Phew!

Holidays are exhausting.

Happy Day After Christmas!


It's been lovely spending time with my family. It's also wonderful seeing and catching up with old friends. In Girl Scouts, we used to sing a song that went, "Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other gold." It's so true. I have many wonderful friends in Missoula (hi, guys!), but I feel fortunate to also be able to come back and spend time with old friends. I'm grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life.

Tomorrow I'm going to lunch and then shopping with Erica and Regina. Hooray for girly time with two of my favorite women in the whole world!

A: Topeka

Q: What Kansas town has a name derived from a Native American language, and translates as a "good place to dig potatoes?"

Tomorrow I return to Topeka - not to dig potatoes, although I am returning to my midwestern roots. (har har. Sorry, I couldn't resist that one. Forgive me?)

__________________________________________

It will be great to see my family and old friends.

It will be a gauntlet for my liver to endure. I think I drink more alcohol in the brief period I'm back in Kansas than I do the entire rest of the year at home.

It will be warm enough to run outdoors!

I will finally meet several new additions to old friends' families - everyone is having babies lately!

I will snuggle with a giant black dog and a tiny fat chihuahua.

I will post photos and updates soon!

Schmapp.

Schmapp is a neat little online travel guide. My photo of The Seattle Symphony at Benaroya Hall is a part of the Seattle Schmapp.

Fun!

Finals.

This semester is officially in the books. I got an A in nursing research, an A- in obstetrics/women's health nursing, and a B+ in pediatric nursing. Not too bad...

I gotta say, I hate the plus/minus system. Mostly I don't like it because it shows me for the slacker I am. I've always worked just hard enough to stay above the 90% mark, but with this system 90-93% is an A-. (The B+ rankles a bit too - I had an 89% in that class - just one measly percent away from an A!)

This time next year I'll be graduating. I'm glad to finally see a light at the end of the school tunnel, but I will miss being a student. For all my griping about papers and tests, I really do love learning. I picked a good career, because with as fast as new techniques and technologies become available in healthcare, it is a commitment to lifelong learning.

February 2008

I'm ready for season four.

Best news EVER!

So, my best friend's husband recently started working as a travel nurse. His first contract (which was in Minneapolis) is nearly over, so they started looking at other locations hiring through the agency he is contracted with. In the past Erica had mentioned that there were openings in Spokane and Coeur d'Alene, both of which are within easy driving distance of Missoula. The thought of them being nearby was exciting, but I tried not to get my hopes up too much, in case they wound up taking a position elsewhere.

The other night on the phone, I asked if they had found a new placement yet. She said that they had, and that David had interviewed and been offered a position... in Missoula! Ohmigod, OHMIGOD - what are the chances? So exciting! He begins the first week in January, and they'll be here through the first week in April.

Two of my favorite people in the whole world, living in our little mountain town. YAY!

I'm also interested to hear David's perspective on our little hospital. His work experience is in much bigger facilities, so it'll be interesting to hear his thoughts about our more rural setting.

Yay!

Bad grammar makes me crazy.

There's a line in the Fergie song "Big girls don't cry" that drives me nuts:

"And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"

It lacks pronoun-antecedent agreement;
"a child" is singular, "their" is plural.

Either a child misses her (or his) blanket, or children miss their blankets.

Often people will go the route of singular noun and plural pronoun to avoid the gender issue, but it's still wrong. Traditionally, "he" or "him" have been inserted, because our language has no gender neutral singular third person pronoun. However, there is an argument that using "he" as the standard singular pronoun creates a sexist language. The use of "he" doesn't particularly bother me, but I usually use "she" instead, just for grins. Has a nice ring to it...

_______________________________

(I made an effort to correctly name the parts of speech I was referring to, but I may have some of the terminology wrong. I can usually pick out grammatical or syntactical errors, but I don't usually know the proper name for them. Learning more about the English language is on my to-do list - I find it fascinating.

(Un)health update.

I'm on day seven of the cold that just won't quit. Each day is worse than the one before. Every morning I wake up with a new symptom - it's like Christmas morning, except no fun at all, and instead of presents I've gotten earaches and a fever, and a loud hacking cough.

Ick.

I went to the eyedoctor today. He told me that my myopia (nearsightedness) has gotten worse, as has my astigmatism. He said that my nearsightedness is a fairly normal level, but that my astigmatism is about three times worse than what he usually sees. Great. I also asked him to look at this little bump on my inner eyelid that has been there for a couple of years. He called it a conjunctival concretion, which is a deposit of calcium on the inner part of the eyelid. Apparently I have six or seven little ones, and the one I noticed has actually become a cyst. In my eye. He recommended I make another appointment with him, at which he would numb my eye and then STICK A NEEDLE IN AND REMOVE THEM. Um, no. No needles near eyes. NO. I can't even let him touch that little clear thing on my eye to test for glaucoma without blinking him away repeatedly - although I still prefer that to the "puff of air" - I really can't handle that. What can I say? I don't like things touching my eyes (hence the glasses for the past twenty years, instead of contacts).

Am I falling apart at the seams? Hope not.

On the bright side, I don't have class tomorrow morning, so I can finally sleep in. I'm hoping that this will help me gain some footing against this beast of a cold. I'm tired of taking cold medicines - I miss my brain.

Here's to a healthier tomorrow! Cheers!

______________________________________

Vocabulary lesson: Here are the other common vision problems, along with their "proper" medical term.

myopia (my-oh-pee-uh) - nearsighted. Can see objects close up clearly, but far away objects are blurred.
hyperopia (hyper-oh-pee-uh) - farsighted. Can see far away objects clearly, but close objects are blurred.
presbyopia (press-bee-oh-pee-uh) - farsighted, due to the normal process of aging. The lens of the eye becomes less elastic with age, and it is more difficult to focus the light properly for viewing objects close up.

PMS saves the day?

If my cycle can help cure disease, then it'll all be worth it.

(Just when you thought you'd heard it all...)

Cool.

However, it's not clear if this is because I write particularly well, or if it's because you need to have some sort of degree in order to understand my particular brand of crazy...

(*edit: Now that I think about it, it's probably just because I'm excessively wordy. Ah, well...)

Blog crush.

I came home from a stressful meeting this evening and began mindlessly wandering about the internet to unwind. After catching up on my usual reads, I started poking through the links list on Jesse's page, at which point I stumbled onto "Bores and Whores".

