[Getting myself away before the rest gets me; Schizophrenia]

[XOXO]

Monday, November 29, 2004

oKay, today started out to b jus a normal day n today's to do list is jUs supposed tO gO ufM radio statioN tO coLLect dis six plus singles tt i won iN oct on air....yes! i sang on de radio ok, oso not de first time wad, 2nd only...hehe!~ ya, met amY at RivervaLe Plaze cos My uncLe fetchiN mE tO dE radio statiOn bUt b4 tt, ask me to drive? No way! i dowan to drive, but i wan sum1 (aherm~ u Noe mY future boyFrien, or even husband) to drive me arnd... yeah yeah..

when we reached tt building, me n amy were like..."oh man! dis is old ah!" haha.. de place really look old pok pok ok.. went into de building, feelin so xcited....first time gg radio station le...ya, when we steppd out of de lift, we look so lost, luckily not much ppl were arnd there... n i saw sum1 in bLack sixplus tee-shirt, i thot is jus a worker of ufm..But how wrong could i be, its six PLus main singer ah wen!!! i was like "amy!!! six plus le!!! sixplus!!" after a few sec, xiao ren, another main singer, n i tink is de yandao'est in sixplus, pop up from de side..oh man! for a moment, my heart beated so fast!!! n i was actually shakin alittle.. haha!! sixplus xiao ren le!!! haha... ok, n a group of girls was there too, giving them old chang kee to eat..."huh!" rite?! i chi2 yi2 for awhile n ask amy whether shld i take a snap with him, since i had de camera... ya, so i went ahead n ask from him.. he is onLY 167cm, pretty short, but jus right for a short girl like me....haha! at least i admit tt short guy suits me k, unlike sum1..n he look kinda like shy boy type, really cute!!!!! i adore him!!!! n i shoke him hands!! hmm....i shld hug him ah..*grin* dowan la, ltr kana bash by de grp of girls there.... dunnoe whether i was so lucky or fate or izit jus a conincident tt i get to see them there... if i collected my letter a month ago to collect de prize, i wont b able to meet them...bcos of O's, tts why i called them up now n collect it today!!! oh man!!! i really saw them live.........n actually me n amy wanted to wait for them to finish their interview n request them to sign de poster tt i had won...but, aiyah, nvm la... hehe! feel so great today!!! my mom saw de photo i took with him, she said tt he look veh young, but he's already 24, same as one of my cousin.... hmm...n he's really talented, cos he can sing so well n he actually composed all of their songs....=) okok, enuff of praising xiao ren... fwahaha~ dis is really a day for me to rmb man....

n Last But not least...he's really veh cute!!!!

~ { 11:14 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Friday, November 26, 2004

bEEn sO busY dis whoLe weeK, No timE tO Log iN n uPdatE mY bLog..

20th Nov
hmm~ mY coUsin's weddiNg wAs afteRall mucH bEtteR thAn wAd i xpEcted....hEhE~ i wAsnT reaLLy a LONER there bCos mY 2 cousiNs wAs toKin tO mE whEn mY sis wEnt off... its Not tt i duN daRe tO tOk tO dE othErs, bUt iS dE AGE GAP of aLmost Like 8-9 years, of cos xcLudin my sis n cousins.......wan mE tO tok aBout Life or wad? haiz...anyway, its over...n i sAw those photos aLready....mY eyes are "still" SUPER SMALL!!! haha! yea, i tried my verh best to stretch it open, but failed...foR dE diNNer iN dE bird park...it was a pretty amusing dinner, havin flamingoes to look at u when u eat, yea! =)

21st Nov
after sat, i was muggiN my sciEnce sinCe suNday for paper1 n Monday for Bio paper2.. mY cousin is a pure sci student can, so jealous! he finished his on friday, while i still gotta mug so hard....but i din really MUG =p, i was actually haLf sLackin..hehe! cos mY mom bRought us tO jack's pLace again...woo~hoo~ aLright la de food...but still, i did study k!!

