Ok, so I just read an article on how Utah is taking out sex ed in health. And I guess I must be on some sort of soap box this week. Or maybe I am just finally realizing that I want to be more involved with what's going on in my community and I am more willing to be vocal about my opinion.
But seriously...
here is the link to the article I read today. http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/legislature/abstinence-only-bill-gets-nod-from-house-committee/article_d874ba61-7314-52a8-937e-9b5c3d1810eb.html
Here is the comment I posted on the link this friend posted.
Teaching just abstinence in schools is not going to solve the problems. If parents are so concerned about their kids getting the right sex ed. Then they them selves need to be apart of it, as the West high student said. Since the school won't teach a proper health class; they have gone to the internet for information. That's no place for sex ed. there is too much of a chance for them to get involved in things that could truly damage a healthy sexual relationship.
I guess I was lucky enough to get my sex Ed in Berkeley CA. What a shock that was compared to what had been taught here. But the teacher was great and I knew my options and risks if I ever choose to have sex before marriage. And yes the teacher did lose control of the class here and there, you're teaching squirrly students about an uncomfortable subject!!!! Of course they are going to react that way! This teacher was good because he made us feel it was ok to be curious and let us know what could happen if we didn't take the right precautions.
But it was my open relationship with my mom and what she taught us in accordance to what we believed as an LDS family that helped me make the choice to wait.
Denying that openness at school seems to me would make students more uncomfortable to share and ask questions. I'd rather my kids got the sex ed I got (too much compared to too little) and come to me with questions than go to the internet or friends. While I will probably tone it down from the Berkeley version I got and make sure my kids are ready for each topic of sex. Meaning, when ever those questions arise, I think it is important to answer them in a version that is easy for that age to understand.
It is my duty as parent to be willing to talk to my kids about it. I have had so many friends growing up that didn't know even the basics. It's sad. There is nothing wrong with knowing what sex means, it just needs to be approached in the right way. Closing up and not talking about it is wrong. It just makes the subject more taboo.
I'm the example and I want to make sure I am setting the right example, meaning I believe sex should be for marriage. But I know part of our life experience is making our own choices. I want them to know that they can do so, but I want to make sure they have all the information to make wise choices to keep them self safe if they choose not to wait. But I hope my example and what we teach and believe in our home will be what they need to wait for a temple marriage.
I'm not saying the word sex should be used in a super casual text. I know and feel it is a sacred thing between a husband and wife. I just feel it doesn't need to be a topic that needs to be locked away. We can still keep it a special topic, and teach our kids in a healthy way about it.
Ok I know, it's a lot to put out there. But I'd be interested in opinions!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Letting off some steam...(LONG post)
Ok, so on day of all days I decide to post my feelings on this issue. Is a day that Lily was being HARD. A hard day with Lily is in all honestly NOTHING when it comes to kids with learning delays. I really have no right to complain, but I'm really good at complaining, so I do.
She hasn't been sleeping well and due to that face neither have we; most definably a contributing factor to the not being able to handle being a parent today. She came into our bed half way through the night; tossed and turned for who knows how long. This was night #2 of this, so this house hold has been on the grumpy side this week.
I had a friend come over to help with some homework for her bridal design class. Lily whined and just wanted to be held the whole time and eventually dozed off in my lap. A clue to how much sleep the poor kid has been getting due to her night wake ups. As soon as I laid her down, so I could have my hand free to help my friend. She of course in preparation of the new-born days to come, woke up the minute I walked away and refused to go back to sleep.
At this point, I had hit the "whatever kid" stage and finished up helping my friend and fixed us lunch knowing she would nap after.
Our lunch went pretty well, less whining, but she would not, could not wait the 5 minutes it took me to heat up last nights left overs. Once she got her food she was fine. And after lunch, she did go gown for nap quite easily and slept for over 2 hours. So I got a break to gather up my mommy super powers and prepare to attack the rest of the day.
WRONG.
She also woke up a grump from her nap. Although she kept her cool as I allowed her to help make dinner and clean up the dishes, but not chill enough to keep her self entertained if we went back down stairs to sew. I knew she needed a break and decided that I'd have to pick up sewing later after she went to bed. Which I am writing this post while waiting for her to go to sleep, so I can sew for a bit to keep on schedule. Thankfully she is keeping to her bed and will be out shortly; which is good because she woke up from her nap at 4:20!
