Politically apathetic no more

I'm silently following the news regarding GE and refraining from commenting cuz everyone has their own opinion and I'm not the most informed about politics so I chose to stay silent instead of sounding ignorant. BUT recently there has been a lot of stupid comments on Twitter and FB and shit, by people who are around MY age and can't even vote, yet acting all self righteous and saying things along the lines of "NSP is No Substance Party", "If you vote opposition, how stupid is that", "How can you be so ungrateful to LKY?!" (regarding the FB likes nonsense)

I am far from being politically involved, I hardly read the newspapers, whatever info I gather I get off short articles online or read the different FB notes floating around. So yes, call me ignorant, but frankly, so are most of YOU. (Not referring to the people who genuinely believe in the PAP then by all means go vote for PAP la. Or for those who are voting opposition because they want to, and trust that they can represent you better than PAP, then okay you all are rational people who are entitled to your own opinion very good! This is to the people who have been tweeting like PAP DID SO MUCH FOR US HOW DARE YOU NOT VOTE FOR THEM -esque things, when you are not even of age to vote much less feel the brunt of most policies in Singapore )

I'm not pro-PAP, or pro-Opposition. I'm pro-LKY because of what he has done for us and our country, bringing us to where we are now. Yes, because of that he deserves all due respect and admiration (and FB likes). BUT I don't think it is right to say that people are ungrateful to the PAP and to LKY if they vote opposition. Where is the sense in voting based on what they've DONE not what they're DOING or promise to DO. So far, from the PAP, I hear threats of "Vote for opposition and live with the consequences", admissions that PAP wards get priority for upgrading (SERIOUSLY. What happened to ONE nation, ONE people, ONE Singapore?!?!) etc. The opposition is inexperienced and has done nothing to prove themselves worthy of your vote, I agree, but can you hold it against them for LACKING the opportunity and resources to do so?

The money used to win over Singaporeans - Taxpayers' money, money used for PAP campaigns, for the food, drinks, shuttle buses at PAP rallies - Taxpayers' money, the annoying vans replaying campaign slogans - Taxpayers' money, the big banners and posters plastered on lamp posts- Taxpayers' money. This all only goes to show the great great hold PAP has over our country and it's political scene. IF all the money being used to campaign is coming from the ministers' very very very fat paycheques + private sector salaries, fine I concede. But I highly doubt so. Meanwhile, we have opposition parties struggling to raise money just to RUN as candidates. Not to mention the subsequent campaigning costs draining their personal pockets. IS THAT FAIR? No.

I'm not against the PAP, I'm happy with my life in Singapore, but I'm aware that that's because I'm sheltered in my middle-class lifestyle and Mummy's prudence and thrift have given us little money woes (or not any that she has told us about anyway). I'm too young to feel the impact of rising oil prices, raising the GST, not being able to buy HDB flats because we own private property, the influx of foreign workers stealing available jobs while I remain jobless etc. Therefore, I am content with my life here. But I know others aren't.

I do not agree however with how PAP has chosen to run their campaign, with scare tactics and dangling the carrot or whatever. I do think that there should be more voices in Parliament simply because the PAP is getting too damn complacent. They have helped us lead a good life thus far, I'm not complaining. But I'm sure there are others ignored who would want a chance to raise their voices? If the opposition proves to be substance-less and provides no value for our country, then vote for the PAP in the next GE lah. But give them a chance can? Plus how much wrong can they do, I doubt they'll win a substantial number of seats anyway but give them that opportunity nonetheless!

Just needed to put that out there and add to the never ending views on this very interesting GE. If you're more well read than me (which you probably are) and my words sound damn stupid/foolish then ignore k. But this is what I know and feel regardless.

To end this very unlike-me rant, IT IS 5AM AND I CANNOT BLOODY SLEEP BECAUSE MY BODY CLOCK IS SCREWED. I'm supposed to have a productive day but how to do that if I wake up at 2pm?! Uggghhhh ok shall close my eyes and listen to my breathing trying to fall asleep GOODNIGHT. (Hahahahha sound more normal now right I sound like I got personality disorder hahahaha ok bye.) Oh wow I think I just heard the newspaper man dropping our newspapers at the doorstep kns.................................. Bye.

Happy Song

OK so I did manage to meet Yiguanzzzzzz last last Tuesday hahahahha. Had Thai food for dinner and then went to find dessert and sat and chilled and talkeddddddddd. Told her that making plans with her is like trying to strike lottery hahahahahha can't wait till we next go out!!!!!!!!!

Took classes back at SACPS again for Wed and Thurs. Freaking draining to work until 11pm, go home about 12am alr, then shower, send in stock list, sleep, wake up at 630am, and then WORK. Walau eh hahahaha but I liked the class I was teaching even though it is full of naughty kaypoh students!!!

Macs breakfast with Mummy before NUS Law interview on Friday which went.... I don't know how it went they didn't have much to ask me?? Home to fall asleep then go off to work again. Sunday was the Law aptitude test which AIYAH I ALSO DUNNO HAHAHAHA. The only thing we can do now is wait wait wait!!!!

Monday was an emotional night, but finally met up with Vivi last Tues to eat at Wild Honey! The food was good though overpricedddddddd. Then went for our manicures, walked around looking at makeup. Even though it's been SUCH a long time since we last talked properly and stuff, I'm glad like, we're msging more often nowwwwww love you GF you brightened up my day!!! (: Especially since I was PMSing that stupid week.

Wednesday, Gim came over (like 2 hours late) and we COOKED!!! Made pasta which was yummmm and he demonstrated How NOT to roll Popiah ahhahaha. ^^ Then we broke out the blender, mini bottles of Baileys, Nutella, mini Oreos, milk and ice to make NUTELLA SHOTS + added Oreos. WALAU it was like, a really really shiok milkshake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D Then Mummy sent us to work haha.