23rd Nov
n finally i FINISHED MY O'S!!!! oh rock man! however, happiNess diN seems to fiLL mE whoLe, i actually feeL emptY cos i duN hav tO studY anYmore...iM not mad k! its jus tt i haveN got over dE study mood, even though i didnt really study...*grin*

24th Nov
PSLE score is out, my cousin gotten 225....happy for him but im alittle pissed at de same time too!! so wad i got 185 n my sis 23+? tt doesnt mean tt im stupid or wad... i did dem proud durin N'level already, isnt tt enuff? havin an xtra yr of course may seems to b a waste of time for some ppl, but its bcos they nid a little more time to learn...NO Big dEaL! n me ruth jiayan denise went back sch today to take tt stooPid form to go first 3mths, so xcitin huh! oni de 3of us, cos denise wanna work...i oso wan money, but dowan to work le...*grin* can i??? =) Fwahahah~

25th Nov
went to DYE MY HAIR TODAY!!!! woohoo~ dis is jus not me man....i tink i look like an ah lian now..haha~ cos de colour is alittle too bright, but still accpetable....n my aunt actually straighten my hair a little, now i feel weird...cos de hair is so smooth....after my hair dye, accompanied my gang to shop for prom....luckily for my cousin's wedding, i'd gotten everything...xcept tt i dunnoe which to wear....CHAMPAGN TUBE DRESS?? BLACK BAREBACK? I cant make up my mine!! anyway, i chose a tube from fashion lab for yan & she look great bcos of her.....er~ [u noe wad i mean!] n amy finally chose her earing n necklace....haha~ ke2 shi4 our great royal highness princess monkey is so ma2 fan2!!!!! all de stuffs she chose doesnt suit her but she like it....to say de truth, being her friends for almost 4yrs,i still cant figure out her taste!! haiz....

ook~! iM real tired now, jus now went to my uncle's hse for dinner n bid my little baby cousin, joslyn, goodbye! b4 she go back to china on dis sat!! oh ya! my cousin's wife is actually Le yao's good frien...le yao went to my uncle's hse today n she's not pretty at all...hehe! adious~

~ { 1:17 AM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Friday, November 19, 2004

tmR iS dE dAy!!! mY cousiN's Wedding!! oH man...gottA waKe uP 5am iN dE moRning n LeavE hse bY 6!! cAn u beLievE it? ah~ n i seeMs tO STILL havIn probLem wiTh mY moRning dRess..OK! tts dE probl of bEing fAt! i adMit k...Im fat! *bLeah* buT @ Least i look Much nicer iN dE evenIng wear, though its rather simple....but simpLe bUt nIce k...*herm* hEhE! oh yeah, was uploadin de photos while writing dis now....jus all those stupid photos we took tt day n those photos i took with my dress...hehe! okok....gotta go first cos my sis wan her com back.....cya!

*for more interestin info abt tmR, stay tuned!!*

~ { 11:52 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

current song: Jay's - fan fang xiang de zhong

stephanie sun - Leave [again!!!hEhE~]

tMr is Geog n fnN paper!! ah!! thoUgh caN sAy tt i finished mY fnN, bUt iM still noT veh confidEnt... wAD if i faiL mY theoRy, wAd if dEy modeRate My pRacticaL marks..im dooM!! mY A1 gonE le...aLL dE timEs n sLeepLess Nites sPent oN mY pract will bE gone...haiz... n i Tink i studiEd toO mUch fnN, dis maKe mE veh paRticuLar whEn mY moM handLe fRuits n vEgetaBles...haha! cannot soak fruits n veg for too long, if not, vitamins will b gone...bUt mY mom like to soak dem...tRy not tO peeL fruits' skin cos most nutrients r stored right underneath de skin...if not NSP will b lost...but my mom always say lots of chemicals...aiyo!! i tiNk i had beTTa not intefer in heR cookin, if not, waR maY start...hmmm..okok!! stoP all thEse foR a momEnt...abT mY gEog, iM likE oni haLf way donE.. whY i didnT study Last week? veH simpLe ans....IM SLACKIN!!! waD eLse ritE...iM dE sLackiN qUeen le...hEhE....Tourism!! AgricuLture!!! ah!!!!

oh! n shaRon msg mE Last Nite sAyin tt shE's haVin a chaLet on 20-22nd dec....if iM not wRong, 20th is hEr & kiRby's anniversaRy le...sO weird if wE go....n i tiNk it'll bE veH funnY if mY gAng really go for dE chaLet..wE noE no1 theRe!! we shall sEE whEther tO go aNot whEn dE daY appRoach......

