A letter to my cousin and the words I really wanted to say...

Totally slacking off in the blogging department. So much has happened this year.

But first I need/want to get these words shared. They have been sitting inside me for a while and I need to share my feelings.

There is no easy way to tell this. As anyone who has lost a child can tell you. A close cousin of mine, lost her darling 3 month old baby to SIDS last month. She rolled over for the first time while sleeping and went home to heavenly father.

I never got to meet this sweet baby. Life had gotten busy and even with this cousin living in Provo for quite some time. Somehow we never met up as often as we did growing up. When either, my family made the trip to California or they made a trip to Utah.
I loved spending time at their house. As my Aunt put it while visiting with her before the funeral. "You were allowed to be a kid" which was the truth. I remember hours of ruff and tumble play, running around in just swim suits (they had a backyard pool, a novelty for us Utah kids) watching movies, playing video games, eating what and when ever we wanted to, fighting and playing long hours. These cousins were fun to be around, they loved to read and were all extremely smart. And in our teen years, we all had a similar passion for the performing arts. I have extremely fond memories of spending time at their house.

When I heard the news of her baby's passing, I knew I had to help. And the only way I knew how was through my sewing. I made a white gown for her to be buried in.
My first thought, was holy bananas. I just offered to do what during a super stressful work week? A ton of gowns to get ready for December weddings. But I just keep having this feeling I needed to do it.
So I just went with it. I raided my stash and found ample amounts of white bridal satin and a beautiful delicate embroidered organza. Just enough of it too. I also, had just enough of a beautiful Alceon lace trim left over from an alteration I did earlier this year. It was literally just enough to go around the hem of the dress and edge of the sleeves. Lily also tried to help cut out the dress and cut the center front bodice panel. Even with her cutting the bodice twice before I got a chance to sew it up, I had enough fabric.
What really got to me was I made that gown in about 3 hours. With only having to unpick the sleeve seams. (I sewed them in wrong to put the elastic in) Which when I rush like that, I always end up having to unpick way more. And I was happy with it, another look back moment and couldn't believe it. I just wish I had more time to do something more. The classic designer in me wanted more delicate baby details. Hand sewn embellishments etc..

But here Sandy, are the words I really wanted to say at the dedication of the grave. I needed to give the back story again so all this would make sense.
I could not imagine what feelings you had that week. I so tried hard to understand how you would feel. When I walked into the receiving line as you graciously greeted those who had come to support you. And I saw how clear and understanding you were of Heavenly Fathers plan for you was. That was the reason for my tears. To see how beautiful and gracious you were, to see you comforting others when we were here for you. Your testimony shone brightly that day and it has forever effected me.
Lily talked about Heavenly Father on the drive there for the first time and there was such a strong spirit there. I felt that there were heavenly beings surrounding us.
The words I tried to say through all my blubbering at the grave dedication were: Here in your experience you have lifted others and helped me deeper understand the Lord's mysterious workings, by how you presented your self that day. All those events leading up to this, strengthened my belief in his individual plan for us. Because he helped me to be apart of those events.  He knows us and loves us. He knew I wanted to help and blessed my hands and mind to help. He knew.

I so badly wish, it was different circumstances that this lesson helped taught me how he makes a way. But I want to you to know that my testimony was strengthened. I saw proof by your example. And thank you for that. Know you have given a gift far greater than you know.

January and February! A quick post about what we have been up to the first bit of 2013! 

 This cute girl turned 5! I can't believe it has gone by so quickly! I have a 5 year old!!!! She is one little firecracker and keeps me busy keeping up with her. Especially since her understanding and speech and gone through the roof, in just a few weeks. She loves to talk and is very polite with lots of thank you mama's, and says please. She is recognizing feelings and tells us when Ethan is mad, who's crying, and when she is mad. This last friday, we went to DI to find an old pot for dying fabrics and had found a princess DVD, but since it was scratched. I didn't want to buy it. She of course, threw a fit and cried the whole way home. I asked her to stop, but it continued. When we got home and I opened up the door to get her out of the car; she very tearfully said: sorry *sniff, sniff, sniff* sorry *more sniffing* for *sniff, sniff, sniff* for crying. It was very sweet!