Ok, I know that is a long pre-cursor to what the point of this post is about. But I had to share to remind my self, even on our bad days; I am so lucky to be Lily's Mom. Up's, downs, challenges with the learning delays and getting therapies and all.
A school friend had posted on her FaceBook today that she would rather have puppies ruin her carpet, because kids ruined your life. While I do have her age to factor (21) and she is extremely feminist and very against the LDS church and all is stands for.
This comment above set off my feelings of I am so sick and tired of being undermined because I choose to become a Mother. I am who I am today and I'm where I am in my life right now, BECAUSE I made that choice. It hasn't made it any easier, the process of getting here. But I feel today (the fact I got my diploma's in the mail today helps) that I know it might be a longer road than I want it to be, but I WILL reach my goal. I can see it. I can feel it in my bones. It's just recognizing the fact that saying yes to that little nagging voice in the back of my head back in 2007 saying "it is time, I am waiting" was the start of all the wonderful opportunities that I have been given since.
Even on days like today. I CANNOT imagine my life without Lily. Which leads me to another post by a FaceBook friend with similar extreme feminism views and frustration towards the LDS faith. Who had posted an article about how female seminary teachers are not allowed to continue teaching after having children. In the article the head of the department they were interviewing said (if I recall it right) "they don't want to come back, because they want to stay at home"
While I do question why they won't let these women come back to teach if the money is needed to help stay a self sustaining family and it is what they love to do. But on the other hand being a stay-at-home-Mom and loving it, I honestly don't blame them for not wanting to go back to work. I love what it has given me and being a SAHM is what really gave me the drive and time to be doing the things I am doing now. Making and sewing up MY designs and marketing MY skills. I would not have the time or energy if I was still working for Ballet West or the bridal shop or film. All were fantastic experiences, but what I am working on now is my real dream.
Now, please dont' take it I am against working outside of the home. I know coming from my self, that sometimes us women need to have a job, not only to support our families, but to support our sanity. Some are just not able to be there for their families unless they can make a difference for others by working. I am one of these. I need to be busy to feel like a human being, I need to create to be a better Mom. When I do, I am so much more able to handle what ever the day throws at me. Honestly there are somedays where I envy those woman who are perfectly content with running a house hold and kids and that's it. Somedays I feel guilty about seeming to be so selfish and letting the house be a disaster, so I can work on my sewing.
But what I am learning about balance, while teaching my self to be more self disciplined this year, is that I know it is going to be hard and make the road longer by trying to balance both worlds. But I am learning my limits and Lily's limits and I am making it work. Because I have seen what I am like when I'm not working on my personal goals along side my family goals. I can't be there for Lily and it scares me. I need to keep my mind healthy, body and soul (spiritual) to be there for my family.
Also I have been involved with a friend in helping support HB 69 in this year's legislator session. If this bill passes; families like my friend will have Autistic therapies covered by their insurance. Something that I feel is SO important being a Mother of a child who has delay issues similar to Autism. While the people who I have talked to in relation to this and Lily have not had any concerns with Lily falling on the spectrum, I still feel this is an important issue to support. Lily's therapies are no different from my friend's daughters and I have been dealing with similar issues in getting her therapies covered as well as properly diagnosed. Delays are not covered by insurances and I support my friend in helping getting the coverage needed so these kids can be a contributing member of society when they grow up. I don't want to have anyone else go through the stories and heartache I have experienced my self and seen in connection with the learning delay community.
I took time to send in a pre-written letter by the Autism Collation to help support HB69. I did 't expect a response, but I got one. I am glad my legislator is taking time to respond, but it left me furious! In the opening statement, he talked about how he had a neighbor who had a Autistic child and he saw and recognized the struggles this family went through. And while he felt for this family, he would not be supporting HB69. Just seeing and recognizing the situation is not full comprehension of what someone is going through. You will never, never, never understand someone's position until you, your self are in it. Which is something that I learned while trying to "support" my friend with an Autistic child with positive comments on all her FaceBook post on the struggles she was going through to get what her daughter needed. I never fully could understand until I, my self realized Lily needed more intensive therapies and I tried to get insurance to cover it.