Thursday was my FTT, which I passed! Went home, rushed to get ready and then out of the house to meet Lionel for dinner! Made 3 rounds around Cold Storage, got our stuff then went to chill at Fairmont. Garrett, Zhijun and Gim came over to meet us then we cabbed down to Maxwell, AND T'WAS A GOOD AND ENTERTAINING NIGHT! (:

Ok my posts are getting really brief aiyoooo. Yesterday went over to Laoshi's house with Meredith and Ling to eat BAK KUT TEH!!!!! Laoshi always so nice to us haha we go over just to eat and entertain her with alot of stories hehehehe. She really watched us grow up lor, since I was like 9, Meredith 7, Ling 8 WOW. 10 years already!!!!!! (:

Had driving this morning after like.. A month and a half of no driving. Slowly getting back the feel of driving already!! I really need to hurry pass leh lessons are bloody expensive. I wanna pass before my PDL expires in August!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And drive Gim before he leaves HAHAHAHAHAHA. :D

Everyday I wake up, eat, watch tv, got nothing to watch on tv then I'll go back to sleep, wake up, get ready for work go to work, come home, go on the computer, then sleep somemore. EVERY DAY LEH THIS IS DAMN BAD I SLEEP SUPER ALOT?!??!?! No life no life no life omg. OK having lunch with Gim tomorrow to use up his vouchers (always like that one hahaha) and it's my off day so no work tomorrow night yayyyy!!!!! Want May's schedule to be out ASAP so I can make plans plzzzzzz. OH Calvin got into OCS (as if there was doubt he wouldn't I got IRON FAITH okay) and we're going to visit him this Sunday!!! ^^ Which is also the day VIBZY comes back I'm so bloody excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (: (: (: OKAY BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE this is such a terrible blogpost.

Crispy Pig Intestines!

Last Thursday rotted my off day at home trying to prepare for my interviewwwwwwwwwwwww. So nothing much!

Friday saw me waking up terribly early in the morning and getting my butt down to SMU where I met Daryl and Louise! Took our 15mins written test which was like zzzz 15mins how to write properly. Then went for the group interview with Daryl and coincidentally Yiguan's cousin Celestine! Hahaha. The interview was kinda rushed so I felt it was unfair but hopefully I made sense and got my points across (: Took a train with Daryl then met Mummy and Chenyin at Tampines hehe. They said I double dated them cuz they both thought I would be alone HAHAHHAA. But whatever la. Walked around the Japan fair, bought some food. Went to get shirts for work, tried Eskimo for the first time, and went home with a bag of Garrett's caramel almond popcorn yum! Qianyun is off in Europe now lucky girlllllllllllll!!!!! (:

Went home where I was supposed to rest but only felt tired like half an hour before I had to get ready for work -.- Work passed quite fast plus I got damn exciting news during work time!!! After work, went to find Gim at T1 and subsequently took like 30mins to get home from Changi Airport because (surprise surprise) we got lost while driving BUAY TAHAN HAHAHAHAHA. Went home and disturbed Meredith in her room and then went to wake Mummy up with news HAHA OMG THE WORLD IS TOO SMALL RIGHT GIM. Changed then left the house again for our exciting night out HAHA.

The place we wanted to go was closed, we always got no fate with food like that seriously, so ended up driving around until we found a big 24 HOURS sign. Ordered food and had freaking shiok Crispy pig intestines omg... Sat and talked for about 4 hours until about 5plus am? Then made our way back home again (you see right now my home is his home cuz he's my brother what so it's easier to just say HOME hahahaha) to send in our stock lists and shower. Then set off while the sky was still dim to go to the floating platform for Calvin's POP!

Omg the only thing I can say about the POP was that it was damn smelly like we were walking up the stairs to the grandstand area and we were just HIT by the smell of the armyboiz who were sitting on the floor. Kns..... Went to find Calvin's parents under the hot hot sun. The parade itself was kinda short but I thought their BMTC cheer was damn cute hahahaha. AND WHEN THEY MARCHED PAST also can smell them ok fine cannot blame them since they just marched 24km right but walau eh! Hahahaha. Went to find Calvin amidst the crowd of smelly botak boys who all look the same. Took some pictures then his parents gave me a ride home! Fell asleep in the car because staying up the whole night finally HIT me haha.

Home where I fell asleep for about 5hours then went to work. Yesterday was spent uh doing nothing, but I am making friends with other promoters FINALLY!!! Since the only time I get to meet other people are like, when I am already off my shift -.-

Woke up at 2pm today, then slowly like rolled around the house. Ok I didn't roll I was just slowly moving and then slowly getting ready.... Took a shuttle bus to Tampines to meet Gim for dinner at Carls Jr cuz we both wanted BREADED CHICKEN TENDERS!! Which are really very very good but over priced D: Saw Meredith with... A BOY :O Oh shit when she sees this she's going to kill me but hahahahahahaha. Then Ling came to find us for a while also. Went to Cold Storage to buy sweets for work! Then took a train to airport and went our separate wayssssssssssss.