 For her birthday she wanted a Cinderella cake, and since she is also obsessed with Belle too. I decided to make a Belle one too. I like to pretend I know what I am doing when it comes to cakes, but I am no cake boss. I have to admit to my self I am pretty darn happy with how they turned out! While making the cakes for her Party. Lily was in the living room with daddy. I had almost finished with the Belle one when she came running in to check on me. When she saw it she gasped and put her hands up to her mouth and went running to into the living room and screamed to Dad. "oh my goodness, daddy my cinder-lala belle cake!!!"

 Since she got her ears pierced last September, so we had asked for Jewelry for her birthday from family. She was throughly spoiled and now has a collection almost as big as mom's of fun earrings and accessories! Here are some of the birthday spoils from Shannon & family.

This last week I pulled out the little history book Kim had wrote about my Dad. There is a picture in there of dad around one year. It is super creepy how close these two look like each other. He has those stunning blue Hammond almond shaped big blues!

He is still such a laid back baby. Although right now he is going through a growth spurt or teething and sleeping has been a little rough. Meaning he is waking up more than his normal night feedings. But compared to what Lily was. I will take it!!!

He is still a super good eater, and loves pretty much anything we give him. Between these two months he has learned to crawl, pull him self up and has started to babble. Lots of da-da-da-da's but he starts it with a big "aaaahhhh" sound. He loves to giggle with his sister and it's really cute when they are in the car laughing at each other. 

He monkey crawls, with one leg bend to his crotch and then the other in a kneeling up position and that is what he propels him self with. He is really fast now! He can also get him self up from his tummy into a sitting postion. His legs are still little shaky, but that hasn't stopped him from pulling him up to his knees. I swear, he figures one thing out and he's instantly working on the next thing! It's the same with toys, I have to give him one a time, let him figure it out and then give him another. He is one smart little boy!

He loves to cuddle and if I had to pick what animal he is most like, it would be a cat. He likes to cuddle on his own terms, will be super still and quiet, then all of a sudden pop up and want to be put down. He is in 12-18 month clothes, I can't buy for him in advance or else I miss out and he's already out of it soon after I buy it! Thank goodness we inherited all Shannon's boys clothes. I've barely had to buy for him. 

Jason: we are half done with our last semester! And he is doing fantastic in his class. Really looking forward to when we are finally done done done!!!!

Me: I started working for Alta Moda Bridal this year. I love it! I'm keeping pretty busy, seven brides to sew for! I really like working for them. Hilary (the owner) is great and I've loved being surrounded by wedding gowns again and seeing all the insides. I'm learning a lot and really love the challenge it's been. I also have two custom design brides both I'm really excited about! It's for sure a busy bridal season! 

Life is so beautiful!

Winter 2012

This cute little guy is 6 months! I can't believe how fast time has gone by. He is eating solids and LOVES everything. He gets really mad when we are eating and he is not. So far he has not come across any kind of food he does not like. Dr. Moskun has also give us the full go ahead to try EVERYTHING. So while Mom is still super nervous about nuts, we have had foods with dairy, egg, Proteins (meats and beans)  

Ethan has also cut his first teeth this week! His two bottom have sprouted. He's a great teether, loves to have things to chew on and is still sleeping rather well for Mom at night, if he's restless a few teething tables do the trick or a quick nursing soother. He has still been waking at 11/12 for feeding, but since it's the holidays and we often don't get to do our bedtime nurse I'm not worried about breaking the habit until after the new year. We just have too much going on to be super strict about it right now.

He is rolling over and rolls to get to places, he also has tried to figure out how to inch worm to get toys, is really good with his hands, has started to feed him self with puffy melt treats and has a funny happy wiggles dance when he sees the food bowls and spoon. 