Good writing. Funny.
I think I'm in love with her blog.

My blog is hiding under the kitchen table in shame, her tail tucked between her legs.

Go, visit Stefi's stuff. It's good.

Contented sigh...

This holiday weekend was lovely. We slept in, lounged around, cleaned the apartment. It was a much needed break.

On Wednesday I joined a gym, and I have made good use of it thus far. I was a member of the campus recreation center last year, but it's on the other side of town, and I'm only actually on campus two or three days a week. I decided that finding a workout facility closer to my home would be more time efficient. In the past I have always used the elliptical machines for cardio - I've always had a little apprehension when it comes to treadmills. But this week I plucked up the courage and got on one, and it turns out they're wonderful! Half an hour on the treadmill goes faster than fifteen minutes on one of those awkward ellipticals. I always prefer running outside to working out in a gym, but it's been icy and cold (highs in the teens for a few days there), so I needed somewhere I could get some exercise and not freeze my arse off. This is a great solution.

Tonight I had a couple of girlfriends over for pasta and a period film (and red wine and dark chocolate, naturally...). We rented As You Like It, a beautiful adaptation of a Shakespeare play. It was a perfect end to a relaxing weekend.

Tomorrow I dive in to what looks to be a fairly easy end to the semester. I turned most of my bigger projects in before Thanksgiving, so now I've just got to get started studying for finals. Hooray - a light at the end of the tunnel!

Giving thanks.

We had a very lovely Thanksgiving. As has become tradition, Luis made his icebox cake, and I made my grandmother's green bean casserole (with even more fat and calories than regular green bean casserole - but it's amazing!) We met with good friends for a potluck dinner, and had a wonderful time.

Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful as well. 0

This post has been edited to correct several turkey induced typos...

Stress eat much?

The label on this bag of semisweet chocolate chips says that it serves twenty-four.

My ass.

Just...a little...farther...

Hurry up, Monday.

Who would have thought that a Monday would offer a ray of sunshine in my otherwise frantic existence? On Monday I will turn in three assignments, have a days' worth of classes and several meetings - and then I will come home and begin a beautiful stretch of days off.

I gave a presentation yesterday, and turned in an ten page case study to accompany it. The presentation was nothing to write home about - and it's mostly because I put off finishing it until the night before. I ended up working on the danged thing until 4:30 in the morning, and then I rolled back out of bed at 7:30 for class.

I am too effing old for this.

This morning I woke up feeling icky and dizzy - almost like a hangover. Seriously, who gets a hangover from homework? It took me almost two hours to shake the feeling, and it was a terrible waste of a half-day off. By the time I felt better, I had to go do a developmental assessment on my friend's five-year-old son for my pediatric class and then come straight to work.

It's strange - no amount of disappointment or self loathing has had any effect on my terrible procrastination habit. I have gotten marginally better, but it still seems that no matter when I start a project, I still find myself working on it clear up to the deadline. When I hand in mediocre work, I'm embarrassed and frustrated with myself. And yet - I continue the bad habit. The strangest part is that once involved in the actual writing of a paper, I enjoy it. Go figure.

So with that, I'm off to do homework. Here's to not being up all night on Sunday...

Open letter

Dear Oil companies,

Please lower your prices.


Thanks,
Mandi, poor college student flying home for Christmas

On weddings.

I bought a wedding gown yesterday. I don't have a caterer, an officiant, a photographer, linens, invitations or musicians; but I've got a dress. And twelve vases with which to make centerpieces.

Perhaps some women have a better knack for this than I do.

I have to admit, though - it's kinda fun. :)

I'm really happy with the gown I chose - it's lovely, without being too "much." (There are some seriously over the top dresses out there.) I got a kick out of trying them on, but the giant poufs really didn't feel like me.
With each gown I put on, the bridal consultant would ask me, "Can you see yourself getting married in this dress?" Each time I thought, "sure, why not?" I used to mentally pick out wedding colors or bridesmaid gowns (after having been a bridesmaid four times, I'm good at that part), but I guess I never thought much about what I'd wear. I've given more thought to being married than getting married, which is probably a good thing. Either way, I've got a dress now, so hopefully there will be no nightmares about being starkers on stage on my wedding day.

The bridal consultant talked me into trying on a veil, and when she tucked it into my hair I was thrown into one of those intensely vivid memories - you know, the kind where you feel exactly like you did way back when. As a little girl, I used to tuck a long curtain sheer into my pink plastic headband and turn it into a beautiful veil. Standing there in the boutique, I could smell that dusty old curtain. I could see my lavender toy chest and my fat black and white cat sprawled in the windowsill above it. I don't plan to wear a veil on my wedding day, but I'm glad I had that moment. I've been going into bridal shops and doing the wedding thing, and often I felt a little out of place. I'm twenty-eight years old, and admittedly, perhaps just a smidge cynical.
But at that moment, standing there in a silly veil, I was a hopeful little girl.

And I'm getting married in nine months.

Weather report:

It's snowing.

Hard.

Where does the time go?

Thanksgiving break begins on Wednesday, November 21st. When we return to school the following Monday, there will be only two weeks of classes left before finals.

The happy news is that all of my major projects for the semester will be finished by Thanksgiving, leaving me plenty of time to study for finals.

The sad news is that I have to finish all of my major projects by Thanksgiving. I have four big assignments that are all coming due at the same time.

Phooey.

I shall now return to my regularly scheduled studying.

Cookies and flu shots and a chance encounter.

Today was a busy, wonderful day.

This morning I lugged twenty pounds of fruit bread and cookies to the university center on campus, where the Montana Student Nurses Association held a bake sale. My fellow students turned up with impressive amounts of wonderful baked goods, and all of the items looked delicious. We sold nearly everything, made some money for our organization, and had a great time talking with people.

I spent the afternoon administering flu shots for the student health center. I've done some injections at the hospital, but doing it over and over again in a short time was a great way to fine tune my technique and improve my dexterity. I don't like causing people discomfort, but I do like knowing that I'm helping them to protect their health. (And several people said I give a pretty good shot, so that's always nice to hear.)

Also, this morning I bumped into Patia, blogger extraordinaire. Lovely in print, even lovelier in person. :) It's odd to "meet" someone you already feel as though you know... I enjoy her writing immensely - if you haven't yet, you should check out her blog.

