When i started to concern about those tiny minor stuffs, i know i am finish. It's not the starting of bliss but disaster i would like to call it. I might not know what happen around and i dont bother about it also but i do know what happened on me. When you started to bother, you are loser. The more you care, the more you lose. Yes i am a loser now. A loser who doesn't want to lose but nobody cares.
Sometimes i wish that everyone can read me. Sometimes i wish that i can have my personal space that i can hide the little of myself with me and nobody knows. Sometimes i wish that nobody cares me. I know i always hesitant. I know whats my weakness and i don't mind to let you see as well. But when you see my weakness, would you choose to protect me over it? Or you try to make me stronger and change my weakness? Or you would just leave me alone and see what i am going to do?
I don't want to be a bitch who speaks out everything about themselves and what happening around. I don't have the responsibility to explain or tell everyone what happened on me. If you care me, you would observe correctly and understand. Please bear in mind, i said observe correctly and understand. Not go simply assume things and create misunderstood. If you able to understand, i don't want to be naked anymore. I am wearing back my lovely clothes and showing my best in front of everyone now.
I am sorry i can't be the old me anymore. I need to grow up. I am forced to. I see the reality of the social. The cruel side and the dark evil side. The backstabbers are the person you forever meet. You able to back stab me because you gain my trust and sorry that you lose it now. I got no one to trust but myself. My feelings, my emotional, my responsibility. No one should care how you feel and give you their hands. It's time to be independent. Humans are alone.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
失望
完蛋了，忽然发现，原来我真的输得很惨。一直都以为我是胜利者，但这次真的是彻底的输了。没办法再输下去了，我放弃了。随便你要怎样讲，我够了。当失望胜于一切，你，也可以变的什么都不是。输了就输了，我认了。
Saturday, January 28, 2012
roar!
Yes it is possible. I have my america time to post my pictures now which summarize how my chinese new year goes on.
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| Guess whats this? =p |
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| The very expensive fried rice -.- |
To be continue..
Friday, January 27, 2012
full moon
Indescribable day. But meh! Who cares! Enjoyed my dinner the most with the best peoples in my life.
Pichas tomorrow, if possible! :D
Pichas tomorrow, if possible! :D
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
122
When i get myself prepare for a happy and wonderful year ahead, i notice that people around me isn't happy enough which indirectly ruin a bit of my mood as well. Some sick, some busy, some emo over dont know what, some mia, some silent etc etc. This cny seems like not going to be as cheers as i thought. But it's okay. I believe i have enough power to cheers the people around me. I seriously get sick of the emotional. I really wanna have a good year ahead and goes on. I need to change. So cheers dude! SMILE :) Smile for you, and smile for me as well.
teachers
Reunion dinner tomorrow. One day left before chinese new year officially comes to me. Wish all my bad lucks would gone this year and good lucks come to me. Well i believe i deserve all the good luck now after experienced all these shits and failures. Yes i deserve it. Nothing could be worse than what i experienced last year i suppose. Although the first day of 2012 isnt good; although the beginning of January was pretty suck; although my exams kinda fuck up; although all my relationship are messed; although i wasted my time at segi with no book voucher taken; although... But, meh! Its not gonna ruin my positive dreams! I would see the rainbow, i see the smile..soon! Real soon! It's going to be a good year ahead! Cheers! :)
Friday, January 20, 2012
waiting for the end
Before i get myself into the no return situation, back steps is what i need now. I don't want to see myself suffering over the same problems again. I know what hurts the most and i know how it feels like. I seriously need a better life now. Regardless worse or better, i need new people, different people. Date me like i got no date. Friend me like i have no friends. Cheers :)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
2pm
I guess its seriously time for me to have a brand new life with new people. i need to know more friends now. Not saying the old one aint good enough but it would be better if i have more others friends. Starting a life with a different kind of people only can make me grow up and see wider and larger from different side of angle. I need different kind of perspective. I need different kind of friends. No sad emotional, no pissed off. Only laughter, smile and peaceful are with me. Yes my new year resolution! :)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
rolling
I cant read myself anymore. Start to hate myself of being this way. Why am i acting this way? So bitch and so sissy. I just can't stop hate myself. Maybe i should disconnect from the world also. Hate to see myself wearing mask and fake a smile. That is not the real me. I start to miss the old me :(
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Disappointed comes out from truth and believe. Sorry for making you disappointed. I am just as bad as a jerk. Sorry and thank you for once trust me so well. Sorry for ruining the trust. I got no one to blame but myself. Thank you for the good memories. I don't expect good future anymore cause I don't deserve. Step on me like I am nothing. Discuss me like i dont know. I lose to the game. I can't hold anymore. Sorry and thank you.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
I appreciate for the people who did so many things for me. You guys know who you are. Yes i love you guys and thanks for not hiding anymore. I dont know how you would think about me after all these shits but i am dare to say that it only make my relationship towards u getting stronger and stronger. I seriously love you guys and no words can describe how i feel at this moment. Thank you for everything. And sorry for all the hurts that i made as well. Thanks for choosing forgive and forget.
Monday, January 2, 2012
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