 Look at those big beautiful blue eyes! I love my baby boy!

 This angel is still my pride and joy. She has come so far this year and my heart is so full every time I hear or see a break through for her. She has taught me the true meaning of joy in being a parent

 See...pure joy..

 She melts my heart. Even on her bad days.

 My lily bug scored extremely well on her testing this school year. Relief for Mom and some very impressed teachers at school have calmed my fears at my most recent meeting before Christmas break.

 I'm so lucky to be married to this man. I hope he knows how much I love him. He was in charge of the Christmas message at his family's party this Christmas Eve and got to see in him one of the reasons I chose him, his love for the gospel. While reading a story about a man giving with out thought to those in need, he was touched and had to pause while reading when overcome with emotion. I love these tender moments in him and each one reminds me how very lucky I am. I hope this next year I will be able to better show him my appreciation to him in all he does for our family.

 My sweet babes, my joy, these angels have given more than I could of ever hoped for.

 I love photographers who have been trained to work in film. There is so much more attention to detail, lighting, poses and elements. They really have put thought and emotion into knowing their element and I think it all comes out a million times better. Not that digital dos'ent have it's own place and wonders. I just find my self appreciating those who've taken time to study proper old school techniques before jumping the digital bandwagon. I'm sorry to sounds bias, but I kinda am ;)

 It wouldn't be a family pic with out Chezabelle!

These wonderful family photos were taken by D'Arcy Benincosa and check out her site, we've done a lot of collaborations this summer with my gowns and a lot of the pics are featured on her site.

This year we purposely kept our Christmas small, not out of lack of budget, but because we don't want Christmas to be about presents. I'm so grateful and my heart is so full this year because we did so. I was more able to realize how much I am already blessed with in what I already have. I was able to focus on giving freely, Christ's love and the reason for the season. I loved the peace and calmness that surrounded our time this December that is wasn't crowded with to-do lists and stressing over presents. I only did one big shopping day and kept things homemade for those outside the family I needed gifts for. I'm grateful for all the blessings this gospel brings me, my family and life. I am so very grateful and my heart is so very full this year. I am excited for the new year, to work on new goals, better my self, testimony and life.

Life is Beautiful!

Fall round up! What we've been up to!

Did some fashion shows! Me and my lovely models at Fashion Night out Sept. 14

 Reunited with the group from high school. It was SO fun to see everyone again!

 Been working hard in Feldenkrais therapy with our wonderful friend Carol. This woman is a miracle worker and I am so honored she has decided to work with us.

 Trying out Momma's swag bag shades from Fashion's Night Out

 Hanging out with Mom while at work at Tissu Fine Fabrics for fittings. I swear smart phones were invented for Moms and to keep their kids busy!

 Celebrated Halloween with my beautiful Cinderella. First time I didn't stay up late to finish it. I had it done early and had to hide it from her so she would't soil it before Halloween.

 Ethan was a sock monkey. With how fast he is growing, I couldn't justify spending a lot of money on him. I saw the cute sweatshirt at Old Navy and since he already had the pants I was sold. And what a cute sock money he is! Everyone loved it!

This cute little man is now 4.5 months old. He weighs 18 lbs, is 27" long (4 lbs & 3" in two months) He is eating rice cereal, loves peaches, bananas, peas and apples. Mom is planning on introducing more foods as he quickly adapts to anything given to him. He loves crackers and tastes of Mom & Dad's foods. He makes the funniest noises, laughs (the hardest at Chez chasing a ball) coos, does happy wiggles (arms and legs kicking and flying a mile a minute) and blows raspberries when he is happy. He's pretty much sleeping through the night, except when he is going through a growth spurt.

This mess maker is doing awesome! Her language is continuing to improve daily and I've really enjoyed the conversations we have had recently. Here are the latest funny Lily sayings.

