When is it too late to start practicing?Just came from the kindergarten from a development talks. Parents are asked to come to the kindergarten once a year to talk about their children development.
So what would you expect this interview to focus on? The uniqueness of your child, how to help this unique creature in co-operation with kindergarten and parent to become a healthier and stronger person? Well, almost.
The real focus was the child weaknesses. Discussing what influence that approach has on the person self-esteem is a separate topic, what I wanted to discuss here was how the teachers are dealing with problems and how this can influence the latter pro-activity of the child.
The punishment commonly used in the kindergartens for misbehavior is to put children sitting in the "bad-child-chair" (or to separate him/her in some other way from others) and to repeat that until child quits the bad action. So the solution to deal with problems is to tell what is the correct way, then punish the ones who don't obey and praise the ones who do.
The problem with this approach is not only that it might be unfair (in case of many children you always don't see what is behind the fight and punish the wrong child), but it also places the responsibility on the teacher. Child doesn't have any other role than to fit in the world of rules - and try to be clever enough not the get caught when not fitting in. When caught - try to be even more cleverer so that it wouldn't happen again. It doesn't really make him understand the reasons and develop solutions.
In the world which is getting more and more complicated and it's hard even for grown ups to judge what is right and what is wrong, you most probably don't want to develop people who are always expecting someone else to know the answer. People who have learned to live in frameworks and do what is the right thing to do aren't too successful in a changing environment. But let's face it - the world changes quicker than the journalists can keep up and in the future we can expect things we don't even know how to get ready.
We need people who can evaluate the situation, analyze the options, choose the next step and then take responsibility of making that step. Yes, this ability has to come with the sense of community and understanding of collective knowledge, but it starts from every person taking individual responsibility.
Without justifying any of the problems - I truly think children should be encouraged to take responsibility over their action. Very often they already know what is right and what is wrong and also sense the feelings of others very well. So why not to ask them what do they think is the best solution for the problem?
The teacher told me: "I think it's too early to ask him his opinion." She believes more in telling and controlling. Well, I don't think it's ever too early to start supporting the simple ability to evaluate the situation and take responsibility.
With all the respect for the teacher - when is the right time to ask child's opinion? Or - when is it too late to start asking?
Any wonder most of the organizations are built on strict command lines. Any wonder people often find it hard to make decisions and that companies are head-hunting for people who are able to do so. Any wonder people are often hoping that someone else is responsible and therefor sit back and wait, getting bittered in the hope that things get will improve, but still not quite seeing that.
I believe we all need to trust our ability to make decisions and help others to do the same.
So - instead of telling the answer - ask. Ask your child what does he think is the best solution. Ask your team-member, co-worker, your partner, your friend. Make sure you listen as well. And then keep accountable.
So what would you expect this interview to focus on? The uniqueness of your child, how to help this unique creature in co-operation with kindergarten and parent to become a healthier and stronger person? Well, almost.
The real focus was the child weaknesses. Discussing what influence that approach has on the person self-esteem is a separate topic, what I wanted to discuss here was how the teachers are dealing with problems and how this can influence the latter pro-activity of the child.
The punishment commonly used in the kindergartens for misbehavior is to put children sitting in the "bad-child-chair" (or to separate him/her in some other way from others) and to repeat that until child quits the bad action. So the solution to deal with problems is to tell what is the correct way, then punish the ones who don't obey and praise the ones who do.
The problem with this approach is not only that it might be unfair (in case of many children you always don't see what is behind the fight and punish the wrong child), but it also places the responsibility on the teacher. Child doesn't have any other role than to fit in the world of rules - and try to be clever enough not the get caught when not fitting in. When caught - try to be even more cleverer so that it wouldn't happen again. It doesn't really make him understand the reasons and develop solutions.
In the world which is getting more and more complicated and it's hard even for grown ups to judge what is right and what is wrong, you most probably don't want to develop people who are always expecting someone else to know the answer. People who have learned to live in frameworks and do what is the right thing to do aren't too successful in a changing environment. But let's face it - the world changes quicker than the journalists can keep up and in the future we can expect things we don't even know how to get ready.
We need people who can evaluate the situation, analyze the options, choose the next step and then take responsibility of making that step. Yes, this ability has to come with the sense of community and understanding of collective knowledge, but it starts from every person taking individual responsibility.
Without justifying any of the problems - I truly think children should be encouraged to take responsibility over their action. Very often they already know what is right and what is wrong and also sense the feelings of others very well. So why not to ask them what do they think is the best solution for the problem?
The teacher told me: "I think it's too early to ask him his opinion." She believes more in telling and controlling. Well, I don't think it's ever too early to start supporting the simple ability to evaluate the situation and take responsibility.
With all the respect for the teacher - when is the right time to ask child's opinion? Or - when is it too late to start asking?
Any wonder most of the organizations are built on strict command lines. Any wonder people often find it hard to make decisions and that companies are head-hunting for people who are able to do so. Any wonder people are often hoping that someone else is responsible and therefor sit back and wait, getting bittered in the hope that things get will improve, but still not quite seeing that.
I believe we all need to trust our ability to make decisions and help others to do the same.
So - instead of telling the answer - ask. Ask your child what does he think is the best solution. Ask your team-member, co-worker, your partner, your friend. Make sure you listen as well. And then keep accountable.
