Tuesday, October 31, 2006

scared me.

tired,but happy.i alw say that.but am i really tired,really happy?haha.

been feeling a little moody smt.must be pms.HAHA.just have strong emotions towards people,positive,negative.oh wells.i'll get over them!!ahh.2 more days to chinese,1 more week to op.and then it'll be a huge burden lifted.everyone's dying for it to be over.it's going to be,soon!

must start studying for next year.i can just imagine.i feel sec 3 all over again.the feeling of becoming a senior,facing the stress of a major exam.but in sec 3 we were busy with so many things,oac,syf,pc camp.now i have exams to think about.haha.not much of a stress-reliever.

and i'll not be surprised if i fall sick with dengue fever.so many mozzie bites!mozzie,mozzie,go away.come again another day.we wont miss you ever again.please stop sucking up my precious blood.go find a blood bank to suck!=\ dont infect me with dengue now!boohoo.


anw,today i went to aprie's house with abi!woots!missed the times we spent together.ltc,oac,sec 3 and 4,table partners,smacking butts.all those days,fun,crazy,mad.=)i still remember liwen,on someone's back saying JIA!!and YUU.oh my.thinking about it makes me wanna laugh.=)miss you guys.and abi,even tho i see you in school,we dont talk much anymore =(( we shall all go out aft this nonsense!!yayyay.looking forward to that.


life isnt life if there isnt happiness,
but yet,
life isnt life if there isnt sadness,anger,pain;
all these thoughts go through my mind,
reminding me of the past.
so much to think about,
so many things to do.
life is short,
why dont we make life less miserable?
happier?
sighs,
i dont know.
but i feel sometimes i make myself miserable on purpose.
just block out all the negativity,
and all will be fine?
nopes,life doesnt work that way.
i'm me,i'm not perfect,
life's not perfect.

and i'm talking incoherrently.i just feel bored,irritated,itchy,cold.haha.nah,going to work on smt more constructive soon!TIME IS MONEY,MONEY IS TIME.haha.but patience is a virtue.


dont insult me that way

Sunday, October 29, 2006

why do i get this feeling of surging sadness,

i'm plunging deeper into nothingness again.

the world,revolves around money.

without even bothering about the opportunity costs to society.

a third of us is going to die from cancer,and no one is doing anything about it.

why?

replies`

aggie!HAHAHAHA.yes.new members of our narcisstic ps society will only be allowed to take pictures of aggie,fitrah and valerie.founders of the association.mwahah.ahh.pw is driving me crazy.

veron!:ahha.yes,yes.will send you the pictures!mwahahhah.

aga!:haha.i'm bored too lahs.going out to do pw later.haha.and maybe STUDY CHEENA!ahha.we accomplished so little that day.grumbles.haha.

veron:haha,welcome!!hope you like it..=)

veron:yes,remember that day!we were eating that humongous chicken and we were poking it wondering where is the bone.i bet you its genetically modified.such a poor chicken.had to die such a terrible death

san:I MISS YOU!time to meet up soon.i'm suffering from the post-weisan syndrome.i want to talk about information disclosure with you!!ahh=( exams are coming but i dont feel stressed at all.i have so much to tell you babe.lets meet up soon!i will crash.HAHA.if i can lahh.=)take care and jiayou with school ok!tell me more about your hot lecturer.and btw,i love chinese,chinese loves me.HAHA.like real.

aga:HAHA.you're welcome babe.enjoy your weekend.which is coming to and end.OH MY.weekend,coming to an end.lame -.-

haha,so so sorry that i only reply so late.my com cant view my cbox.so i cant see your messages!i have to go into the main site to view..i will reply more often next time!!=)

somehow or other,i know this is a test of my faith.and i shall not waver.