Work today passed by very fast cuz I was working with my favourite coworkers! They saw me carrying the Cold Storage plastic bag and were like "You come here for picnic ah" walau also give them sweets right. AND AND AND THE MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY?????? I SOLD MY FIRST 2 BOTTLES OF WINE!!!!!!!!! Like omg after 8 days of work I FINALLY SOLD THE WINE I'M PROMOTING THANK YOU!!!!!! So bloody happy please!!!!! AND AND I made new friends who I remembered to introduce myself to HAHAHA instead of saying hi/bye to them and forgetting to ask for their names. Like the delivery boy who always goes past our shop I asked him to go past more often cuz I'm so freaking bored. And the guy who goes "HELLO LAWYER!" when he sees me, to which I respond "PLEASE DON'T CALL ME THAT UNTIL I GET IN". Work is getting better (:

Rushed for last train today with Gim instead of taking a bus, in the end our buses came at the same time lor so KNS DON'T TELL ME YOU WAITED FOR SECOND BUS HAHA. Today was also nice because I felt touched by a friend who made an effort to bring our friendship closer again, thank you and I cannot wait for next Monday (: And I cannot wait to start planning a care package for SarahBarah! :D :D Shall sleep soon, tomorrow is my OFF DAY OFF DAY OFF DAY, dinner with Yiguan if we decide on a place to go haha. Shall be productive! Byebye! (:

Someone Like You

Ok again continuing from last week ~ Hahahaha went to watch Red Riding Hood with Gimzzzz last Wednesday! We rushed to dabao food and sneak it into the cinema hahaha guess what we got????? Rosti, mashed potatoes and sauteed veggiesssss from Marche!!!! Omg the smell freaking strong in the cinema BUT IT WAS SO GOOD YUM. (: After the movie ended, went to get his pants for work then parked our butts in Starbucks (as usual). Ate the cupcake he bought for me from MBS which was super gooooooooodddddd thank youuuu ^^ Then we kinda sat in almost silence aiyo. Parted ways ~

Was supposed to have orientation at the airport on Thurs but it got cancelled so I spent it baking OREO STUFFED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!!! Shiokkk they are the size of hockey pucks and damn bloody sweet but still yummmmm. Went to Giant to get food and tried alot of my favourite Moscato (: Friday was a blur, until I got ready for work! Which was damn slow... And boring... Cuz no one comes into our shop ): I hope it gets better!!!!

Saturday was our BARBEQUEEEEEE!!!!! Dylon came over the earliest then we skewered stuff while waiting for Zhijun to calllll. Went out to fetch her from Tampines and walked around, met Aaron then headed back meeting Lionel and Calvin on the way! Next was Gim who presented Gong Cha to Mummy and Meredith making him officially my brother already :D Omg we had so much food at the BBQ like really alot alot alot of food. Chicken wings, satay, otak, crabsticks, sausages (which disappeared before we knew what happened), beef, pork wrapped asparagus/enoki, stingray, potatoes, sweet potatoes, garlic bread, prawns..... Big thanks going out to Dy who made a very good fire and spent most of the night over the pit!!!! Went back to the house to chill. All of them were in shock/horror at the state of my room but like aiyah DON'T JUDGE ME CAN? Got walking space on the floor what ): All in all I had a good time, as I always do with them arounddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lurve you guyssssssss to bits and pieces cannot wait for our NOL hor Aarooooonn...????? :D

Sunday had work, nothing new. Yesterday dragged my butt down to Farrer Park cuz it's the 49th day after Ah Ma passed away. Had tok tok mee which was abit weird, then went home to rot before going for work again... Ranted to Aaron last night and Tumblr-ed sad things haha ended up sleeping at about 5am. Thank you Aaron for listening to me even though you have to study!! Shisha after your exams PROMISE!!!! Haha. (:

Despite the change of plans, I enjoyed today! Went to meet Gim, Mummy said "Haiyo Gimlim again, I very sick of him leh can I one day don't hear his name??" HAHAHAHAHA. Watched The Lincoln Lawyer which I thought was good! Bought stuff from Daiso then landed in.... Where else, Starbucks. Talked talked talked about what was upsetting both of us. So it was kinda depressing haha we just sat there and like stared at each other in morose silence. While it rained outside. Took a few pictures where our faces turned out weird cuz we couldn't smile properly due to the EXTREME DEPRESSION inside us hahahahahaha. Ohwellz. He left and I sat there for a while more before leaving. Realised the sole of my damn shoe came off so I half dragged/tiptoed to the Mister Minit to get it fixed. Knsssss what ass luck. Went to Somerset to meet Lionel! Ate yummy ramen then went Acid Bar to chill/talk. Thank you both of you for today!! (: Really needed it, the talking and spilling our hearts out and the music and drinks after. (:

I am currently very very very upset. But I KNOW I will get over it. Somehow. Because it's not the first time such things have gotten me down I just need to learn from it and stop expecting anything more. It's fucking heartbreaking to be disappointed by the people who are supposed to know you best, time and time again. What Gim told me today was right, that I'm allowing myself to be taken for granted. Asking for it, even. Ughhhhhhh. But oh well, that's Life? Looking forward to this weekend, maybe crazy plans on Friday and then Calvin's POP on Saturday! Everything will be A-okayyyyy ~

HARDEN YOUR HEART

More photos see I'm being a good blogger hahahaha. Shall continue where I left off last last week?? I have to refer to my planner to remind myself what plans I had HAHAHA.

Thursday 10/03: Frog leg porridge with Zhijun and Gimlim after driving was yumzzzz ^^ Gim totally underestimated Jun's sense of direction and went to find her in the MRT station when she managed to find her way lor!!!!!! Had a good supper - Jun eating the weird parts of the frog, Gim only eating the sauce and porridge, AND ME BEING NORMAL (: Next time we shall meet for KUAAAAAAY CHAP! Heeee.

Uh next day woke up damn early to drag our butts down to Raffles Place to fill up forms at some temp agency, then walked around doing hardly anything, took a bus down to the driving centre and realised I've been walking 2 bus stops away WHEN THE BUS STOPS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CENTRE AJKHDUIASDAU, Gim left for Maldives!

Went for NUS and NUS Law open houses that weekend, nothing much to say about them but I remember feeling very overwhelmed and self doubting but OK PERIOD OF MY LIFE OVER.

