Monday, May 02, 2005
To the MP of Anderson Street
RE: Annoying Neighbours
It has come to my attention that a certain neighbour of ours is trying to rack havoc in our peaceful little village- ANDERSON STREET.
Our village is peaceful suburban town. Hmmm… I should have started that sentence with ‘once upon a time’. I must say that our town has been trying to keep up with other precincts such as Raffles Ville and Hwa Chong Gardens. Each and every family in our constituency has been trying hard to give our 100% best, working together towards a common goal. Our ancestors have left behind a legacy for our town, and as a cheerful resident, I am more than happy to advocate it.
However, recently a rather ugly neighbour has surfaced amongst us. I personally don’t understand why and when this exactly started to happen. They were really nice people in the beginning. God knows what got into them. It is like suddenly they are all mean and everything.
Their household is headed by a bunch of male chauvinists (pigs). They act gentlemanly to the RC, especially on our last moving day. Why I say act is because during one of our heart to heart chats with the women of the family, they always tell us stories of how separatist they are, Always pushing them to one side. Thank goodness for our housewives support group. If not I don’t understand how they can ever stand their household.
But I’m not saying that the women are all prefect. They have their alter egos too. You can see it in their competitiveness. Even if it was just a cookie, they wanted theirs to be the best. Goodness. It is just a cookie. They have also had an ulterior motive for all their work baking those cookies. They are just doing it for the RC’s GOLDen housewife award. While the rest of the women town are busy turning their homes into SOHOs and running business from home, these woman have spent their lives only for that award. How sly. Is that the measure of a successful woman? Hmmm, that’s up to you to decide.
Secretly, everybody in our town would like to upgrade to upper class residence such as those I’ve mentioned before (as our competitor precincts). We still have to pledge allegiance to our town. We have to make a name for our town, we can’t just turn on each and other. It is ridiculous what one of our own is doing now!
We at #01-4505 and our neighbours at #01-4705 have all seen the ugly side of the neighbour that is stuck right between us. Firstly they are competing with them to see who has lesser MSG levels in their cooking. Goodness, it’s just a number. The women there are seriously pissed. There they are happily minding their own business and look that they get. Yes, they do admit that within the household competition is big but they would never allow that to leave the front door. We would all love to be like them, almost prefect. But there obviously no need to compete because of our cooking. That certain neighbour in fact has really MSG levels, I see no reason why they need to make things so unpleasant with their neighbours.
Then there is that matter of trying to keep only the best for themselves. How selfish. We share the same GEOmancer. Both our households are trying to improve our fengshui. It’s that our geomancer has recently needed more time so that she can make the whole of Anderson Street’s fengshui better, hence she has no drop one of her clients. I wouldn’t disagree if anyone says that our neighbour has better rapport with our beloved geomancer. But they fengshui and MSG levels are definitely better than ours. Our fengshui fluctuates throughout the whole house and our MSG levels are definitely high. Some of ours so high that they have hardened to form substances that look like unpolished DIAMONDS. We are trying hard to get our MSG levels down too. It is definitely not that we are a bunch of lazy bums who do nothing. We have people in our household that really give back a lot to our village. People who lead the rest to make Anderson Street are better place to live in. but that doesn’t really better it seems. We really need help with our fengshui. And yet instead of sharing, it seems that our neighbour is having an all out war so that they can have her all for herself. Signing odd contracts, petitions and they even turned on their own, calling each other black sheep.
Instead of encouragement, they use that? That’s how a happy household works? Have they spared a thought for their own family member? These questions keep circling in my head.
I ,for one, really don’t like to see this happening in my own town. It is such an annoyance and disturbance to everyone. Dear Sir/Mdm, I hope you would look into this matter.
Yours faithfully,
A really concerned Andersonian
P.s: I wrote this for some comic relief, nothing more. I’m not out here to hurt anybody’s feelings, Even though this war has hurt mine gravely. To those who do not understand what I’m writing, take it as I’m practicing for my English paper. To those who understand, I plead with you to make this war end. Let us just work to together instead of engaging in stupid battles that go nowhere.
I agree that competition never ends, but we need not allow this to escalate to animosity and hatred. Friendly competition, we don’t mind. Ugly hostilities, is what we wish to avoid.
Let’s work towards the o levels together.
5:15 PM