ok,my pw group is ultimately suay.firstly,our exam grouping is with class 19/06,and we will be javing 6 assessors,if i am not wrong.with 2 from school,2 internal moderators,and 2 moe external moderators.if we are not suay,what are we?but ok,i'll take this as a challenge.we must do well!!and we can do it.surely!=)


confidence,is all you need

Saturday, October 28, 2006

read an email from nanny about cancer causing agents.really very scary.if this happens,the world will have like half its population dying from cancer.sighs.

so,two of us are going to explore cold's storage today!WE ARE GOING TO FIND A SHAMPOO THAT DOES NOT CONTAIN SLS.damn,i dont want to die from cancer,although we all have to die one day!sighs.these people,for profiteering purposes.


two more days to the thirtieth.
do you even remember what it stands for?
coincidentally,its the first day of the secondary school holidays,
as well as the first day of o levels;
two years have passed.
the times we spent,together,apart.
how much both of us have changed,
for the better,for the worse.
two years,not too long,not short either.
the love,the warmth.
i still remember,faintly.
but all's not lost,
because i still have the memories of you,
in my heart.
forgetting is impossible,
putting them aside,realistic.
i miss you,i miss the times we had.
but i know we both have to move on,
and i know you'll do well in life.
jiayou k?
meet up soon after your exams and mine.
take care,
till then!
ZOO WE COME!=)
minizoo rocks my world.

Friday, October 27, 2006

FITRAH IF YOU ARE READING THIS!haha,you look so drop dead gorgeous in that photo you took!OMG!I WAS LIKE,WOW!haha.=)

sorry but i my com cant read tagboards!i wonder why!!

went to study with aga today.HAHA.was totally unproductive,only studied one chapter.bugis seemed so boring to me today.was feeling so bleahed up.so sianded.haha.we went to bugis street.so smelly.totally smelt of smoke and fumes.bleahs.but oh wells.saw the shoe aga wanted to buy.quite nice.=)haha.and i realised most of the stalls were selling puma bags.=)oh wells.they like pooh's mother as much as i do.

before that,we were at national library.whoas.so many people.flooded.the basement,central library was totally full.and the study area on the 5th floor too.we even went out to the courtyard,too bad.all taken.so,two of us decided to go to the kids area to study.so funny.end up we study a bit,go toilet,eat tictac.and TALK.sighs.whats new.with two of us can talk non-stop man.oh wells.but we had a good day.

and this part,i feel so dumb now.ate and ate and ate.i think i spent most of my money on food.if i am not careful,i am going to be obese soon.HAH.we ate so much,ok.i ate so much i think my stomach is going to burst.haiyo.aga,how was the consumer satisfaction gained from the croquette?HAHA.=)

then aga's mummy came,we left.time to go home.ATTEMPTED to study when i got home.then my sister keep making me play cards with her.

and i found my flute.played it and now i'm feeling so depressed.since i wore braces,i've lost my lipping.sickening.have to practice..=( urgh.

oh,we had ne day yesterday.half the time i wasnt paying attention.AGA!what if he's smelly!=) haha.so funny.interesting day yesterday,because all my thoughts were filled with youu.i couldnt pay any attention mans.=( all i know is that we were made to sit in the audi listening to people talking,with fitrah and aggie making comments and i laughing.but seriously,i think women who do ns are cool.but too bad,i know thats not what i want.but i do admire those people.=)and the learning journey,erms.i think i was looking forward most to the food.because i was too hungry that day to think of anything else.HAHA.but i think the photos we took were funny.especially the no feeding and no fishing.AHHA!=)cam whoring;we do.

seriously,i think i have no life.i keep going out,but i dunno what i'm going out to do.i just go out and loiter.oh,we saw miss dawn tan today.she asked us why we weren't at home studying.i think she mistook us for j2s.but i felt guilty after that,because we were supposed to be studying.OK I MUST STUDY TODAY.

ohs,monday i have an ogl interview.haha.wonder what they'll ask.wonder how i'll answer.


