Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always "me first."

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, THE MESSAGE

pingy

dear God I must confess
that sometimes You seem far away
sometimes i forget about
how i stand because of grace

but Lord there's been a change in me
a change i hope will stay
for this is my prayer today

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ooOoo.. today. or rather yest.. went mere bday! before dat went wif kerr to sum cat high thing wif nobody ones? lol. and her frens are funny.. i legs were so tired. achin from fri stupid 'trg'.. lol. old already la.

den went mere hse.. haha.. cool. hyper and all. her mum was nice. sometimes just wonder why cant my rlts wif my mum be e same? haha. nvm. hui hui all e mad ppl! haha. and mere gave us gifts too! really cute disney winnie pooh and frens plush toy. so cute. decided to bring it everywhere wif me and keep me happy. den dere was a wallet. a keychain. and a small card. thanks to mere and mere's mum! yea. den we ate satay for dinner and her mum fetch all of us home. wow. haha..

home. i on tv and blop on my bed. woke up. ate fried black carrot cake.. bathe. den here now.. from no on. i must be happy. must not tink. and must no curse. anybody who reads this also. please dun ever ever tell me if u see him. i'm not interested to know.. i'm serious. i'm not. if u do. u'll spoil my day. cos i haven mastered a way not to tink. so e only way now is to avoid and escape. yes. as time past. it'll go away. SO.. DUN TELL ME! screams! screams!

i'm off to singing to myself now. =D love it. makes me happy. i'll make it to SI one day. i will. muahaha.

haha.. figured out i dun like to update too.. my life is just too boring. haha. just glad dat finally nitemares are over and rather nice dreams happenin to me. oooo.. found my forest out dere. finally leaving the dead tree wif a parasite living on it. ha. JY and W!

lol. i'm telling u. i'm gonna marry a W. becos i just realised my eldest sis husband is a W. my 2nd sis so to be husband is a W! hey. mabe W are meant for this family. and i tink i W i know are kindhearted and nice. heee. nvm shall just idolise dat W. he's far too a good catch. lol.

i'm dead. i do my work REAL SLOW. i'm like gona cry. i duno how some mad ppl can do 2 EMATH SPECIMEN paper behind of e emath textbook in ONE day? any of u who have a emath textbook. flip to see how much it is. and like many others as mad too.. eg kerr.. 92Q of radioactivity in 2 days. ALL maths in 2 days. i took a week just to do Amath? BOOO. BUCK UP PING. STOP PIGGING I'M TELLING U. if u sleep and sleep somemore. i'm GONA HATE U. U BETTER BUCK UP NOW. its already gona be too late. i din do all my tys last year. now i'm left wif alot of work. and i'm SLOW. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ok. bah.

well.. i've changed. and i kinda like wad i am now. madder. crazzier. just out to do wad i want. wad i like. like i'm so fRee.. no restrictions somehow. mabe just from my parents. but i'm quite free.. dun tell lies to my parents now. mabe dey start to believe me more..



i just set out wad i want to to. just be bold. just do it. anD u never know wads the results. to wad i know! e results are great. =) just kinda love my life now more and more. gotta enjoy wad i have now. frens frens and all my frens. one thing i really need now is more money and brains. haha. just wish someone in my family strike 4d and gives me some money. lol. =)



get a brainy eye candy fling. these are e two impt things now. brainy fling enables my nice grades too.. lol. hee.. well.. but.

siao ah. where to find brainy eye candy fling. ahah! wells. heEe.. back to me. i have control of my life now. i know wad i want. and wad i dunt! =) and i'm happy rite now. -BeAms

haha.. oOooOoo.. i went out wif kerr and jeslyn on friday! heEe.. first we went to eat at carRefouR pizZa and macroni cheese? haha.. cheap and good.. den got this chilli pepper chicken also.. nice! haha.. den hor.. den hor.. we sit knight bus ley! lol.. e conductor gave me a shock. but he's cute. ahah =D.. took pictureS wif him! =) yay! had a scar painting on my neck and hand and a balloon sword dat deflated? LOL.. yay! den me and kerr went shopping.. met up wif her kor and jeslyn again.. weNt queEnsway.. and keRr.. after trying many many sizes.. finally got her shoe!! yay! she so happily dancing and shaking e shoe. lol.. yay! den we went ikea eat meatballs and chicken.. wa.. meatballs.. too many make me sick.. oH! and got nice cookie dere.. =D

saturday.. went for chem remedial.. den met someone.. haha.. brought me to so many places i haven been? like marina square? lol.. i suaku la..den nearby like is it singapore river? under nicoll highway? i duno.. but breezy!! nice scene.. couples.. nice place. haha.. well no worries. dun have to feel alone! i noe i'll be dere wif my husband one day =D den watched day after tmr.. ate yoshi.. and played at e waterfall! yay! i like! very fun.. shallow water.. nice. nice.. i like e water.. i wan go play again. nx time i wear slippers. dun so dumb wear shoe.. haha! wEeEe.. sEee.. iTs supposed to be a happy day rite? but i spoilt it by being sad.. look at below post. haha.. yeA man..