Met Meowlissa for an impromptu lunch on Tuesday 15/03 hehe Meowmeow!!! Then left to go meet Calvin for Strictly Pancakes WHICH WERE DAMN AWESOME!!!! Aaron came to join us then we went to SMU, sat outside Faye's classroom. Calvin was being productive and submitted his NUS app while I continued whining about paying someone to help me fill up and submit my apps hahahaa. We embarrassed ourselves outside Faye's classroom D: Aiyo but it's ok hahaha. Walked with Calvin to wait for bus then the botakboy had to go off alr and book in that evening ): Went to Raffles City and met Liwen for a while. LIKE OMG HOW LONG HAS THAT NAME NOT BEEN MENTIONED ON THIS BLOG???? Hahahaha.

Talked to her for abit, before she left and I met Chenyin/Hanle/Wanen!!!! Found Meowl and Nicolette then we walked over to Harry's at Esplanade for 04 girls dinner!!! It was good to catch up with everyone - Justina, Lynn, Jo and Charis joined us later. Although I guess Uni apps and choices are weighing on everyone's mind but it's good to know that we all have our paths in mind (: Plus talking about potential angmoh names like "Channing Tatum" and "Justin Long" hahahaha. The service at Harry's was FUCKING HORRENDOUS but no GST and we stood our ground about ordering drinks so YEAH. Sat at Starbucks and nua-ed, took many pictures, talked. Chilling like that is awesomezzzzzzz.

Since our Japan trip was sadly cancelled, me and Meredith tagged along with Mummy to KL. It wasn't very fun cuz it's not sale season so cannot really shop sigh. But we ate DAMN BLOODY ALOT and our hotel had Disney channel so every night was spent watching Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers LA/Suite Life on Deck and some other nonsense while doing crunches/planks on the bed hahahaha. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WE ATE it's freaking ridiculous. We bought 4 dozen Krispy Kreme back to deliver to various people, ate like 2 donuts everyday NUTTY BUTTERYYYY, Nando's, Kenny Rogers', char kuay teow, wanton mee, jap food. Aiyo it was madness!!! Came back then like, ok nothing much lor.

Monday 21/03, woke up early to be productive and call up prospective employers haha. Rushed down to Chinatown w Gim for an interview where I promptly sounded damn suaku but yknow, NEVER MIND LA!!! Went to sit at Starbucks and just like, SAT THERE talking and sorting through seashells which he brought back from Maldives. Walked around to buy his hair dye, buy my makeup remover and also a couple of books, then SAT SOMEMORE at MOS talking and taking "Brand Ambassador Worthy" pictures. And also my new profile pic hahaha. ^^ Took a train back and met Daddy at Simei and he came over for dinner. Then I had a bad end to the night -refer to previous post

Next day went to the airport for a second round of interviews where we met a damn entertaining girl. And also faced a strict interview, had to wear heels for it and nearly died cuz my feet kept slipping out of them haha. Changed out into slippers immediately cuz Gim took them out and placed them outside the interview room HAHAHA. (Y) Went to Simei Starbucks so I could work on my apps while he played pokemon then Meredith came to find us! FINALLY ACCOMPLISHED SOME NONSENSE then we all went home/separate ways. Thank you Gim my brother, for accompanying me that whole day when I felt damn UGHHHHHHH and forcing me to sit down and do the stupid thing! (:

Wednesday, HAD A VERY VERY PACKED DAY. Went down to TJ to collect my referrals, met Mr Hsu on the way, talked to so many teachers, got my referrals, photocopied my docs but realised I was missing something jasdhiuahda. Watched Crystal eat her lunch, then went to Simei to sit and work on my personal statement. JayJay came to find me for awhile and we talked for abit! Then went for my very first tuition lesson with a Pri 6 student. After that went to SMU and gave Liwen donuts, met Aaron and Dylon and made our way to Clarke Quay to meet Zhijun for BAK KUT TEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hEHEHEHE dinner was damn good with themmmm ate alot until super full, then walked to Raffles City to work off some FATS haha. Sat at a random spot talking and making them do the maths problems I couldn't do, then went to Ya Kun. I was productive that day and I met many people so yay that was awesome (: Aaron and his "DID YOU COUNT THE DOORS???" hahahah omg. Stayed up that night until like 3am finishing up my personal statement and talking on Skype until my internet failed. AND REALISING THAT I HAD MORE SHIT TO DO FOR MY APPS KAHSDIUASDG.

Thurs, woke up in the morning to get my butt down to Eastpoint and take passport picture and photocopy stuff, went back home to sort out my things then fell asleep. Woke up late and met Gracie and Yiguan at Bugis half an hour late hahaha. Had dinner at Kichn with them, HAVEN'T MET THEM IN SO BLOODY LONG CAN??? Sat there for 2hrs plus talking about our future "boyfriends" that we will never meet, pubbing, work, uni, whatever. (: Can't wait for our pubbing date!! Haha.

Friday was a day of PRODUCTIVITY AND FREEDOM as I managed to submit all my supporting documents and stuff personally to the Unis. Good job Mag!!! -Pats self on back hahahahahaha. Sat at Fruits Paradise with Gim who followed me around to deliver my nonsense. We were supposed to go for dance but I felt GROSS so we just sat and talked instead. Hahaha plus got shocking news :O Then we did damn retarded things in Raffles City which shall not be mentioned cuz it makes us sound like idiots hahaha. MRT-ed home! Stayed up damn late and slept at 6am the next morning because I wanted the next day to come quick hahaha.

Saturday, WAS A FANTASTIC DAY/NIGHT!!!!! Woke up earlier than I wanted to zzzzz. Started getting ready at like 3pm and left the house at 520? Was fucking pissed off at the start but after meeting all the girliez to celebrate Charis and Nicolette's birthday at Timbre, felt alot better!!!! Food was meh, but the company made it really worthwhile! (: Took a train to meet the late Gim then... the rest of the night was fucking awesome hahahaha. Had soooooo much fun with Aaron/Dy/Jun/Lion and Gim! Plus thank you Gim for sending me home after that! (:

Sunday, had to wake up really early for training in Chinatown. Tried my first taste of cognac which was YUCKS. But we're really excited for work to start now!!! Although the funny girl we met at the interview didn't get the job sigh I would have loved to work with her she was so entertaining!! After training, went to meet CALVINNNNNN and went to Vivo to like, eat/catch up for a very short while. Then went over to his house so he could get ready to book in then went for dinner at Tung Lok! Yumyum filling dinner, then went home. I will see you soon botak boy don't look so depressed all the time. THIS COMING SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

Uh yesterday I decided to nua at home the whole day. So nothing worth mentioning.

