Feeling alittle better today. I cant say I am completely healed though.

I am currently in the Emo state & how long will I take to go through this?

I am not sure.

But there are really nothing I can do now.

He sent me a ridiculous text last night.

"Cant we even chat as friends? Nth wrong right"

What does he mean by Nothing was wrong?

Everything was wrong! Nothing was right in the first place.

Nothing should have started.

I miss him. Miss his smell. The way he talked to me on the phone.

I will still look at my phone from time to time.

Hoping to receive his calls & texts.

But I know all these will never happen again.

Time seems to pass too slowly today.

No appetite to eat either, but i know I have to eat (at least alittle).

well, life goes on!

maybe he should stop calling me anymore!

i hate him!

totally confused.

Blank Out.

In a state of Shock.

& I hate myself for doing that.

Fairytales are nice, but they are not real.
TV Dramas are real scenarios that happen in reallife.
my life. everything been so smooth. No drama. Until.

My heart sank.
Breathing stopped.

My chest felt so heavy, as though someone was pressing me real hard.
I tried to breathe!
I tried to grasp for air! but nothing went in.
I hear murmurs. but I weren't listing to them.
Walking slowed down and I have no idea what is going through my mind.

Many questions which I'll never have the answer.
Questions which never meant to be answered.
why? how? what happened? is this real?
kept telling myself its not real, but everything felt so real.

The pain.

these scenes really happened! and it doesn't seems able to be rewinded to add in new scenes.
sweet memories will always be there.
but things will never be the same again.

this is the first time. First time i understand what Love songs really mean.

i like the Sun.

the feeling when the heat touches your skin.

you'll feel alive, somehow or rather!

but i like the Rain too!

it smells so nice when the rain touches the green, the kind of fragrance!

hmmmmmmm =)

& i miss my long hair. shrugs!

He's just not that into you.

its nice. a girlfriends show.

- - -

you always think that i am the evil one.

making her look bad.

is this the impression you have of me?

i seriously wonder.

- - -

met up with friends.

had really good laugh.

but, made me realised that something is missing.

the glow.

the sparks in my eyes.

the kind of life.

no longer exist.

i lost them.
---

sometimes.

and i mean, sometimes.

feels like tearing my head apart.

have a good look at my brain.

too many activities.

too much thinking and thoughts.

maybe, it should stop.

maybe.

its been quite some time.

blogging seems a norm no more.

confusing thoughts strikes my mind every now and then.

time ticks by every second, every day.

people change, feelings change, decisions change.

things which are meant to be unsaid and never to be told, happened so swiftly like wind.

feels abandoned. feels ignored.

i know you care. but what matters the most.

is the emotion you are going through.

i love him.

yes.

but i love him no more.

maybe, not as strong as before.

its okay if things doesnt happen the way i want it to be.

this is life.

i am alright, my friend.

really.

although it might take me some time to heal.

but i will be okay.

it takes time.

so, please go on.

go with the flow.

and do the right thing.

always follow your heart.

i love you, for you, being my friend.