Saturday, April 23, 2005
Well it has been a long time since I updated this place. Really long time. Lots of events have passed. SYF, forum, investiture, etc… all passed, just like that. No need to update you on those events I guessed.
One point to note:
I’m proud to be from Anderson Choir, I’m proud to be in Anderson Student Council and I’m proud to be the head of the Student’s Consultative Committee.
I’m proud to be a Voice of Anderson Secondary School.I guess that’s how sec4 life is bah. Everything just passes by so quickly. Sounds so cliché but it is true. It really just feels as though yesterday I stepped in Anderson. Everything started simple. But now everything is so different.
I guess in sec4‘s true colours do shine bah. COLOURS. Well as most of you might know I’m a colourless diamond. Whatever I’ve done for the past 3 ¼ years has not accounted for anything. But what the hell. I didn’t do them for the sake of anything. I did them for …
Damn, I don’t know why I did them for now.
I guess I felt good doing things for the school, giving back something. I guess I was too naïve. Only until recently did I know that the people around actually do things for awards. To me, my heart really broke when I read those words come out from a good friend’s mouth. My world shattered. Cause for the longest of times, I thought that they did the same time as me unconditionally. I felt rather cheated. I still do feel so. F to the people who give awards based on ‘god knows what they based on’. Then there are the other kind whom just damn straight don’t deserve it all. Cause behind them they have always been people covering their ass. People who work double so that their organization will not fall because of an incompetent leader. Up till I still feel that he is incompetent. I guess it’s probably just a personal opinion, since he is getting 2 awards. Right? I guess that’s the good thing in having teachers whom you know in the judging panel and not forgetting having a rank that is higher than others. This world is unfair and I have been trying to live with it. But hey, maybe it is just punishment for us diamonds. I guess it’s the school’s way to telling us we screwed up.
Then again, I don’t regret sacrificing my time, my effort, my life, because my only reward is self satisfaction. As I said before, I don’t do things for recognition or appreciation. I do it for self satisfaction.
Well 4 teachers have already spoken to me. I’m trying damn hard to make people rethink me. Rethink me as a competitor. I will be. You just watch. One day they’ll regret the fact that I did better without them. Yup, it was their loss.
Mr. K msged me on Wednesday. I was very touched. He boosted my confidence and self belief. I’m going to work hard. So going to work hard. Miss Yeo re boost me straight away. I’m touched to have teachers who care so much about me. Just at the time when I really wanted to give up on myself they gave me the confidence to make me stand on my feet again.
I’m gonna finish my work. And with pride I will hand it up. It may be late. But better than never.
I guess that how I gonna start off. It may be a little late. But it’s still worth a shot. It’s now my life I working hard for. Not for anyone else other than me. It may sound very selfish, but hey I spent the last 3 ¼ years for others. Now its time for me to have some time for myself.
I guess this is how it’s gonna be.
I guess
11:44 PM
