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Saturday, March 26, 2016


Th day ii am afraid it will come has finally come.
you took away th pain ii had before and now ur returning it to mi twice.
ii dun blame u for it.
we used to be madly in love with each other.
but as our love gets stronger th more ii dun wish to lose u,
th more paranoid ii got,
th more unreasonable ii got.
you thot ii wasnt th same as before,
but wad ii can promise is ii nvr once nvr got hurt wen ii do those hurtful tins to u.
all you did was remain silence.
how would ii know how u feel?
did u gave mi a chance to change.
we were all fine dat week,
den u jus disappeared.
anger first comes to mi,
den ii got worried,
ii got scared.
nvr did ii noe u will jus drop a bomb on mi.
u told mi to give you time to think abt it,
ii agreed,
but,
do you noe when u nit time to think ii am suffering inside?
waiting for things to return to whr it was.
as ii cried and beg u not to leave,
u didnt turn back,
ii jus laid dere cried and watch u leave.
ii nvr felt such pain before other den my love ones leaving mi.
yes ii am jealous of every single tin,
but ii swear ii nvr been jealous of ur sister before,
how could u guys accused mi lyk tis infront of my mum?
telling mi ur sick of doing small lil tins for mi,
taking water or towels for mi.
u do those tins out of love,
not a burden.
love is not measured by whether u do or do not do tins for others,
its about whether ur willing or not.
when u finally enrolled into degree.
ii supported u.
ii asked u to go for it since u got dat interest.
ii noe its hard to work and had to go to sch at th same time.
whenever ii can knock off early ii will buy u dinner bcos ii am afraid u cant get to eat cos u got no time before classes.
ii hate walking in th hot sun,
perspiration,
but ii noe buying dinner is more impt for u.
when u dun do well for ur exams.
ii brought u out,
to eat brownie and ice cream,
bcos ii like th way u smile when ur eating dessert.
seeing u happy makes mi happy.
at work ii always looked out for u too.
how about mi doin all those tins to u,
ii dun feel burdened bcos ii gladly did it for u.
u said u sacrificed alot for mi,
letting mi do tins th way ii wan,
but did ii asked u?
ii asked u all u did was jus let mi have my own way.
u dun voice out wads unhappy and wads ur opinion.
how about th sacrifices ii made?
ii dun make a big fuss at ii did tis or dat more for u.
dat day when ii was mad at u,
ii ran away,
it was past midnight,
u didnt even give chase.
ii was so scare,
afraid being alone and th darkness,
ii waited for u to come but u didnt.
at dat point of time,
ii felt ii am not important at all alrdy,
ii wanted to leave,
u didnt let me to.
why is it now when ii cant do without u,
and u wan to leave mi.
u didnt give mi a chance to change,
u charged mi with th death penalty.
what did ii do to deserved these?
ii am not a necessity,
u used mi when u nit mi,
u put mi aside when u dunnit mi.
u cant jus leave lyk dat if u say u wanna leave,
tis relationship is not abt u,
its abt us.
its not up to u to make th decision,
you haf to respect mine too.

ii jus wish all these are jus nightmares and ii can wake up from it soon.
ii really dun wanna lose you.
ii miss those happy times we had tgt.
pls come back to me soon.




