alrights!!!

monday:
my pop brought us to this duck rice stall at geylang - yummy but it's a tad too sweet =) came home and did my pattern making homework... zzzzz

tuesday:
went to school to help out for the mediacorp thingy. went to komala for the first time. somehow, eating pratas and with coconut dips and some curry taste better when you're in little india. went to mustafa too!!! first time whahaha saw those casio watches which i was itching to buy... well the colour is gold so... a bit beng lah but... nice wha... futuristic leh... drank some teh tarik... mingyi, dong ming and donaldson's ice teh tarik taste soo sweet and mine which was a hot teh tarik tasted like... (decribe by dong ming - like bitter lotus soup) what?! hahaha but really, my tea tasted nothing like tea hahaha then went home with mr tan ate dao huay one the way. went home to find my sister back!!! she brought lots of potato chips and chocolate with mnms hidden inside =D di 2... ni men you kou fu le...

wed:
staying at home the whole day. must finish those drawings.

been thinking and getting butterflies in my tummy while waiting for that email. apparently i have not rec any email yet... wha... waiting... waiting...

i want to overcome these
1. envy
2. negative thoughts

pratice more of these
1. giving
2. being positive

thinking: teh makes one's breathe stink till the next day.. *hoorrrr*
song: vincent - don mclean

yokes was soo dejected today, with only less than 12 hours to her assessment, photos not printed out yet (those photos takes about 4 hours to develope) and yet she has to finish the whole entire membership class (3-8)... she cried, afraid to fail her assessment... she prayed... and god works wonders!!! a phone call came in... assessment push to wednesday!!!

prayers works. all you have to do is believe =D

one brother rededicate yesterday!!! raymond ng!!! really happy for this brother!!! welcome to this wonderful close knitted family!!! next is h20 bap okie!!!

tmr my dad will be bringing me and my sis out for lunch!!! im really happy cos, well usually he's too busy, even on his rest day (monday) yeah!!!

thinking: talents may help but god sees the heart and motive behind everything
song: voice of hope (addicted to this songs)

to livi

i remember our first shepherding at OA bakery, our last shepherding at kopi bean and those countless nua-ing in your house, our easter Cg where we did empty eggshells musicians, bday celebration in dan ryan's and in your house with pearls and roti pratas, and those dangerous weight gaining Cgs. talking to you has always been a joy to me because even though u might appear evil *laughs* esp to me, dewen and junyao, but nonetheless, you're one wise little fella =D you never fail to make me listen to you and understand how things should be done and how to solve problems in the quietest way possible. livi, you didnt give up on me when i bit you soo many times and you never fails to answer my needs whenever possible... god's plan is the best plan. you're there for a purpose. to get married before 24 years old!!! keke but serious, all the best to you. aaawww... really gonna miss you man...

changes and transactions are common in hope. it's all for the best. god's plan that is... a friend and i were discussing about people getting bitter about changes to their lives esp those changes that don't go according to their ways. why blame god? we live on the 2nd floor anyways. trust god. thats why it's call faith. if we can see and know god's plan then whats the use of god? therefore be blind my brothers. believe, trust and have faith in god.

i'm battling a problem within myself. will reveal much later but this problem has been on my mind ever since i spoke to meihwa and shelby... somehow i'm reluctant to give up and at the same time i want to give up too. the feeling is xin suan... you know, a bit sourish... -_- anyways, not backsliding ah...

meihwa asked me these questions.

1) what is your mission in this great commission?
2) what is your vision and goal in the kingdom of god?

will i be satisfied with the answer? or will i be bitter about changes and become bitter towards his great plan? sometimes i'm unsure of what's his plan for me. yes no or wait? which is which? how do i know? micah 6:8

thinking: i want to go back and rekindle my first love.
song: will i praise thee

you know, i'm always so fascinated by the scene of a woman running towards a man like as if they have never met since k1 and then they start to smooch and hug? and then when the bible talks about the prodigal son and then the father who's already of a certain age but somehow manage to run towards the son? well i've always wanted to know how it feels to have someone running towards you with smiles on their faces and arms wide open and that warm feeling? well, i finally knew and understand how it really felt last fri.

come, picture this with me. yokes was really tired with all her projects and when i saw her, and her face spelt, "gone case". but when she saw me (not as if i'm like a golden ticket or a forever 99% discount card from art friend) her eyes literally lit up, lips curl upwards and then she started to run towards me and then wrap her arms around mine. i felt sooo warm... really, i finally know how it feels like the father in the prodigal son. i really wonder how god feels whenever we run towards him =)

sunday was h20 bap. yokeling is ruth!!! sheralyn is danielle!!! no more yo-yo-ing and no more half past ten. now everyone works 24/7!!! =)

recently, i got myself entangled into a ball of redundent mafan... got gossipy in class and got pissed off too. but after some thinking, there wasnt any need to talk back and there wasnt any need to be angry too. after much of thinking through, i thought i could help or even lend a helping hand to anyone in need... but somehow i'm not superwoman or wonderwoman so perhaps now the only i can do is to listen and not help much anymore... it's really tiring... just like when sheep has problems, they're quite easy to help because they allow help to come in but when they dont... well, sometimes they dont hahaha oops...