do i really want it that much,
when i know you're not going to be there?
nanny,you were totally right.
its just not right for me,i feel.
lead me the way;i pray.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

haha.happy birthday veron!hope you enjoyed today,as well as the postcards!woots.sorry my scotch tape is bleahed up.supposed to be high quality scotch tape that can be peeled out without the paper fibre tearing out.haha.i think it does that,but doesnt serve the basic purpose of sticking two pieces of paper together.haha.=)

and i realised,tiramisu is like the flavour most people like.i initially wanted to buy some mango cake from prima deli,but i thought few people would like it.haha.ok here's some cam whores in action;

haha,us in action monday morning.chionging presents.ok,actually thats only part of the class.which is only my pw group lah.haha,with esme's infamous hand!=)and mostly the table is filled with my stuff.wait,its all my stuff!!AHHA.but the bottle and the stars,with the friendship band is typically valerie i can say.all my close friends can vouch for that.haha=)





ok,probably someone took this picture when she was bored.i dont even know who it is.HAHA

Mabel and Jieling.mabelline!whats with your chian pian face!HAHA=)) unglam,unglam.hehhs.

xinli!=)mwahahs.

HAHA!for the greatest picture of all time,aggie and i being lame.using my terrible reflective screen of my laptop as a mirror,we took some lame pictures.this is one of them,with veron's blog as a background.HAHA.two of us are the ultimate cam whores,AND I REALISED!WHERE'S FITRAH!=\ GRR.3 of us can open our own photographic society,with just 3 of us taking pictures,of ourselves man.!HAHA.=)

anw,after school,we celebrated veron and aga's birthday with a nice cake.tiramisu,cool=)quite happy coz it was the first time the WHOLE CLASS came down.yay!=)woots.

then i went with yt for the op workshop,i was supposed to be the clicker.but i had to leave for sl .so sorry yt!=\ but she told me she did well!i'm so happy for her!its no mean feat ok,presenting to a crowd you dont even know.unlike us,we did it with our class.good for you babe!=)proud of you.show me the comments thingo tml.yeahs!

so we went for sl,aga,nat and i.were doing the proposal then asked veron to come and help.=)haha.so pathetic,the proposal.on mic word.bleah.litian came to school.haha.went off.we were freaking late.supposed to reach at 5,reached at 530.then called boonsiong,he came to bring us there.haha.while waiting for him,we cracked very stupid jokes.didnt want to stand under the windows of the flats in case smt drops on my head.haha.=)then we saw alot of boonsiong everywhere,all his brothers.haha.=)went to the centre.quite cool.i didnt even know what they did,but now i understand.kaiqi is cool.i want to be a social worker like her.but i know i can never be one,i have no patience.sighs.ok.but discovered the centre's activity centre is too small.so most likely we will be holding it in school.=)ok.

discussion ended.we went for dinner.at chomp chomp.took alot of pictures,but i shant post it now.i'm too lazy.tml ba.haha=)so we ate and talked.and took alot of photos,made alot of noise!=)haha.but thats the spirit!=)COOL PEOPLE.haha.i ate too much,and i still feel so bloated now.haha.

went home,hope aga and nat are home safely now!esp nat,never on phone ehs.but i did my chem hw.no one replied me as to which qns to do!ahh.so nvm lah,just did whatever i think she said to do.HAHA;

tml's NE DAY!woots.class bonding.i love my class,my classmates.and i hope my classmates love each other as much as i love them too..=)we shall TAKE MORE PHOTOS.and talk more crap!yays.=)

i'm happy today;

how about youu?

seldom see youu around these days;

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Aga and i are terribly facinated by somthing called MOS chicken.look at it.so juicy and succulent.

BEFORE:

But its bone is so terribly small,what chicken is this man!genetically modified chicken?haha.so poor thing this chicken. and its so oily.HAHA.