She can't say "th" sounds so Ethan is pronounced "Ea-an"

When I am gathering up kids, and ready to walk out the door I clap my hands together and say "let's go!" she now claps her hands and says "mom, I ready to go...." and tells me where she wants me to take her.

The neighbor girl is 6 months older than Lily and they enjoy playing together. The other day as we pulled into the driveway she said "Siri my best friend. I want to play" I told her, we'd call her and ask her to come play. She then proceded to shout when she got out of the car "wah-hoo! Siri! come play!" calling her like a dog.

While talking to Ethan the following things are normally said: Ea-on!, hello hello hello hello said in quick secession with a raspy voice, hello big boy, hello little big boy, here Ea-on here and shoves a toy in his face.

While driving in the car the other day we had this conversation.
Lily: Momma?
Me: What?
Lily: I so happy!
Me: You're so happy!?
Lily: mmm hmm, I so happy!

I love it. I love my life!

Lily Update.

Too excited about the first day of school to look at the camera for Mom.

She LOVES school, her teachers are so impressed with how well she is doing. We will see if that changes once she gets more comfortable and puts up her attitude like she did for her teacher last year. ;) but her daily report book states everyday she is doing very well and her teacher said she is so glad to have Lily in her class, as she would be a big help to others because of her "advanced level" 

The Feldenkrais is my saving grace at the moment. Still after almost 5 months of weekly visits, she still manages to learn, say, or do new things that she has never done before. I'm am so grateful to have found Carol and all she does to teach me and Lily. Without the improvements through this therapy, I honestly don't know how I would handle all the "bad" news and no answers medical testing has given us this year.

This last week, we finally had our appointment for seeing a pediatric geneticist. It was a very long wait, we made our appointment back in April.  Apparently, the Genetics department at Primary Children's is the only one in this region. (that's what the receptionist told me when I asked how come so long!)  He was great, it started out as a normal visit in all that we have already done with seeing doctors about her cognitive delay. He didn't see any clues there in relation to her behavior and past testing results. So he then looked at physical traits for clues, feet, hands, hair patterns (the amount of hair on her arms and legs) forehead, eye, ears and what-not. It was really neat to watch him, as you could tell he was very intent on his speciality and really was fascinated with the mystery of it all. He was excited about it and I like when professionals have a passion for what they do, it made the visit a whole heck of a lot easier to handle.

After that, he told me there are a few traits to her physical appearance, that could possibly be parts of some syndromes. But there was not enough in other areas to make a match to for sure say she has this or that just by looking at her. For example her extra hair on her arms back and legs were a clue to one syndrome, but she was missing the other traits to for sure identify it. Plus she is such a skinny girl, even with her eating normally for her age, and me power packing her calorie wise still. So no wonder her body produces extra hair. He then told me he just felt there were not enough clues in ANY category on physical traits to even make chromosome testing even worth it. (this I'm glad of, as testing can; according to other special needs Mom's I've talked to. Run 4-7 thousand dollars!!!) The most he could do testing wise is a blood test that would only have a 10% chance of providing us with answers. 

Ugh. After hundreds of dollars spent trying to find out what is causing her delay. No Answers!! After that news, all I could think of was two things: One thank goodness for Carol and Feldenkrais, and two: What now???

The Geneticist said to bring her back in, in two years for both Neurology and Genetics as new testing methods would of been developed then and new syndromes could of been identified. This whole games sucks, I almost feel like I shouldn't even bother because the Feldenkrais is working so well. But on the other hand, I want to know why. I cant' stand not knowing why in any situation.

Next we are going to look more into "hippie" methods, body testing, new diets and supplements. I'm going to look into biofeedback. I've been hearing a lot about that in relation to special needs children. I think at this point all I can do is to focus on what I can do to help keep on a path of rapid improvement. Doing what ever it takes to help her improve. 