It is now way past my intended bedtime of "early." Goodnight!

Bake, knit, purl...

I've baked four loaves of apple-orange-nut bread, and I've got two loaves of banana nut in the oven. While they're baking, I sit in my freshly cleaned living room with the classical music channel playing, and I knit.

It's lovely.

There is more school craziness in coming weeks, but for the moment I am enjoying the peace.

Sigh.

Finishing the Missoula Half Marathon

Mandi Finishing the Missoula Half Marathon
Originally uploaded by emillan

I saw this photo in Emilio's photostream today, and it brought back some fond memories.

I ran a half marathon.
Awesome.

Back to homework...

Things found in my laundry money bowl...

We don't have washer/dryer hookups in our apartment, so we are still laundering in the world of coin-op. On our entry way table is a little clay bowl whose sole purpose is to collect quarters for laundry, but over time it has collected a myriad of other small items as well:

• two spare keys to my car, and one to Luis's
• €10 bill. Also €2.32 in change
• three identification badges bearing my name and photo: one for a hospice agency where I used to volunteer, one for my work, one for the hospital where I have clinicals
• two red plastic tokens, each good for a free taco at Taco Johns
• three rubber bands
• rusted fork divot repair tool
• several keys of unknown origin
• small green bouncy ball
• two zinc lozenges
• Red Cross blood donor pin
• poker chip from a casino in Vancouver, BC
• tiny safety pin
• cheap ring from when Sammy and I got married at the Foresters' Ball
• swipe cards to various grocers and video rental stores - the little ones that are hole punched, because these merchants are under the impression that I desire half a dozen tiny barcoded plastic bits on my key ring
• valve stem from a river tube

...and finally, down at the very bottom, $8.25 in quarters. Time to do some laundry.

randomandi.

Tonight there are lots of Halloween parties. Sadly, I'm not going to any. I didn't realize until today that this weekend would be the weekend for going out in costume, because I've been super busy lately and I just completely spaced it. It's a bummer, because I love Halloween... I suppose I still could have gone out, but after working eleven hours today the thought of putting on anything besides my jammies was just too much.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly indulgent, I'll sprinkle my pasta liberally with parmesan cheese, eat the cheesy top layer of noodles, coat the next level with more cheese, and eat that too. I continue the process clear down to the bottom of my bowl. Mmm.

I have two tests next week. Ick.

The Jane Austen Book Club. Becoming Jane. They think they've got us all figured out... and yeah, they probably do. Although personally, I'm inclined to wait for video, as neither has gotten great reviews. I'm rereading Sense and Sensibility right now, and once we get a break from school, I think we're going to do a girls' night and watch all six hours of Pride and Prejudice. Sigh.

Go Sox!

I cannot believe that this is the last week of October. I'm still confused about where September went, and now it's practically November. Holy hell.

My bangs are really long. I'd cut them myself, but then my hairdresser would yell at me. I'll have to remember to make an appointment for next week.

I don't know if I'll do a bouquet toss at my wedding. I only have a handful of unmarried girlfriends coming, and I always found the tradition highly embarrassing as a singleton.

Okay, time for more homework. If I can force another forty-five minutes of concentration out of myself tonight, tomorrow's cram session will be that much easier.

Excitement, etc.

Much of this week I've had a giddy excitement bouncing around inside my tummy. No particular reason, other than life is good.

I got to see a good friend the other night. She was in town due to very sad circumstances, but it was wonderful to see her nonetheless.

My friend Nicole offered the other day to help me with wedding stuff. She's uber creative, funky and unique - I bet she'll have some amazing ideas. I'm also glad to have more help, as most of my bridesmaids and all of my family live so far away.

Speaking of nuptial ceremonies... gentle readers, I apologize in advance for writing what I'm quite sure will be more than you ever cared to read about the planning of weddings. Thus far, I've been able to keep my mind on my studies. But now, as the semester is more than half gone and the wedding is drawing rapidly nearer, I will have to shift gears somewhat and manage both. (A difficult task, because wedding stuff is so much more fun than paper writing.) But seeing as the wedding is less than ten months away, I'd better get a move on. And, if something is on my mind, it usually finds it's way onto my blog.

Two beautiful days and a school update.

For two days the sky has been a dazzling electric blue, and the mercury rose clear into the upper sixties. The crisp, spicy scent of fallen leaves is dense in the air.

Lovely.

__________________________________________________________

Today was my last day of inpatient clinicals for the semester. Pediatrics was a good learning experience, but I'm pretty sure it isn't the specialty for me. However, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed obstetrics - specifically the postpartum unit. I really like doing patient education, and there's a lot of teaching we can do with new moms. I also liked getting to know the families. It was nice to be a part of such a happy time in patient's lives.
Next up is two weeks of outpatient OB clinicals, followed by two weeks of outpatient pediatrics. I can't believe how fast this semester is flying by!

Two weeks in a row I had both a paper and a care plan* due. It made for a lot of writing and some pretty stress-filled days. As I turned in my second paper, I felt immediately lighter and more carefree. I have one more big paper due this semester, and two presentations to give - but everything from here on out is more evenly spaced out, and with my hospital clinicals being over I'll have more time to get everything done. Perhaps now I can start planning a wedding...


*Care plans are huge write ups about the patient care we provide in the hospital. We write about the patient's medical history, the pathophysiology of their illness, list the tests and procedures they've had done, and document findings from our own assessments of the patient. We then come up with possible nursing diagnoses and interventions we can do while caring for the patient. In the hospital they're mostly a generic form included in the chart, and you only need to select which diagnoses apply to your specific patient. In school, however, they're a pretty involved project.They're a great tool for learning the material and understanding how the pieces fit together, but they're also a total pain in the butt.

Wishes.

Everyone seems stressed or gloomy lately.

I wish I could hug you all.

I wish I were a little kid again, so that a cool sunny autumn afternoon would last for ages like it did back then.

I wish I had a cat to snuggle with.

I wish my apartment was clean.

I wish I had time to clean my apartment.

I wish Montana was exactly the same, only warmer.

I wish they made band-aids for souls.

I wish I could help.

A little right-wing bashing...

I should preface this entry with a disclaimer - It's really not that I dislike Republicans. Some of my favorite people vote GOP. What I dislike are hateful, corrupt, and/or agenda-pushing politicians (which, sadly, includes most of them - democrat and republican alike). That being said, here's a few public figures who really make my blood boil...