你没对我说再见, 所以我没有走远

等待你等得忘了时间

快乐却早已跟随着你

[孙燕姿 - Leave]

~ { 2:38 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Sunday, November 14, 2004

cuRRent sonG: Sun yAN zi - LeavE

FeeLin So tiRed Now!! ah.. mY Leg acHes too....haha! TodaY tuiTion teachEr, Karen, wEnt On a BusinESS tRip, sO nO tUitioN!! fwahahah~ SO diS moRning, waKe Up At 10, Then WenT gai gai At arnD 11 pLus Bah... Veh Long Time nV shOp Le, sO kInda shiOk! WeNt To Bugis tHere n shOp...n if iM nOt halluciNatiN, sum1 caLLed mE, bUt i didNt respOne cos nOt cfm wAd....iMaginE if No1 called u then u go "huh?"...haha! yap...Went roUnd therE tO lOok foR mY sKirt....i wAntEd a bLack Flare skiRt tt cAn matCh wiTh mY Black Top...bUt missiOn faiLed! But i Tried oN diS whitE spaghettI tOp..vEh niCe n i reallY Like it bUt didNt Buy, iTs reallY nice....haiz...

TheN Went To buGis OG to pEi2 mY Mom...so SqUezY TheRe cAn? sO manY kiDS n auNties...Piang! i nEarLy kill myseLf thEre....hAhA..TheN accompany my littLe Cousin To bUy hEr KOk koK shOes...hahA! vEH cUTe...hmmm yah...THeN wenT comPass pOint n i foUnd MY SKIRT!!!! Hahaha~ lalalal~ yaya! tHen Went To cold storagE n Buy suM groceries with mY mom, whiLe mY cousIn n auNT wenT kiddy PalacE tO buY hEr tOp....yeah! i rEally gottA admit nOwadays Kids wears r so kawAii....

whiLe On my waY tO bUy dRinks fRom 7-11, Tan Wei Xien actually shouted mY namE!! wa Biang..haha! shE everyTime likE tO paiseh mE le...n shE veH sickEnin Le...mUs LinK mE wiTh gHimKui for goodnEss nOe whY...Jus bcoS i mEt hiM tWice, oNce At GentiNg dE oTher TimeAt HouGang Mall...Piang!! so wad? i EvErydAy mEEt amY le...heheh! hmm....bUt wEixiEn is wAitiNg For ghim kUi le....duN teLL mE thEy..+whooPs+ aheRm....haha! bEtta Not saY anY More, iN cAsE dE tWo oF thEm bAsH Me Up ah....hahhaa~

~ { 5:51 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Current songs: Jay's - shi jiE mo Ri
Liang Jing Ru's - Ai Ni Bu shi Liang SAn Tian
zHOU hUi - Bu xIang Rang Ni Zhi Dao

iM so bored At homE!!ahhhhhhhh! duN reaLLy haV dE studY mooD At home, everydAy tV n fooD!! hAha! iM gEtiin fatter!!!! onE more week to go n it'll b pei yi jie's wedding (20Nov) n me n sis gotta fit into tt tube dress..hahA!! But i look fAt iN it....No choice! Peiyi jie made it jus for us, gottA squEEze mYself iNto it...haha! yeah, n there's actaully a schedule n a ppl i/c list for her wedding..there's still a reportin time n a briefin thingg...haha! its like as though its a big formal function, i mean, its like dE st John Presentation Nite tt i planned last yr...n luckily, me n sis r incharged of de reception table with de english guest list..hEhE! yeah..so xciting huh!

really dunnoe wassuP with me recently....when im left aLone n listenin to music..i'll start tiNkin of lotsa stuffs, regardless whether izit realistic or not...n....i'll feel veh sad n feel like cryin... dunnoe whether izit bcos of PMS or wad...but...yah....

n yday so sad huh...daphne left....she's 17yrs old...i tink she veh sud!! shE can actually control her tears on tv...after she go home, her tears sure burst out like no1's business ah....she's 17, same as me... i noe how she feels.. so sad for her, dreaMs kana dashed....but afterall, dreams r dreams...if u'r lucky, u get to realise them...if u'r not, then too bad la...

