Friday, October 31, 2008
halloween tomorrow!! (:today there were frat parties, as usual for a thurs night..
some people were dressed in things we dont really wanna know,
like prof suman was saying, women's halloween's costumes are today getting sexier.
and to me, almost non existent.
hmmm.
but tmr we're going to a parade i think! and prob trick or treating at bel air/ beverly hills! COOL RIGHT. we might see nicholas cage. WHOO HOOO.
and i was telling nush today that rain is coming!! predicted to rain this weekend. YESSSSS. finally, rain in california. no strike that, rain in los angeles. whoo hoooooo(:
valerie wrote on 2:34 PM.
judge them not, fault them not.
who are we to give unfriendly comments?
why does life entail jealousy, competition, hatred?
its ugly, and deceitful.
manipulative?
but, i'm thankful for everyday i live.
thankful for yesterday, today and tomorrow.
i'm thankful for sau, for shalom, for GOC, for God.
everyday i'm here i find myself growing,
i'm growing to love this place,
this is where i am now.
in 4 yrs time, where will i wanna be?
will i want to leave or stay?
its going to be a very very difficult choice, if anything happens..
we'll see.
valerie wrote on 8:35 AM.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The desire to be more and more like You.Thank You for Your grace and everything You've given me in my life.
Though I've sinned and sinned and sinned, You've continually given me opportunities and chances.
I want to be a person living for Your glory, Your honor.
I want to be who You want me to be.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for everything and everything in my life.
I love You.
valerie wrote on 2:53 PM.
even harsh words or questioning statements,
i know how much i hate them.
if only i were home;
valerie wrote on 7:21 AM.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
i'm done with 2 midterms. phews. they were quite good, i'm quite happy with the way it went. thank you(:jiayou sau for your french tmr!
i went to griffin park obsevartory today, andreas brought us there. erm, it was a bit akward coz i felt like a dian deng pao, but i guess it was for the good of someone(:(:
anyhow, it was good. the view of LA at night was beautiful. that place is really suitable for pa toh-ing. (: (: beautiful view of the stars and the sky.. i really really really wished you guys were there.. hmmmm. suddenly feel like going home to meet every everyone. ): ): oh wells, i viewed through a telescope to a cluster of stars that were supposedly 33,000 light years away, whatever that means. we watched some show on the cluster movements, was really really cool. turns out that the universe we are in now does not only consist of our galaxy, the milky way. there exists many many other galaxies too. billions of them in fact. its so creepy. how do these scientists know these?? i mean, for all we know there could be humans/ other living organisms in the other galaxies. and they are billion of light years away. how do they know that?
hmm, the complexity of life..
time to chiong for the next midterm, which is actually the hardest one): but anyhow, jiayou! i'm going to slack abit tmr, go to MR NOODLE for lunch (: (: (:
valerie wrote on 3:08 PM.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
san dear, its alw alw good to talk to you again(: so happy to hear you're doing well (: hahahhah, you know what i mean. just be careful and takecare of yourself!dont want to see a skinny human on skype/ when i go home next yr! hahahha.
anw i am happy i guess. its just that i'm too sensitive and take every small detail into account and make a mountain out of a molehill. insecure, you know how i am right!
anw, takecare everyone at home. happy deepavali (:
valerie wrote on 3:38 AM.
Monday, October 27, 2008
would things be any different if i werent here?would i have the courage as i have now to do things i would never imagine myself doing?
would you have asked me to stay?
would you have asked me?
what would you have told me?
its painful, but i guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.
well, we'll see..
i guess regret should never be a word we should associate ourselves with.
God planned everything in our life for a reason,
everything does happen for a reason.
And i truly do thank you Lord everyday for all the blessings You've showered me,
all the chances You've given me,
all the mercy and forgiveness You've let me have.
I know this is the right place for me, because you planned it for me.
I really do pray I would stop all the doubts I have in my head and my heart, about everything i have in my life.
I want to have the courage to take every step of the day for Your glory.
I dont want to look back at what could have been, or what I could have done.
This time, I want to be confident of my choice, of Your plan.