Sam Brownback. Today he announced his withdrawal from the 2008 presidential race. Good. Last I checked, we had constitutional separation of church and state. Somebody should fill Sam in, because I think he missed the memo...

Ann Coulter is the spawn of Satan. She is vile and hateful. She's on record with vicious comments about Jews, gays, women, and Muslims, among others. And personally, I'm all for a woman's right to vote.

Bill OReilly. He's full of himself. And hot air. And something that a lady like myself would never mention on her blog, but that rhymes with twit...

Dubya. Only 458 more days.

These people all use fear as a tactic to exert control over people, and that's a terrible thing.

That's all I have to say about that.

Old man winter.

The wind tonight smells like snow.

It won't be long now...

Good news abounds...

Last week in class I noticed a crowd of girls gathered around Melissa, one of our classmates. When I saw the glimmer of something shiny on her left hand, and I made a beeline to join the crowd and hear the news. "Me too!" she giggled as I gave her a giant hug... She and her fiance are avid outdoorsfolk, and he proposed to her on a camping trip in the mountains. Her ring is a beautiful sapphire, and her fiance got it from a company called greenKarat. They're a very green, organic couple, and I love that he found a jeweler to match their values.

Today in class we found out that Dan and his wife are expecting their first baby. The news earned a loud round of whistles and applause from the room. Following that good news with more good news, Adam mentioned that he and his wife are expecting kiddo number three around the same time. These kids will have a lot of surrogate aunts and uncles. :)

I'm in love with my classmates - all of them. They are twenty-three of the kindest and most amazing people I've ever met. We spend so much time together that it really feels like an extension of family, and during stressful times in school we have a built-in support group. They make school fun.

Real quick-like...

I finished my 5k this morning in :30:14. That made me happy. The 10k last weekend took me 1:07:34 (although I heard that they mismeasured the course, and it was a little longer than 6.2. I'm sticking to that story...) I've been getting down on myself lately about my race times - I've definitely lost some speed since the summer, and I wasn't fast to begin with. I have to keep reminding myself that I do it for fun, and that plenty of people never sign up for a race at all, so I should still be proud of my accomplishments.
That being said, Luis and I are going to start doing some speed work this week. I want to run my next 10k in under an hour, dammit. :)

It was lovely being off work today - I got a lot done. I ran a race, washed seven loads of laundry, did the dishes, washed my car, went to the store, and I'm just getting ready to finish up my care plan for obstetrics. I've been super busy the past few weeks, and sleep deprived to boot. Last weekend I worked all weekend, and also wrote two papers. I was up until about 3:30 on Sunday night finishing up, then I had class on Monday, and clinicals on Tuesday and Wednesday starting at 6:30 am. There just hasn't been any time to catch up on sleep. However, I'm off tomorrow, and I can finally sleep in! (If you call my house before 9 am tomorrow, I will hunt you down where you live.) Of course, when I do get up, I have another paper to write. Oh, well. Can't win 'em all...

All things miscellany...

Due to the large number of projects I've taken on for this year, I figured that I might be a little more stressed than normal.
Yep.
There's this constant low-level stress humming in the background of my head almost all the time lately. I feel like I'm managing okay, and I think that I'll get everything done that needs to be done. Sadly, when I get busy, the first thing to go is my social life. The second thing to go is my skin. So basically, this fall I've become a recluse with acne.

Missoula is so beautiful in the fall - the neighborhood near campus is a riot of reds and oranges. I love the cool, crisp smell of the autumn leaves.

I'm a feminist and a cynic, so I have a tough time with some of the wedding crowd. For example, I like the idea of do-it-yourself wedding projects, but I have a hard time not poking fun at some of the women on the wedding websites. They all have screen names and graphics that say things like "257 days until I get MARRIED!!!" or "future Mrs. Peterson!" Seriously, gag me with a cake topper. I understand the excitement of getting married, and I understand being excited about having a wedding. I know that these girls are probably just giddy in love, and that I shouldn't be so judgemental. But, I hate the idea of a woman basing her sense of self worth solely on her marital status, and I sincerely hope that they realize how wonderful and important they are all by themselves, whether a Mrs. or not...

Last week was my first week of ob clinicals, and I got to watch a young woman give birth. It was the first birth I've ever been present for, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The joy in that room was so tangible it made my heart swell. It was human nature at its' best, its' most pure. It makes me excited about starting my own family someday...

I came to work this evening, and there was a huge jar of candy setting on the counter next to my computer. I, being the good girl, relocated it to the break room. However... I, also being the hormonal one, have been back to visit the break room three times since. :)

Tomorrow I'm running a 5k in the 2007 Pumpkin Run. I've never done a 5k before, and I'm hoping that I can push myself to go a little faster than my usual pace, since it's only 3.1 miles. Proceeds from the event go to the Missoula Food Bank. Should be a good time.

Just try not to smile...

Learning to cope.

This article, A Nation of Wimps, from Psychology Today, addresses a real problem with today's children and young adults. The ability to cope is a learned skill, and many of today's parents go out of their way to eliminate discomfort from the lives of their children. It might be an honorable intention, but without experiencing some of life's discomforts and downers, the child has little hope of constructing healthy coping strategies for him or herself. The end result? A young adult who has no idea how to function independently in society.


(And coming soon (as soon as I can find it again), an article attributing maladaptation in teens and young adults to cell phone use. Never alone, never uncomfortable...)

I'm a runner.

"The difference between a jogger and a runner is the entry blank."

~ Dr. George Sheehan

Tomorrow I'm running a 10k at the Blue Mountain Clinic All Women's Run. This will be my fourth road race, and my second 10k (6.2 miles). I signed up with the same long-legged friend with whom I did the Roots Run, but this time with the good sense to start farther back in the pack than her and a plan to meet up at the finish line.

It's supposed to be cloudy and 37° at race time. Here's hoping for a little sun...

Vote for Monte.

Monte is a two-time winner of the Capital One Mascot bowl - let's help him secure another title!

2007 Capital One Mascot Open

The University of Montana Symphony.

This is a television spot for the University of Montana. There are six or so new ads done in this format, but for obvious reasons, this is my favorite.

Sicky.

