Since he was baby Preston has had this genuine kindness and sociable demeanor. He likes to be surrounded by friends and loves to hear praise.
Preston is an extremely sweet boy. Moody, but when true Preston can shine through he is so sweet and loving. He spends a good portion of his free time drawing or coloring pictures for other people that he admires or enjoys their friendship. Classmates, cousins, grandparents and neighbors all receive Preston gifts and treasures.
Preston does have a temper though. From day 1 he despised the car seat. He would scream and scream and scream. People would say that once he could be In a forward facing seat he would be fine. Didn't work. He still hated it and threw colossal fits about being in it. Now in a booster seat he still complains about the seat belt and refuses to wear the chest strap because it is too tight.
As a baby Preston was always very needy. He was our first so it went assumed that it was because he had our complete attention. It was at the age of 18 months where I started to notice things were a little different with him. Preston didn't say any real words. And barely said any baby babble that is heard from most babies. He still could not hold up his own bottle or sippy cup and blowing was an impossible task. With a little pushing I convinced our pediatrician, who felt like I was rushing things, to help us get signed up for early intervention to help with speech therapy. He still made little progress for his age but by 2 -1/2 we had a few words like "mama-Mia" and daddy. At age 3 I enrolled him in private speech therapy where he progressed quickly and I began to think that we were in the clear for speech. By 3 1/2 he had a good vocabulary but still not as advanced as most of his peers. I took him out of speech, mainly for the cost, but I felt that he was doing well. Looking back now I wish I could have kept him in it longer.
Preston started preschool in the fall of 2011 and again I started to notice that he seemed behind both physically and mentally compared to his peers. He had difficulty learning how to use a pencil, he could not recite any of the songs or poems they learned and he was not able to sing the abc's or count. I started to get concerned again so I talked to the pediatrician about his development. They advised that he was a boy and just maturing slowly.
Year two of preschool went well. Preston was friendly and sociable and continued to be recognized as such a sweet little boy. But he was having attention problems and lacked the ability to write his letters even after one year of alphabet practice. He could finally write his name but that was about it for the first half of the year. The second half we worked harder and he could write some things if he could copy it. His preschool teachers expressed some concern and we all decided that maybe an extra year of preschool would help him and so we decided to not enroll him in kindergarten. I talked to so many people about this decision to make sure it was the right thing to do. So many people had experience with being held back or holding back their children and assured me that some kids need that extra year to mature. And then they are ready to go. I felt good about it and I had spent a good portion of time praying about it and decided to hold him back.
His pre k year he did get better at writing some letters and numbers. He still struggled with sequence things like days of the week or months of the year. He didn't know the alphabet order yet and counting past ten was impossible. I now started to notice that numbers were being written out of order and b's and d' were being confused. I still worried and again brought it to the attention of the pediatrician. She mentioned her thoughts on Preston possibly having ADD but not wanting to fully diagnose him without seeing his progress in kindergarten. My other worries were waved and most people I talked to always assured me that he would eventually have an ah-ha moment.
We moved to Arizona and Preston started kindergarten. The first half of kindergarten he was already falling behind. I constantly set up meetings with his teacher to discuss his progress. They gave me more at home work to do and assured me he would get it eventually. His test scores were low and his reading was non exist ant almost. He could copy words but there was no spacing and if asked to write a sentence it was just s bunch of sight words he had memorized and it made no sense.
At this Point I had had enough. I was No longer going to allow someone to tell me that this was ok. He couldn't read, he could barely write he couldn't count to 30. He was now behind in kindergarten and a year older than them. I started talking to the teachers about dyslexia - the number writing and b d confusion along with the trying to read words backwards was sending up all kinds of red flags in my head. They continued to try to tell me he was fine. I then asked to have him tested or evaluated. The said that they don't test kindergarten kids it is too early.
I then reached out to a retired school psychologist- Matt's uncle, and he told me all the laws and all the steps I needed to take to get an evaluation. I started to read up on more things that I felt were wrong with Preston. His teachers continued to address his attention problems and lack of focus. I took my concerns to the pediatrician and we started some add medication.
In the meantime out of frustration and several sleepless nights and hours of praying, I took Preston out of his school and placed him in a school that teaches using the Spaulding method- phonograms and a strict writing curriculum. I read up about it and decided this was a good fit. The curriculum enforces strong left to write reading and writing with correct pencil positioning for correct letter formation. It breaks down words into the phonograms so you are not memorizing words rather you are memorizing the phonograms and rules that make it more logical to read and spell. Programs like these were first developed for kids with learning disabilities. This was perfect. The only downside is because it is such a great program they teach an accelerated program and now the kids are a grade level ahead of the normal public school.
Preston had a bit of a hard transition for the rest of kindergarten. He missed all the crafty stuff his old school did and didn't like all the writing. I felt like I had made a horrible decision at first, homework was hard and it was still taking hours to do it. He continued to fight me on any reading and going from a sight word program to a phonogram program was like starting him in kindergarten almost a year behind these kids. They were doing advanced math and all the kids were all reading fluently. Preston's teacher expressed concern but continued to work with him. She began to take notes on preston's academic skills and was becoming more and more concerned about his word processing. He could not write a word on his own. Even with what's called inventive spelling. By the end of the year I was exhausted from daily homework battles lack of sleep and still constant worry about trying to figure out what was going on with Preston. I was at my boiling point. I felt like I couldn't get anyone to listen. I was sure something was different about Preston. He was struggling with every aspect of school. I hated knowing that he was struggling so bad but I could not find a way or anyone to help him. As a mother this was the worst thing I have ever felt, I felt completely helpless and alone. My son was falling through the education gaps and nothing I did was preventing it. He was frustrated as well. I feel like he could sense my frustration along with the frustration of not being able to understand concepts that you are expected to understand. I felt like our relationship was gone. We only argued about homework because I was trying to push him and force him to grasp these concepts. I figured more practice would solve the problem, however it only made it worse. When summer came it was a relief.