AFTER:

in wake of two of my classmates birthdays,i've been thinking.

birthdays?

when we were young,birthday parties used to be a novelty.
cakes,party hats,fried food,macdonalds;
streamers,birthday invitations,
relatives,angpows,presents.
the excitement,the joy,the anticipation.

as we got older,birthday parties became more and more disregarded.
maybe just a small get together,some presents.
some people dont celebrate their birthdays.

well,as we GET older,what will happen to our concept of birthdays?

i used to think,birthdays?just another day.to commemerate your how many years of existence.no difference to me.i always felt skeptical about birthdays,because i was lucky.my family made birthday parties grand,presents,food,friends,everything.i took these for granted,never really appreciated it.i felt it was kind of a waste of money,waste of time.why commemerate 17 years of existence,when you're in fact only a few hours/mins/secs older?

now,i understand.its the day where we commemerate the DAY we were born.not about how many hours/mins/secs older,but the date we were born.and as aggie said,we commemorate our mothers,the hours of labour,the pain they had to go through.haha.

but i still think they are over-rated lah.haha.


doing things you dont like,makes them a burden.
but i wasnt really given a choice,was i?
you forced me to do it;
mean it sounds,
but thats precisely how i felt.
dont make people feel guilty,
people should do it from their heart,by their own will.
by doing this,
it takes all the meaning away.
so what's the point?
i just feel its a burden,weighed on my shoulders.
carried by me alone.
and the fact that you dont see it this way,
makes me feel sad.
because you're living in your own world of denial and oblivion,
not recognising what other's think,what other's feel.
force?will?
will you ever see how i think?how i feel about you.


if they dont care,why should i?
common phrase.
but think again,if no one cares,who will?
they always told me to think for myself only.
'why bother contributing when you know that you'll be a nobody when you leave?'
but have you ever thought that if everyone thinks that way,what will happen?
selfish,unthoughtful,irresponsible.something you wanted me to be,but i dont want to be someone you expect me to be.

ironic,but when something goes wrong,
everyone seems to care now.
finger pointing,blaming.
whats the whole point?
if you really cared,you would have in the first place.

selfishness,is the number 1 ugly human trait.
its disgusting,
the ugliness of it oozes out,and looks dreadful.
i hate it,i detest it,i dread it.

i simply dread the blame being pushed around.
to save it,i shall take it.
blame,be my friend.

life's unpredictable;so unpredictable.

what's the point?

no wonder you gave me signs,now i understand.

i was stubborn,didnt listen.

all those times i've went against you, knowing i was wrong.

now i know,and i repent.

i'm sorry,i wont do it again.

only when you learn to be less critical;

if not you can go on living that life you live.


today was so funny.was supposed to be out with aga and gang to see the sl place.but end up since today's a public holiday,its closed.so we wanted to go out.last night we were still discussing until my free ride was cut off.so i went to sleep.haha.was supposed to be up by 930 pm to discuss pw.but i was too tired to wake up,so until this morning,i had so many messages.'VALERIE WHERE ARE YOU?' haha,i was in lala land=) tell me next time not to be such a pigg!haha.


then aga couldnt go out coz she's celebrating her bday today!=)woots!so nvm i talked to yt on the phone.haha.and played 7 poker.so cool!=)HEHHEH.we are addicted.


then two nice girls decided to be disciplined and do i&r and study chinese.OK.we will be good and study.WE WILL DO WELL!A A A A A everyone!woots!

snakes in the house.how exciting is that?haah.

yes,there was a snake in my house.and apparently it was eaten by a cat.but it still looks whole to me.sicko man.fitrah,you reading this?meano,sicko,freako.hehheh!=)


anw,selamat hari raya!esp to my dearest friend,fitrah,aka rashid!woots! haha,and APRIE TOO!babe,i miss you heaps and loads!=) we should seriously go out soon.


speaking of which,all of us have been saying must go out,must go out!BUT its been ages since i saw any of you!grr.haha.ok,shall make an effort to make dates with people.hehheh;