This lead me to think and realize and hope I will try to never judge a person, situation or event unless I can more fully comprehend what's it is like to be in their place. Which is the reason the above mentioned FaceBook friend posts make me so sad. I honestly cannot express and share or begin to describe the challenge it is to be a Mother. Never has my sorrow been so great, but never has my joy been so full. Yes I realize not everyone is up for the challenge or is even fit for it, but I hope, beyond all hope that these types of people will take from what I have learned and not put down the journey I have decided to take before opening their heart up just a little to what is like to be a Mother.
I am so grateful I know my place as a daughter of God. I recognize the important mission I have to be a Mother, a woman and a wife. This is one of the real reasons I do what I do sewing wise. I want to help woman feel that being a powerful woman is not being a rock-star, actress, or model. It is recognizing the true humble being of being self-less. I'm not about creating sex symbols when I go about designing my non-modest looks. I am looking to empower the true meaning of woman by taping into the beauty that we are. I do feel that being modest helps diminish the media driven need of being sexy=powerful and confident. And I am all for that. While clothes help us feel beautiful, it's what we are taught and stand for, live for and those self-less acts that makes us beautiful.
And my response to this friends post on preferring puppies over kids?
My kids have been the best thing that have ruined my life.
She hasn't been sleeping well and due to that face neither have we; most definably a contributing factor to the not being able to handle being a parent today. She came into our bed half way through the night; tossed and turned for who knows how long. This was night #2 of this, so this house hold has been on the grumpy side this week.
I had a friend come over to help with some homework for her bridal design class. Lily whined and just wanted to be held the whole time and eventually dozed off in my lap. A clue to how much sleep the poor kid has been getting due to her night wake ups. As soon as I laid her down, so I could have my hand free to help my friend. She of course in preparation of the new-born days to come, woke up the minute I walked away and refused to go back to sleep.
At this point, I had hit the "whatever kid" stage and finished up helping my friend and fixed us lunch knowing she would nap after.
Our lunch went pretty well, less whining, but she would not, could not wait the 5 minutes it took me to heat up last nights left overs. Once she got her food she was fine. And after lunch, she did go gown for nap quite easily and slept for over 2 hours. So I got a break to gather up my mommy super powers and prepare to attack the rest of the day.
WRONG.
She also woke up a grump from her nap. Although she kept her cool as I allowed her to help make dinner and clean up the dishes, but not chill enough to keep her self entertained if we went back down stairs to sew. I knew she needed a break and decided that I'd have to pick up sewing later after she went to bed. Which I am writing this post while waiting for her to go to sleep, so I can sew for a bit to keep on schedule. Thankfully she is keeping to her bed and will be out shortly; which is good because she woke up from her nap at 4:20!
Ok, I know that is a long pre-cursor to what the point of this post is about. But I had to share to remind my self, even on our bad days; I am so lucky to be Lily's Mom. Up's, downs, challenges with the learning delays and getting therapies and all.
A school friend had posted on her FaceBook today that she would rather have puppies ruin her carpet, because kids ruined your life. While I do have her age to factor (21) and she is extremely feminist and very against the LDS church and all is stands for.
This comment above set off my feelings of I am so sick and tired of being undermined because I choose to become a Mother. I am who I am today and I'm where I am in my life right now, BECAUSE I made that choice. It hasn't made it any easier, the process of getting here. But I feel today (the fact I got my diploma's in the mail today helps) that I know it might be a longer road than I want it to be, but I WILL reach my goal. I can see it. I can feel it in my bones. It's just recognizing the fact that saying yes to that little nagging voice in the back of my head back in 2007 saying "it is time, I am waiting" was the start of all the wonderful opportunities that I have been given since.