Preston was now on ADD medication which made a difference. The first medication , aderol, made him more angry and somewhat hostile. The next was better but I still feel like he has a hard time concentrating. It was not an easy decision to "medicate" my son. People think I am altering my sons personality. I know people have a lot of opinions about this. The thing I remind myself is nobody knows my or preston's situation. We Have walked in our shoes and nobody else has, and we know what our situation was like. I felt like I lost my sweet boy. I could no longer see his true personality shine through. I felt like it was lost. The only boy I had was an angry one that was frustrated with his life he didn't know why he couldn't concentrate and I could tell that he hated that he wasn't able to understand things. His inability to concentrate was making his life harder. He couldn't remember what the teacher was saying, he couldn't even sit to do a task and then he felt like he was in trouble for not doing his work. And when he would get home he couldn't remember how to do his work. The decision to use medication has added some relief to Preston's situation. We can see our sweet boy more often. It doesn't change who he is. It just lets the real boy shine through better.
As per the recommendation of my pediatrician I took Preston to a psychologist for a few visits. I stopped taking him because I felt like we didn't have a very good connection but he was very well educated in the world of IEP's. We discussed school law and all the hoops you have jump through to get what you want, he made me realize that I had to step out of my comfort zone and start making some demands because no school is going to be my child's advocate without me putting on some pressure.
At the beginning of first grade I had had enough. "Mama Bear" was officially unleashed. I immediately wrote a formal written request to have Preston evaluated. I was requesting a full psycho educational evaluation. They were quick to respond now that by law they had 60 days to complete my request. In doing this I was hoping to find out how best to teach Preston. We recently had our meeting discussing the results and it was a huge relief to see proof that it was not me being some wildly ambitious mother expecting perfection from her son, his scores were low and it proved that he needs help. I was so impressed by the schools response and he started receiving one on one instruction in math reading and writing and he began working with a speech therapist as well. His speech was not progressing from a 3-4 year olds. "th" sounds were pronounced like "f's" or "v's" us articulation was that of 3 year old, and this affected his spelling and reading. I was quite impressed and very please with what was taking place. I wanted to dig further though. I really felt strongly about Preston having dyslexia. I had read more about it and with his school determining he has a specific learning disability in reading, math, and reading comprehension, and writing. I had a dyslexia specialist take a look at his IEP and she said this was most definitely signs of dyslexia. Unfortunately, we were moving in a week.
Once we moved I immediately started looking for help in the form of tutors. Dyslexia tutors are not easy to find, but I found one after attending a dyslexia seminar. the Professor giving the lecture was a tutor as well and I pretty much begged him to take on Preston. The school is evaluating his Arizona IEP and I am waiting for their input on how to best educate Preston. Preston receives tutoring 2 times a week and his tutor feels like this is a really good program for him and that he will progress. I still have worries that seem to be a part of daily life. We still have our homework struggles. And I still have to be the constant bad guy. Since moving I have noticed that Preston's progress made in the last school has been lost a little. I was told this would happen but I am really hoping that we can help get him where he needs to be.
I have a lot of worry, and we have our struggles daily. I would have liked to be able to report we found the answer and all was solved, but I have a feeling this is still the beginning of what is going to be years of struggle. I hope one day Preston will appreciate all that I put him through. I hope one day he will not see me as the homework crazed mother who made him practice his letters and reading, and math over and over. i have hopes of one day being able to see him happy to learn because it will no longer be so hard for him, that he will have the confidence be something great despite his past struggles. Though all of this my desire is to give Preston the tools to be the best Preston that he can be.
Once we moved I immediately started looking for help in the form of tutors. Dyslexia tutors are not easy to find, but I found one after attending a dyslexia seminar. the Professor giving the lecture was a tutor as well and I pretty much begged him to take on Preston. The school is evaluating his Arizona IEP and I am waiting for their input on how to best educate Preston. Preston receives tutoring 2 times a week and his tutor feels like this is a really good program for him and that he will progress. I still have worries that seem to be a part of daily life. We still have our homework struggles. And I still have to be the constant bad guy. Since moving I have noticed that Preston's progress made in the last school has been lost a little. I was told this would happen but I am really hoping that we can help get him where he needs to be.
I have a lot of worry, and we have our struggles daily. I would have liked to be able to report we found the answer and all was solved, but I have a feeling this is still the beginning of what is going to be years of struggle. I hope one day Preston will appreciate all that I put him through. I hope one day he will not see me as the homework crazed mother who made him practice his letters and reading, and math over and over. i have hopes of one day being able to see him happy to learn because it will no longer be so hard for him, that he will have the confidence be something great despite his past struggles. Though all of this my desire is to give Preston the tools to be the best Preston that he can be.