Saturday, February 21, 2015


sucks to be in th condition ii am in now.
stupid problems makes mi even more sensitive den ii used to be.
how ppl look at mi.
how ppl words affect mi.
how their actions affect mi.
it slowly became a stressing factor on mi.
why do ii haf to go thru so much hiding and make myself suffer is all bcos ii hate ppl commenting abt mi.
call mi over sensitive or wad.
but ur not in my shoes u wun noe hw ii feel.
its all bcos of my stupid skin condition which got worse.
recalling back in sec sch when ii did my part time job after exams.
well it was jus onli over my arms dat time.
one auntie actually commented dat why is my skin liddat, it looks lyk a monster.
had mi running to th toilet crying though.
kept it to myself long enuff until ii confide to one of my closest fren.
dun underestimate ppl with such skin conditions.
u will nvr noe how much it hurts them to swallow their damn bloody pride,
pretending nth happen while listening to u commenting abt it.
so now after joining th workforce.
it became worst.
it flare up lyk nobody's business.
its all over my legs and arms.
ii haf to fcuking wear long pants and shirt to hide myself.
goin thru tis stupid hot weather here is also no joke.
walking on th streets admiring ppl wearing all those nice clothes.
ii used to love swimming and visiting those water theme parks.
but when now my frens came asking mi to join them.
i jus coulden go.
it hurt mi emotionally and physically quite bad.
it jus cant be cure.
ii wish ii could wear shorts and t-shirt.
ii noe ii haf a understanding bf dat dun mind wad problems ii haf.
sumtimes ii could be over demanding in th relationship.
sumtimes ii jus need a lil more attention.
sumtimes ii jus wish he could be more sensitive towards my feelings.
ii noe with all these flaws of mine ii shoulden be asking too much.
he can get a btr looking one den mi.
its not abt accepting who ii am.
its abt how we put in effort in th r/s to make it btr.
ii hate it when its always mi who give in first.
is ur pride or our r/s more impt?









Saturday, October 25, 2014


back to tis tiny lil private space ii haf.
somewhr ii can let out my thots cos keeping it in is so difficult.
ii hate th feeling ii am feeling now.
th feeling whr getting ur hopes crushed,
being in th wrong when ur nt and made guilty in th end.
ii felt so hopeless in th situation ii am in now,
is it rite to give in?
shld ii reconsider th situation?
shld ii ignore totally?
or shld ii give up everytin...



Sunday, July 27, 2014


got th mood to post agn!
been dere and back frm bangkok trip wif my bf and his frens.
it was awesome.
was my first time travelling so far wif my bf.
dey said travelling reveals some of ur personal traits u dun usually show when ur tgt,
its either ur r/s gets btr or worse.
and well of cos its for th btr!
our love grew so much dat ii haf a hard time slping alone back in sg.
all those cuddles and kisses at nite.
even though we're jus half a year tgt,
ii can really tell he is th one.
ii haf nvr love someone so much before.
it jus felt so rite.
ii will nvr wanna lose him.
every new day is lyk falling in love wif him for th first time.
its also very difficult to stay angry at him for long,
th face dat sets u worried dat he might be too heart broken,
you really cant bear to see him do dat.
nvr a guy who is so sry to mi dat he went to th extent of dropping down his pride,
kneeling down for mi to forgive.
and ii felt so remorseful after dat,
ii felt dat ii am a bad person to such extent.
and den onwards ii promise myself to be as lovin as possible during our r/s.
not to be angry at each other for nth.
learn to sit down and talk tins out.
and so far we are behavin lyk ideal cpls.
which ii hope it keeps goin.
nvr gonna find someone lyk him agn.
ii will hold him tight,
make him small enuff to carry in my pocket.