For about three weeks now, I've felt like I was just below the threshold of a full blown cold. I haven't felt awful, just sort of 'not good,' with little transient waves of 'really icky' thrown in for good measure. Yesterday I started feeling worse, and so today I finally caved and saw a doctor at work. (That's one of the perks of my job. Our doctors are great, and they're always kind enough to check me out if I'm not feeling well.) Dr. W suspects a sinus infection, so now I've got antibiotics. Hope they work soon. I want to feel good.

Twice this week I've gotten to hang out with two guys I adore. Jeff and Andy are a pair of brothers I met through a mutual friend, and they're witty and sarcastic and lots of fun to spend time with. New friends are fun.

I spent most of the day working on the MSNA float for the UM homecoming parade. It was a lot of fun, and I came home just in time to scrub most of the paint splatters off myself before going to work. We got great weather today for assembling the float, but I'm hoping the weather forecast will be proven wrong for tomorrow - it's supposed to be 40° and rainy during the parade. Burr.

Ick, it's late. Off to bed...

No LOST until February.

Sigh.

I don't watch much television, but I love LOST. A friend was looking over my shoulder the other day as I thumbed through last semester's dayplanner, and she cracked up at the fact that I had "scheduled" LOST alongside my assignments, clinicals, and work schedule. Yep, it's that important. I watch it for the great story and plot twists, but also for the biceps. Gorgeous, sweaty, rugged men, with great biceps.

Hot.

Once again, not sleeping.

I ran in the River City Roots four mile run today. It was my third road race, and so far my shortest - and hardest. I signed up with my friend Kate, who is tall, lean, and seriously long legged. I should have known better. I pushed to keep pace with her for about three minutes, and then we hit this monster hill. I don't do hills when I run on my own - our side of town is completely flat. It absolutely killed me. I dropped back and tried to recuperate from setting out too fast, but I had a stitch in my side for nearly the whole race. But hey, I finished. And I got a nice running t-shirt out of the deal too.

I've had a lot of sleepless nights lately. I don't know if it's the school stress getting to me, or if perhaps it's just a genetic thing. I remember my mom always getting up in the night when she was about this age. Last night I slept, but tossed and turned with dreams about caring for postpartum women in the hospital (I went to bed after doing homework for my OB class...) Whatever this is, I hope it passes - I'm exhausted.

In the past five or six years, I've tried to better who I am as a person. I'm still working on it, but I try my best to be patient, and kind, and helpful. I want to be mindful of the thoughts and feelings of others, and try to see things from the other person's place before I jump to conclusions. I get frustrated with myself when I stray from this effort. But I suppose we all have our days. If I keep at it I'll get better.

My ten year high school reunion is in a couple of weeks. Strangely, I'm not going. Most of my close friends in school were not from my graduating class, but I still would have liked to see everyone. I always planned to go, but it falls during a difficult time in the semester for me to get away, and the plane tickets were a lot more money than I'd like to pay for a two day trip. Honestly, though, the main event is a barbecue (read: kegger) at the lake. Funny how some things never change. Somehow I get the sensation that I'm not the only class of '97 graduate who isn't going to make a big effort (=spend money to fly) to get to that. Oh, well. There's always our twentieth.

Bedtime post.

Hi there. I tried to go to bed, but my mind wasn't quite ready for sleeping. Perhaps a little writing will do the trick.

We're in the middle of the third week of school. It's busy. I've had two weeks of inpatient pediatric clinicals, and they've gone well so far. Best thing about peds rotation = one day a week. Worst thing about peds rotation = twelve hour shifts. I'm seriously not a five AM kind of gal. I have a coffee pot, and on rare occasions I actually use it. Tuesday mornings at 5:00 are definitely some of those occasions.

Our first Montana Student Nurses' Association meeting was this week. We had pretty good turnout, and I think we'll have fun this year. I'm always impressed by my fellow students - our Community Health Director suggested some events and things we could do to volunteer our time, and sent around a sign up sheet for anyone interested. Everyone signed up. Nursing students are insanely busy, yet they all still want to volunteer their time and energy. Amazing people.

Luis's guitar recital is this Friday at the University of Montana. If you're interested in coming, contact me for additional information. It'll be good, you should go.

I'm off work this weekend, and I'm thrilled. It's been a busy couple of weeks, and I am ready for a break. I have a few homework assignments due Sunday, but other than that I'm planning to relax. I want to get to the Farmers' Market Saturday morning - there's only a few left for the year! I'm also running in the River City Roots Festival 4 mile run on Sunday. My friend Kate was looking for someone to run the race with her, and it sounded like fun. Hopefully I'll be able to check out some of the festival too.

I have an appointment at a bridal shop to try on wedding gowns later this week. Luis's brother Emilio found what he was sure would be the perfect dress, but I think I'm going to keep looking. :) I went dress shopping once this summer, and mostly I felt awkward being laced into twenty pounds of satin, beads and poof. (I also forgot to wear my engagement ring when I went to the boutique. That might have had something to do with it.) Anyhow, I think now that we've got a date and a location, dress hunting will be more fun.
Makes me wish my mom wasn't so far away.

Okay, I think I'm sufficiently tired now. G'night...

Stupid internet stuff...

...that always makes me laugh.

OMGWTFBBQ!

Internet people!
(Funny references, mildly lame song...)

"There is such a thing as a tesseract."

Madeleine L'Engle died yesterday.

Her books were a huge part of my childhood. I spent countless hours reading and rereading A Wrinkle in Time, and the other books in the Time Quartet. She created a beautiful world, a fantastic alternate universe. I spent a lot of time in her world as a kid.

Griz Country

Yeesh.

Thank god it's a three day weekend starting tomorrow.

I didn't know it was possible to be this far behind after only four days of school. Holy hell.

The phone call.

dmb at sandstone, 2003
Originally uploaded by mandapanda191

Every summer, after the Dave Matthews Band concert in Kansas City, I get a late night phone call from my friends back home. Erica calls me from the parking lot after the show, and after everyone shouts a chorus of "hello's" she passes the phone around and I get to talk to each of them.

It's the very essence of bittersweet for me. I miss those guys a lot, and I love that they still include me in this small way. It's with an achy happiness that I listen to their animated, slightly tipsy yarn of the evening's events.

I'm glad I'm here, but it's moments like these I wish I were there.

Another year, and other updates.