Got called back to relief at SACPS again today so had to get up early in the morning which I'm SOOOO not used to. Was falling asleep in my classes hahahaha if you follow me on Twitter I said "It's very unprofessional to sleep in class, especially if you are the teacher" HAHAHAHA BUAY TAHAN MYSELF!!! My seat and class is taken over by a damn weird teacher now ): Lunch with Mummy then we went down to Novena for facial. Walau I have never gone for facial (which explains the terrible state of my skin), the extraction damn painful??? BUT SHIOK!!! I wanted to see all the dirt she managed to squeeze out of my face haha but I think I would have sounded damn weird if I asked. Now my skin looks damn clear I hope it lasts cuz we didn't sign up for package this was like, free trial HAHAHA CHEAPOS FOREVER. Dinner was sukiyaki YUMYUMYUMYUM damn bloated now but we haven't had it in so long!!

Tomorrow will be a good day, because I SAY IT WILL. Excited!! (: Plus I quit tutoring (after one lesson) and got Mummy to take over cuz I'm too damn lazy and irresponsible hahaha shit. I feel damn bad to my student and I keep avoiding her phone calls now. Ohwell SORRY LA!!! But Pri 6 alot of responsibility leh. The rest of this week like.. Okay not bad I am looking forward to SATURDAY because we're gonna have a BBQ!! (: Yayyyyy. Wish it was poolside but the pit wasn't available. IT SHALL BE FUNNNN. :D :D And also, work might start this Friday WHICH I'M REALLY DAMN EXCITED ABOUT!!!! Just need to find out our schedule + venue now. I hope me and Gim are working around the same area if not we look for job together FOR WHAT?? Anyway we'll be working at DFS at the airport I hope I meet interesting and nice people! :D

OK, enough words, byebye! Haaaaa ^^

I went to the window, threw my head to the sky

Shall post some pictures first before a long rambling post ahead.










I am frustrated and upset that you don't seem to trust, or give me the same amount of respect that I give to you. You are my mother but I treat you like my best friend, how many daughters tell their mothers the parts of their lives which I voluntarily share with you? Who I'm out with, introducing all my friends to you because I'm proud to be your daughter and I want you to like my friends because I like them, where I am, what time I'm coming home, what I'm doing. I do all this and with hardly any complain cuz I'm comfortable enough to tell you all this and I'm okay with it. I know you worry and you need to know such things to feel at ease. AND I'M OKAY WITH IT.

But when you start questioning my decisions again, chasing me to do things that are relevant to MY life and MY future and I DO know how important these things are, I don't need you on my case about it, I just wish that you weren't like that. Seriously. I get that University is important, it decides my fate, I face damn fucking stiff competition, I should be doing all that I can to clinch that oh so desirable spot in Law, I KNOW ALL THAT I REALLY DO. Despite my supposed nonchalance and alleged "COMPLACENCY" I know that I might not be able to get that spot, and you don't think I'm worried about that too? So stop chasing me to get things done, I will. And I will also face the consequences and take responsibility for wherever my actions/words land me.

Academic future aside, today you REALLY crossed a line by telling me "Why do you care so much about your friends when your friendship obviously means nothing to them". WOW WTF MA THOSE WORDS REALLY CUT DEEP. I'm stressed out enough as it is with thoughts about my future and where I'm going to be in a short 5 months time, and what I'm going to do with my life and whether I'm cut out for Law, whether Law wants me, whether I am good enough for it, whether I am determined enough for those grueling 4 years and I can only imagine, even tougher years ahead. My friends are important to me, and I've been content for the earlier part of this year with the people that I've been making an effort to see regularly and who have been doing the same for me. Right now, when I face some trouble and unhappiness on this front and I complain about it at home, that is really, THE LAST THING I NEED TO HEAR. I told you that these people are important to me, and despite all that I say and whine and rant about them, obviously they still mean something or I wouldn't bother. I'm not like you, however similar our appearance and hot-headed personalities, I cannot cut people out of my life because I cannot be bothered or because it's tiresome and expensive to keep up friendships. I AM WILLING TO DO IT, WILL YOU RESPECT THAT? Are you tired of being there for me? When I get ditched and you accompany me instead?

I don't know what I've done, what choices I've previously made, that warrant your worrying and judgement and critique (even as you try to hide it behind humour and a smile. That smile, like you know it all, pisses me off). We went through this at the beginning of last year, and look, I turned out fine even as you stopped me from doing Cheerleading, and nagged me incessantly about studying (in January, no less), and I was the most unmotivated lazy bum EVER. Will you trust me? That everything will be okay? That I know what to do for myself and what I want and the lengths I have to go to get it? Trust me that I have chosen and will choose the people in my life wisely, trust THEM that they won't let me down, and even if they do, be a mother and comfort me and let me get over it on my own terms. And if I choose to be their friends again, just be quiet, and accept them into my life and yours like I chose to.

Also, I am going on 19 and would LOVE the freedom to do something crazy and wild once in a while. I tell you about my plans, I tell you what I wanna do, let me do them please? Let me grow up and be independent and go out. In many aspects, I believe I've been a damn fucking obedient daughter, and I'm aware of the dangers around me, of what might and might not happen, give me the chance to try new things and be in new situations will you?

