Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first."

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, THE MESSAGE

pingy

dear God I must confess
that sometimes You seem far away
sometimes i forget about
how i stand because of grace

but Lord there's been a change in me
a change i hope will stay
for this is my prayer today

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adam
alekx
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eu fei
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pk
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wei ping
wilson
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i read this on my handbook to make sure.. tho i already somehow knew..

40% of CT is counted in promos..

die already. hopefully i will survive.

well.. i was so angrieee wif my parents just now.. can see all the "choochooo.." smoke comin out of me..

i've been a RATHER good girl this month.. staying home TRYING to study.. occassionally going out to breathe some fresh air..

yet mummy so man bu jiang li.. say i cannot go out anymore.. argh!

coping me at home is as bad.. i drive myself crazy.. i even sleep till i have headaches.. lol..

well well..

just now went singapore swimming club met up wif lowel,simo and hippig.. love dem like siao la! make me happy and laugh so much.. seriously much stress was released..

and mummy had to say those things and make me stress again..

why is getting good grades so impt.. argh! even so many As wun make up for ONE C. dey'll just like pinpoint the C until i diminish. and the As are just there as a flower vase display..

oh welll.. i'm high now.. in the middle of the night. and i promise to do work..
so.. shhhh..

been thinking much.. till my brain hurts.. dead in the night, i'm awake, thinking. studying. listening to my cd player. my collection of cds.. date back to sec2.. one by one memories come flooding back.. the first burned cd i ever received was from peiz, a walk to remember soundtrack.. den i was listening to 'freaky time'.. emotions stirring up.. mr gng's favourite warm up song.. ndp 2003.. the many many times at indoor stadium.. eating kfc, pizzas.. friends.. time just have to pass.. i miss cedar so much.. i miss everybody back there..


the ndp people.

i'm going back to school tomorrow. to collect my cert, and watch my church's girls bball team play with my ex-juniors.. hais.. so much left to study. dun really feel like watchin the whole game, but i kinda promised dem.. oh wells.. dun even know what i'm gonna do now. stone till morning? but i really cant study anymore.. my brains exploding. hais..

everybody's changing and i don't feel the same.

Better Than Life [click to listen =) ]

Better than the riches of this world,
Better than the sound of my friends' voices,
Better than the biggest dreams of my heart,
and that's just the start
Better than getting what I say I need,
Better than living the life that I want to,
Better than the love that anyone could give,
your love is

Pre chorus
And you hold me now in your arms and never let me go,
You are Lord in the sunshine, the moonlight in the night sky,
You give me breath and all your love, i give my heart to you because,

Chorus
I can't stop falling in love with you,
I'll never stop falling in love with you.
I can't stop falling in love with you,
I'll never stop fallin' in love with you.

told ya i was a pig big time. =P

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 80%

Sloth: 60%

Envy: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Pride: 20%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 34%

You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs.

saturday afternoon.. one more week.. i so do not want holidays to end.. i'm gonna cry..

now my bio-clock is 1pm. no matter wad time i sleep, i wake up at 1.. den i have my lunch. lol..

i'll be so so dead when school reopens.. how am i gonna wake at 6am? mama mia.

last week to chiong.

thats all i've got, and i've to make the best out of it.

wish me luck.

i'm constantly hungry and bored i tell u. i just ate a whole plate of chao mifen, den a tiny choc, and tiny twisties and a slice of plain bread, and i dun feel full at all.. i tink i'm havin my second puberty. which is pretty much good, means i can grow tall..

but i dun want to grow fat tho.. coming to sa has made me gained 3kg.. horrendous.. =X

currently, i'm slacking and not doing work becos i'm sooo hungry.. haiyooo..

i want to go to supermarket one day and just grab anything i think i'll eat.. yay!

HUNGRY

VERY HUNGRY

EXTREMELY HUNGRY

FOOOOOOD!!

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work

For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease

All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do
That was my constant cry

No time to give to souls in need

But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came,
I stood with downcast eyes.