Ren wo Ao You veh nice can!!!! oh man!! jia Jun so cute...haha! but dE show is ending soon.... so sad.......hmmmmm...

愛要耐心等待仔細尋找感覺很重要
寧可空白了手等候一次真心的擁抱
我相信在這個世界上一定會遇到
對的人出現在眼角
[ 戴愛玲 - 對的人 ]

~ { 5:14 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Friday, November 12, 2004

hmm...prEvious paper was on moNday 8Nov n dE nExt paper is oN 17Nov!! aLmost a week oF brEak...its prEtty boRing i gotta saY, Esp whEn iM At homE!! hAiz...But i jus gottEn mYseLf a Not-so-taNN tanned...haha! whEn swiMMin with mY gAng At Meng's aunTie's condo...hmm...prEtty shioK foR mE!! sWam aBt 12 laps..pRettY hard cAn sLim down at least by alittle b4 mY cousiN's wedding....i jUs gottEn mY self a bLack dress!! i like it aLot, though its kinda simple...hehe! yeah.....

currEnt song: Jay's - hui dao gou qu

i love dis song aLot...bRings back aLot of memory wif u-noe-who...hmm.. evrytime when i listen to dis song, i feel veh................REGRETFUL! why did i ever let him go iN dE first pLace? bUt hE wAS oso dE onE whO didNt really cherish dis relatnship...if i really mean aLot tO him, hE woNt lEt mE gO dis easy....sumtimes i thot, shld i hate him or wad? -mixed feeLings-

oh yah!! Ren Wo Ao You gonna end soon...3more episodes to go....so sad!!!! n ydAy whEN De show ended,i was laughin like shit..haha! OH YES!! jia Jun catch Yilin puttin de steroids in kaixin's locker...fwahahah~ initially taught jiajun is pretty dumb cos kana sabo oso dunnoe....but i was definitely wrong....hahah!!!! lalalalalalal~

~ { 11:48 AM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Saturday, November 06, 2004

wAnna sharE DIs soNg wiTh u Guys Out tHErE...

bREAkIN dE HABiT by LinKin park
Memories consume like opening the wounds
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume I’m safe here in the room
Unless I try to start again
I don’t want to be the one
the battles always choose’
Cuz inside I realize that I’m the one confused

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this wayI know It’s not alright
So I’m breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight

Clutching my cure I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more than any choosen time before
I have no options left again
I don’t want to be the one the battles always
Cuz inside I realize that I’m the one confused

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigateAnd say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this wayI’ll never be alright
So I’m breaking the habitI’m breaking the habit tonight

I’ll paint it on the walls
Cuz I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

~ { 11:48 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

hmm..yEAH..todAy wAs dE bEst sAturdaY so far..hahha! bcoS i didNt rot At homE =)
EarLy iN dE morNin, puLLed mYself uP n WEnt foR a swIm with amY...Kinda shIok cos i swAm like 16laps, n a 8 laps continueos...veH Long tiMe nV swiM till likE siAo already.. dE last time was duRin sec1, when i's gg tO hAv mY goLd-stAr test...hmm..but while im swimmin, im like aLso iN dE war zoNe..haha~! so ManY kids arnd there! n need tO giVe wAy tO dE kid, Not DEy siaM aBit foR u Lo..wah biAng! hAha! n suM1 callEd amY an aunTie..*whooPs* Er yAp.. sAw Kah Ying tHere toO..but whEn shE smiLe tO mE, i wAs stiLL wondErin whEther is shE jus a kah-yIng look aLike..haha! n i gOttEn mYseLf a not-sO-gooD tan..whY i sAy so? bcos i got darker, not redder...hehe! okok...iM dE siAo onE K..afTer dE swiM, wEnt tO studY @ harbour fRont, didNt studY much, but yAk alOT with mY giRls..n SubwaY's iTALiAn B.M.t sandwich is suPerb!! i mean it..layers of pickles, veggie, pepperonie n turkeyHam..haha! okok.. nEXt tiMe roUnd iF i gO subway aGain, a 10-INch ItaLian B.M.T sandwich foR mE pls...kEzkezk~!

