转眼就要大四了 马上要面对工作 未来等现实问题
看着朋友一个个拿到offer 有目标地前进时 自己就会感到非常焦躁不安
讨厌没有目标的自己
讨厌不曾为任何事情努力的自己
讨厌三心二意 只有三分钟热度的自己
更讨厌不知道到底要什么的自己
之前曾经说过 不要成为那样的大人后来发现变成那样的大人有何不好
曾经觉得自己的梦想越磨越小
后来才发现自己从来都没有努力实践过 甚至是拥有什么梦想
那些所谓高尚的话 梦想什么的 都是来掩盖自己的懒散
多恶劣
The things they tell you, they always say, "I'm doing it for you, why can't you understand?" Those were the sweet times, but now they only result in sticky situations. Sometimes it's not about the communication, the care or the concern. Words fail. Intentions go horribly wrong. Decisions lead to nowhere. At the end of the day, all you wanted was an encouraging nod and a warm smile.
It's contradicting, isn't it? When you know the right things to do, yet rejecting them in a moment of unexplained rebel. Someday down the path, you regret the unfulfilled. You could have deserved so much better, be in a better situation, and even be a better person. Yet, with all these understanding, you remain stubborn.
The unknown, you think about them all the time. They scare you. Happy moments wipe them off momentarily, but they come back, haunting you even in your deepest dreams. But are they your deepest fears?
What is right and what is not? Which is the right way and which is not? What is the right lifestyle and what is not? You push all the blames on the intangibles. They are not for you, this is not what you want, you don't deserve this, and you end up with nothing. What you don't know, is that you always have the choice. But you're blinded by all your pathetic insecurities.
The intangibles. All the arguments, the unhappiness, the fears, the insecurities; they lead to nowhere but a spiral downhill.
太多困難 會讓人害怕看未來
如果時間一直走得那麼快
我怎麼對你依賴?
嗯，就这样吧。我也会慢慢习惯的。
……有时这世间显得如此瞬息多变，又麻木不仁。而当我们牵着彼此的手，行过浑浊的城市大街，看着大树绿荫兀自生长，我心想，这一切又有什么关系，明日即便没了，这一刻人与人之间也要心无旁骛地喜悦地活……对生命来说，什么是真正的重要。我不会避重就轻地生活。也不会主次不分，因小失大地生活。
We do not find the meaning of life ourselves. We find it with another.
加油，阿曦。
突然之间压力山大，
不知道为什么。
recess week结束了。recess week就这么结束了。
这学期就这么地过去了一半。
时间，怎么走得那么快。
开学后，停滞的齿轮又开始运转了。
又一轮的deadlines开始了。
每天就是这么地上课，下课，
然后一个接一个的deadline。
今天有一个，明天有一个，后天有一个，大后天还有一个。
已经记不得今天星期几了，
只知道如果要熬到周末，就必须解决4个deadlines。
压力突然好大。
deadline总归会到来的，
而我总归会做出一个什么东西来。
过程很血腥，结果不一定好，
虽然说没有过不去的，
但我觉得自己挺不住了。
熬不过去了。
就这么地开始哭了。
一个人坐在客厅里，面对着电脑，
大半夜的，泪流不止。
时间依旧在流逝，而我还是停不住哭泣。