For in his hands, God held a book; It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said "Your name I cannot find.I once was going to write it down...But never found the time"

yes! mama allowed me to go to the 'farewell dinner'... thank God. =)

had the buffet thingy wit..
mee goreng. wld have eaten much more if i wasn't sick.
some dumpling look-a-like which i dunno wad was inside but still ate it.
some small round slice of bread wif ingredients on it. not bad.
nice chicken.
some cream of something tart. nice too.
the eclair.. yum yum..
not chaotared cheesecake. =)

not bad e food. if only i cld eat more. but if i did. i wld have came home half dead and my mum wld ground me cos she thinks i'll get sicker each time i go out.

okie..

sniff sniff.. -tissues are piling up. yeee ick!

haaa.. i am smelling SOLID food for dinner. hungry!

sick again. cant believe it.. currently, i have been sick once every month for 3 months already. april, may, june.. this is craaazzyy..

i dislike bein sick. cos all we can eat is watery mushy stuff.. like porridge. soup. oats. eee.. longing for something hard and tasty to bite on. but i know if i do. i wunt ever get well. yucks.. i'm really wasting lots of medical bills..

so.. now my most impt aim in front of studies is health. i sooo.. dislike studyin when dere's no motivation. it'll just end up to stoning with 'class'.. becos dere's a book in front of u.

gosh dere's a tough rug seniors farewell dinner tmr. and i'm afraid my mum will not allow me to go cos i'm sick. how how how! its like sorta the last time i'm gonna be wit my seniors..

oh well.. 2 more weeks left.. and i still have about 4/5 of work undone. DEAD.

yucks.. so gross to not have a happy entry. like wad is sooo wrong with life now. yeeeik. pwuahk.

yes.. updating at such a time.. ppl mite think i'm hardworkin.. wake up early. haaa.. actually. i din even sleep.

reason. i felt guilty for sleepin yesterday afternoon. 330-730. WAD A NAP. so pig la. missed out on my studyin. dammit.

BUT made no difference this morning. becos i talked on the phone from 11+ to 3+. den ate pizza..came online at roughly 4+ till now.. SO... did i study? hoho.. abit. lol. one to two pages for 8 hours? DAMMIT.

DAMMIT! ALREADY WEDNESDAY. if my second week's a goner too. i'm so gonna hang myself.

AND I'M ITCHING ALL OVER. its either some weird insect which is not mosquito.. or some contagious thing like i scratch. den i scratch somewhere else. den the somewhere else got. ahhhh.. bad..

i'm feelin sleepy. but i haven stardee!

okie dokie.. one week into the hols.. work done = 0.

touch on mon.
frenly on tues.
wed i slept.
thurs went down to ccab to support m1 touch.
friday went to skool for gp make-up.den pw. den to sentosa the meet hway.simo.hippo and trina. lol.. talk talked den ended up in the sea.. [ i did not bring extra...] lol.. however i survived.. lol.. details excluded. haha.. had fun.. taking pictures wif the siloso alphabets.. lol.. den went down to ps for a kfc dinner.. cheapo shrooms meal. lol.. save money ok.. den mrted down to somerset to go cine to take neoprint.. while we heard.. "estee!" HAHA.. secret. wad a nice mcdonald free meal we're gonna get. haha.. u better treat us ah estee. haha.. den shopped a little and went home latee... =S

sat.. SLEPT the whole fat day away.. i am serious.. was like a big fat slug on the couch. haha.. growing FAT..

sunday.. church.. lunch. home. online.. now. haha.. =) the little kids are so ADORABLE.. preety pretty.. cute cute.. PINCH PINCH.. hug hug.. lol..

haha.. okie dokie.. kinda done wit the week eh.. nx week.. ganbate! gonna smack myself real hard if i do not start on any work yo.. bye bye peeps.. haha..

no doubt.. dere's something keepin me goin..
and that's prolly the only good thing that happened ever since school started.. or even my life.

and bw. u noe i miss u all. man bang too. everybody back in cedar.

been thinkin.. much..

not too good.

found out that.. i am
not so smart
not too good at any ccas that i take.. ever since pri skool..
short
not very good wif words
quiet
slow
someone who's not confident of herself

not that i've never known all these since.. just that perhaps i thought i shld try to be better.. but.. i just dun seem to get better wif any of these no matter how i keep tryin..
i'm prolly doin things wrongly.. but how do i do it rite?
i really want to give up..
tho i know i'll still try..
i just aint feelin too good.

when will all these bad feelings ever end..
when will i ever be someone good..someone of use.
how long..

yep. i'm really tired by now.. but i dun want ta sleep.. just dun feel like it..

i lie awake... i drive myself crazy