OMG
IT'S BEEN AGESSSS HAHAHAHHAHAA



cool. but i'm so not used to the huge font in blogger. shld i change back to blogger?
my lj's been giving me problems. ahha
and i jsut realised that my tagboard. is kinda. down. hahaha
okays. so anyway. Os are overrr! and yes, i should be happy. but i'm not. i wonder why.
its giving me too much time to think.
it's like everyone around me's so caught up with their own lives. and me?
i'm just looking aimlessly for a goal, a route that's safe to tread on.
but everywhere I look, it's either a dead end, or a road paved with glass pieces, just waiting for me to step on, so i'll bleed to death.

recently, I've been having re-occuring dreams. dreams that are really terrifying. which is why, I've decided to do what I have done. although I HATE TYPING EMAILS. rawr.
anyway, at least the hard part's over(:

and i suddenly dont feel like blogging anymore.
just
that
I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT MY NEW SHADES
<3
HAHAHAHHAAH
I LVOE THEM TO BITTTSSS
OH AND I'M SO SAD.



I MISSED KANGJIHWAN WHEN HE CAME TO SINGAPORE ON 29TH OCT! SHUCKKKKSSSSS! ):

my fave korean actor okay! sigh. i'm so sad. MY JIHWAANNNNN! ):

just here to post my new url.

MOVED.


lydidi-loves.livejournal.com

no 'www'

sometimes, i look back at my life to see what i have done so far, and i laugh.
other times, i look back at my life to see what i have done so far, and i cry.



im gonna take a hiatus from blogging till the Os end. hopefully, i'll be able to keep up with that.

anyways, on to today. i'm in such weird moods, i dont even know which one i'm in anymore o.O
let's start with the first mood i had.
i was really happy when i woke up. then i went to church, and did warm ups with rest of SEEDs.
still pretty alright.
TILL I WENT TO THE TOILET AND GOT SUCH A HORRIBLE SHOCK.
i shall not elaborate further on the shock, but it was quite shocking. (sounds retarded)
then i was in such a frazzled mood. had to get a ___ from isabel. then run back to the toilet.
which reminds me. i went to the toilet like a gazillion times today! :O drank too much water i think.
yeah, then during service, i was sooooo nervous. cuz we were about to present.
and when i forgot my lyrics while singing, i freaked and looked behind at the screen!
and then i felt superrr horrible :/
sulked a little during sermon. but cheered up when i went out with dae and isabel to buy coffee.
(=
after that, went back to church and had discussion with the SEEDs people and got ready for 2nd service.
THEN DURING WORSHIP, I FREAKED WHEN I SAW the _____ _____!
and i was pratically hyperventilating during one of the worship songs, i was so scared that my hands were freezing and i was frozen with fear.
till we went to the front and i didnt look in that direction, then i calmed down.
surprisingly, i calmed down much more after i started singing.(=
and so i felt better.
then happy happy mood till sunday school. i was soo tired and restless that i nearly fell asleep when mr yap was teaching :/
after that, went to teach wei en piano and i was very :/ cuz for one, i didnt know what to teach him, and seriously, i'm super under-qualified to teach him and i dont know if im even teaching him right. and it's like, whatever i think he should learn, he doesnt want to. and i dont wanna force him into something he doesnt wanna learn, then it'll defeat the whole purpose of teaching him in the first place. and i dont know how to tell him that i dont think i should teach him anymore either.
yeah.
sigh. well. as long as he's happy, i guess. but i dont like teaching him just so that he has fun, then he won't learn anything.
hm. ohwells.

so after that, went for lunch with godparents and my parents and jovie, this cute little girl that's my god-niece, and is now staying with my godparents. she's really sweet(=
yeah. but then i was :/ again, throughout the whole lunch.
after that, went home, tried out my new heels. happy for awhile, then was excited to try out the violin part for a choir piece till i got fed up when the pages kept flying around and i couldnt see what i was playing. >.<

and now? i'm just plain tired, fed up, upset, and sian-ed all at the same time.