As I said before, Feldenkrais really has made a difference for me and how I am handling the situation. I don't know how I would take all this "bad" news of not getting any answers, if I didn't see her improve so fast. I was watching videos of her over the last year and to hear and see her understanding is so entirely different. I don't remember that kid who couldn't talk and it was just babble. 

I'm still so grateful she is in my life and she has taught me so much. I hope soon she will be able to fully understand how much I love her. 

Ethan at 2 & 3 months.

How adorable is this photo?? This was taken at 2 months and now at 3 he still looks the same, but older and bigger. A lot bigger. The "little" guy weighed in at 14.8lbs and grew 4" since his birth. The nurse had to double check the stats! Compared to Lily he is SO big, he is basically the same size Lily was at 6 months! It's so strange to me after my little skinny  mini girl. He's still wearing 3 month bottoms for clothing, but thanks to his length he wears 6 mo. onesies and rompers. 

This cute photo session was done by D'Arcy Benincosa. I love love love the way she captures the expressions on the people she photographed. There is so much feeling and personality to them, her photography doesn't feel posed. Take a minute to read her about me segment on her website. I love how she talks about her experience people watching. (one of my favorite things to do at fashion events:) I think this is one of her greatest strengths in her work as a photographer and I can't wait to see the rest of the images!!! (the above was a sneak peek of our session) 

Back to the kids!:

Ethan has been smiling and laughing at us for the last month. Lately his smile and laugh is getting louder and he is more attentive to things around him. He is right on que for development, although I'm concerned his tracking with his eyes is behind. It is so hard not to freak out about little delays after having a child like Lily first. He does track, but Lily was so attentive to sound and movement that this was very highly functioning skill for her very early. Ethan is a studier, he really focuses on a pattern or object and just STARES. He response to faces, our voices, he even sticks his tongue out for us when we do it! So I'm sure it's just me having to get used to another child and to figure out how he learns and takes in the world. All I have know for the last almost 5 years is Lily and I'm finding it's been kinda odd for me and sometimes hard to figure out a new baby and personality. 

Honestly, this kid is so darn easy and I have been able to return to my sewing and life in fashion much faster than expected! I'm thrilled to be back in the game of dress making, clients and fashion shows.  I have to say though nothing, absolutely nothing tops waking up after a fantastic runway show next to my beautiful babies. I really do have the best of both worlds. Finding a way to equally balance them is another story. But I am working on it. 

Ethan is a cat napper for naps (boo) and self regulated himself in the text book cycles of eat, play, sleep. Best of all the boy already self soothes and puts himself to sleep. I still have a hard time believing it. I would have to rock Lily for ages to just one hour of sleep, I was a zombie with her for months before I felt human again. Every night after feeding him, I climb back in bed and thank Heavenly Father for his easy temperament. I love knowing Heavenly Father knows us so well, that he blesses us with the children we need in our life.

He is getting so strong. He always wants to stand and be held in a sitting position, at two months he was pretty already holding his head up all the time and now at 3 he can be in baby carrier forward facing because he has gotten so strong. He also tries to sit up and strains his neck up, he is discovering his hands and loves to suck on them. He favors his left side when laying on his back, which makes Mom freak out in fear of flat spots and I've booked him with our feldenkrais therapist to help get balance restored. He has lost all his baby hair and has fine fuzz starting to grow in, the Dr. thinks he will be a blond curly haired boy. Something I am totally fine with, I know it's not in my gene power, but someday I hope to have a curly haired kiddo! He's almost got sleeping through the night figured out, he's in that transition period where is it becoming more common than not. Even though he knocks him self out after a night feeding, this mama will be grateful for more uninterrupted sleep.