I'm worried too, do you seriously think I'm not? The reason why I've been putting off my apps and writing my personal statements and everything is because I'm SO FUCKING AFRAID of not being good enough. That I cannot do justice to my personality and how fucking bad I want this because it's all I ever wanted, in 2000 characters alone. That my distinctions aren't enough. That there are 1499 other people fighting with me and why am I so much better than them? Why am I more deserving? WHY? I can't even answer that myself. I just know I want it BUT SO DO THEY. And these other people have straight As too, and stellar portfolios that probably put mine to shame, with experience and more knowledge about Law, who are clearer about what they want than I am, who know all the right words to write and say, who have 10000000 achievements to showcase their "intellectual capability" while I have difficulty finding ONE worthy enough to write about. And my gift of gab cannot translate on to paper, I talk and talk and talk but I can't write it down without sounding like a muted, robotic, stiff, watered down version of myself.

I wouldn't usually post this here cuz it's kinda public but I just, I cannot stand it. And it's been a while since I've been less than chipper and happy now you know I'm not all sunshine and daisies and whatever (if you ever thought of me that way). I wanted to blog about what happened from last week but I don't think I'm in the mood. Maybe I'll cut and paste this post into LJ and then continue my daily life ramblings here BECAUSE YOU ALL LOVE THAT RIGHT???? Haaaa!!!!

To make this post even more depressing, read this article on Dubai because it's long but worth reading and it's haunting and the world is so warped sometimes really. And I've been in denial about Japan, avoiding reading articles, looking at pictures, watching the news because the devastation is fucking tragic and if I don't see it it's not happening. BUT I looked at pictures today and I'm upset. I'm damn bloody upset that this is happening to a beautiful city which I lost the chance to visit because of this disaster. No one deserves the terror that the Japanese are facing, of not knowing what lies ahead except that it's gonna be a damn long road to rebuild their homes lives businesses economy (which wasn't in good shape to begin with). I look at the videos and pictures and it seems so damn unreal to see waves crushing boats like they're nothing more than paper and sticks, engulfing cars like in an apocalyptic movie, roads that are split down the middle and looked as if they've been photoshopped to look warped, pavements that become slopes, fireballs, the growing and growing death toll reaching 18000 and above. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING I DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE THAT IT IS.

I'm usually not affected, or at least not enough to talk so much about it and it's unlike me. Maybe I just have a lot on my mind that every thing makes me wanna cry. But this, this should not be happening. My problems are trivial compared to what they're facing. I'm going to bed tonight with a heavy heart. I saw the pictures and videos from the links here, go check them out too. Plus the account is scary and I cannot imagine being in that position.

AND FINALLY HERE ENDS A FUCKING MISERABLE POST, GOODNIGHT!

WOW PICTURES

In no particular order, some pics!













What I've been up to since the last time I blogged (before results came out):

9-12 Feb
Taylor Swift concert (!!!!!) with Gimlim - Hahahaha we only confirmed our tix like at 545 when the concert started at 730?? Thank you sooooo much to SarahBarah and her dad omg it was a freaking emotional rollercoaster la but YAYYY WE MANAGED TO GO!!!! :D
That fateful night when Gim picked me up from driving and EVERYWHERE was like out of food so we ended up at Changi Village having htht haha. Soup Spoon with Gracie, Ling's birthday where she wanted to know what it was like to get drunk and ended up puking (awesome! HAHAHAH).

14-19 Feb
Ah Ma's wake, took out my stitches, driving practical and I now owe my instructor 12 coffees because I stalled the engine that many times hahahahaha kns, passed my BTT!, Republic Of Steak, bowling, Swensen's ice cream cake to celebrate Stuart's birthday! Wow I'm really condensing all the details hahaha.

21-27 Feb
"I DON'T WANNA WALK ANYMORE YOU COME AND FIND ME OK" hahahaha got treated like a princess hehe, Calvin the botak boy booked out!!!!!!, Aston's and dessert with Calvin, Gim, and Meredith (haha we are all siblings now!!!! ^^), Siglap lunch with Calvin and Lionel- my pseudo parents for that day as they nagged me while walking me to school haha, No Strings Attached and Skinny Pizza with Gracieeeee along with some major fail jobhunting, dyed my hair red in Msia FINALLY!!!!!, book fair with Gim.

1-4 Mar
I am No. 4 + finally looking for dance classes with Gimlim, Dinner with Meowlissa and Chenyin (this was a much much much badly needed dinner date because we haven't seen each other in SOOOOOOO long and talking to them is awesome I misssssss my 04 girlssssss), Lionel's birthday dinner- Marche, getting a Starbucks paper bag to hide the Awfully Chocolate cake and Lionel not daring to open the box haha, awesome awesome awesome super sweet Moscato, crazy driving "I WANT TO LIVEEEEEEE"- it was a good night!, Baking pink coloured heart shaped blob shaped macarons with Gracie ^^, being a nervous wreck the day of results and wanting to burst out crying ANY MOMENT, got my Instax 210 yay!!

Wow I think I'm a terrible blogger hahahahahaha wtf la but at least I have pictures!!!! and words!!!! Aaron's birthday was on Monday, went to meet him, Dylon and Gimlim for wanton mee before me and Gim left for our FIRST dance class! Haven't danced in sooooo long so it was good and the instructor was nice! Walked to get Koi (and undoing all the good that the physical workout did for us) and then sat at J.Co and rotted.

Tuesday, met Gracie to try and find Food For Thought! Hahahah we are both terrible with directions we really shouldn't try to be adventurous BUT WE FOUND IT IN THE END!!!! Ate pasta and had damn good Banana Chocolate Malteser cake yum! Talked about our futures and stufffffff which is unnerving, to say the least. There is so much to do and sign up for and I feel so lazy to start.... Walked around slightly aimlessly then lefttttttt.

