I've written a good ten or so posts in my head over the past few months. There are a lot of things that I have felt like sharing, but for some reason I can't get myself to sit down and put fingers to keyboard. It's amazing, the number of changes my life has seen in the past year and a half - graduated college, got married, changed jobs, started traveling for work, bought a house, moved, turned (eek!) thirty. I think in some ways I'm still in the throes of adjustment. All of these changes have been good ones, but I'm still figuring out the new rhythm of my life.
I've been blogging for five years. It's something I enjoy, and something I hope to continue. It'll be interesting to see what shape it takes as this new chapter of my life unfolds.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Green Day.
In 1994, I got Dookie on cassette for Christmas. I played it so much I nearly wore the tape out.
I love that fifteen years later, they still rock my socks off.
I love that fifteen years later, they still rock my socks off.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tapas!
Once or twice a year we throw a tapas party. Luis and I both enjoy Spanish cuisine, and there isn't any place in Missoula to get it. Every time we prepare tapas we try new dishes, along with traditional tapas menu items. This year we made more dishes than we ever have, and everything came out great. Here's what we served:
paella with chicken and chorizo
tuna tartlets (phyllo dough tart cups filled with a tomato slice, tuna, and topped with a dressing of white wine vinegar, olive oil and minced shallots)
chorizo in red wine
tortilla (Spanish tortilla is actually like an omelet - it's egg, potato and onion cooked into a huge slab, then sliced and served at room temperature. It's delicious!)
garbanzo beans with spinach (cooked with cumin, paprika, olive oil and white wine vinegar)
moorish skewers (though ironically, the recipe had us use pork...)
chicken and mushroom skewers (marinated in lemon juice, garlic and olive oil)
roasted almonds
olives
manchego, plus a new find - a delicious creamy sheep's cheese (can't remember the name)
patatas bravas (roasted potato wedges in a fiery red sauce)
chocolate covered almonds (Luis roasts all the almonds himself, then he dips some in semisweet chocolate and sprinkles them with coarse sea salt OMG good)
And of course, LOTS of sangria. I think we went through about 12 bottles of red wine? Mmmm...
It was a great evening. Once again, I forgot to take any photos.
(I was looking for online photos of some of the dishes we prepared, and this website has several of the items we made. Not the exact recipes we used, but they are quite similar.)
paella with chicken and chorizo
tuna tartlets (phyllo dough tart cups filled with a tomato slice, tuna, and topped with a dressing of white wine vinegar, olive oil and minced shallots)
chorizo in red wine
tortilla (Spanish tortilla is actually like an omelet - it's egg, potato and onion cooked into a huge slab, then sliced and served at room temperature. It's delicious!)
garbanzo beans with spinach (cooked with cumin, paprika, olive oil and white wine vinegar)
moorish skewers (though ironically, the recipe had us use pork...)
chicken and mushroom skewers (marinated in lemon juice, garlic and olive oil)
roasted almonds
olives
manchego, plus a new find - a delicious creamy sheep's cheese (can't remember the name)
patatas bravas (roasted potato wedges in a fiery red sauce)
chocolate covered almonds (Luis roasts all the almonds himself, then he dips some in semisweet chocolate and sprinkles them with coarse sea salt OMG good)
And of course, LOTS of sangria. I think we went through about 12 bottles of red wine? Mmmm...
It was a great evening. Once again, I forgot to take any photos.
(I was looking for online photos of some of the dishes we prepared, and this website has several of the items we made. Not the exact recipes we used, but they are quite similar.)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Infectious summer.
Summer in western Montana is short, at least by my midwestern standards. I think of summer as the sweltering, endless days and warm muggy nights of my youth. Summer here means gorgeous, long sunny days, but the heat isn't the same. The month of July generally provides the only truly sizzling temperatures of our summer - frenzied, jam-packed days of sunshine and hiking and rivers and cheap beer and good friends, trying to drink it all in before summer burns out. Somewhere around the first week of August the fever of summer breaks - the temperatures are still warm, but the sun feels weaker, as though it's winding down for the season. The crisp alpine air rolls in nightly, bringing with it faint smells of autumn, even while the calendar attests summer.
Once again the feverish summer days are drawing to a close, and fall is just around the corner.
Once again the feverish summer days are drawing to a close, and fall is just around the corner.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Two part time worlds.
My new job is in another town. As such, I took a little apartment there - it's almost an hour and a half drive each way, and there is no way I could manage that with twelve hour shifts. I enjoy the job and I love the town where I'm staying, but having two "homes" has cleaved my life into two separate worlds.
When I leave for work I am pretty much cut off from the world at large. I don't have internet or television at my other place. No need, really - after I get off work at six o'clock I usually go home, eat, drink a glass of wine, do some yoga, and then it's bedtime. I am reluctant to add distractions, because being a new nurse is already stressful - add that to the unique environment where I practice, and well, I need to be alert. I try to protect my sleep time so that I can function safely and also not burn out too quickly. I'm lucky that after a long day I get to come home to a cute little apartment with no responsibilities, and just relax. It's a nice way to work.
When I come home at the end of my work week (which is either three or four days... awesome) it's a little strange. It feels like my life at home chugs along without me, and I just get to pop in sometimes. I've only been doing this a few months, so I'm sure I'll get used to it, but for now the experience is surreal.
When I leave for work I am pretty much cut off from the world at large. I don't have internet or television at my other place. No need, really - after I get off work at six o'clock I usually go home, eat, drink a glass of wine, do some yoga, and then it's bedtime. I am reluctant to add distractions, because being a new nurse is already stressful - add that to the unique environment where I practice, and well, I need to be alert. I try to protect my sleep time so that I can function safely and also not burn out too quickly. I'm lucky that after a long day I get to come home to a cute little apartment with no responsibilities, and just relax. It's a nice way to work.