i havent even counted how many moods i had.
blame the hormones.

after learning bio, i figured why i get such horrible mood swings.
just seeing the levels of FSH, LH, progesterone AND oestrogen, it's not wonder why mood swings are so crazy.
but anyways. i'm in a cranky mood, and i'm sorry for ending my last post with such a bad bang.

dont be worried about me, cuz it's just a phase i have to go through. rawr.


and, dont forget to come back to my blog after Os end :D

xoxo

(PS: i might just update my livejournal from time to time, but dont count on my blogger)

WHO STOLE MY COOKIES!
ahhhhhhhhhh
)=



i am so sad.



MY COOKIES. from my juniors..
)=

now no more )=
sigh.

ohwells.
today had oral, then stayed back in school with chelle to study stuff.
then went for tuition, and met chelle's parents! who are really nice and funny! hahaha
esp her mom! (=
she said i was pretty! :0
gave chelle a chance to prove herself right -.-

yeah, so after tuition, we went to pick my sis up, from church. i TOTALLY forgot that seeds was rehearsing, and before my parents knew it, i barged into the sanctuary to find my sis.
and caught them all staring at me. the next moment, ally was asking me to sing with them.
i sounded HORRIBLE! pitchy, un-rehearsed, unsure.. in other words, generally, HORRIBLE.
but ohwells, at least i got some practice. hahah
after that, came home, at like 10 plus. and FOUND MY COOKIES MISSING! )=
my cookies )=


and. everyone except jas is ignoring me on msn )=
they're all 'away' )=
and jas isnt helping my sadness, although she's trying her best to make me laugh, saying things like the cookie monster stole my cookies, and that he died in my fave jap cemetery. haha
but im still sad )=

sigh. there goes my cookies. i shall go wallow in my miserable state and sadness.
goodnight dears.


xoxo

today was such a touching day!
it was strings sec4 farewell :/
i miss my juniors ALREADY.
and talking to my fave juniors, mushroom and kyuri just made things worse.
sigh.

HOW CAN I BE LEAVING ALREADY. SERIOUSLY. IT'S JUSTTOO FAST.
i dont wanna leave mgs i dont wanna leave strings.
i dont wanna leave my juniors
i dont wanna leave my teachers
i dont wanna leave my friends
AHHHH IM A PREMATURE SEC 4 SENIOR.


ohwells
today was the first time i enjoyed strings rehearsal so much(=
and since the choir joined us, i got to talk to rachel lim! =D
havent spoken to her in quite awhile. and poor girl, got misunderstood again.
tsk hannah la. i'll explain to the rest of ya'll tmr or something.


today during strings, mr chan was saying such touching stuff, that all of us were close to tears :/
he said we were special to him and stuff, cuz we were the batch of sec1s that came in the same year he did. (=
then the silly juniors went to plan this spastic game that caused all of us to sweat!
it's some retarded scissors paper stone game that the hc people taught us a long time ago haha

after that, we went back to the stinky mep room(gab will know why it's stinky) and our juniors gave us our "graduation certs" and handmade keychains!(=
then we went off to have dunch(dinner+lunch) which was nice, cuz the super great claire teng, baked soo many nice cookies and muffins(=
but mrs chan chased us back to the mep rooms, cuz the choir was waiting for us.
and that's when saw that.. *ahem conductor that recognised me and picked on me during rehearsal. but anyways! he's pretty alright, character-wise, i hope, but just.. a little.. sadistic?

then, after rehearsal with the choir, everyone left, while i waited for mushroom, wanted to walk to the busstop for the last time with her :/
so while waiting, rachel lim pounced on me, and started questioning me if i heard this new rumour about her. then i was like, 'err yeah. i did. i heard alot of other stuff about you too.'