Monday, October 23, 2006

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

its really hard to be happy when you know the people you care for arent.i really hate to see you in such pain,but what can i do to help you?we dont even talk about these stuff.how,what can i do to see you smile?

today was another standard monday,except it is AGAPERA CHOR AI BEI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!whoots!imagine me and fitrah,ok only me making dog wail cheers with everyone covering their faces in embarrasment.sia suay ah!ahaha.yepp.


the look on their faces,it was all worth it.=)haha.so cool.the whole class making stars during pw.thank you guys so much k!=)woots.


after school,apparently,aga and i were supposed to be studying chinese!what did we do!sit around and talk about our class and how to help!ahh.but quite cool,talking abt strategies.reminds aga and i of sun zi ping fa.cool right!haha.i have cool classmates who strategize!haha.oh wells.hope it works on wed!=)


too bad,didnt see much today.haiyos,craziness.madness.=\ monkeying around.i think i'm just high,on laughter.


tml we're going down to the place to check it out.yeah man.haha.for sl,our christmas party!oohh!and for fundraising,most likely should be food stuff we're selling.then can come my place to make!YAY.or litian's house also can.WOOTS.


oh,and everyone in 18 is promoting!so called,advanced promotion.dont ask me why they have such a weird name.really sounds like oh,we can go take a levels now.advanced promotion.and there's another class of conditional promotion.WOOTS.the sprit of one class,one mug.haha.ok.next year we shall do better.but i dont understand how some people can see how hard we study and so on.if we dont study in school doesnt mean we dont at home right..er,its A BIT weird.heh.=)
two today reminded me of us,of you.

the good old times,

suddenly so far away.

i miss your voice,

your concern,

your hand,

the love.

i've learnt it the hard way,

things are not that easy to forget.

why do i still subject myself to this pain when i know i have to overcome it one day?

i'm just running away from the problem.

telling myself i've forgotten everything,

but truth is,

not.


i miss you,i really do.

you're a screwed up freak.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

comeon,sing along.guffaws.=)


realiesd how much you've changed.will we still be friends?



the broken promises,

the expectations,

everything,

lost,

found?

but i have no right to judge you; i dont

although most of my friends will still be around me next year,i cant be happy when i know that there are people i know who have the possibility of being retained.seeing people cry,seeing people sob,seeing some people's expression of sadness.how to be happy?unless you're not human and you choose to ignore.as fitrah said,there should be non-mihi-solum here too.


but what can we do to help?nothing,except to lend our shoulder?they gotta deal with these on their own.=(helplessness,yet again.


pw;can anyone ever say they like it?its coming to an end soon.will we regret what we didnt do next year?op,i&r.2 more.just a little bit more.


for the j2s and sec 4s,its just a little more!jiayou k.you can do it.

why do i feel so empty without youu?


weekend's here.usually i'll be so happy that i can stay home to slack no need to wake up so early for school.but why do i feel so miserable this week?boo.i know the answer,but i refuse to admit it.


running away,running away.why am i always doing that?when will i learn to face them headon?i have to,its the only path to success.


chinese,in just barely one and a half weeks more.ahh.


some people just expect me to study chinese 24 hours.haiyo.so i am stuck at home while they're out somewhere.=\ eees.


oh wells,promo results confirmed.haha.i dont think i did my best,most papers full of careless mistakes.not even doing the papers properly.obviously not doing my best.the only consolation is that i passed evt before moderation.haha.oh wells.next year!i will work harder and pay more attention.the As will come.YEAH!


but anw,proud of fitah and veron for their good grades!=)we shall work hard together.


i told myself if i pass evt for promos,i will go be an ogl.but now i'm seriously thinking hard.am i cut out for it?hmms.


i'm feeling confused.i'm such a fickle.urgh.=\

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

eheh.everyone is doing last min work,rushing it out before tml.sighs.time up,library closed.so had to leave.how to print!!AHH.=(

pwpwpw.eees.