Lily:
Is still doing unbelievably well. In combination with school starting and the feldenkrais, she still continues to defy all my doubts and proves to me on a weekly and daily basis the therapy IS working.  This week I am eternally grateful to Carol deciding to accept children into her life as a therapist. She works so well with Lily and has made a huge difference in our life and our care for Lily. This week I can't get over how clear and definite her words are sounding. She is speaking in multiple sentences and gets concepts she didn't before. Like when things break: "buy a new one" or "daddy fix?" or her cousin gave her a pair of Keen shoes she out grew and the first day I put them on her (and with out telling her so) she said "like daddy's?" knowing Dad had a pair too. She is starting to play better with friends, even when those who are on level with their age still sometimes have a problem understanding her and can get kinda mean. But she is doing so good to interact with them properly! Along with this new found growth comes the "tude". She is starting to sass me, by blowing raspberries or spiting when she dosent' want to do something. it's usually followed by a big fat "NO!" as well. I'm grateful for her new found independence, but it also terrifies me as she can now open doors and things that I've never had to worry about before.

I am truly so blessed with all the Lord has given my little family and these last two week in between fashion week for Utah and coming to home after that high to my kids. I honestly can say I am starting to live my dream life and I love it. 

Finally! He is here!

A heads up...I love details :D so be prepared for a long post!

Our little man finally decided to make his appearance!

Ethan Jason Rino, born June 19th 6:33am. 8lbs, 3oz and 21" long

He was a week "post due" I kept telling people I was due the second week of June, as I knew he would be late and didn't want to be disappointed when that day came, went and no baby. I'm glad I did so, it really helped when nothing happened that day!

I went in on my post one week mark for a non-stress test to make sure all was well. First they started out by checking my fluids, I knew by watching the nurse  watch the ultra sounds something was up. My amniotic fluids were at a 2; meaning they could only find 2 pockets of fluid surrounding the baby when they should find at least 10. Not good. Plus my placenta was very calcified, along with a low fluid count would mean trouble very soon. In other words, I was having this baby today. No more waiting on his terms.
I kinda panicked. I always wanted to go as natural as possible when it comes to all things pregnancy and delivery. Induced to me meant Pitocyn (sp?? will just refer to it as "pits" here on) and I didn't like that. But since the nurse was so worried, I knew I just needed to do what ever to deliver him safely.

Once we settled in to our room and all got checked in, I got to talk to the on call mid-wife and told her  I'd like to start out breaking my waters first to see if that would start contractions. She agreed as long as I kept progressing with in a certain time. If not, hooked up to the pits it was for me.
We walked a lot to help get things going...I rested and meditated, willing and welcoming happy birthing thoughts. If you know me, you'd know how strong willed I had been to deliver this baby 100% natural as possible. After about 3 hours I was getting restless, I had already waited for this baby an extra week and I was ready to meet him. I told my nurse to start me on the pits with the lowest dose possible, with the outlook of just slowly working our way up.

Let's cut to the chase and we worked our way up for hours. With some contractions that were jacuzzi tub worthy (I spent for ever in the tub, until the water was pretty cold as it felt so good) but after that I was still S...L...O...W...L...Y moving a long, so that the midwife said no more little bit doses. It was time to make things move faster, the last I remember checking my dose level, it was 24. Which I guess is pretty high. Up until then I was able to handle the contractions super well as they had moved to my back, and I deal with a lot of back pain from all my years sewing, that I was so ready to push though the last bit if the contractions stayed in the back.

With in a hour of them bumping my pit higher, my contractions changed fast and hard. I wasn't mentally ready to handle that, even though my energy level was. I held on as long as I could to working through them. The nurse wanted to check to see if I had progressed any since my demeanor changed so quickly from being really talkative to being completely involved in the managing the contractions.

I was at a four. Over 14 hours and I was still at a four. ARRRRRGGGGHHHH. I was DONE and wanted this kid out. I knew that last time with Lily, once by body was super relaxed by an epidural, I progressed super fast and I was ready to give up my attachement to a natural birth, I was ok with it at that point, as I had pushed through 14 hours natural even with the high dose of the pits.