my dearest silly boy. x3



Sunday, July 6, 2014


been so long since ii last step into tis blog,
ii am back into tis own world of mine whr ii can almost rant out anitin.
though ii am back a more matured person,
ii am still my emo self.
cancerian, izzit really th most emotional horoscope?
oh well, at least ii achieved my goals halfway by looking btr now.
almost lost 15 so far, and gonna lose somemore.
:)
those who dun deserve mi shall not see mi when ii am best.
but of cos it for th revenge of th lost for those nt staying wif mi,
but its th feeling of someone ii finally love so much leaving mi agn.
i hate separation.
i hate being alone.
in less den a yr my grandpa in thailand left mi and my grandma in sg left mi too.
losing two of my close ones so near tgt is so saddening.
was thankful for God dat we got back to Thailand in time to acc him for a few days.
few days before flying was so fucked up,
r/s, th airline and work screwed mi up tgt.
finally broke down after doin my final case at work.
damn dat fking dr to do th case for more den 2 hrs.
haf to lyk cab down to th airlines to setter th flights.
nearly coulden get my flight back to Thailand,
if it really happens ii will sure go back to work and strangle her to death.
no one will understand how excruciating th pain is of goin to lose someone dear to u until he/she exp it.
hais.
not long after th death of my grandpa,
ii broke up wif someone whom ii really lasted for th longest time ever.
3 yrs of r/s,
ii finally coulden take it and left him.
its so heart aching, dat ii cry every single nite,
those memories spent wif him jus flashes thru before mi.
he dun even feel th pain, he dun even wanna try to hold mi back.
so ii totally gave up, all those time wasted on him.
den came a new guy at work,
who seems invisible to mi at work,
when we first talk, lyk hey u r my senior at sch and got a few mutual frens,
bt as th chat goes my break is finishing, he kept toking lyk ii dunnit to go back to work.
so yea, kinda irritating..
as days pass finally accepted him as my colleague.
so one fine day he 'jio' mi to smoke his lao hong ciggy after work,
it was really damn lao hong till we decided to kup money and share a pack.
so after smoking we kinda went to cold stone for ice cream.
dat was probably our first impromptu date.
shared a cup tgt and ii will nvr forget ii drip my ice cream on my fone.
its so embarrassing bt we exchanged our numbers in th end.
txted him every day and nite, we jus chat everytin under th sun and stars.
feelings finally grew and we started to show affection for each other.
th first time we held hands and make out secretly even before we r tgt,
its lyk a adrenaline rush dat ii nvr felt for so long.
and th feeling is still felt everytime ii thot of it.
finally we got tgt, but ii was a really bad gf,
ii coulden stop thinking abt my ex too.
bt my bf is so nice, he understands mi and told mi wadeva happens,
he will be dere for mi.
dat was really th first time ii ever felt so loved.
time flies and we r nearly tgt for half a yr now.
he has always been dere during my difficult times.
when my ah ma passed away nt long ago,
he comes and visits mi everyday after work too despite being so tired.
he is th one ii been looking for,
th one ii wanna be wif in future,
ii will work hard to kip th love goin.


ii love u my baby boy.. 
x3



Monday, May 23, 2011

Elaine


Dear Elaine,

Ok. Updated blog.

Yours Sincerely,
Michelle
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!



Saturday, May 7, 2011

Post test


Testin to post from my bb.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!



Monday, April 11, 2011


oh gre8!
ii blew-ed it!
gave cold shoulders to my manager.
tsk.
jus when he is goin to leave any time we actually have some dispute.
win liaos lor...
wad am ii doin lyk seriously~~~~
*bang wall*
hais..
wadeva. tml class chalet till thurs.
hope can have fun till 4get all th troubles.
it will be denise's bdea too.
bet th class gort some gruesome ideas up their sleeves.
jus when ii wanna be single gt ppl ask miie to be tgt wibb them.
lyk seriously when ii lonely dun wanna ask.
when ii gort pact den come ask.
nbccb.
wadeva laa..
ii dun wan anymore short short r/s.
so tis time ii have to choose carefully.
hmmmm.
sian laa.
so many probs...
anyway looking forward to tml~~~
TATA~



Friday, March 25, 2011


arh choo~
tis blog so dusty liaos.
hahas.
nobody reads it aniwea.
jus my personal online diary...
its been a week since attachment ended.
very interestin postin indeed.
it will be nice if ii can go back dere for geron p0sting.
ii miss all th folks dere~
hahas.
awww~!
one sad tin is happening soon.
both my manager and assistant manager are transferring to vivo~~
TT
so SAD
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a manager whom ii treat lyk an older brother.
who always lend miie a listening ear and give miie advice,
who fetch miie home when ii have to go home alone,
who is always nort angry at miie whenever ii play a prank on him.
who always cheer miie up at work..
den..
a assistant manager whom ii treat lyk a godmother.
who always nag at th "kids" for our own good,
who always make sure we go for our breaks,
who always openly lend money to us when th poor students are broke,
who always care for us lyk a mother,
ii will miss th both of euu..
:(
ii dun think th new manager will ever replace euu guys..
ii make sure when ii am free,
cfm will organise wibb th gang to go out and have dinner tgt.
been sick for many zillion days...
hope ii get well soon.
hahas.
cos th antibiotics veh lii de smelly.
=XX
tata~~