~ { 8:27 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Friday, November 05, 2004

yeah..i wrote a kinda long blog, but computer hanged...good! but i 4gotten wad i wanna wrote le...biang! haha~ erh ya...nvm..write another one..hmm...first week of exam is finally over n i feel great...ah~~ im actually feelin great? if u look at my previous few blog, all r either feelin stressed or feel like shit..haha~ im not pessimistic k..im jus erh.... nvm~ now listenin to Linkin Park - Breakin thE habit from sum1's blog..not bad huh..hehe! wanna noe whose blog? chay~ i wont say one lo..hahha~

back to my O'lvl papers....if nth goes wrong, shld b alright...wont fail those kind.. but so far, there'r sum careless mistakes here n there & sum parts of de papers left unfinished..tts all la.. ya! i sound steady rite? haha~ now steady but when de day approach to collect result.. ha ! ha! ha! see i steady anot? actually sum papers r beyond my expectation...i didnt expect it to b tt managable....many ppl might tink tt i shld b able to score...hmm.. we'll see..

altough i might say alot of those stuffs tt im not confident n all, i dun look like it at all... i actually look as if i finished all my papers n am havin a holiday! haha! i meaN it.. i was for de past days, i was either sleepin or watchin tv..but i did study at nite k.. ren wo ao you is a veh nice show.. esp toro!! fwahahaha! he look like those guys in comic... n i tink xiao qiao did her "yilin" part rather well, bcos i hate her now! she's a bit*h in de show...how can sum1 ever b so bit*hy n spoil other ppl's relatnship?......fiona xie is pretty! i like her tann.......hmm..after O's, i sure everyday go tann..haha! to make sure i look dark durin prom nite.... i tink i look better when im dark..yeah~

n my mom said i dunnoe how to identify a ppl's character...n i'll sure get cheated...
......i really dunnoe how to see meh?..........

~ { 1:32 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

oh mAn...chinEse n sociAL studiEs pAper finaLLY oveR..n i did, as xpecteD, badLy!!
feeL damN shit nOw...i'vE been muggin on sociAL studies for a Long timE n im veh prepared...but i didNt manage tO finish!! tis is worse thaN not Knowin wad tO write bcos i dO noe wad to write...if i fail humants, its not tt im not prepared..its tt i didnt manage my time well!!! how???? my B3 for humants is gone!! unLESS i score A1 for mY geog, then mayb i can help ss alittle..but A1 for geog....ha!ha!ha! dis is madness!! its impossible...
mapwork over 10...de most i can score is oni 6...how to fight wif those dragon babies!! i feel damn desperate for marks now...today once i handed in de ss paper, i was like "bye bye B3!!" those kinda shittY feelin...oh man!!! n my chinese worse!! i tink im gg to remain as B3, not movin on, but mayb deproving...ah~~~~ i feel like a failure!
my chinese hanYuPinYin actually can get 2 more marks, but my hand itchy, go add two dots for wad? im not gg to 4get how to write "zao gao" n "tiao cao" man.....haiz....
how to go jc like tt? how to beat my sis's 16points? how to bE another tOp scorer again?
how to beat my cousin with dis kinda lousy results...ah~~~ i really feel like cryin...
why last yr i must be de N'lvl 2nd top scorer~!! tt jus pressurize me even more...
all my relatives noe im de top scorer...wad if i dun do so dis yr? n wad if my cousin score betta than me? i was already despise once bcos iM in normal acad...wad if dis time i failed to achieve my goal again? im really scared to set high xpectatns, bcos im afraid tt i'll b disappointd even harder...
im really scared...............
real scared!!!
Fck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ { 1:15 PM }
;That's all for now, Magde

The Chew

If only, minds can be read;

Magdeleine Jia Min Chew

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