yeah, so she explained everything, and yeah, she's a horribly misunderstood girl!
so ya'll shldnt keep spreading stuff about her anymore!

anyways, so while talking, i realised that i had a missed call, and i called the number back, and it turned out to be SAJC! i started screaming into the phone, without realising the person already picked up -.-
but she was so mean, she just said 'everyone went home already. call again tmr -hangs up-"
and i was like huh.
haha
so yeah, so i was super excited and started babbling nonsense to rachel lim and jas. then jas had to go, so i was like bye and continued talking to rachel(=
yak yak yak, till mushroom came out, and we went home together(=
gosh, im gonna miss her so much. she's one of my fave juniors, even though she bullies me all the time. once, she punched me, and i got a huge bruise on my arm.
another time, she wacked me with her bow on my forehead, and i got another bruise.
then another time, she tripped me with her foot and i fell on my face.
but even so, i know she doesnt mean it(=
i'll always rmb her(=
and i hope she doesnt just rmb me as the senior that taught her the diff between lip liner and eyeliner, or the senior that was the first person who put make up on her. haha
btw, that video is on fb(=

yeah, so.. basically, today was super fun and touching. and i'll rmb it forever(=
and. i've decided to give myself a break and not study for today(=
anyways, i dont feel like blogging anymore. oh, just a last dialogue between chua and us.

me: chua! watcha wearing for prom?
chua: NOTHING!
everyone: HUH?! NOTHING?
chua: yeah! nothing!
me: err. are you serious? your birthday suit?
chua: what's a birthday suit?
lulu: it's what you were born with.
chua: huh? -a few mins later- OH NO! NOT NOTHING! i meant, i dont know what to wear yet! no, i meant im gonna wear my school uniform!

HAHAHA she's damn hilarious la!

HAHA 3RD POST OF THE DAY. i should totally delete the previous post. but you know what, i'm not gonna, so it'll always remind chelle how much i'll be there for her, and how much i love her(=

so chelle, next time when i get a blogskin with an archive, you an always go check it out. haha

anyways, even though i'm thoroughly embarrassed, but i'm glad this happened. cuz i learnt alot today(=

i asked my brother what i should do when i thought it was about me, and he just played and sang me the song "give thanks". which suddenly reminded me that i should give thanks for all my friends, no matter how they're like, or what they do. and also, that i should trust them more. haha
so i msged chelle, to tell her that i thank God for her, even if she wont admit to anything(but turns out the person wasnt me). but really, i'm grateful to Him for letting me learn this lesson.
even though i got so distracted and couldnt concentrate on chem from 8pm onwards. haha

so chelle, you can laugh at me all you want, but i'm glad God taught me a very precious lesson.


give thanks, with a grateful heart
give thanks, for the Holy one
give thanks, because He's given, Jesus Christ, His son
and now, let the weak say i'm strong
let the poor say im rich
because of what the Lord has done, for us
Give thanks.

xoxo

i have to blog about this, because you wont admit to anything if i ask you upfront, so i hope you read this post.
well, if you think i dont know you're talking about me, then you're really wrong.
and you should have came and asked me about WHY i was treating you that way in the first place, then maybe you wldnt have felt so upset.

i thought that, since you had a friend with you, and that friend is someone i dont really talk to, so you wouldnt want me around that much. and btw, everytime i wanted to talk to you on that day, you were with her.
and i'm sorry you feel upset and think that i'm not treating your problems as important, but seriously, i thought that if i could "lalala" and all, it might cheer you up.
but now that i know, it doesnt work for you, then i'll change, so that you wont think i deem your problems as insignificant anymore.



you dont have to confront me about this if you dont want to, since you dont like conflicts and all that. and if you're going to confront me, only to deny everything, then dont bother confronting me at all.
but really, i honestly dont feel that your problems are insignifiant, in fact, when i hear about your problems, sometimes i cry. but i dont tell you that, because i dont think that's important to tell you about.