Yesterday was the first day of classes this semester. I'm impressed by my professors, as they all seem organized and highly competent. The organizational factor makes a difference in the student experience for any class, but particularly so in nursing classes. We divide our time between classroom lectures, lab simulations, and in- and outpatient clinical settings, so if the teacher or course isn't very organized it becomes a scheduling nightmare.
I'm excited for my clinicals this semester. This fall we're in obstetrics and pediatrics, so there's all sorts of settings we'll get to work in - hospital for deliveries, pediatrics and NICU, pediatrician's offices, school nurse offices, hearing and eye screenings for children. We might get to do some health teaching classes with kids. It will be a nice change from med/surg.

Around the 20th of August a damp, cool weather front moved through, which cleared the smoke and helped to calm the fires a bit. Sadly, between the cooler weather and the prior weeks of gray smoky skies, we ended summer early this year. My tan lines faded even before classes began. As I'm writing this, the temperature on my desktop weather reads 44°.

This Saturday is the first Griz football game of the season. I wasn't able to go any last year (I was scheduled to work during every home game!), so I'm excited to get to a couple this season. I may be an MSU student, but I'm still a Griz fan. :)

Fire!

This morning when I went out to my car, it was covered with a dusting of ash and bits of blackened debris. The sun today is a dark orange sphere, feebly shining through the thick gray atmosphere. Fire season is in full swing once again...
We have two major fires burning within twenty or so minutes of Missoula, and apparently the entire state of Idaho is on fire. Below is a satellite photo of the Idaho and Western Montana fires, from earthobservatory.nasa.gov.

(Here is a link to the original photo.)

As you can see, the smoke from Idaho is blowing directly over our area. With the inversion factor that happens in our little valley, the smoke gets trapped in and just stays. Ick.

Everybody seems a bit cross these days, and who can blame them? It’s hard to keep cheery when there’s no sunshine. For me, it doesn’t help that I haven’t been able to go running - I worry about breathing the dirty air for very long.

Here's hoping for some rain.



If you're interested, here are some Montana fire-related links:
Montana air quality (as of 1:00 today, ours was considered 'unhealthy'.)
Inciweb fire tracker for Montana

Bigfoot Ironman, Harrison Mills, British Columbia.

Luis completed his first Ironman in 11:20:02.

His time for the half Ironman last summer was 6:09. (You do the math... that's incredible.)

He's a rock star.

He's also my hero.

My very own Ironman.

Six years ago, back when Luis and I were first dating, he mentioned that he was interested in doing a triathlon. The idea was completely foreign to me, but I figured that if he was interested he should go for it. There were two small obstacles in the beginning; he didn’t own a bike, and he couldn’t swim. (That is to say, he couldn’t competitively swim. He could get from one side of the pool to the other, but not in any way conducive to racing.) He remedied these little barriers quickly; he bought himself a shiny red road bicycle, and I, as a former (albeit mediocre) member of my high school swim team, helped him with the swimming basics. He was on his way.
Later that year I remember us watching the Ironman Hawaii on television at his apartment one evening. I gawked at the impossible distances these people were covering, thinking how crazy they must be. I mentioned this to Luis, and he just nodded vaguely, captivated by the contenders on the screen.

The next spring I went with him to his first race, somewhere in Missouri. It was a small race - maybe thirty or so participants, and it was a shorter sprint distance triathlon. We arrived early in the morning, and I watched as he and the other competitors set up their transition spots and prepped all of their equipment. I could feel the excitement in the air, but I didn’t really get it. Aside from the racers, there were only a small number of people there – no cheering crowds, no fancy photographers, no trophies. I didn’t understand the appeal at all.
The race got off to a good start. I watched as Luis finished the swim and set out on his bike, cheering him on and taking his picture as we went by. When the other cyclists began to return to the transition area, I started looking out for Luis on his bike. He didn’t show up for some time, and I started wondering if something had happened. A bit later the rescue vehicle came back with a bike and cyclist in tow – unfortunately, Luis’s tire had blown, and his spare tube also had a small hole. After realizing he couldn’t fix it out on the course, he had no choice but to accept a ride back to the race start. Undeterred by the fact that he could no longer ‘officially’ finish, he swapped out his cycling shoes for running shoes and set back out to run. From right then, it was clear how driven he was to continue in this sport.

Fast forward five years. Since that rocky but determined starting race, he’s competed in probably fifteen triathlons, finishing all of them. His name has moved steadily higher in the list of finishing times. He has done longer and longer races. It’s progressed from ‘can I?’ to ‘how far can I go?’ Last year, he competed in his first Half Ironman, or Ironman 70.3. He approached the finish line, not weak or delirious as I had half-worried, but smiling and in great spirits.

This afternoon Luis and I will pack up the car and head to Harrison Mills, British Columbia, where Luis will compete in his first Ironman triathlon. He’s excited and nervous, but he has prepared himself well for what is sure to be a grueling test of endurance. Hundreds of hours he’s spent, running, biking, and swimming his way to this goal. He trained through the freezing winter and into the blistering summer heat. He trains when he wants to, and when he doesn't want to. He is more dedicated than anyone I have ever met. I have confidence that he will finish the race strong.

After having run a couple of road races myself, I finally understand the race day excitement. It’s not about medals or glory, and for most of us, it’s not even about winning. It’s about challenging yourself. It’s about doing things you didn’t know you could. It’s about being with others who share a passion for something you love, for something you do. It’s amazing.

They say that 5% of the population is capable of a half marathon (13.1 miles of running). One tenth of one percent of the population will finish a marathon (26.2 miles). What percentage do you suppose is capable of finishing the 140.6 total miles of an Ironman? 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bicycle, 26.2 mile run.

I’m ridiculously proud of what he’s doing.

Easily confused.

I recently found out that a friend of mine from class also has a blog here at blogger. This afternoon I popped over to check it out and was momentarily confused - it turns out we both use the same blogger template, so they look very similar! I've grown accustomed to sage green trebuchet text on a dark green background being my words, my voice, so reading someone else's thoughts in the same setting threw me for a second. However, I recovered and had a lovely time looking through her photos and musings. Hi, Bearfeet! Happy blogging!

Housekeeping.

Several things:

First off, I changed my profile description, but I couldn't bring myself to delete the old one entirely. So, I thought I'd post it here for grins. It's still all true - well, except the age. (Oh, and the grey sweaters. I've given several of them to Goodwill.)

