pressure is normal and all my blood work comes back
fine. They send me home to do
another 24 hour urine catch and my doctor gives me special permission to go
away for the night to a shower with college friends and start the urine catch
later that weekend. By the way,
the urine catch is used to measure the amount of protein in the urine, which
along with high blood pressure can lead to a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia. My doctor also had concerns regarding
Levi’s growth because I was continuing to measure bigger so she requested that
we go to the local children’s hospital for a Level II ultrasound to look more
closely at his measurements. At
this time we still did not have the results of the urine catch so we went to
the appointment at the hospital for the ultrasound. While waiting in the waiting room to be called for our
appointment they start making an announcement over the loudspeaker saying “Code
Black.” Well, if any of you are
Grey’s Anatomy fans “Code Black” on that show means Bomb! Agh! In this case it meant severe weather so we were hustled to
the hallway with other patients, nurses and the doctors to wait out the storms. As if we weren’t already anxious
enough! We finally get the all
clear and they start the ultrasound.
They were able to more closely look at all of Levi and get more accurate
measurements of his size. The
conclusion: He was huge! Off the charts pretty much in all areas
of growth. He was measuring as
full-term and I was only 32 weeks.
While I am there they ask me to give a urine sample so they can dip it
for the protein test and while we are waiting my doctor calls to consult with
the ultrasound doctor and they decide that I need to go back to the hospital,
but this time for good….as in until Levi was ready to be born. I was not prepared for this at
all. I thought they might put me
on bed rest at home, but I never thought that I would be admitted on hospital
bed rest until his birth. I was
beyond upset in that moment and the tears flowed freely. I couldn’t even talk to my parents on
the way home I was so upset. We
quickly went home and finished packing my things (what are you supposed to pack
for a month-long stay in a hospital?) and drove to the hospital. The hospital that I had chosen to give
birth at was out of the picture now because they did not accept admits prior to
36 weeks and did not have the best NICU.
Are you still reading?
So, April 2nd marked the beginning of our hospital
journey. I was admitted to a wing
of the hospital called the antipartum wing/high risk OB floor. The room was like a normal hospital
room, but it did have a small fridge, rocking chair, “bed” for Cory, and a
bathroom with a bathtub/shower. We
quickly decided that Cory would sleep at home during the week and would spend
one night with me on the weekends…Saturday night. This quickly became my favorite day of the week. We also quickly fell into a
routine. My day would start fairly
early because the nurse’s change shifts around 7 and would come in for
rounds. They would do blood
pressure checks/temp checks every 4 hours. Thankfully my doctor gave me bathroom privileges (meaning I
could go to the bathroom without assistance and shower as well) and told the
nurses not to disturb me at night meaning no blood pressure checks when I was
sleeping. I also got daily protein
checks, weight checks, and I had to monitor my input/output. Meaning every time I drank something I
had to write it down and every time I went to the bathroom I had to measure my
urine and write it down. I do not
miss that at all! I also received
weekly ultrasounds by a perinatologist and they would actually come to my room
every Tuesday and do them there….3D as well! Those were my favorite days as well because the doctors were
always so encouraging when they would see Levi on the screen and say how
awesome he was doing. My doctor’s
practice has 5 doctors so they would all rotate their days so I would see a
different doctor every day. I also
got to be monitored twice a day for 20 minutes so we could keep track of
contractions and Levi’s heartrate.
The nurses always claimed that Levi was such a good baby because he
monitored beautifully because he had good accelerations and moved around a lot,
but still stayed on the monitor. I
loved lying there listening to his heart rate and feeling contractions and
looking over to see how strong they were.
Cory loved this as well because the nurses would always do it at night
when he was there. There were a
few times when I had to do a 24-hour urine catch and be hooked up to an IV due
to some UTI’s, but otherwise I wasn’t hooked up to any monitors except for the
blood pressure checks and to monitor Levi. After being there for about 2 weeks my doctor finally gave
in and gave me wheel chair privileges.
I hadn’t been outside or left that hospital room in 2 weeks and I was
desperate to escape! So every
night Cory would ask the nurses for a wheelchair and would either take me
outside, by the nursery, through the pediatric unit, or just up and down the
halls so that I could get away.
Those meant so much to me!