became really mean to missus airhead today... okie i'm apologise... sorry!!!!! btw, you're still too small to reach me =p

thinking: even the tiniest thoughts are equally dangerous.
song: deeply in love

-

had a great talk with meihwa last night. thanks mei =)

celebrated babeee's (jaime) birthday on friday night. yup, happy early birthday!!! and welcome to the "adult" club officially next week.

ability teng (jane teng), welcome to the adult club man, now we left shelby, the last member to join us... =)

time passes so quickly, just a few years ago, i just graduated from high school then enter nafa. now in another 1 1/2 years time, it'll be graduation and then enter the working arena... i'm already 21 and 4 years later, i'll be 1/4 of a century old. time passes really quickly and fast.

am i doing enough? whats the real heart attitude and the real motive for doing *things*? i don't want to let my youth pass by me without achieving anything.

thinking: die with regrets - no way...
song: spanish guitar

i finally have my own desktop!!!

anyways, great day in school, mediacorp has decided to use my designs =D and they're going to film the drama in our school and also... they need 200 extras (students) heh heh heh... 5 sec worth of fame. anyone up for grabs?

most of us wore red to school today, once mingyi and the rest send me the pics, i will post them on this blog... heh heh heh

happy 40th birthday Singapore!!!

okie, the previous post is not exactly very encouraging. =p just a part of me getting edgy about the way things are in school...

tmr's another day... face it with the right spirit. the first and the hardest. love.

thinking: livi san, pls send me all the songs =D
song: we the citizens of Singapore... =D

no point pleasing people so that perhaps they might react nicer to you or so that circumstances might be towards your advantage.

i don't want to be a people pleaser.

i don't want to suck up to teachers.

i don't want to join in any gossip.

i don't want to be in the centre of any attention and be gossip at.

i want to be real.

i want to be me.

sometimes, pleasing people can be sooo tiring, for what? rubbish. just for a higher chance of getting promoted, just for more marks for a particular project, just for a higher chance of attaining attention. hello~ wakey wakey, it just doesn't justify pure hard work and pure talents... somehow this particular issue about kissing up to teachers for more marks ( for not doing any homework and yet gets marks) always pops up once a while in my blog. i really get so jaded of seeing these kinda scenes in my classes. hello~ again, for once, rely on your own hard work lah.

i'm upset. because i see that people in my class don't draw anything nor prepare anything yet the teacher just smile at and laugh. and then the other side, those who work hard, just got some hmmm and haw and thats it. hello again, comment on the subject and teach the students can? we pay you to teach, to comment, to give critical replies, so that we'll learn... argh... i hope i am not judging. i'm commenting on things that i see with my own eyes. urgh.

i just don't get it.

thinking: be a god pleaser. not man.
song: ...

finally handed up the mediacorp project and the art house display project... =)

joke of the day.

cherleen asked me what is the one and only dish that i can eat with rice. i wanted to say fan jia ji dan (rice add egg) but i said fan jia zha dan (rice add bomb)... hahaha funny hor hee

gosh, this week has been so tiring... and this is not even near the assessment date...woohoo

z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z

beyond is coming to singapore for their last concert!!! must go!!!

thinking: spiritual gifts and abilities
song: =p

i gave 15 bucks to a boy i've never seen in my life. he was going around the bush to beg for money to take a cab to see his grandmother. he couldn't find his mother nor does he have any money with him. asking him where he was and how old (vincent from hongkah secondary sec 3). after much interogation, i gave him $15 and a muffin. his eyes became red and started tearing then he promptly wiped away his tears. he saw goodbye. i watched him from my house and saw that he dashed across the road, to the buildings opp. after that i prayed for him and i teared cos i know how it feels like to be desperate in such circumstances. morever, begging for money.

after awhile i thought to myself. was i conned by a 15 yr old boy? but what if it's true. $15 is nothing but i just felt that he was telling the truth. but i feel really funny because

(1) if he's lying - why? a bet he bet with his friend to see who can con the most amount ofmoney? a cheap thrill?

(2) if he's not lying - i hope everything turns out alright for him.

i told my sister, she said i was conned. he's an absolute liar. it's akin to giving money to drug addicts and then telling them to buy food when we jolly well know that they will spend it all on drugs. but somehow, i feel that he was telling the truth. i'm confused. did i do the right thing or not?

had shepherding with yokes on sat at s-11, was going through certain issues when we were scared stiff by a man, suddenly he just appeared at our table, putting his arms on our table and start to talk about his past (all 9 of his friends died in jail) then he said something about yehsu which i presumed to be jesus... and he start to tell us he had an injury (he started to pull his shirt and turn his back and as if he was about to pull down his pants)... yokes and i ran into the airconditioned area and hid in one corner...

i lost an 8 yr old collection of magazine trend archives. this is the second time and i'm extremely upset about it. i was thinking of using the archives for reference for one of the projects. i prayed again. this came to me. if he can create heavens and earth and design the most complex structure alive, how can he not give me the ability to come up with designs for a mere project? in the end, out of the 10 women outfits, 6 got chosen and out of the 4 men's oufit, 2 got chosen. tell me then, can i possibly do all these by myself?

No.

thinking: i'm hungry. for the wog.
song: to you