And I know its right this time.
valerie wrote on 5:17 AM.
valerie wrote on 5:15 AM.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
i hate this type of competition?i really really dont wish for things to be this way.
i miss you guys at home!!
i really hope i made the right choice,
stepping out of my comfort zone is really not as easy as i thought as it would be.
oh wells, i'm just thankful for evt God has given me.
valerie wrote on 12:27 PM.
you need to feel that you're competent enough, smart enough, good looking enough, well read enough.
you just wanna feel good about yourself.
but do you do so at the expense of others?
whats the cost?
is there anything called altrurism in this world?
do people really do things selflessly?
valerie wrote on 9:55 AM.
last night we had fellowship, and after that was freshman flashlight frenzy. it was so much fun! reminded me so much of orientation games, but with messages in them.
great to meet other freshman, great to know more people (:
slept really late last night, had to get up really early for the LA river field trip. hahaha, luckily i could get up this morning. skyped the two ladies in my family(: but anyhow, the LA river is really mostly man made. 60% of the river is concrete. meaning the base is concrete. so i feel its not a river anymore, its a canal, a mega long canal, 51 miles long.
it was really sad i guess the state of the river. LA has not much water, and the 4 sites which we visited really didnt look like a river. the last 2 were like sewage places, i felt. it was very polluted. very very sad. i think they have a master plan to revamp the whole river, to make it greener and open up more park spaces around LA. but i think its going to take 30-40 years. by that time, where will we be?
sometimes i dont know whether to laugh or cry at myself. the thoughts and feelings that i have, i dont know what to say. am i right about this feeling? or is it just my heart eating up my soul again? i'm tired of myself being so intuitive, so speculative. i just dont want to hurt myself again, for thinking stupid stuff.
hmmm. and i cant finish studying. this is the end. bye midterms, see you in 2 weeks):
valerie wrote on 7:24 AM.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
when other things come in to play,things will never be the same again.
why do things get so complicated?
complexity of the human mind
valerie wrote on 7:45 AM.
Friday, October 24, 2008
its times like these when you wanna spit things out,get things off your chest.
but you dont know who to turn to.
thats so sad, seriously ):
valerie wrote on 9:41 AM.
midterms, i realise how much i have to study.
today's feeling like not such a good day ):
self fulfilling prophecy?
and i wish people in the world werent so critical, judgemental or confrontational.
i dont like it, really dont ):
and things havent been so good everywhere else either,
so how?
worries? stress?
why are you in this situation? worry again?
i'm tired. when will everything end?
valerie wrote on 8:29 AM.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
suddenly i miss you guys so much):really really wish you guys were here with me, life would be so much funner(:
waiting for the time i can finally go home. its not that i'm not happy here. its just that, this is not home..
valerie wrote on 6:38 AM.
are you touched i woke up to call you?
you're nineteen(: (: (:
love you!
valerie wrote on 12:07 AM.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
stress coming up again.i know the amount of stress i'm feeling now is really not comparable to what you guys are feeling at home, but just let me ramble abit about the work i have to do (:
1) lab report
2) GE cluster writing assignment
3) A&O homework 2
4) GE midterms, study x number of chapters. x= unknown
5) A&O midterms
6) Comm studies midterms and the prof is not giving a review. ):
the worst part is, the midterms and finals have almost the same weightage. oh wells. study. study!
hope that everything is going well at home. heard how the economy is going now ): good luck to everyone who's graduating this year and looking for a job!!
some people are going home in late nov/early dec. i am so envious!! i really do want to go home, but i know that once i do, i will be going back into my comfort zone, and this doesnt condition me to who i want to be.
so conclusion: study, study, study.
i dont have a social life. hahaha, well, i think i'll need more time to establish that. we'll see how thigns go!
halloween is coming. my dorm, for some weird reason, decided to put red cellophane paper on the lights. SO THE WHOLE FREAKING CORRIDOR IS RED. its freaky. its like hungry ghost month thing, only creepier. i got a shock this morning when i opened the door. RED, like red. no comments.
the weather's getting colder, which is kind of a good thing i guess. now's the perfect time. not too cold, not too hot. i wish it will never end.. oh wells!
btw, sorry steph, i was in class today so i couldnt reply you. hope everything's going well and that you are ready to take your Os! good luck ok! (: (:
to the others who are taking A levels, all the best. if you are taking A levels in 2 weeks, you shouldnt be reading this! haha.
and to everyone else in uni, good luck for finals. which are coming soon right? you guys are going to have a long month holiday (: (: (: enjoy it!!
much love from over the pacific ocean ♥
i'm missing you guys like crazy ): wishing everyday you guys could be here with me ): ):
valerie wrote on 2:46 PM.
Monday, October 20, 2008
ultimately, every human is selfish. every thing people do is for their own gain. this is for my own happiness, this is for my wealth, this is for me, myself and i.even when you do things for others, is it just merely a way for your own comfort? does true philantrophy exist? or is it just an outlet to make yourself feel better about the sins you have committed?
i truly feel that the people of this universe are ultimately people who think for themselves only, and i'm sick of it. but i guess its human nature.
i really do want to be selfless, but is it possible at all?
valerie wrote on 12:42 PM.