When I come home at the end of my work week (which is either three or four days... awesome) it's a little strange. It feels like my life at home chugs along without me, and I just get to pop in sometimes. I've only been doing this a few months, so I'm sure I'll get used to it, but for now the experience is surreal.
A new record...
...but not the kind I was striving for.
I went a whole month with no posts. There will be no "July 2009" in my blog archive sidebar.
Sad.
I love blogging, and I miss writing since being out of school. No assignments, no papers, no presentations. It's strange that I haven't been able to use this outlet to get my writing fix. :)
Hoping to get my groove back. I miss you, internets.
I went a whole month with no posts. There will be no "July 2009" in my blog archive sidebar.
Sad.
I love blogging, and I miss writing since being out of school. No assignments, no papers, no presentations. It's strange that I haven't been able to use this outlet to get my writing fix. :)
Hoping to get my groove back. I miss you, internets.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sleepy snuffle bear.
Over the past few years, I've had periodic bouts of sore throats and sneezing come on during the spring and early summer months. Each time I assumed that I was coming down with a cold, and began a regimen of zinc, vitamin C and extra rest. Each time, the symptoms subsided after a couple of days, and I heartily congratulated myself on the successful thwarting of another cold virus. It wasn't until last year when the symptoms showed up that I realized it was coinciding with with an increase in allergy sufferers' symptoms around town. I felt pretty dumb when it finally occurred to me that I have seasonal allergies (plus it took away my cold-related health victories), but at least I know how to treat it now.
Today is, hands down, the worst day of allergies I have ever experienced. I've been crazy sneezy, sniffly, watery-eyed and spacy. I don't feel bad, exactly, just useless. Blah. I spent the afternoon on the couch, mouth breathing and staring blankly at the television.
Just took a couple of benadryl - don't know how much it'll help relieve my symptoms, but I'll sleep like a baby.
Today is, hands down, the worst day of allergies I have ever experienced. I've been crazy sneezy, sniffly, watery-eyed and spacy. I don't feel bad, exactly, just useless. Blah. I spent the afternoon on the couch, mouth breathing and staring blankly at the television.
Just took a couple of benadryl - don't know how much it'll help relieve my symptoms, but I'll sleep like a baby.
Monday, June 22, 2009
My prescription.
Let me start first by saying that individuals should not stop or alter their medical treatment plans without first discussing it with their healthcare provider. Secondly, I am not against the use of pharmaceutical treatments - when used appropriately, they can be a useful tool in improving the health of an individual.
Now, with the disclaimers out of the way...
The other day I read an article on Yahoo news, which discusses recent research about sleep and the processing of emotions. It's an interesting read - if you have a few minutes you should check it out. But the basic gist of it is that current research suggests sleep is important in the process of emotional regulation. During sleep, the mind reviews and files away the events of the day, and in doing so it processes the emotional aspect of the experience as well. They also looked at the role of sleep and rest as it relates to an individual's ability to recognize social emotional cues. In this particular study, researchers provided some people with naps and kept some awake, and then all participants were asked to decipher facial expressions of people in pictures. The people with more rest (specifically those who had achieved REM sleep) were more readily able to recognize positive emotions, and those without the additional sleep were more sensitive to negative emotions.
Interesting, right? But maybe it shouldn't be news - maybe this should be common sense.
I have been dealing with depression since my mid-teens. In my early twenties I began antidepressant therapy, and it helped me immensely. I was able to get a leg up in life. Getting my depression under control was the first step in getting my life back under control. After seeking treatment for depression, I was able to remedy other problems in my life. I got out of an unhealthy relationship. I joined Weight Watchers and lost weight, and I became more physically active. I began to feel good about myself. As I became more attuned to the nuances of my physical and mental self, I began to recognize my triggers for feeling low. My mom (a wise woman, always with good sound advice), suggested that to stay healthy, I monitor three things: food, sleep, and exercise. I took that advice to heart, and it works amazingly well. I find that if I'm feeling gloomy or physically run-down, generally I'm falling short in one of those three areas. I took the antidepressants for about a year, and it was a tremendous help. However, I am now able to manage my emotional health by managing my physical health. (Though if I ever felt as though I needed more help, I would certainly see my doctor about getting back on medication.)
I share this personal information for several reasons. First, I believe that mental health is important to talk about. We need to get rid of the stigma around these issues and start talking. If we don't know, then we can't help. Second, my personal experience strongly colors my views on health and wellness. Third, body and mind are connected. Interconnected. In western medicine, for some strange reason we separate them into two different entities, though we should know better. Each is entirely dependent on the other, and each can affect the other.
Watch television for a few hours, and see what kind of ads you see for medications and treatments - you know, the "ask your doctor if the purple pill is right for you" kind of ads. I'd lay money that two of the most common issues you'll see are weight control and depression. I believe that this isn't a coincidence. I believe that these are symptoms of a bigger issue in America. Our lifestyles have become extremely sedentary, and so many of our food options are in high quantity and low nutritional quality. What we have gained in the name of convenience, we have lost in quality of life. Our bodies are built to retain excess calories taken in - our early ancstors used to burn every calorie they consumed just procuring their next meal. Our bodies are built for work - work we're no longer doing.
Losing weight is hard. In our culture, food is everywhere. In all cultures, food is used to celebrate, to connect with others. And overeating is a difficult addictive behavior to break, because unlike smoking or drinking or gambling, you can't quit eating altogether. You have to eat to live, so you must alter the behavior rather than extinguish it. But it can be done.