Monday, January 17, 2011


一边听，一边眼泪就不知不觉地掉。

你為什麼說謊
-丁噹-




Sunday, January 16, 2011


tsk. at tis time ii sh0uld be d0in my pr0jects and studying f0r tests.
but ii am s0 em0ti0nally d0wn n0w..
hard t0 c0ncentrate!!
argh!
guess t0o stressed up ler.
my migraines are c0ming up at miie agn..
taking panadols everyday is n0rt g0nna help.
ii might end up wibb liver failure.
D:
haiss...
should ii quit my j0b?
been getting harder t0 c0ncentrate at studies.
but if ii quit means zer0 inc0me f0r miie..
rawr!!!
why am ii always in a dilema!!??
TT
and th same tin over and over agn!!
r/s! r/s! R/S!!!
lazy t0k abt it ler.
h0pefully ii will l0ok better b4 my bdea!
n0rt h0pe but ii must.
sicked 0f being judge by l0oks!
euu guys are g0in d0wn!
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!



Thursday, December 9, 2010


so l0ng l0ng l0ng n0 p0st lia0s.
well...
t0o busy em0-ing.
:X
aniwea xmas is c0min!
but hais. s0mehw it feels l0nely.
wadeva.
Michelle: "michelle lim! euu swear euu will be SINGLE til ur nxt bdea!"
s0 yadda yadda.
christians cant swear s0 when dey d0, dey are dead seri0us.
nyaa haa.
:X
r/s tingy has make g0in kuku many times.
s0 shall relax f0r a m0ment but hais..
*(p.s. its kinda l0nely.. any les?)
my mummy b0ught miie xmas present ytd!!! weeee~~
she b0ught an necklace frm SK f0r miie
and a pair 0f high cut c0nverse sh0es.
nyaa haa!
ii l0ve my m0mmy m0st when she buy gift.
(p.s. l0ve her m0re when she is nice and calm but still love her if she nasty. ;X)
ii lyk th necklace lots lots.
:XX
w0re it t0 sch t0day~~
t0king abt sch.
rawr~~~
s0 many ICAs.........................
-.-
dunn0 can c0pe 0r n0rt.
am trying n0t ganna b0ther t0o much abt it ler c0s ii am nt leader anym0re~~
lalalala~
am alrdy fcuked up wibb my 0wn life and ii d0 n0rt wish it t0 be fcuked at sch als0 s0 pls ii pray t0 G0d jus dun let them b0ther me~~
TT
anyway ii bl0ck th wh0le 0f my fb t0o.
jus wanna refrain myself frm g0in dere and check 0ut 0ther stuffs.
its true dat every0ne will still actually 'secretly' stalk their ex-es pr0file laa.
HUMAN NATURE WAD!
....
-.-
but s0mehw n0rt every0ne will able t0 take it sumtimes when euu see 0ther tins happening...
and 0ne 0f them is miie.
s0 fcuking pissed and upset till eventually ii br0ke d0wn and cry..
:(
when euu see ur ex g0rt attached wibb s0me 0ther gals,
cfm plus gurantee ch0p and wibb president's signature s0mehw it will still affect ur m0od 0ne l0r.
unless ur heart is make 0f diam0nd.
s0 s0mehw s0mewhr ii stalked 0ne 0f my ex in fb,
finally see him change f0to wibb his gf.
*(he was my l0ngest ex)
dey t0ok it at uni studio.
ii was thinking back when we were tgt.
he was n0rt even half as nice as he is t0 miie den his current gf.
d0es seri0usly ugly gals = bad treatment?
ugly gals = substitute?
0h gawd!
seri0usly if G0d 0ur heavenly Father were t0 dr0p 1 billi0n bucks d0wn 0n my head.
ii dun gibb a damn dat it hit my head and gibb miie a 'ba lu ku' 0r wadeva.
ii fcuking will g0 plastic surgery, make a drastic change and hunt d0wn euu guys.
make euu my slave, make euu l0ve miie m0re den euu w0uld t0 any0ne.
when it time f0r sex and euu are h0rneh~~
getting int0 th sh0wer while ii 'get rdy'
......
NYAAA HAAAAA!
ii cfm run away make ur 'birdie' itch til euu stratch it bleed
and in th end euu die bc0s euu l0se t0o much bl0od.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*(if 0nli dat w0rks -.-)
n0w dere is n0 0ne dere f0r miie t0 w0rk hard 0n wad ii want
*(GET FIT~!)
but maybe n0w dere really is..
t0 make sure euu guys regret it.
haha.
but nahhh.. why shld ii waste my eff0rt.
g0 hunt better guy is even much better.
s0 yea.
first step ii wan t0 train my arm muscle?
ii lyk men wibb sexy arms..
hahas!
shld ii get 0ne myself in case ii cant get a men s0 s0on..?
anyway ii wanna l0se it 0verall.
s0 michelle lim ah siao!
euu can d0 it!!
*winkz*
*(0mg~~ its my first time c0nfessin 0penly abt tis idea)
waaaaaaa~~~!!!
TT