Around 35 weeks the ultrasound doctor measured Levi at about
9 to 9.5 lbs and pretty much said that I would not be able to have Levi vaginally
because he was too big and my pelvis was too small. The ultrasound actually showed that he had moved out of my
pelvis and from being head down to being transverse and resting on my hipbone. He said ultimately it was my doctor’s
decision, but he would not allow me to labor. My doctor also agreed with this so the option of a vaginal
delivery was pushed aside and they decided that I would deliver by c-section at
38 weeks if the pre-eclampsia did not get worse before then. At 37 weeks and 4 days my daily urine
dip for protein came back elevated and my doctor decided to do one last 24-hour
urine catch. She told me not to
eat or drink anything the next day so that in case the results came back high I
would be ready for a c-section.
Cory had to work that Saturday and then went home to mow the lawn so I
was by myself for a good portion of the day. I was okay at first, but as the hours crept by I became more
and more frustrated. I just wanted
to meet my baby and I wanted to be out of the hospital (It had been 5 weeks by
this point) and I wanted to eat and drink again. I was miserable.
My whole body hurt. Finally
Cory arrived and we started to play Monopoly Deal in an attempt to distract
me. We were supposed to have the
results by 3:00 pm and now it was 5 pm and there was no news. I started planning what I was going to
have Cory get me for dinner once we had the all clear from my test
results. Around 5:45 the phone in
my hospital room rings and it’s my Doctor. She said, “Are you ready to have a baby?” I immediately started to cry and
uttered the words “Yes!” and she said she was on her way. As soon as I hung up the phone the
nurses came in the room and told me to change into a hospital gown, not to
worry about packing up my things, and brought in a wheelchair. We quickly started calling family
members and texting friends. They
wheeled me over to labor and delivery and hooked me up to all the monitors,
started the IV, reviewed my charts and worked on getting the OR staff
ready. All of my family was there
except for my dad who had to work late and we asked my doctor if she would wait
to take me back until after he arrived.
She kindly agreed and he finally arrived and we were all set. They took me back to the OR and got me
all prepped and then Cory came in and it was baby time! Levi made his debut at 8:07 pm on May
5, 2012, weighing 10 lbs and 19.69 inches long! He was completely healthy and we were completely in
love! They stitched me all up and
I was taken back to labor and delivery to be monitored while I recovered. Cory and I were both in awe of this
little miracle and were so excited to meet this little (BIG) guy. Every day of being in the hospital was
worth it!
Fast-forward to 2 weeks later and I contract a bacterial
infection at my c-section incision site.
I will save you a lot of gory details and just tell you that I had to go
back into the hospital for 1 week 2 weeks after Levi was born. I had to go to the ER twice and had to
have a surgical drain placed in my abdomen, home health services once I was
released, was on medications for 2 months, and had to have several CT’s to
monitor the infection. These were
some of the darkest and scariest moments of my life. I had to make some decisions concerning Levi (choosing not
to breastfeed) and he stayed at my parent’s house for that week that I was back
in the hospital and my mom would bring him to visit me for a few hours
everyday. This was by far way
harder than the month that I was in the hospital just because I was away from
my newborn, highly hormonal and emotional and just DONE. I was done with hospitals, doctors, nurses,
IV’s, meds and bad news. I just
wanted to be home with my husband and new baby. I wanted to enjoy these first few weeks of his life (however
hard or sleepless they might be).
Finally in July I received the all clear from both of my doctors after
having a clear CT Scan. Woohoo!
God had brought healing.
I write all this so that I won’t forget. There are so many details that I left
out or that are just too personal for the blogosphere. I write this too because I am
thankful. There was never a day
that I was in the hospital when I did not have a visitor. They never came empty-handed
either. Cherry Limeades for me,
meals for Cory, gifts for Levi, magazines, movies, nail polish, salads or
sandwiches from my favorite restaurants, cards and flowers. Friends, our home group and more
importantly our families are what kept us going. My mom was up there almost every day. Often she would just sit while I lay on
my left side. She would encourage
me. She gave me pedicures. We would talk and laugh and she would
just be there. Her presence alone
made everything better. My dad
would come after work and just sit with me and my sister would often come
during her lunch break. But it was Cory that saw me in my darkest moments. The times after everyone left when the
tears would flow and I would express my frustration. I missed him. I
missed our routine. I missed our
home. He was there for it all and
he never once complained. He got
Levi’s room all ready and ran last minute errands for me. He did my laundry and brought it to me
each week. He spent the night on a
horrible window seat that was supposed to be a “bed.” He would come right after work and stay late with me every
night. He without question honored our vows….”through sickness and
health.”
But first and foremost God brought us through. He sustained us. He brought new life and healing to our
family. He brought love, laughter
and community into a lonely hospital room. He brought times of doubt, questions and darkness and turned
them into laughter and tears of gladness. He was faithful. This song best sums it up:
“Never Once”
by Matt Redman
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