The reason I bring up weight management and depression in the same discussion is because there is a treatment that can help with both: Exercise. Research has shown repetedly that physical activity can alleviate symptoms of depression¹². And as we all know, the basic science for weight loss is to move more and eat less.
I am not saying that everyone on antidepressants should give up their medication and start jogging. There are great benefits from these drugs, and they help people. There are some people who are going to need pharmaceutical treatment, period, and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's compare it to another health issue, like high cholesterol. Everyone could take Lipitor and reduce their cholesterol. But we could also alter our diet and increase our physical activity and reduce our cholesterol that way. Some people, just because of their particular body and the way it works, will not be able to get their cholesterol down far enough with diet and exercise, and may still need to take the drug. But, even if they need to continue the drug therapy, they will benefit from the diet modification and increased activity. In my opinion, same could go with mild to moderate depression. Everyone with depression could treat it with medication and get results. If we add regular physical activity, some of those people could probably achieve good results without the meds. And some people, because of their body and the way it works, will need the medication even with the activity. But whether or not you wind up needing the medication, you will benefit from the exercise.
Whe I chose the above example, I didn't realize until I was typing it out that it is another health issue which can be modified with diet and exercise. What others are there?
blood pressure - improve by lowering body weight, decreasing salt and caffiene intake. (mayoclinic.com)
type II diabetes - manage by decreasing body weight, modifying diet to decrease volume of processed sugars, increasing activity. (interesting side note - exercise helps the body to improve its use of glucose (sugar/fuel). Insulin is a hormone that helps the body's cells to take in glucose, which is what they use for fuel. During physical activity, glucose is more easily taken up by the cells, which lowers levels of sugar in the blood. (diabetesjournals.org)
arthritis - regular, low impact physical activity has been shown to decrease pain and improve mobility in arthritis (uw orthopaedics and sports medicine)
stroke - exercise and healthy diet decrease risk
heart disease - exercise and healthy diet decrease risk
cancer - healthy diet and exercise can help decrease risk for some forms of cancer
All of this leads me to my own personal mantra for health:
Food, exercise, rest.
Food: eat foods that have nutritional value. Limit the intake of highly processed foods, high fat and high sugar items, and decrease the quantity of everything.
Exercise: get moving. Move every day. Get the heart rate up and the body sweating.
Rest: get enough sleep. Schedule it in, make it a priority.
I'll get down off my soapbox now. I know most of this isn't groundbreaking stuff, but I have to admit - it was for me. This changed my life. I'm happier, healthier, and stronger than I was. I hope my exceedingly long post may help someone - anyone, to take a hand in improving their own health.
1. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2192427
2. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/mh00043
Now, with the disclaimers out of the way...
The other day I read an article on Yahoo news, which discusses recent research about sleep and the processing of emotions. It's an interesting read - if you have a few minutes you should check it out. But the basic gist of it is that current research suggests sleep is important in the process of emotional regulation. During sleep, the mind reviews and files away the events of the day, and in doing so it processes the emotional aspect of the experience as well. They also looked at the role of sleep and rest as it relates to an individual's ability to recognize social emotional cues. In this particular study, researchers provided some people with naps and kept some awake, and then all participants were asked to decipher facial expressions of people in pictures. The people with more rest (specifically those who had achieved REM sleep) were more readily able to recognize positive emotions, and those without the additional sleep were more sensitive to negative emotions.
Interesting, right? But maybe it shouldn't be news - maybe this should be common sense.
I have been dealing with depression since my mid-teens. In my early twenties I began antidepressant therapy, and it helped me immensely. I was able to get a leg up in life. Getting my depression under control was the first step in getting my life back under control. After seeking treatment for depression, I was able to remedy other problems in my life. I got out of an unhealthy relationship. I joined Weight Watchers and lost weight, and I became more physically active. I began to feel good about myself. As I became more attuned to the nuances of my physical and mental self, I began to recognize my triggers for feeling low. My mom (a wise woman, always with good sound advice), suggested that to stay healthy, I monitor three things: food, sleep, and exercise. I took that advice to heart, and it works amazingly well. I find that if I'm feeling gloomy or physically run-down, generally I'm falling short in one of those three areas. I took the antidepressants for about a year, and it was a tremendous help. However, I am now able to manage my emotional health by managing my physical health. (Though if I ever felt as though I needed more help, I would certainly see my doctor about getting back on medication.)
I share this personal information for several reasons. First, I believe that mental health is important to talk about. We need to get rid of the stigma around these issues and start talking. If we don't know, then we can't help. Second, my personal experience strongly colors my views on health and wellness. Third, body and mind are connected. Interconnected. In western medicine, for some strange reason we separate them into two different entities, though we should know better. Each is entirely dependent on the other, and each can affect the other.
Watch television for a few hours, and see what kind of ads you see for medications and treatments - you know, the "ask your doctor if the purple pill is right for you" kind of ads. I'd lay money that two of the most common issues you'll see are weight control and depression. I believe that this isn't a coincidence. I believe that these are symptoms of a bigger issue in America. Our lifestyles have become extremely sedentary, and so many of our food options are in high quantity and low nutritional quality. What we have gained in the name of convenience, we have lost in quality of life. Our bodies are built to retain excess calories taken in - our early ancstors used to burn every calorie they consumed just procuring their next meal. Our bodies are built for work - work we're no longer doing.
Losing weight is hard. In our culture, food is everywhere. In all cultures, food is used to celebrate, to connect with others. And overeating is a difficult addictive behavior to break, because unlike smoking or drinking or gambling, you can't quit eating altogether. You have to eat to live, so you must alter the behavior rather than extinguish it. But it can be done.
The reason I bring up weight management and depression in the same discussion is because there is a treatment that can help with both: Exercise. Research has shown repetedly that physical activity can alleviate symptoms of depression¹². And as we all know, the basic science for weight loss is to move more and eat less.