"I'm 27 years old. I've been a college student for the majority of my adult life. I'm crazy about the color green, flossing my teeth, shoes, and guys who wear eyeliner. I'll read anything with words on it, and in the absence of books or magazines I've been known to resort to reading the labels on advil bottles or canned soup. Diet Pepsi is my drug of choice. I own six gray sweaters. I'm relatively intelligent and ever so slightly neurotic. In my former life I was a music major, now I'm working on a degree in nursing. I love my mom. I like all of the veggies that no one else will touch, like beets and lima beans, but I won't eat salad. My feet are always cold. I've always wished I were British. I watch the same movies over and over. I take pictures obsessively. I'd like to stop procrastinating, but I haven't yet.
Now you know."

Second: I wrote a post months ago, pleading for readers to rename my blog. I never posted a follow up to that entry, so here it is. The name of this blog, forevermore or until I decide to change it, will be Hi, my name is Mandi. I was delighted by the number of great suggestions I got, and I was surprised by the number of responses saying that they liked the name I was already using. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions, and it looks like majority (and perhaps laziness) rules on this one.

Summer is a bowl of Flathead cherries.

It’s a quiet day at the office today. I’m sitting with the wastebasket pulled up next to my chair, so I have someplace to deposit pits as I eat my way steadily through a bowl full of ripe Flathead cherries. Cherries are one of the many lovely things about summer. (Of course, for me, various fruits comprise at least half of my list of ‘favorite summer things’… but that’s another post.) I adore the summers in Western Montana, but they are much shorter than I’m used to. In the Midwest, summer is still in full force through the month of August, and often the summer heat hangs in the air into September. Here in Montana, however, August seems to signal the beginning of the end of summer. The night temperatures begin faithfully dipping back down to the 50’s, sunset quickly recedes back into early evening, and even the sunshine feels weaker, as though resigned to allow cooler weather to take back over.
As summer slips away, I always feel tugging sense of loss. Another season of cold to endure before we return to backyard barbecues, camping, and tubing on the river. Fortunately, my cheer returns with the first breath of autumn in the air. Fall is my favorite season, hands down. I love the smells, and the baking, and new jeans and sweaters, and the football games, and the coziness.
Looking back through old entries, I’ve noticed that shifting of the seasons is a recurring topic in my writing. I’m captivated by the subtle changes that move us from season to season. Perhaps it’s my distant Native American heritage peeking through, but I feel drawn to the earth as it renews itself. There’s something awe inspiring about the first shoots of green pushing through the cold hard ground, or the first leaf crisping and falling from its branch. Change is inevitable, change is necessary. Change is beautiful.

I look forward to one more bowl of cherries before fall.

Mileage.

Awww... look - I got a certificate!

(Actually, when I logged in today, I'd run twenty-two runs, with a 110.5 miles total. Since June 8th. Awesome.)

Again with the no posting...

Sorry... If anyone is still reading this, I promise I still love you. It's been a busy summer... Luis's brother and sister-in-law were here to visit a couple of weeks ago, and when they left my brother came to stay. As our computer room is also our guest room, I haven't had all that much time or access for blogging. I intend to resume communication once things have settled down a bit, but for now I'm going to enjoy the company.

Today Luis, Ricky and I, along with a couple of friends, hit the Blackfoot river for some floating. It was great fun, and I think Ricky enjoyed his first experience with rivers you can actually swim in. The rivers in Kansas and Missouri are mucky brown and gross, I'm pretty sure you couldn't pay me enough to get in them. I love the water around here - crisp and clear, and freezing cold to boot. Montana rocks.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I finished reading it about an hour ago.

Sigh...

13.1 miles.

13.1 miles, originally uploaded by mandapanda191.

2:20:50.

Not bad for my first half marathon.

Shag carpeting and harvest gold goodness.

So after a day packed with apartment hunting, we have discovered that the nicest apartment in town appears to be ours. Allow me to elaborate on our current situation a little...

Last year our apartment complex came, very abruptly, under new management. The new manager raised our rent significantly, and was generally unpleasant to do business with. In the past this complex always had a warm, community feel, and with the change in management it was clear that they thought of us as paying customers, and little else. Luis and I were frustrated, but we figured it would blow over. Nope. After a year of periodically getting really mad at the whole situation, we decided that instead of signing another years' lease, we'd just move. We figured that we could be spending less money, as we both think it's ridiculous to pay a whole lot to rent someplace, so we figured we'd have a look and see what else is available in the Missoula market.

It turns out that the Missoula market stopped generating apartments about four decades ago. Everything cheaper than where we currently live comes equipped with heinous brown shag carpeting and harvest gold or avocado green kitchen appliances. Never in my life have I seen so much fake wood paneling in a single day. Sure, there are nicer places in town, but they run about the same rates as where we currently live, and most of them are new developments where every unit has that same cookie-cutter apartment layout. My least favorite aspect of apartment dwelling is the sameness of everything, and for the same money I'd rather not move into something I like less than our current place.

Our current apartment, aside from the less than ideal management situation, is the perfect apartment. We have an upper level apartment with high vaulted ceilings and heavy, dark wood rafters, a fireplace, large closets, a big covered balcony, and private entry. The complex grounds are beautiful, with a nice pool and a pond, and a family of ducks who have taken up residence here. We've been here four years, and it really does feel like home. At least by looking for something new, Luis and I can feel like we fought back a little bit. And it looks like we're staying put.

I know...

...posting is long overdue.
Unfortunately, I haven't had much time for writing lately.

Here's the scoop, until I can sit down and do some proper blogging:

Luis is back home. (Yay!)
We're apartment hunting. (Boo!)
We're going to have house guests for the next three weeks - his brother and sister-in-law, followed by my brother. (Yay!)
The apartment is clean. (Yay!)
Missoula has been seeing all-time record high temperatures - we hit 107 the other day. (Boo!)
We floated the Blackfoot river on the 4th. (Yay!)
We had our friends Steve and Stephanie over tonight for dinner and games. (Yay!) They will be moving to Virginia in two weeks. (Boo...)

Okay. I'm going to give the sleeping thing another go. I promise to post before another week lapses...

Ten miles!