Yesterday was my last day of school ): I had no teachers to relieve so I just sat there rotting and wishing I brought my camera to take pics with my favourite students sigh. Had another dance class where I met Ilisa! Also managed to meet Faye to pass her something I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT STUPID GIRL IN HOW LONG LA so angry >:[ Yesterday's dance was more technical and stuff but woah it was a damnnnnnnn good workout we were sweating and panting and our faces were red JUST FROM THE WARMUP ALONE HAHAHAHA super unfit please. Then we went to buy new water bottles and eat Carls' Jr. Heeeeeee.

Driving again later then meeting Jun and Gim for FROG LEG PORRIDGE!!!! Yayyyyyyy. (: I shall now try to be productive. BYEEEEEEEEEEEE SEE GRACE NO MORE "SKI TEAL WE DROP"!!!

Blessed

I know I haven't blogged in a ridiculously long time but, things happened and I was too busy to do sooooo. Now that A level results are out, I need to thank people!!!

From the bottom of my heart, I wanna thank Mr Seng, Miss Wong, Ms Woodford, Ms Chen, Mr Fazli, even Mr Hasim, Mr Wu, Faye, Vibzy, Calvin, Yiguan, Gracie, Chenyin, Mummy, Daddy, Uncle and Meredith. To all these people, thank you for giving me your guidance, your help, your support, your faith, your companionship, your patience, your time. I wouldn't have gotten such stellar results without all of you so a big big big thank you!!!! Also to Siglap/Parkway/Big Splash Starbucks which saw us spending most of our time and money but it was all worth it!!!

Now that results are out, there's a whole other world to conquer, university apps to complete and send in. But I now have choices, though I only really want Law, and I really hope I make good decisions. (: I'm also EXTREMELY proud of Calvin and Gracie who got straight As!!!! When Calvin told me the news I was so happy I could cry!!!! Both of you deserve every single mark and grade! And I'm also glad that most of my friends are okay with their results! (: So happy to be a TJC-ian, to be part of this batch that did so bloooody awesome. Yayyy.

Went for SMU Open house with Gracie, Yiguan and Nicolette on Saturday. After that, left to find Calvin for high tea buffet at Goodwood Park! Went down to Swissotel to celebrate Aaron's birthday!!!!

Had sooo much fun that night, playing Chubby Bunny "MISS ONG WILL NOT LOSE!!!!!!!" and managed to stuff 11 marshmallows in my mouth wth. Taking lots of silly pictures "prata kosong" "prata bomb", popping champagne with this beloved group of people to celebrate me and Calvin's results (I love you all!!!), me and Zhijun's "should we stay should we not stay", Ashton's dream movies, "SHHHHHH!!!!!", Me and Gracie's home baked macarons vs Calvin's Canele macarons (walau he buy just to fight with me one lor), "You're gonna get glitter in your stomach you're gonna become EDWARD CULLEN!!!", 3.45am Double Mcspicy run (wow), "air stewardess" and Arts(ftw) student telepathy during Charades, "Black Swan"... Aiyah too many things happened that night hahaha it was great fun!!! (: I also gained a brother that night/next morning thanks to Gimlim and his "Hi Mama". But hey, I always wanted an older brother! Hahahahaha. Next c-c-crazy night out shall be on AARON when we have our Night Of Luxury hehe ^^

Ok I'm really damn sleepy now Mummy keeps reminding me tomorrow is a school day haha. Got home at about 11plus tonight after dinner with Aaron, Dylon and Gimlim, then me and GL went for our first dance class!!!! Felt so good to dance after so long even though it wasn't really my style haha. Walked to get Koi then sat down at J. Co to talk and rot and rest and basically eat back whatever calories we burnt during dance but it's okay! We will have more lessons!!!!! (:

SHALL GO SLEEP NOW goodnight!!! Happy now Yiguan?? I blogged!!!!

Ski Teal We Drop

Ok which day did I stop??? Hahahaha went to meet Zhijun after school last Tues and met Chenyin and Yijun on the wayyy!!! OH YEAH TUES WAS THE DAY I FOUND OUT SOME TEACHERS DAMN BITCHY KNS. But anyway walked around looking at shiny sparkly stuff like damn glittery shoes can die of lust on the spot, went in search of my Chanel but cannot find the studs/necklace I want ): , went to see bags watches pretty dresses aiyah everything also see la but cannot afford hahahahaha. Then we ate MOS, talked and went to catch Burlesque!!!!! I really like the movie the songs outfits makeup shoes everything is awesome and Cam Gigandet is fuckingggggg hot omg. It was a good time out with Zhijun our next outing will be to the nails store!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehe (:

Wednesday was CNY eve, went to Commonwealth for steamboat at Daddy's side. Met the half-sister who thinks me and Meredith are monsters and CRIES every time we go near her. No joke okay I have never met a kid who hated us so much! She was sleeping so I went to like stare at her AND SHE WOKE UP AND STARTED CRYING WTF. Oh well, because we were so used to her crying anyway, decided to like "test" and keep disturbing her cuz we were immune to her crying alr. Hahahahaha. Had a bad end to that night cuz we upset Mummy.

Next day we went visitingggggg. Took a polaroid with my "once a year Godpa" and gave it to him so he won't forget me the other 364 days of the year hahha, normal visiting then went off to Ah Ma's house for BBQ!!! Hehehehe. Damn shiok we haven't had a bbq in so long the chicken wings and squid and PRAWNS were soooo good yum!!!!! Also drank some beer cuz Ling said she wanted to feel what it was like to get drunk but she abit fail cuz she drank one can then her face all red. You are a true Goh (Mummy's side) if your face doesn't turn red and there is a stash of alcohol at your house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha. Stayed there and chilled then went homeeee.