I am not saying that everyone on antidepressants should give up their medication and start jogging. There are great benefits from these drugs, and they help people. There are some people who are going to need pharmaceutical treatment, period, and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's compare it to another health issue, like high cholesterol. Everyone could take Lipitor and reduce their cholesterol. But we could also alter our diet and increase our physical activity and reduce our cholesterol that way. Some people, just because of their particular body and the way it works, will not be able to get their cholesterol down far enough with diet and exercise, and may still need to take the drug. But, even if they need to continue the drug therapy, they will benefit from the diet modification and increased activity. In my opinion, same could go with mild to moderate depression. Everyone with depression could treat it with medication and get results. If we add regular physical activity, some of those people could probably achieve good results without the meds. And some people, because of their body and the way it works, will need the medication even with the activity. But whether or not you wind up needing the medication, you will benefit from the exercise.
Whe I chose the above example, I didn't realize until I was typing it out that it is another health issue which can be modified with diet and exercise. What others are there?
blood pressure - improve by lowering body weight, decreasing salt and caffiene intake. (mayoclinic.com)
type II diabetes - manage by decreasing body weight, modifying diet to decrease volume of processed sugars, increasing activity. (interesting side note - exercise helps the body to improve its use of glucose (sugar/fuel). Insulin is a hormone that helps the body's cells to take in glucose, which is what they use for fuel. During physical activity, glucose is more easily taken up by the cells, which lowers levels of sugar in the blood. (diabetesjournals.org)
arthritis - regular, low impact physical activity has been shown to decrease pain and improve mobility in arthritis (uw orthopaedics and sports medicine)
stroke - exercise and healthy diet decrease risk
heart disease - exercise and healthy diet decrease risk
cancer - healthy diet and exercise can help decrease risk for some forms of cancer
All of this leads me to my own personal mantra for health:
Food, exercise, rest.
Food: eat foods that have nutritional value. Limit the intake of highly processed foods, high fat and high sugar items, and decrease the quantity of everything.
Exercise: get moving. Move every day. Get the heart rate up and the body sweating.
Rest: get enough sleep. Schedule it in, make it a priority.
I'll get down off my soapbox now. I know most of this isn't groundbreaking stuff, but I have to admit - it was for me. This changed my life. I'm happier, healthier, and stronger than I was. I hope my exceedingly long post may help someone - anyone, to take a hand in improving their own health.
1. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2192427
2. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/mh00043
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Happy April Fools Day.
I have always regarded April first warily - I'm very gullible, and thus always fall for at least one silly prank. Rest assured, there will be no jokes from me...
______________________________________________
I haven't written much lately, mostly because I haven't had much to report. I'm still job hunting, and I recently expanded my search to include positions in neighboring towns. My initial plan didn't include commuting, but times are tough, and I'm hoping that flexibility will pay off. I am fortunate that I am in a position in life where I can travel if I need - no kids or pets (yet) to require my presence at home every single day. If I get a position in another town, I'll probably request consecutive shifts and just stay over for those days. Really, after a twelve hour shift I won't be doing anything but sleeping anyhow, so might as well not drive the hour or so back to Missoula just for that. I'm hoping that once I have some experience, I will more easily get a job here in town. It's nice to have some sort of plan - makes me feel more in control of the situation...
______________________________________________
It's very strange, not having any demands on my time. No schoolwork, no exams to study for - it's weird. The other day I crashed out on the couch and watched hours and hours of the DIY network, and the absence of some other task or project to feel guilty about neglecting was - well, at first it was refreshing, but after a while it became unsettling. I actually function much better if I'm busy. So now I'm back to the house stuff, coming up with some projects to keep my mind occupied and give me a sense of accomplishment. Next up, making curtains. I have almost no sewing experience, but I'm sure I can figure it out... :)
______________________________________________
I haven't written much lately, mostly because I haven't had much to report. I'm still job hunting, and I recently expanded my search to include positions in neighboring towns. My initial plan didn't include commuting, but times are tough, and I'm hoping that flexibility will pay off. I am fortunate that I am in a position in life where I can travel if I need - no kids or pets (yet) to require my presence at home every single day. If I get a position in another town, I'll probably request consecutive shifts and just stay over for those days. Really, after a twelve hour shift I won't be doing anything but sleeping anyhow, so might as well not drive the hour or so back to Missoula just for that. I'm hoping that once I have some experience, I will more easily get a job here in town. It's nice to have some sort of plan - makes me feel more in control of the situation...
______________________________________________
It's very strange, not having any demands on my time. No schoolwork, no exams to study for - it's weird. The other day I crashed out on the couch and watched hours and hours of the DIY network, and the absence of some other task or project to feel guilty about neglecting was - well, at first it was refreshing, but after a while it became unsettling. I actually function much better if I'm busy. So now I'm back to the house stuff, coming up with some projects to keep my mind occupied and give me a sense of accomplishment. Next up, making curtains. I have almost no sewing experience, but I'm sure I can figure it out... :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Midwest, redux.
I'm heading back to Kansas next week to help the family out after my dad's upcoming surgery. He's a trooper, and I'm sure he'll heal up just fine. :) I just want to be there to help out with whatever they might need. I'm looking forward to seeing family again - the downside of living so far away from my hometown is that I see my folks once, maybe twice a year. It's not enough, really, but we make the most of the time we do get, and we supplement with lots of calls and texts and photos.
So all things considered, it should be a good trip. And I took a quick look at weather.com-- this doesn't sound so bad either:
So all things considered, it should be a good trip. And I took a quick look at weather.com-- this doesn't sound so bad either:
Friday, March 13, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Big One.