Even on days like today. I CANNOT imagine my life without Lily. Which leads me to another post by a FaceBook friend with similar extreme feminism views and frustration towards the LDS faith. Who had posted an article about how female seminary teachers are not allowed to continue teaching after having children. In the article the head of the department they were interviewing said (if I recall it right) "they don't want to come back, because they want to stay at home"
While I do question why they won't let these women come back to teach if the money is needed to help stay a self sustaining family and it is what they love to do. But on the other hand being a stay-at-home-Mom and loving it, I honestly don't blame them for not wanting to go back to work. I love what it has given me and being a SAHM is what really gave me the drive and time to be doing the things I am doing now. Making and sewing up MY designs and marketing MY skills. I would not have the time or energy if I was still working for Ballet West or the bridal shop or film. All were fantastic experiences, but what I am working on now is my real dream.
Now, please dont' take it I am against working outside of the home. I know coming from my self, that sometimes us women need to have a job, not only to support our families, but to support our sanity. Some are just not able to be there for their families unless they can make a difference for others by working. I am one of these. I need to be busy to feel like a human being, I need to create to be a better Mom. When I do, I am so much more able to handle what ever the day throws at me. Honestly there are somedays where I envy those woman who are perfectly content with running a house hold and kids and that's it. Somedays I feel guilty about seeming to be so selfish and letting the house be a disaster, so I can work on my sewing.
But what I am learning about balance, while teaching my self to be more self disciplined this year, is that I know it is going to be hard and make the road longer by trying to balance both worlds. But I am learning my limits and Lily's limits and I am making it work. Because I have seen what I am like when I'm not working on my personal goals along side my family goals. I can't be there for Lily and it scares me. I need to keep my mind healthy, body and soul (spiritual) to be there for my family.
Also I have been involved with a friend in helping support HB 69 in this year's legislator session. If this bill passes; families like my friend will have Autistic therapies covered by their insurance. Something that I feel is SO important being a Mother of a child who has delay issues similar to Autism. While the people who I have talked to in relation to this and Lily have not had any concerns with Lily falling on the spectrum, I still feel this is an important issue to support. Lily's therapies are no different from my friend's daughters and I have been dealing with similar issues in getting her therapies covered as well as properly diagnosed. Delays are not covered by insurances and I support my friend in helping getting the coverage needed so these kids can be a contributing member of society when they grow up. I don't want to have anyone else go through the stories and heartache I have experienced my self and seen in connection with the learning delay community.
I took time to send in a pre-written letter by the Autism Collation to help support HB69. I did 't expect a response, but I got one. I am glad my legislator is taking time to respond, but it left me furious! In the opening statement, he talked about how he had a neighbor who had a Autistic child and he saw and recognized the struggles this family went through. And while he felt for this family, he would not be supporting HB69. Just seeing and recognizing the situation is not full comprehension of what someone is going through. You will never, never, never understand someone's position until you, your self are in it. Which is something that I learned while trying to "support" my friend with an Autistic child with positive comments on all her FaceBook post on the struggles she was going through to get what her daughter needed. I never fully could understand until I, my self realized Lily needed more intensive therapies and I tried to get insurance to cover it.
This lead me to think and realize and hope I will try to never judge a person, situation or event unless I can more fully comprehend what's it is like to be in their place. Which is the reason the above mentioned FaceBook friend posts make me so sad. I honestly cannot express and share or begin to describe the challenge it is to be a Mother. Never has my sorrow been so great, but never has my joy been so full. Yes I realize not everyone is up for the challenge or is even fit for it, but I hope, beyond all hope that these types of people will take from what I have learned and not put down the journey I have decided to take before opening their heart up just a little to what is like to be a Mother.
I am so grateful I know my place as a daughter of God. I recognize the important mission I have to be a Mother, a woman and a wife. This is one of the real reasons I do what I do sewing wise. I want to help woman feel that being a powerful woman is not being a rock-star, actress, or model. It is recognizing the true humble being of being self-less. I'm not about creating sex symbols when I go about designing my non-modest looks. I am looking to empower the true meaning of woman by taping into the beauty that we are. I do feel that being modest helps diminish the media driven need of being sexy=powerful and confident. And I am all for that. While clothes help us feel beautiful, it's what we are taught and stand for, live for and those self-less acts that makes us beautiful.
And my response to this friends post on preferring puppies over kids?
My kids have been the best thing that have ruined my life.
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