미친년

Pride? Gosh, such a bitch. 
Yeah thanks everyone who just robbed away my chance of... okay whatever this world is seriously truly ugly. 
Why are people so afraid of speaking upfront? Why so afraid of telling the truth in each others' faces? 
Well, this is the norm and I am the norm. I didn't say I'm not. 
I just can't believe some people can do things to such extent. I'm utterly lost for words. 

인생은 어렵다
난 정말 피곤해

Need to Stop

Preparation for the 4 upcoming papers is taking a toll on me

I slowly start to not see the importance of having that one piece of paper (deemed so importantly by this society)  to be used in the future...? Really?

What happened to 'university life will be less stressful?'

Yes, maybe it's just me. Friends told me to take a chill pill. But I just can't grasp anything from this pile of lecture notes sitting right in front of me, and I can't stop trying. But then, again, what's the point?

And hence, late night sleep x 5

I can be

It's alright, it's okay. I'm a great girl and I know it myself. Can't wait to leave this shithole and explore the world.

A world of actors and actresses

All the pretence, ingenuity, painted-on smiles and deceitful conversations.
Show me your true colours and I would gladly not consider you in my life.
I wish I could give you a middle finger in your face right now.

Hectic

Hectic week.
Good morning & Good Night.

For whom?

And then I wonder, for whom am I doing all these for?

Myself, really? Or is it for this antagonistic society all so just to win this never-ending race?

Well oh well, the crazily insane week starts.

Good luck guys. 

IMY

So, I plucked up my courage and went into your profile page.
Read through what your friends have left for you on your timeline over and over again, since last year. I gave a bitter smile as they mentioned how a great man you were. God, I've to use past tense on you.

I read Norwegian Wood during my summer break, and came across this entire paragraph which I can relate so well to:
"Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life
Death exists and we go on living and breathing it into our lungs like fine dust.
Until that time, I had understood death as something entirely separate from and independent of life.
The hand of death is bound to take us, I had felt, but until the day it reached out for us, it leaves is alone.
This had seemed to me the simple, logical truth.
Life is here, death is over there." - Haruki Murakami

Yeah indeed you're over there, somewhere so far away that I can't feel you anymore. I hate this feeling, I want to feel you. Is this a sign that I should leave things behind? But no, I simply hate to, 'cause I'm missing you like crazy. That Sunday when I was alone, you purposely traveled down to my home, and passed me the Microsoft software that you bought for me, you treated me to dinner and we laughed as we watched a drama. You were tired from work, I could tell but you just wished to accompany that lonely me. But why? The week after, you disappeared.

I've been avoiding many things related to us, like I've never since ate at the stall we took away our last dinner from, I've never since played board or card games that only you have the patience to teach me among the other 10 over lovely cousins. However, sometimes, there's just a sudden hit that wakes me up from my self denial.  Every now and then, the image of your cold, colorless and stiff fingers would flash in my head. The rituals that  attended hits me so badly. It reminds me of the last journey we accompanied you through. Those were the days when I could still feel you so close to me. I  could feel your spirit,your soul, your voice telling me it's okay. My body and face warmed up so rapidly and I started tearing  like mad.

I miss you kor. Where are you? Are you still here with us?