Let me explain why I have always been so adamant about a natural birth. Not only do I think it is empowering event for a woman, but I feel it helps provide better bonding for the mother and child due to all the hormones and adrenaline rushes. I'm not saying that not all women are denied these feelings with having a epidural. I just feel for me, the epidural blocks those emotions, with L I had the epidural in for over 4 hours. When she was born I wanted to let all these feeling and emotions rush out, but felt like I couldn't, I was so numb from it. Of course there is a lot of things to process with a first born and I don't think it was all the epidurals fault. I just really hated how it made me feel. Turns out I'm one of the lucky few who react to the medicine/drug they use. My legs tingle really bad and it hurts to touch them, I got the shakes REALLY bad, I itched like CRAZY, I get really bad body aches from the epidural spot down a week after and breathing became hard for me during labor. Everyone who I have talked to who have had an epidural, didn't have those reactions.
I only had the epidural in this time for less than 2 hours, so I felt better faster and felt more like my self quicker.

Once the meds kicked in the from the epidural and I was more relaxed, so the nurse checked me, both of us were relieved to hear I was at a 9. Then not 10 minutes later she checked me again after asking if I was feeling any pressure. That fast I was ready and at a 10.

Finally, I was going to meet my little guy! When the midwife had me start pushing, he was already starting to crown. Pretty soon after she became concerned and said that I needed to push him out faster. At this point she also gave me a small cut to help get him out faster, once most of his head was out, I could see why. ( I asked for a mirror to watch) The cord was wrapped around his neck and the midwife had to cut it right away. I didn't get to see anything else after that, as I was focusing on getting him all the way out.

They laid him on me for a few minutes, but when his heart rate wasn't up to what is should be they had to take him and call in the NICU to asses him. The cord wrapped around his neck really shocked him, he wasn't crying very much and was still pretty pale. I was pretty panic as they were looking him over, because they weren't saying a lot. I asked a lot if he was going to be okay. Each time they assured me he was going to be and I let  the nurses take this time to measure and weigh him. Finally after all that, I got to hold him longer, he looked a lot like his sister; both had the same nose, but he looked a lot like Jason then too.


After we got to have some time alone, I had to pass him off to Jason as I started feeling really funny, dizzy and faint. Jason took one look at me and said my lips were really blue. We called in the nurse and discovered I was bleeding heavily and having large blood clots. I started to shake again and felt really cold. So lucky me I got to stay downstairs until they could stabilize me, while Jason went up to our recovery room. They were able to get things under control quickly and I was brought upstairs to the recovery room. 


As far as recovery from this birth compared to L's was a major difference. I didn't hurt as much and felt up to doing things afterwards quicker, partially due to having a summer baby, but also due to that he has been such a good baby! He sleeps and eats A LOT (especially now as he is having a growth spurt) and the best best best part is that he goes to sleep quickly after eating! Which means I get back to sleep and even though he is still waking up a lot to eat, I'm getting more sleep than I did with L. Although we did have a little bump in the recovery road when my milk kicked in, I was woozy for a few days, looked really pale and felt awful; due to my body having to produce another liquid along with building up my blood supply again and this last weekend when I had super bad body aches and a temp of 100 for practically the whole weekend. (Got checked out by the midwife, she said it was just some funky viral infection and would go away on it's own) By tuesday, I was feeling 100% better.


After three weeks, I'm feeling much better. But still being really careful about how much I running around I am doing. Especially in this hot weather we are having! I get really tired fast, due to my body still working on that blood supply.

L is adjusting fairly well, we have more good days  than bad, but I know it's been hard for her. I'm doing my best to keep things normal for her and to have her help out with "taking care" of E. It's kinda hard as a Mother to see your older child question (in mine, it's her eyes) why all of a sudden this little thing demands so much of what used to be all mine of Mom's attention. It's kind of guilt trip-ish really, I'm trying everyday to do one special activity with her, to let her know that I'm still her Momma and love her very much.

All in all we are so glad to have our little guy here!!