Tomorrow I take the NCLEX-RN (stands for the National Council Licensure Examination for Registered Nurses). This is the exam that proves my competency to practice as a registered nurse, and upon passing I will receive my license to be a nurse in the great state of Montana.
It would be much easier if I could just promise the state board that I'm safe and competent, but that doesn't appear to fly. Instead, I'll drive to Helena, get fingerprinted and frisked, and go in to sit the exam. I have six hours to complete it, and I will answer somewhere between 75 and 265 questions. It's a computer adaptive test, so it bases the question selection on how I've answered previous questions.
I don't get much test anxiety, but I'm nervous for this one. For the past few weeks I've reviewed and answered practice questions for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour, most days of the week, but right at the moment it's not feeling like enough. I have friends who studied by just taking practice questions, and other friends who reviewed for hours a day, several weeks. So far, everyone from my class has passed. At first that was reassuring, but then a new thought occurred to me - what if I become the only flunkie of the bunch?
On the bright side, for $10 I can see my test results online the next day. It used to be that you had to wait for a letter, and it took a couple of weeks to get your results.
I booked myself a nice hotel in Helena for tonight - my test is at 8:00 in the morning, so I need to stay in town the night before. I found one with a workout center and a hot tub - two ways I loooove to relax. My current plan is hard workout, hot tub, dinner, wine, sleep, pass exam.
Any number of variations on the plan are acceptable, so long as they include that last step.
In a few minutes I'll pack my bags and hit the road. Wish me luck!
It would be much easier if I could just promise the state board that I'm safe and competent, but that doesn't appear to fly. Instead, I'll drive to Helena, get fingerprinted and frisked, and go in to sit the exam. I have six hours to complete it, and I will answer somewhere between 75 and 265 questions. It's a computer adaptive test, so it bases the question selection on how I've answered previous questions.
I don't get much test anxiety, but I'm nervous for this one. For the past few weeks I've reviewed and answered practice questions for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour, most days of the week, but right at the moment it's not feeling like enough. I have friends who studied by just taking practice questions, and other friends who reviewed for hours a day, several weeks. So far, everyone from my class has passed. At first that was reassuring, but then a new thought occurred to me - what if I become the only flunkie of the bunch?
On the bright side, for $10 I can see my test results online the next day. It used to be that you had to wait for a letter, and it took a couple of weeks to get your results.
I booked myself a nice hotel in Helena for tonight - my test is at 8:00 in the morning, so I need to stay in town the night before. I found one with a workout center and a hot tub - two ways I loooove to relax. My current plan is hard workout, hot tub, dinner, wine, sleep, pass exam.
Any number of variations on the plan are acceptable, so long as they include that last step.
In a few minutes I'll pack my bags and hit the road. Wish me luck!
Sunday, March 01, 2009
March first?
Boy, how time flies when you're in a freefall.
The past few months have been very surreal. I have been mostly unemployed since January 1st (randomly picking up receptionist shifts for my old company when I can), living somewhere new and not going to school. Any of these changes alone would be stressful, but doing it all at once has thrown me way off balance. At times I've almost felt as though I stepped into someone else's life. I've had a hard time getting into any of my normal routines - I haven't been to the gym since I was in Topeka!
I'm going to start back to the gym today. The first of the month always seems like a good time to make changes, and I'm hoping that by getting back into that routine, I will be able to garner some normalcy for myself.
I really miss going to school. I love to learn (though fortunately I'm studying for the NCLEX, so I'm still doing that part), but more than that I miss my classmates. I spent every day with those people for two and a half years, and they really began to feel like a family. I still see and talk to some of them, and everyone passes along updates and good news about one another's lives and jobs, but it's just not the same. A lot of them are working as nurses already, which means long shifts, often nights and weekends. Others are holed up, studying for their NCLEX. And lots of them have scattered, moving for jobs or to be with family. For the first month I felt a dull ache in my chest when I thought back to being in class with everyone. The day before the semester began at the university I even had a dream about being back in school. I think my loneliness was compounded by the fact that I was spending all day, every day at home by myself. It's been much better the past couple of weeks - since I've been filling in more at the office I'm getting some social interaction with old friends and coworkers. I enjoy having time to myself from time to time, but I'm a social person, and I really need to be around people.
The work situation is one that I have little control over, and I'm trying to be patient. I did interview at a hospital several weeks ago, but the first thing nurse recruiter told me was that they had frozen several of their open RN positions due to low census. (Low census is when there aren't very many patients in the hospital. Even hospitals are feeling the economic crunch.) I had a pretty good interview with her, but I haven't heard back since. I don't know if they are holding off still on hiring for that position or if they have filled it. I am trying to put that job out of my mind, and just watch for new ones opening up. Something will work out in time.
I hate to sound like a whiner. I love our new house (and that we can afford it even with me unemployed, thanks to my hard-working (and tenured!) husband), I'm proud of graduating from college, and I'm excited about all the new things in my life. But positive change is still change, so it's still stress. Remembering that helps me be kinder to myself when I feel a little out of whack.
The past few months have been very surreal. I have been mostly unemployed since January 1st (randomly picking up receptionist shifts for my old company when I can), living somewhere new and not going to school. Any of these changes alone would be stressful, but doing it all at once has thrown me way off balance. At times I've almost felt as though I stepped into someone else's life. I've had a hard time getting into any of my normal routines - I haven't been to the gym since I was in Topeka!
I'm going to start back to the gym today. The first of the month always seems like a good time to make changes, and I'm hoping that by getting back into that routine, I will be able to garner some normalcy for myself.