men watch 0ut ii might have a sexier abs den euu d0..
xD
M!tch



Sunday, October 17, 2010


dreads it when sch reopen is meant for u to g0 back sch,
BUT instead u are g0in f0r attachment.
D:
hais..
losin motivati0n in life agn.
tsktsk.
when tins are in favour for me,
ii dun give a damn.
den after ii started to take interest in it,
it die on me.
hais...
fml.
well ii guess..
life SUCKS!

ii care. pls let me care for u lyk a fren can?
M!tch



Friday, October 8, 2010


ii am getting very unhappy in life lately.
th 0nli place whr ii can be myself which is at w0rk has n0w turn int0 hell.
ii think its kinda inappr0priate f0r a much 0lder pers0n,
7-8 years older den miie t0 quarrel wibb a 19 yr old gal lyk me over a small tin.
for goodness sake we have been working for goin 2 years alrdy.
if u haven noe me by now, sad to say u take tins too seriously ii guess.
for th whole time while ii am w0rking ii am always jking ard wibb ppl,
nort onli u, my family my frens, ii j0ke wibb them t0o.
and yes my j0kes sumtimes is abit t0o much,
and dats my nature, bc0s ii hate ppl being a lil m0re perfect den me.
but ii still apologies and try to be less of a hurting ppl feeling.
ii seek attention since ii do not have qualities.
and yes ii spits vulgarities and dats how ii used to tok anyway.
and since when ii always pick on u,
at work ii joke wibb every0ne wad.
if u think ii am always picking on u,
think abt urself, didnt u always do dat to me too?
ii noe ii have lotsa meat, u pinch me sibei shiok.
but come on, still got feeling one okay.
ii bad m0od u c0me kajiao miie,
did ii pissed at u?
no.
when my mood gets better,
ii even went back to u lata and explain dat ii am havin bad m0od jus now and ii didnt mean to ignore u.
and abt th incident, my colleague was also beside me at th point of time.
even she can sense dat ii am jking.
th incident actually goes lyk tis.
(morning shift) my colleague: S
(afternoon shift) my colleague: H
th promoter whom is displease at me: A
A approaches S to borrow her Staff Card.
bcos A is buying sumtin which could actually earn 200 pts for th card.
200 pts is also equivalent to 15 bucks.
so A was asking S whether is she could give her th 200 pts.
bc0s S dunn0 wad A is trying to say, S gave a blur face.
So ii jus jking ard wibb S saying today we didnt manage to sell any member card.
dunnit gibb her dat 200 la, ask her buy la and ii even giggled tgt wibb S.
and truely enuff we seriously sound lyk we are onli jking.
den A walked away.
S and i dun even noe A is angry.
after S finished her shift.
i pop by A counter and ask her how was her sales.
but A told me she is angry at me and dun wish to tok to me.
bc0s ii didnt noe she is angry at all so ii follow her ard saying sry, dun liddat la ii didnt n0e u r angry.
she pissed at me telling me not to follow her.
Fine!
ii walked away lor.
sooner or lata ii thot her anger will ease anyway.
so ii went to do my tins jus next to th cashier.
bcos H was at th cashier, A went to stand dere also.
since both of them are frm china dey clicked very well.
so ii overheard A reenact wad happen to H.
and ii was jus beside them onli.
have she thot of my feelings or nort,
ii can hear them one la.
den agn she went to reenact to th supervisor in th office.