keRr and someone RoCk mY woRld.. and aLL my otheR freN.. everyone who goeS ouT wiF mE! thAnks.. loVe u loTS! u guYs aRe definitely a hundred times beTTer than a bf.. =)

hmmm... naughty me.. have not really done hw except a eng compre and summary.. just cant be kept at home? it feels really terrible to be home.. makes u tink alot.. den u feel so empty.. den dies.. everything comes back.. well.. had e most traumatic nightmare on thurs nite.. dream of them. yes dem again.. this time is full blast throughout the nite! even when i wake up 5 times from e dream.. everytime i slept back.. it falls straight back into where i woke up.. terrible. he said many mean things to me in e dream.. so did e girl (no offence.. tho i duno why. just've got something against her )= ..noe i shouldn't..but oh well.. have not attain dat kind of peaceful heart of mind..haha) well.. tho it din affected me as bad as last time immediately when i woke up.. e effects are still lingering here now.. i'm starting to shed tears again.. starting to feel unhappy.. just thot dat mean ppl are supposed to get retribution.. but it doesn't seems like to me.. he's got a gf and a new ipod? dey get rewards instead on retribution.. nevertheless.. its not supposed to be my business anymore. but i still feel hurt and cheated out. like wad have i done to make things so bad? well.. gotta hang on.. sometimes i feel my happiness is quite fake. cos deep down. i'm still hurt.. really hope to change all these.. and not give up on moving on. i always forget my goals.. dat one day i will definitely get below 10 for L1R5.get into a good jc.make it big in life and meet my fairytale.. it beats better than to just have a bf that doesn't respect u and having bad grades becos we go out all e time? i dun have to lie to my parents anymore? i can go anywhere i want? with any friend now? i'm as free as a bird. i'm supposed to be happy? but those memories are far too many.. curved.imprinted.. i want to burn those memories away..if only i cld make it disappear.. time. how long will i take. i gota do it fast.. its affecting me.. sigh.. sometimes its so easy to lose all e hope dat i've built up for so long.. haha.. getting long winded here again ping..

well.. went shopping! din buy anything.. but saw many targets to buy.. waiting for money to drop from sky before i buy? haha.. i'm in need of money.. now.. things i buy makes me happy. haha.. bad bad habit =X.. well well..

but my life seems in better control now.. guess i see more.. felt more. know more.. thanks for all e people who has always been dere for me..

haha.. this entry is a bad bad entry for a happy blog.. hope to see less of this ping! haha.. i'm talking to myself again.. wuahaha.. i'm really mad now.. something burnt my brain.. oH! i wana get a bicycle.. and many many many more. haha.

fairy tales do happen.. i know mine will come.. definitely not soon. but it will come. and it will definitely be better than his.. i tink he's totally lost touch of wad true love feels like.. he just wants happiness and fun.. goes for freshness and kicks e old.. how many more is he going to hurt? has he really changed? i duno.. why am i tinking of him again. MAD! u tink of him again and i'm gona SHOOT u. ok.. haha.

heya.. sorry peeps if u dun mind me talking to myself.. anyway. bad entry.

wtf? i just received a bloody phonecall and e woman ask.. " is nicholas dere?" like wtf!!! of all wrong numbers.. wrong phone call.. she had to bloody find nicholas.. i was like "nicholas what?" ..she refuse to say.. hesitated awhile..den she ask.. is dat nicholas from cat high? like wa lao! best lor.. OF ALL WRONG NUMBER SHE HAD TO FIND FOR A BLOODY F NAME CALLED NICHOLAS.. wads her problem sia? hmmm.. can fit her voice into huiyi face tho.. EEEEIKS.. NO! gross.. why wld she call me? see if i'm still alive? DISGUSTING. eeeeeeeeeeeee.....SWAY SIA. haha.. ok.. i'm lame.. making a big fuss.. but seriously.. nicholas.. dat bloody name give me e creeps.

hMmm... woke up early today.. 8+.. den went pasir ris park.. we were dere on estee's church outing.. i was e 'fren'.. haha.. hmmm.. lucky i din feel extra.. haha.. had fun.. played games.. ate.. ride bike.. den wen we gonna leave.. rain.. lucky.. haha.. den someone's dad fetch us back to estee's hse.. i ate finished a packet of her potato chips all by myself.. =X opPs.. haha.. its my first time.. den we went online on her mum's laptop when her whole house is connected to e internet wireless.. cool sia. we downloaded pictures and stuff into our handphone.. haha.. it was fun! the pictures were all super nice sia.. haha.. yea..

oh yea.. while riding bike.. someone langa into me. my leg got caught in e bearings thingy.. had black marks all over my leg.. it hurt ok..kinda.. lucky no blood.. haha.. but i cont riding anyway. haha.. no pain la! lols.. i'm brave and i'm ping! lol.. mad.. sorry. always over obssess wif myself.. well. dats quite a good thing too rite? haha.. at least i'll never get hurt by loving myself.. cos i'll always be dere for myself! haha. i speak some sense.. well.. pasir ris park.. at some moments wif him dere.. and i cycled past e place we've been e other time today.. sigh.. no point yea.. gone and grossed. haha. YEP! i have much better future. better looking guys.. better characters.. better to me.. and loves me.. haha.. thank for leaving me dude! u unblind my eyes.. i see so many things so clear now.. am definitely stronger i tink. yea.. thanks. wEehaA..