I really miss going to school. I love to learn (though fortunately I'm studying for the NCLEX, so I'm still doing that part), but more than that I miss my classmates. I spent every day with those people for two and a half years, and they really began to feel like a family. I still see and talk to some of them, and everyone passes along updates and good news about one another's lives and jobs, but it's just not the same. A lot of them are working as nurses already, which means long shifts, often nights and weekends. Others are holed up, studying for their NCLEX. And lots of them have scattered, moving for jobs or to be with family. For the first month I felt a dull ache in my chest when I thought back to being in class with everyone. The day before the semester began at the university I even had a dream about being back in school. I think my loneliness was compounded by the fact that I was spending all day, every day at home by myself. It's been much better the past couple of weeks - since I've been filling in more at the office I'm getting some social interaction with old friends and coworkers. I enjoy having time to myself from time to time, but I'm a social person, and I really need to be around people.
The work situation is one that I have little control over, and I'm trying to be patient. I did interview at a hospital several weeks ago, but the first thing nurse recruiter told me was that they had frozen several of their open RN positions due to low census. (Low census is when there aren't very many patients in the hospital. Even hospitals are feeling the economic crunch.) I had a pretty good interview with her, but I haven't heard back since. I don't know if they are holding off still on hiring for that position or if they have filled it. I am trying to put that job out of my mind, and just watch for new ones opening up. Something will work out in time.
I hate to sound like a whiner. I love our new house (and that we can afford it even with me unemployed, thanks to my hard-working (and tenured!) husband), I'm proud of graduating from college, and I'm excited about all the new things in my life. But positive change is still change, so it's still stress. Remembering that helps me be kinder to myself when I feel a little out of whack.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
For your Valentine's listening enjoyment, I present two beautiful duets, sung in heart-tugging harmonies.
Lucky - Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat
Once - Falling Slowly
Lucky - Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat
Once - Falling Slowly
Monday, February 09, 2009
All things misc.
I woke up this morning, and my google blogstalker feature was inundated with new posts from my various subscriptions. I dove in and read everybody, and then felt guilty for all of the neglect my blog has seen since... well, last fall. It's a silly thing to feel guilty about, especially since there are no clamouring audiences waiting anxiously for my next words. There is only me, wishing I had the patience or energy to sit down and write, since it's something I enjoy so much. (And a few kindly readers who pop as well. Hi! And thanks!) However, I'm better at guilt than I am at writing, so it often wins out and I guiltily indulge in reading everyone else's new thoughts while leaving my own blog untouched.
So today - a miscellaneous update post (also known as an excuse post). Some people aren't fans of the random topic update type of post, but it's one of my favorites. The only theme to my blog is me, and those of you who know me personally will agree that the long-winded-random-strings-of-stories-with-no-point posts are closest to what real life with Mandi is like. (For better or worse...)
Anyhow, away we go!
This weekend we had our housewarming open house. It turned out to be a pretty good party, and it was fun to have people over to our (mostly unpacked) house. We netted six or so bottles of wine plus two of champagne - I'm going to have to have people over again to drink all the wine they brought this time. Interestingly, the party seems to have worked - it feels so much more like home now that we've had our friends over. Maybe the walls absorb the happiness and the laughter and the little kids' joyful shrieks, but somehow the energy feels different. Maybe it's all perception. Whatever it was, it worked. This place feels like home.
We moved into this house three weeks ago yesterday. It's gone by quick, mostly because I've kept busy with lots of little repairs and improvements. I painted the laundry room and the downstairs bathroom (twice for the bath - didn't like the first color), done small electrical and plumbing fixes (leaky faucets and toilets), patched nail holes and drywall and all sorts of other little odd jobs. I really enjoy that type of work - there is a real satisfaction in standing back and seeing something that works because I fixed it, or that looks good because I put a lot of time into the details of patching or painting it. It's kept me busy and distracted from the fact that I am jobless and broke...
...but -- I have an interview tomorrow! Wish me luck - it's at the hospital where I really want to work, and for a job that isn't overnights! If the position I originally applied for is still open, it's a 3-11:30 evening shift. I had sort of reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that I would have to work 12 hour shifts overnight (7p-7a) as a new graduate nurse, but I just really don't want to. I worked nights at the post office years ago, and I had a really difficult time with the sleep deprivation. Granted, I worked part time there (midnight to 6am, about three days a week), but I also worked at a department store, taught clarinet lessons two days a week, and went to college full time. God, to be twenty again... I only managed that schedule for about six weeks before I quit the night job, but these days I imagine I could survive for about, oh, 48 hours before I went completely berserk. Anyhow, evenings sounds lovely by comparison. Cross your fingers for me!
Okay, I'm off to unpack all of my nursing books so I can get started on studying for my boards. I finally set my test date (March 11th) and now that there are a finite number of days between now and when I'll sit down to the exam, I'm feeling the pressure to crack some books. Yay!
But before I go, one more thing:
So today - a miscellaneous update post (also known as an excuse post). Some people aren't fans of the random topic update type of post, but it's one of my favorites. The only theme to my blog is me, and those of you who know me personally will agree that the long-winded-random-strings-of-stories-with-no-point posts are closest to what real life with Mandi is like. (For better or worse...)
Anyhow, away we go!
This weekend we had our housewarming open house. It turned out to be a pretty good party, and it was fun to have people over to our (mostly unpacked) house. We netted six or so bottles of wine plus two of champagne - I'm going to have to have people over again to drink all the wine they brought this time. Interestingly, the party seems to have worked - it feels so much more like home now that we've had our friends over. Maybe the walls absorb the happiness and the laughter and the little kids' joyful shrieks, but somehow the energy feels different. Maybe it's all perception. Whatever it was, it worked. This place feels like home.
