Thursday, September 28, 2006

safe and sound

At least I know that you are safe and sound.. that's the most important thing now.. I dun care about other things le..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 9:59 AM

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I juz hate him

i hate him.. yes.. i can onli use the word "hate".. so many yrs le.. i have been hating him.. he make mi miserable.. he makes my mum and dad miserable.. i hate him.. how i hope he nv appear before.. my mum will be happier.. i will be happier.. i hate him..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 3:27 PM

Everything was just keep pouring in.. I am exhausted.. I got a feeling tt one day it will be mi.. my turn to break down.. soon..

Still remember tt time xiu hui broke down in front of mi after the test. Nalini, Nura and mi were trying our very best to console her. however, i was thinking that how long can I go on further.. I am really exhausted recently. really very exhausted. I even feel like slping there n nv wake up again. feel so tired to face the day, the sun rise, the sun set. i juz hope tt i can slp n slp, nv wake up.

Yesterday, Nalini gave mi another shocking news. She is changing course. She, hu is the most steady among us, hu understand wat the lectures and tutorials were all about, telling mi that she wanna change course. my morale level immediately dropped. I dunno how to react. really dunno how. she was someone tt i look up to. and someone hu is giving mi the morale to go on in tis course. and now she said she wanna change course. i really dunno wat to do. i feel so tired, exhausted. i am not independent at all. i really need someone now. i am at a lost. any moment will be my turn to break down.. soon. wat should i do? hu can i tok to? i dunno.. i really dunno.. I juz know tt i can't breath... will there be anyone grabbing mi when i fall? i dunno.. exhausted..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 11:21 AM

Yesterday went to do my project with Jun Lin, Intan, Xiu Zhi and Ethel. Went to Tampines mall Mac to discuss abt our written presentation and oral presentation. Xiu Zhi's fren, Alvin, was there. Alvin was very important in our meeting last nite. W/o him, I doubt we can get wat we need.

At around 9.45pm, we proceed to our aim of the day: Changi Village Attack! Alvin drive us 4 gers to Changi Village while Jun Lin took his own bike. We reached there at around 10.15, and we saw our target: transsexual. Yes, our aim last nite was to interview transsexual. Alvin told us tt we will lucky to see one so early. so after getting off the car, Jun Lin went straight to appraoch her. she rejected the interview. was such a disappointment. as the time was early, Alvin drove us around the village to another car park and we saw another one. before we can make up our mind how to interview her, she was drove away by her customer. so we have to went back to the original carpark to discuss wat we should do. Alvin taught us the way to appraoch them and tell us wat type of qns should not be asked.. but then, as the time was really early, we went to coffee shop for a drink. the coffee shop uncle told us tt they will onli be out at 12.30- 12.45 am.. so all of us decided to wait till tt time.

After coffee session, we went into Alvin's car again. this time round, there were more of them. but somehow none wanna entertain us. so after thinking, we think tt we gers should not be there. so we left the job to Jun Lin and Alvin while we gers are slacking in the coffee shop and playing with cat. after a while, Alvin called. He said tt they looked too decent to catch their attention. however, they still continue to try. not long after tt, we received good news from Alvin. They found one and interviewed her. she is friendly and even said tt she can go to the lecture to tok abt it. she even showed her.... to Alvin and Jun Lin. too bad Jun Lin din manage to record the video. as the voice recording was so soft, we decided tt we will look for one more. Is the guys' job again. by then is already 1.30am. we gers are so tired. can c that the guys also. however, we failed. one of them keep increasing the price for interviewing them. from $30 to $50. when we gers are in the car, we saw that one of them even looked like "scolding" Alvin and Jun Lin. Feel so bad for the guys. but then, still failed.

We end the session at around 2+ am. tt was late. and the guys still have to drive. hope tt they are not too tired. anyway. muz really thank Alvin. is not his proj but he is the one doing the most job. anyway, last nite was a good experience to mi. first time seeing them. first time loitering around changi at tt hour. now, i understand them more, understand Changi Village more. A good experience.

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 10:52 AM

Sunday, September 24, 2006

No appetite

Food has becoming less impt in my life.. juz have no interest in eating.. no appetite.. cafe cartel, pizza hut, long john, subway, fish 'n' co, do not have any effect on mi.. juz dun feel like eating.. in fact, i juz feel like vomitting.. sianz.. wat the hell is the problem with mi.. argh! sometimes i even have phobia with drinking water.. WAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH MI!

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 1:49 PM

Congratulation!

At this point of time, i need to have courage.. need to be strong..

默默在你的身后守候的我
多想看你不经意的笑容
或许我的心你不懂
我会努力让你感动

在你眼中有多么笨拙的我
决不放弃追逐你的执着
只要你能再多些回应我
一个笑或点头全接受

能不能再靠近一点点
大声说出你所有感觉
别再紧紧关在只有自己的世界
温暖太阳为你迎接

能不能再靠近一点点
能不能再勇敢一点点
就算让我知道我永远只是单恋
我也会藏着感谢 笑着和你说再见

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 1:10 AM

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Sad

why things are happening one after another.. when i dun even have enough time to overcome the first one, another came.. my piano teacher told mi that she is not teaching le.. so sad.. when she finished saying tt, juz at tt point, my mum came in with a gift for her.. she was shocked.. after my mum left, she nearly cried, mi too.. juz tt i endure it coz i know tt if i shed a tear, both of us will be crying there.. but i am really sad.. really..

so many things happened.. i hope there is nutting more to come.. i cannot digest.. i really cannot digest.. i am tired.. very tired..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 9:36 PM

Good luck is then only thing to say.. or maybe Congrate is the next thing i should say..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 12:48 PM

Friday, September 22, 2006

thinking through..

have been thinking through n through.. yeah.. after tt nite of crying, i nv cry le.. proud of myself.. not tt i changed or anything, but i juz wan to be happy because someone is happy.. I think that someone is becoming more n more happy le.. tt's a great thing.. truely a great thing.. really hope tt this happiness of tt ppl will continue.. tt's truely wat i feel and wish now..

I am starting to learn to be independent le.. to be brave.. to be strong.. hope tt i can succeed..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 10:50 PM

doubt there will be a good talk from now on.. too understanding is sometime a bad thing to do too..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 12:01 AM

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I am scared

I am scared.. have been trying best to be brave.. but i am still scared..

hope to tok abt it.. but i know i can't..

l0ve `n live fer eu__]* 6:38 PM

.March
.10 March
.NP
.ilikehamster85@hotmail.com
. days more to 22 years old

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