Yesterday I ran ten miles. That's the farthest I've ever run - I'm pretty pleased with myself. :)

I've added the handy nikeplus run log onto my sidebar. I used it once before in a post, but I didn't realize that it was a fancy one that will update with my new information all by itself. Kind of a cool little gadget, even though it clashes pretty badly with my page. So now, if you feel so inclined, you can track my running progress.

Happy Birthday Mom!

My mom rocks.

When she's not busy going around the sun, she enjoys taking photos, gardening, and being with her family (both the two and four legged members). She's kind, and honest, and thoughtful. She's quick to laugh and slow to judge.

Now that I'm big and she's little...

Love you, Mom!

Dramatic chipmunk.

(Click to play.) (Need sound on.)

Running.

I have unwittingly become a member of the Jeff Galloway running cult. (I rhapsodize about him the same way my newly-world-traveling aunt does about Rick Steves, her travel guide book guru.) I recently read Galloway’s Marathon book, and I dig a lot of his strategies. I’ve always broken up my run with short walk breaks, and here’s a fitness expert who not only approves of this, but actually recommends it. It makes a lot of sense that if you give a short break to the running muscles periodically, they will work better, last longer, and recover faster. I walk for about a minute out of every ten, and I’m able to keep pace and even speed up at the end of my longer runs. I don’t run for speed (nothing about my solid frame and short legs says "fast"), but I enjoy improving upon my own unhurried times.

Now that my runs are getting longer, I’m braving the fascinating world of sports nutrition. I’m still not a huge fan of Clif Bars or Luna Bars or any other bar packing that much protein and that little flavor, but I’m slowly getting used to them. I’ve had packets of Gu on my last couple of runs, and that is a sports fare that I can get behind. It gives me a great boost of energy, it takes care of some electrolyte replacement, it’s readily absorbed by the body as fuel, and it tastes like frosting! It’s like a reward – after an hour of running, I get to eat some chocolate!

I’m slowly increasing my runs – not by distance, but rather by time. I find it less stressful to measure in time, since an hour will always just be an hour, but five miles will vary in how long it takes me, depending on all sorts of things (temperature, humidity, hydration, lack of sleep , etc..). Yesterday I ran for 1:40, and next week my long run will be 2:00. I remember a few years back, the first time I made it to thirty minutes. I was ecstatic that I could finally run that long, and I certainly figured that was as far as I’d ever go. It’s exciting to find out that you can do something you never thought yourself capable of.

Many random bits, on account of my not posting anything for so long...

Summer in Western Montana is warm, sun-filled days, and crisp, cool evenings. Daylight lingers until nearly ten o’clock, and the west sky glows a soft green until much later. I love sleeping with my windows wide open, letting fresh breeze drift into my bedroom.

I met a guy the other day who reminded me forcibly of Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds. I love that movie.

I’m running in the Missoula half marathon in twenty-five days. I’m pretty excited, and a little bit nervous. The 10k was only slightly longer than I usually run on my own, but 13.1 miles is significantly more than I usually do. Like, more than double. I’m training for this one, trying to steadily increase my distance each week so I can manage the whole thing on race day. I have no time goals for this one, my only goal is to finish. I'm using my handy nike+ ipod sport kit to track my mileage and progress. Here is the record of my last five runs - you can scroll through them by using the gray arrow on the left:



Tonight I played pool with my new friend Andy. He's cool. I love meeting new people.

I bought a bellydancing instructional video last fall, and although it was a lot of fun, I only did it a few times before leaving it to collect dust with the rest of my extensive workout video collection. Yesterday on a whim I popped it in the player and did the workout, and holy cow do I hurt today! Every little muscle from my ribs to my knees is sore, especially my hamstrings... I loved it, though, and so today I went and bought a salsa video to alternate the bellydancing with. Since I can only run every other day (don't want to risk an overuse injury), and I have enough spare time in the summer to work out daily, I thought I'd cross train with something really different.

I have finished uploading my photos from Spain to my flickr account, so feel free to have a look if you like.

One of the nicest things about my recent engagement (other than getting to marry the guy of my dreams, naturally) has been calling family and old friends with the happy news. I have a sister in Kentucky, and another in Phoenix, both whom I adore but rarely get to talk to. I have girlfriends from my days at Washburn who I swore to keep in touch with, but over the years it has dwindled down to a call or two a year. It's been lovely to have a wonderful, happy reason to call these people, but I should do it more often, just because. Life is too short to put off the most important things.
I think my favorite part of getting older having a history. I love seeing old friends, laughing at old stories. Once I realized that change is not only inevitable, but good, it became a joy to reminisce in how things used to be.
Life is beautiful.

Ah, the red wine is kicking in, and the sappy has started seeping out. Perhaps I should stop now before I really embarrass myself. On that note - goodnight!

A perfect day.

Last week, after returning from Spain, Luis and I had several days in Boston before I was to fly back to Missoula. On Wednesday we, along with Luis's mom and brother, visited a small barrier island just off the northeast coast of Massachusetts. We spent the cool, sunny afternoon with our pant legs rolled up, wading into the freezing ocean and playing in the sand. As the afternoon sun began to soften, Luis and I went for a walk down the beach. When we got to the end, he asked me to marry him.

A lovely, perfect day.

Home, sweet home.

I arrived back in Missoula on Thursday. I love vacations, but it sure feels nice to sleep in my own bed again...

My blog left off several weeks ago, the day I was boarding a plane to Spain. We arrived in Madrid early on May 20th, and during our two weeks in Spain we spent time in Madrid and Cordoba, and we took day trips to Toledo and Castro del Rio. We stayed with Luis's family, who welcomed us into their homes with a genuine hospitality I have come to associate with Spanish culture. We ate tapas often, and drank beer in the middle of the afternoon. We wandered the crowded streets of Madrid and the narrow, winding streets in Cordoba and Toledo. Luis gave a two guitar performances, playing a scheduled concert at University of Carlos III in Madrid, and an impromptu recital in Cordoba for a gathering of friends and acquaintances. We hit the bars with Jonathan, and enjoyed some of Madrid's energetic night life. We visited breathtaking cathedrals and mosques, and several sites of Roman ruins. We marveled at the history preserved in the buildings and the cities. We had a wonderful time, and I hope to return someday.
I have slowly begun uploading trip photos to Flickr, so feel free to hop on over and have a look. I took a zillion, so it's taking a while to wade back through them all.