We moved into this house three weeks ago yesterday. It's gone by quick, mostly because I've kept busy with lots of little repairs and improvements. I painted the laundry room and the downstairs bathroom (twice for the bath - didn't like the first color), done small electrical and plumbing fixes (leaky faucets and toilets), patched nail holes and drywall and all sorts of other little odd jobs. I really enjoy that type of work - there is a real satisfaction in standing back and seeing something that works because I fixed it, or that looks good because I put a lot of time into the details of patching or painting it. It's kept me busy and distracted from the fact that I am jobless and broke...
...but -- I have an interview tomorrow! Wish me luck - it's at the hospital where I really want to work, and for a job that isn't overnights! If the position I originally applied for is still open, it's a 3-11:30 evening shift. I had sort of reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that I would have to work 12 hour shifts overnight (7p-7a) as a new graduate nurse, but I just really don't want to. I worked nights at the post office years ago, and I had a really difficult time with the sleep deprivation. Granted, I worked part time there (midnight to 6am, about three days a week), but I also worked at a department store, taught clarinet lessons two days a week, and went to college full time. God, to be twenty again... I only managed that schedule for about six weeks before I quit the night job, but these days I imagine I could survive for about, oh, 48 hours before I went completely berserk. Anyhow, evenings sounds lovely by comparison. Cross your fingers for me!
Okay, I'm off to unpack all of my nursing books so I can get started on studying for my boards. I finally set my test date (March 11th) and now that there are a finite number of days between now and when I'll sit down to the exam, I'm feeling the pressure to crack some books. Yay!
But before I go, one more thing:
Happy birthday to my wonderful brother-in-law Emilio!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Celebrating the beginning of change.
President Barack Obama dancing at the Inaugural Ball.
Photo by Jason Reed, Reuter's. As seen at news.yahoo.comYes he can... dance. :) Glad to see he's as excited as we are!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Moving fun!
A week ago today an army of friends showed up at our apartment and proceeded to swiftly and artfully load our U-Haul, plus Creighton's pickup truck and Steve's flatbead trailer. Two hours later we were sitting amongst a sea of boxes in our new house, eating Pringles and gabbing. It was, without a doubt, the fastest move I've ever made. Thanks so much to Ashlee, Kate, another Kate, Steve, Creighton, James, and Tommy for the fantastic help!
This past week has been war - me against the boxes. I don't like living out of boxes, and I pride myself on being quick to settle in to new places. And since I am currently without gainful employment, I have dedicated myself full time to the task of organizing our life. I've done fairly well so far - living room and kitchen are done, and our bedroom, both bathrooms, computer room, and the family room are in various states of unpacking.
(Living room, box free!)
I took a day to do some major drywall patching and then paint in the laundry room. I love being able to put color on my walls!
(I've been saving those overalls for seven years for this very purpose! Wee!)
Okay, back to the boxes!
Hello, internets!
After a week without, our new home is finally wired to the internet, phone, and cable.
...aaaaaand there goes my drive to unpack boxes. :)
...aaaaaand there goes my drive to unpack boxes. :)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Poor, sad iPod.
It's a fantastic sunny day outside, but my poor iPod insists on being pensive.
The past few songs, in reverse order:
Fire Walk With Me - Angelo Badalamenti
Something to Believe In - Poison [...don't judge me]
You Never Know - Dave Matthews Band
In Your Eyes - Jeffrey Gaines
Return to Innocence - Enigma
Nothing Better - The Postal Service
Naughty Girl - Beyonce [this one definitely varies from the pattern]
Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
I Miss You - Blink 182
The Weight - The Band
Glory Box - Portishead
I'm revoking its shuffling privileges for the day - I needs me some upbeat-sun-shiny-day packing music!
The past few songs, in reverse order:
Fire Walk With Me - Angelo Badalamenti
Something to Believe In - Poison [...don't judge me]
You Never Know - Dave Matthews Band
In Your Eyes - Jeffrey Gaines
Return to Innocence - Enigma
Nothing Better - The Postal Service
Naughty Girl - Beyonce [this one definitely varies from the pattern]
Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
I Miss You - Blink 182
The Weight - The Band
Glory Box - Portishead
I'm revoking its shuffling privileges for the day - I needs me some upbeat-sun-shiny-day packing music!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Must have experience to get experience.
It's difficult trying to find work as a new graduate nurse. Granted, I've only been looking for 2.5 business days, but still. Most places want experienced nurses, but I can't become an experienced nurse without a nursing job. And round and round the cycle goes...
Honestly, I understand the hesitancy in hiring new graduates. A new employee for any company is a huge investment, and a new nurse even more so - it takes a loooooong time to orient a brand new nurse. After four difficult years in a highly respected baccalaureate program, the typical graduate nurse is perfectly prepared - to learn how to be a nurse. We have a great base of knowledge, but there is still much to learn. It makes sense that facilities will have to integrate new nurses in over time, and I'm sure I'll find work fairly soon.
It's strange being without a daily occupation. I've been both an employee and a full time student for the past four and a half years, and now suddenly my world is devoid of any real obligation, save for making student loan payments and exchanging carbon dioxide for oxygen. It's sort of surreal.
"Enjoy it," people keep telling me. Yeah - it was enjoyable for about four days. After that I started getting this nagging "do something" feeling, though the nagging didn't translate into any real accomplishment. I should be working out at the gym, studying for the NCLEX, and packing all of my worldly belongings, but instead I just watch mass quantities of HGTV and dream of buying furniture.
Clearly, I'm in some sort of post-degree freefall.