Friday, October 10, 2008
i can slowly feel myself adjusting to life in the us, and actually living alone.its not that bad i guess, since there's skype and evt.
its just that i wish more people were here to share with me everything i'm going thru, that'll be cool. but its ok! make more friends(:
i went for hula hoop class today! I FINALLY CAN HULA HOOP! DAMN COOL.
and sau taught me how to play pool. COOL LA. sau is freaking zai.
i have alot of readings, but i'm going to take it easy and just stay on top of my readings. i'm glad sau and shalom are in this with me. thanks!
valerie wrote on 1:13 PM.
Monday, October 06, 2008
school has started, and its in full swing, sort of i guess. week 1's over, and i still feel like i'm on holiday. hahaha. actually i have barely any homework, but i'm just plain lazy. hahahha.the weekend went really well.
on friday we went around some parts of LA near my school. we went to century city, hollywood and beverly hills. and seriously guys, its totally overrated. hollywood is just like street on orchard road, with less people and less buildings. its just a strip of buildings like the kodak theatre, and the star things on the floor. beverly hills was nice for a change, to see houses. some houses were huge! but too bad we didnt see any stars. hahah, but we found out some people live near our school. like nicholas cage apparently. century city was nice, it was a nice shopping district, so called. its like a shopping mall, but everything is ground level. all stores kinda thing. quite hard to imagine since we are so used to shopping malls.. but it was nice. aldo's cheaper here. was so tempted to buy!! and.. i bought some stuff from f21, agapera are you jealous! hahaha. i bought a bag and a shirt for about 35 bucks. yayyy.
then we went to target, its a huge hypermart which sells almost everything. something like walmart. i bought another bag. hahaahahha. ok, i'm turning into a compulsive shopper. hehhh.
we went to my friend sauling's family friend, auntie grace's place to stay on fri night. was a nice change i guess from school and dorms. her place is about half an hour drive from school.. and i had yoshi for supper. AHAHAHA. good beef. i miss rice and human food. haha. fri night was nice, sau and i were up and we were just talking about our life in general.. quite cool (:
sat morning, shiok. havent slept in for so long! we woke up around 10am (: auntie grace was so nice, cooking us a chinese breakfast of noodles and congee. yummy! (: we went to play minigolf then it started RAINING. omg so happy to see rain for once. apparently it only rains 5 times a year or smt. haha. but anw, we techinically played for free, because they gave us 2 free tickets for the next game! yay! (: then we decided to play in the arcade. HAHAH, basketball. AGAPERA!(: but the machines here obviously voice in english, not mandarin. but anw, it was good fun. the ddr machine sucked. but i suck at ddr too i guess. aga and yingting must be laughing now. eee.
then we went to have lunch at this hk-ish chinese place. noodles for a change! (: shiok. i miss homemade soup:( it was good, and we had some leftovers to bring back to school. SO ITS MY DINNER TODAY. yayyy!! (: thank you so much sau's parents!!
then we went around downtown LA, chinatown, mexican town, little tokyo.. quite nice area, but nothing much to see.. maybe i'm just feeling jaded and stuff. but oh wells. it was good to get out of school..
we had dinner at montery park, this place which apparently has the highest chinese population in the whole of US. dinner was good, i havent tasted fish in WEEKS. school doesnt serve any fish:( sadly.
then played pingpong. omg sau's dad is damn pro, and sau too. then again, everyone is pro except me. i'm an embarrassment to humankind. hahahahhaa. secret training soon!!
then time to go home:( sadly. back to the dorms.
went to church this morning. it was nice (: after that we went to the airport to send sau's dad off.. and here i am back in the dorms again :( trying to do my hw.
my brain is dead. i need something to rescitate it.
i've been thinking for the longest time,
whats it like to be...
valerie wrote on 6:30 AM.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
i feel like i'm falling sick now:( i know how much this sucks, so i dont want to get sick!! grrrr. the weather must be the problem. its getting so hot now, i dont know why. its supposed to get colder, but it seems like it got hotter since i came :(i think the main reason why i feel so hot is because there are no clouds in the sky, and it doesnt doesnt rain at all. haha, sunny california..
and now i know why i hate school. i really dont like homework and all the mad readings. i feel totally unmotivated. but i know that i cant throw this all away. it wasnt easy to get in here, what for throw it all away!
jiayou :( my writing skills are rock bottom now. :( i need to get some help in writing! the expectations are high, so better do smt soon.
ok, back to studying. i hope the world is having a better day than i am..
valerie wrote on 11:54 AM.