Friday, Calvin came over to bai nian and eat tomyum steamboat his like 6th steamboat for the week or something but CANNOT BEAT ME cuz I eat it everyday??? Hahahaha. And this is the 5th year in a row he come over to visit already according to Mummy!!! Wah. She remembers cuz no one else visits except him hhahaha HONOURED NOT. Eat eat eat then Mummy sent us over to his house so I could also bai nian! Tried to play Guitar Hero but the drum wasn't working properly ): So I read Archie comics then we went back down and took self timer shots hehe. Marcus sent me home and I fell asleep then woke up and drank Moscato with Mummy omg my favourite wine EVER!!!!!! And I usually hate wine but Moscato is awesome!!!! Hehehehehe.

Saturday we rotted at home then Mummy decided she wanted Gong Cha so we went out to get some. Bumped into Nicolette at Bedok Point like FINALLY I haven't seen her in so long missed you Nicorex!!!! :D Got our Gong Cha and went in search of more Moscato, Meredith says I'm mad hahahah.

Went home, changed then went back out to meet Dylon, Aaron, Malcolm and Zhijun for XIAOLONGBAOSSSSSS. We ate damn alot cuz Dy was hungry and ordered alot hahahaha. But it was yummmmmy. Walked around Ion looking at Prada, YSL, Zara, and dreaming about the things we could buy if we had lots of money hahahaha. Sigh, YSL was so pretty me and Zj were just looking at the clutches and the lady came over and laid EVERYTHING out for us and we were like um..... Not like we had the money to spare lor ): Went to Starbucks to sit and relax, then the others joined us to sit and talk and interrogate Lionel hahahaha. Spending time with them is awesome!!! They walked me to go find Meredith's stupid Pafu Pafu then we all went to take train togetherrrrr.

Left them to go home cuz Mummy didn't let me stay out later ): She came to pick me up and then complained I so stingy only buy her 2 croissants MAD ONE LEH. Meredith tried drinking that night to test herself if she was a true Goh hahaha she isn't. She freaking seh after half a glass like damn blur want to sleep alr.

Sundayyyyyy me, Meredith and Ling went to visit Laoshi's house!!!!!!! We love visiting Laoshi's house cuz we get to eat Lim Chee Guan bakkwa (which wasn't as nice as I remembered sigh), our favourite agar agar, and niangao! Plus practise our Chinese which sucks hahaha Ling said we shall visit her once a month! Sounds like a good plan since today I got scolded by Pri 5 HMT students for speaking in English during their lesson and not reading the kewen with enough emotion. FUCKING BRATS they were like "Maybe you should sit down then the student go up to teach" Wtf????? I told that girl she was being damn rude and she shut up. Now that I think back on it I feel like I should have scolded her more!!!!!!!!!!!!! Higher Chinese so big la? I REJECTED HIGHER CHINESE HOR kns I also can!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was school again with a Pri 3 class with an irritating girl and a girl who kept meowing at me haha. Mummy picked me up and dropped me of at Katong where I sat at JooJoo for like 40mins waiting for Calvin and Gimlim. Met Amanda Moey! We ate damn alot and finished off with 2 scoops of ice cream yummmm. Then we had a very exciting "safe" car ride to Beach Road to get Calvin's army stuff. A very sunburnt Lionel came to find us and we had again, a very winding car ride to find a petrol station. Made our way to Novena and sat at Starbucks in almost silence pfft. But we took some pictures! Went off with Calvin to meet his mother then uh skip the driving part went to Holland V to meet Marcus and his father for dinnnerrrrr. His last good proper meal before he enlists!!!!! Had Mexican food then went home.

I decided that I shall keep a Things I Love Today list inside my damn cute planner that Yiguan got for me hahaha. So I'm gonna type out yesterday's one because I think I had alot of moments yesterday that I liked haha. Plus this will keep me thankful for what I have and give me a reason to be happy happy everyday!!!!!! And will cheer me up from my throbbing gum where there used to be a tooth, now there is a gaping hole walau..

Having cute students who meow and speak in Cantonese to me, "Do you like green tea? We LOVE green tea"- The Pokka Green Tea fan club, hei ice cream, value for money lunch treat, "Safest driver of the CENTURY", a friendly reminder to stop drinking, "I8 YEAR OLD AND 20 YEAR OLD KILL TAYLOR SWIFT IN CAR ACCIDENT" (omg this was fucking hilarious hahahaha), post-it notes, learning the proper way to roll and eat a fajita and subsequently making Mexicans everywhere cry, not being able to cross roads without dying, sitting in my favourite car, shocking people because a TS song came on the radio and I shouted, wanting to go to Orchard Road at 10plus to stalk her hahahaha.

And things I love today, starting my TiLT list and writing in my pretty book haha, making Sarah's night by giving her a wakeup text and talking about "summer flings", megawatt smiles and puppydog eyes in exchange for free concert tickets, students asking politely "Can I help you?", students saying I'm pretty and therefore should have a boyfriend HAHA, checking my payslip and getting 2 weeks pay instead of 1 week hehe.

I realise it's kinda awkward to end like that and the paragraph seems so out of nowhere hahahaha but aiyah when I read back I will remember the moments and be happy mah!!!!! Must sleep early tonight and rest well so that I can feel much much better just in case Gimlim manages to find Taylor Swift tickets hahaha. Also, Calvin Eng gave up his identity today by enlisting!!! ): But ok la he is coming out sooner than expected! I am damn hungry now cuz I only ate a sandwich and half a pack of chicken rice today... I don't wanna go on a soft food diet leh I want Macs pleaseeeeeee ): I'm also suffering from Gracie withdrawal cuz I feel like I must meet her once a week HAHAHAHA. See you soon ok!!!! (:

Picture spam!!!

OK I am gonna upload pictures from various days and whenever but not blog ok hahahaha this blog is lacking some colourrrrrrr!

















Ok I am lazy already hahahahhaha at least got some faces right!!!!! Proper blog post later or smth... Uploading pictures on FB now after not switching on my computer for the past week haha. :D