Honestly, I understand the hesitancy in hiring new graduates. A new employee for any company is a huge investment, and a new nurse even more so - it takes a loooooong time to orient a brand new nurse. After four difficult years in a highly respected baccalaureate program, the typical graduate nurse is perfectly prepared - to learn how to be a nurse. We have a great base of knowledge, but there is still much to learn. It makes sense that facilities will have to integrate new nurses in over time, and I'm sure I'll find work fairly soon.
It's strange being without a daily occupation. I've been both an employee and a full time student for the past four and a half years, and now suddenly my world is devoid of any real obligation, save for making student loan payments and exchanging carbon dioxide for oxygen. It's sort of surreal.
"Enjoy it," people keep telling me. Yeah - it was enjoyable for about four days. After that I started getting this nagging "do something" feeling, though the nagging didn't translate into any real accomplishment. I should be working out at the gym, studying for the NCLEX, and packing all of my worldly belongings, but instead I just watch mass quantities of HGTV and dream of buying furniture.
Clearly, I'm in some sort of post-degree freefall.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Online job search - now with faster rejection.
I don't like this era of internet-aided job applications. Job hunting has never been high on my list of things I enjoy, but I definitely liked the old way better. Get all dressed up, have resumés and cover letters printed on fancy paper, then go use your people skills to secure an interview. Now you roll out of bed, step into your fluffy house slippers, grab a Clif bar and a cup of coffee, and sit down to the computer. You fill out an extensive application online, then copy the text of your carefully formatted resumé and paste it into a text only window. I feel like I represent myself fairly well in print, but I miss the humanness of the old way.
As a new graduate nurse, I am on the hunt for a nursing position (the snag in this plan will be elaborated on in my next post). I like the idea of starting in a hospital, and being in Missoula this gives me two options for employment. I spent Friday morning rewriting my resumé (to reflect the fact that I now want to be a nurse as opposed to a receptionist, the only thing for which my old resumé clearly qualified me). I then signed up for Jobline accounts with each of the local hospitals and proceeded to fill out an online application for each facility. This morning, while reviewing the positions available at one of them, I came across a position in the cardiac cath lab. It said experience preferred, but it also said that it was a training bid, which my brain translated into "maybe they'll take a new grad." I logged in and applied my application to that position this morning at about 10:30. I got home from running errands about 2:45, and already waiting for me was an emailed response, letting me know that I don't have the experience they are looking for, but thanks anyway.
Applied at brunch, shot down before teatime.
Thanks, internets.
As a new graduate nurse, I am on the hunt for a nursing position (the snag in this plan will be elaborated on in my next post). I like the idea of starting in a hospital, and being in Missoula this gives me two options for employment. I spent Friday morning rewriting my resumé (to reflect the fact that I now want to be a nurse as opposed to a receptionist, the only thing for which my old resumé clearly qualified me). I then signed up for Jobline accounts with each of the local hospitals and proceeded to fill out an online application for each facility. This morning, while reviewing the positions available at one of them, I came across a position in the cardiac cath lab. It said experience preferred, but it also said that it was a training bid, which my brain translated into "maybe they'll take a new grad." I logged in and applied my application to that position this morning at about 10:30. I got home from running errands about 2:45, and already waiting for me was an emailed response, letting me know that I don't have the experience they are looking for, but thanks anyway.
Applied at brunch, shot down before teatime.
Thanks, internets.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
Okay, so we close on our new house next Friday, which means that we don't technically own it yet. (Just a minor detail...) I've been driving by every so often (okay, fairly often), trying to get a feel for it during different times of day, observe the neighborhood, check out the nearby traffic, that sort of thing. The other day as I was driving by, I noticed that the snow had melted enough for me to easily access the backyard. I wanted measure the height of the retaining wall in the back (the one major fixer-upper feature of the property). The house is empty, so I decided it would be okay to slip into the back yard to measure and take a few pictures. As I was leaving, who should drive by but... the owner. He slowed down, an incredulous look on his face, undoubtedly wondering who the hell was in the backyard of his empty house.
So embarrassing.
I waved as soon as I saw him, trying to pretend that I wasn't totally trespassing. He stopped and got out of the car to chat (thank god we've met before, so he knows that I'm the woman about to give him a large sum of money for the place, and am not just a crazy house stalker). Turns out he was coming to try and clear the obstacle course of ice and snow obscuring the driveway. He actually didn't seem all that surprised to see me, and he offered to let me in to the house. He's a realtor, so maybe this is normal first time homebuyer behavior. Either way, I felt like a total creeper.
I politely declined the offer to go inside and made a quick getaway, feeling a bit like a peeping Tom caught red-handed.
Hopefully he won't notice the faceprints on the windows.
So embarrassing.
I waved as soon as I saw him, trying to pretend that I wasn't totally trespassing. He stopped and got out of the car to chat (thank god we've met before, so he knows that I'm the woman about to give him a large sum of money for the place, and am not just a crazy house stalker). Turns out he was coming to try and clear the obstacle course of ice and snow obscuring the driveway. He actually didn't seem all that surprised to see me, and he offered to let me in to the house. He's a realtor, so maybe this is normal first time homebuyer behavior. Either way, I felt like a total creeper.
I politely declined the offer to go inside and made a quick getaway, feeling a bit like a peeping Tom caught red-handed.
Hopefully he won't notice the faceprints on the windows.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Review and resolve anew.
I didn't publicly post resolutions last year, but I had them. (My 2007 resolutions included some of the same things I focused on in 2008...) The coming of a new year has always given me a fresh, hopeful feeling - the sense good things can be even better, and that less good things can be remedied. I find January an opportunity to reflect inward and think about who I am and where I want my life to go - and although I try to do this year round, the beginning of a new year just seems a particularly good time to start fresh.
Listening, reflecting, patience, understanding. These are my hopes for 2009.
Listening, reflecting, patience, understanding. These are my hopes for 2009.
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