Quotable Quotes

Will reader's digest sue me for this?
that ought to get me some publicity. maybe this blog will generate muchos hits that way too.

Anywayyyy...
this post is dedicated to the memory of people in my life who have made some very memorable quotes that I am afraid will just fade away with time.
But they shouldn't.
They should be immortalized because they're either funny or extremely stupid.

"Cream of the Crap" - AU (bad trend using ppl's initials to avoid names)
"Ca-da-bur-ree" (Cadbury) - AU
"You just got jizzed on" - PM, AU
"Nigga!" - AU
"Fack off" - DB (initials? not really sure)
"I'm the first white malaysian" - EK
"No, she's we-ning" - AS
"I have a cunning plan" - OTS
"I'm so full of shit" - HEG
"Stop singing" - AS
"...free range eggs" "Who cares?" - OTS
"your mama explode" - ASS (not kidding)


There's probably more. I know there is.
Can't really think of more now anyway. Just drop a comment off if you remember one that's funny or extremely memorable.
Just cos'.

Rambling no.46

Nigger!! - is so not derogatory anymore.

I mean, probably back then, when all that shit happened between the black and the whites, it was used as an insult and to demean their race.

But today, it's a term that has found a home in modern culture.
In fact, from what I know about it

(which isn't a lot considering i'm ignorant, so forgive me for those of you who take offense. but why do i still mention it? because its in my head and i feel a need to put it down on a "written" format so i don't verbally voice it out at an inappropriate moment),

nigger/nigga, when i use it is usually to exclaim surprise or to acknowledge when somebody has done something suprising. don't think i've ever used in on a friend before, eg. you're my nigga. guess it just sounds wrong cos i ain't black.

but one thing in all seriousness though. this word may have been used primarily as insults for the race of darker skinned people some time ago (short, long, my history sucks), but now its mostly (mostly, but i do acknowledge, not all the time) used as a term of respect or endearment towards a friend.
also, i find africans/african american (notice how i use politically correct terms now) tres cool for their (perhaps, maybe even unfairly, socially stereotyped) ability to dance, play sports, rap, make baggy clothes look cool, wear bling nicely and (although i know nothing about it), their culture.

this is just me actually having some verbal dierrhea right now. better on the internet with many "open bracket", "close bracket" than in real life where those don't happen often in everyday conversation.

oh btw, for the curious, go to www.urbandictionary.com .

Ramblings no. 667

when you say,
"i don't know how to drink"
or,
"i don't know how to eat"
in response to when people ask you to eat or drink something,

you sound retarded.

if you hear these words coming out of your mouth, they don't sound so bad.
but if you listen or actually read them carefully,
do you realize, how stupid they sound?

read carefully. with your knowledge of english, tell me now, what does that sound like?

to me, just an observation, you know,
it sounds to me its as if
for "i don't know how to eat", you don't know how to put edible objects into your mouth and chew on them until they are small enough to swallow.
and for "i don't know how to drink", you don't know how to put drinkable liquids into your mouth and swallow them without choking/drowning yourself half to death.

maybe this is the way you're used to saying it.
maybe its because you don't know how to say "i don't eat this" or " i don't drink this" (if you don't, now you do).
all i know is, i write this now, so that if you see me smiling and making the same old same old joke about it, at least now, you know why.



oh btw, if you decide to blast me for laughing at your shortcomings or pointing them out to the rest of the world, consider carefully that this exposes you as
1) a person who can't speak english properly
2) is unwilling to learn (tsk tsk, a bad attitude indeed) when someone, eg I, tries to correct you

I'm not perfect, but I am willing to learn. And if I do make mistakes, i'll admit them and try my best to correct them. So adopt this attitude, see the humour in life and much peace adn (intentionally misspelled to let you know i'm human) love to y'all.

Thought no. 901

while i was talking to a good ole' friend of mine (whom i haven't seen for 2 years now), we'll call him Mr. CTKS, he mentioned a phrase that got me thinking.

the phrase being "kick the bucket"

i know it means death (if you didn't, now you do).

BUT!! how did kicking an inanimate object whose main purpose is to hold liquid,
become associated with death?