ii of cos got a lil unhappy so ii went to approached her asking her why she have to reenact to everyone when tis is onli btw us two.
den blah blah blah. ii onli rmb her saying wad 15 bucks to her is nth at all.
she gort tons of them.
saying me dat ii always nbr promote her item,
y ii always pick on her,
and y didnt ii open my mouth at dat pt of time when th card is even nt mine.
firstly, my family is poor.
ii onli have a mum whom is working very hard to bring her 2 kids up.
my bro spend money lyk water.
while ii myself here working part-time to ease her burden.
and u telling me straight in my face 15 bucks is nth to u.
and u got tons of them, gibb them to me or donate it then.
cos it meant alot to me.
dun pissed at a much younger and poorer background gal den u dude.
it makes u look uncivilised and retard doin these.
Secondly, promote ur stuffs huh.
didnt ii always give euu sales?
calling u when u are not at work whether uu have these and dat products cos customers are looking for them.
asking u one by one wad th customer need and still have to explain to them.
u ask urself.
how many staffs have done dat and call u more den ii do.
ii jus didnt promote ur slimming products while ii promote others den u say ii didnt promote ur stuffs.
ii dun wish to cheat my customer feeling saying urs is very g0od.
c0s ii n0e 0ther products works better den urs.
my fren have tried urs and it didnt work for her.
and if ii lie to my customer, they will complain abt me and nt u.
and hello!? are u th promoter or ii am!?
they hire u for us to do ur job izzit?
ur sales ur salary we get huh.
and yes u do give us small treats ocassionally to rarely.
but ur pay much more higher den mine.
and u live alone by urself onli.
since u can claim 15 bucks is nth to euu,
why bother to argue wibb miie abt tis pt?
abt th picking part ii had alrdy explained earlier on.
so lastly, opening my mouth earlier is too much poking into ur business izzit.
den why in th first place always ask miie to send mass msg to ur customers and even eng msg to ur frens and etc.
u can ask anyone to do it wad.
why onli ask me, and u didnt even say ii am mindin ur business abit too much.
so back to th point of msging ur customers,
nt helping u to increase ur sales mehs?
why shld ii even bother to do all these in th first place.

so now why shld ii reenact th whole situation agn lyk her.
c0s ii am n0t happie abt it and wish to vent my anger.
blog and facebook is whr ii pour my feelings to,
if u wanna take dat away from me also.
let be modest and humble enuff to hire 10 blangalas to RAPE u!
Finally, ii want to say sry and fuck u.
:)

a independent gal who dunnit another duplicate "fren" lyk her in my life.
M!tch



Tuesday, September 28, 2010


mentally, physically, em0ti0nally exhausted.

what is urs will be urs?
0r fight f0r wad is urs?
which 0ne is th right tin t0 d0 xia..
tsk2.
leave it t0 fate 0r fight f0r ur happiness?
l0ve cann0rt be f0rce?
0r l0ve can be cultured?
dere are always 0ther tins in life dat 0pp0se t0 th 0ther..
s0 wad shld we d0?
if euu are stuck 0n a path with left and right directi0ns,
which way are euu g0in?
the left 0ne whr dere is nth rite?
0r the right 0ne whr dere is nth left?
c0mplicated huh?
ii am t0o.

pretending t0 be fine.
M!tch