Monday, August 13, 2018

Clouds

(I wrote this last fall.)

Clouds are funny things.

On happy days, clouds pair perfectly with a mug of spiced chai and a good book. Their dense fluff drapes gently over your shoulders much like the soft, tattered afghan your grandmother crocheted for you so many years ago. They envelop both you and the story into which you are slipping. You pull the clouds, and your blanket, closer around you as you settle comfortably, contentedly into the words and the mist.

But on sad days, you feel the wet, dense grayness of clouds bearing down heavily on your soul. It's hard to draw a deep breath against their weight, let alone get out of bed. Draw the covers over your head instead, shielding yourself from the damp melancholy. The clouds shower you with your cold, wet insecurities and fears. You burrow deeper beneath the quilt to escape the drenching downpour of self doubt. Perhaps you, and the sun, will try again tomorrow. 

And some days, clouds have no meaning at all. They simply exist. Some days you feel the same way. 

But the best days - the very best of days - are the days on which the clouds brilliantly showcase the splendor of the world. They team together with the sun, painting declarations of joy with sunset colors in the sky. The evening sun bathes the horizon with rich, thick light, but it is the clouds that capture it, soften it, make it art. The clouds reveal the beauty. 

Maybe clouds aren't funny at all. Maybe people are. 

Emotions, feelings. 


As unpredictable as the weather.

Friday, August 03, 2018

The thing

Writing. Writing has always been one of my favorite things. It’s been years since I spent any real time doing the thing. It’s not so much that I ran out of stuff to say (have we met?), but I ran out of time and energy to say the things I was thinking. And the things, they got bigger. Broader. Required more work to wordsmith than time I had free in the day. I grew discontented writing little snippets of my life (not to mention that microblogging like Twitter and Facebook statuses more than satisfied that need), and I wanted to say more.


So the thing is, I want to write a story. My god, do I have a story to tell. Love and learning and hope and fear and passion and loss. And growth. But before I endeavor to put pen to paper for something so big, it’s time to begin writing small. I need to tinker and fuss with words about things that mean less to me before I tackle something that means my heart.

So here, on this largely defunct platform on the backwaters of the internet, I will begin to write again. I will write here so that one day, I will be ready to write.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

I just want to go home

The phrase “I just want to go home” has such a different meaning as an adult. When I say it now I mean something more than wanting to return to my place of residence. It means more than returning to my parents’ home. I think it means returning to a time and place where I felt safe, felt sure, felt home.
Some days I’m tired and I just want to go home.