I mean, was like a "kick to the nuts" rightfully describes pain to the threshold of death. but the bucket? ~.-?

What happens when you kick an actual bucket in real life might help describe this analogy. You kick a bucket, it topples over, thus spilling out some liquid (if it holds any) and you may get a crack on it.

Nope. No connection with death...at least none that I can see.

My only explanation for this symbolism, is that back in the day, some douche on a ventilator decided to kick a metal bucket that ricocheted off another object hitting his ventilator causing him to die.
Hence, you know, he kicked the bucket.

My Mother

If you think some people can be frustrating,
please, hear about mine first.

This list is for me to vent out some pent up frustrations,
and hopefully aleviate your own sufferance about another person.

Allow me to list what I...dislike about....

TA-DA-DA-DA!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
MY MOTHER! (20 points for you who guessed before reading that)

1. Never admitting she is wrong
(Never may be a strong word, but I have NEVER [seriously NEVER] heard her utter a word of apology or "I am wrong" to me nor my family members before)
eg. I broke a plate, I'm wrong. She drops something, its the fault of the object, the floor, a horoscope or whatever happened to be affecting her at some point. As long as it wasn't her per se (even when it really is her fault when she's clumsy)

2. Not listen to people. Period.
eg. My dad giving her advice on her golf swing. Me giving her advice to pursue a scholarship to England instead of Australia (she almost lost both due to her inability to decide)

2.5. Her inability to decide.

3. Her thirst for revenge on her enemies and justifying it morally anyway.
(For those of you out there, Revenge is WRONG! it is EVIL! it is not something that you can justify doing to anyone whatsoever. AND even if you do fulfill it, all it starts is a new cycle of hatred and revenge. So there!)
eg. in her own words, "I go to church...so that I can pray that something bad happens to those who have wronged me"

4. Her stinginess.
eg. not opening the gate fully so that electricity won't be wasted, using laundry water (the dirty stuff) to "wash" the driveway and sometimes her car.

5. Her lack of an ability to make friends with people who do not share the same opinion as her.
eg. everyone of my friends, my brother's friends and my father's friends.

6. Her love of embarassing other people (mostly me).
eg. Liking to repeat stories I'd rather reserve for those more intimate to me or those I'm close to.

7. Her unreasonableness.
eg. why would you want a large house when there are only going to be 2 (or 3) people staying in it?

8. Her Stubborness.
eg. see no.1

9. Her inability to throw anything away.
eg. there are about 9 stacks of her files in my house. And she complains about the lack of space.

10. Her endless list of complaints.
eg. I want a bigger house (but I refuse to pay a dime for it), why are there so many mosquitoes? (because of the big ass tree behind our house), our garden not as nice as other ppl's (even though I put a minimalistic amount of effort and finance into it)

11. She really...really, really cant stop talking.
eg. eating, watching tv, reading. Sleeping as an exception. And she talks about the most nonsensical things that I can't mention here as part of her privacy.

12. Her inability to compromise
eg. I offer her a win-win compromise, she offers the she win I lose (everytime).

13. Her Pride (sometimes at not doing anything)
eg. "Wow, your mangoes very sweet ah aunty"
"Yeah, the tree grow by itself wan. I never water, never take care of it"
Me: "Yeap. Just like me"

14. Her cowardice
eg. She boasts to me that she did this, did that, said this, said that to people who made her angry
and when I ask, "did you actually say that to their faces?"
the answer, everytime, a big fat "No, but I was thinking it..."
=.=|||
and I don't think she's ever stood up to me when I scold her. She does slink away and make some excuses tho. =).

Thought no 499

where did the term "the birds and the bees" come from?

how the hell did you associate birds and bees with sex?

i mean, i've never seen them mate and i dont understand the correlation...

Rambling no 467

Kleber should be a word.

Kleber - cleverness used in an inappropriate way, mostly in humour.

Y should be a vowel.

Y not?

Thought no. 261

does anybody else wonder what Sean Paul is trying to say sometimes in his songs?

well...imagine if one day sean paul decided to communicate from the dead.

and his medium is like rapping out some reggae verses.

who the hell would have understood what he was saying?