its all gonna be over,very soon.


will you be there with me then?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

esme and i are so bored in school now.supposed to be doing pw,but she nv come.so we're just slacking away.


got back all my results today.not fantastic,but good enough for me.haha.i seriously think my expecatations are too low.in secondary school getting 50 plus we be upset.now 50 plus so happy man.i dont even have anything above 60.haha.nvm,work harder this hols to push my grades higher.oh wells.


can promote can le.but i'm feeling quite sad coz i guess some people wont be moving up with us.what happened to together as one?=\

Sunday, October 15, 2006

ytd was open house.was quite funny coz we were slacking around.trying to find people to bring around.i think at most aga and i brought around 6 groups only.so pathetic.we were sitting at the 3rd floor,because we were supposed to be door openers.but apparently no one came from there.so we just talked about camps and heavy bags.HAHA=) whees.quite funny.


yupp.saw some cedarians,tho i guess other jcs would be seeing more of them.haha.quite happy when zl came.so funny.we were creeping around to spot someone.i feel so embarrassed now!i bet he saw me looking at him.HMMS.haha.oh wells.but by the time they came school was quite empty already.yupps.


mabel!was great talking to you ytd.must take care yeah!=)you must show me!!=)haha.monday,monday.haha.


aga!=)whoohoo.we were happily guiltily slacking. haha.thanks for running away with me,when we spotted someone.haha.so funny man.watching people playing badminton,and walking up that staircase!=)haha.you should go boulder soon!then i can cheer you on!=)hahahs.and we shall not be so bad to keep insulting t4.so mean,we'll get our retribution someday if we dont stop soon!


yingting!didnt really see you all day.so sad=( hope you had fun hehheh=)


ohs,mass dance was =\ i really cant dance for nuts.dance so many times already i still cannot remember.haiyo.so embarrassing,i bet if you stand at the second level you can spot some person being slow and dumb.haha.so weird.just laughed it off i guess.lucky for me.*hehheh*


but i guess the memory i wont forget from open house was feeling hungry!i dunno why,i was so hungry when it ended.hmms.


was so tired when it ended.went home to shower first then went off for tuition.haiyo,everyone was so tired.practically the whole class was sleeping.esp yuanli.so scary you!can suddenly doze off while talking to me.and when it ended you were gone for such a long time!i was so scared you fell asleep at the dustbin or smt!=\ haha.hope you went home to rest early ytd.


haiyo.been thinking about random stuff recently.reliving the memories,laughing randomly at all the stupid stuff i used to do.and still blushing with embarrassment at all the silly things i did.haha.but most of all,i guess i still feel the sense of regret now.but its all over,i know.i will get over it!=)just laugh it off.


and like my cousin said,i really do sleep my problems away.just go to sleep and dream about better things.haha,funny but true.sleep is my ultimate medicine.haha.thats until i get insomia which i really hope to never have.


2.5 weeks to chi As.wr due next thurs.jiayou!


and i havent found out your name!boo
somehow i felt the unhappiness in her eyes.was it because of me,or did it not exist at all?i'm sorry if my presence was a pain in the ass to you.

replies`

aga:hey babe=) whoos.we were the big time slackers!whoos.hope you guys had a nice time aft open house ytd!haha.i tried the cheezito thingo.ehs,i think it tastes like cheese fries.haha.see you mon!thanks for listening to my crap!=)


san!: hey babe.i really really am so grateful to Him that i have such a great friend like you.thanks so much for your encouragement all this while!=)haha.ehs,tml school reopen alr!excited?can see someone ehs!=)must take picture,let me see!haha.


aggie:heyhey!haha.i also want to go zoo!WE SHALL GO AND BLEND IN WITH ALL THE ANIMALS DURING THE HOLS.when you are finally free!=))

nanny:hahhaha.bet you've moved on from iswak,and jss!WHOOS.gosh,cant believe we've been so crazy over certain people recently!first it was hyun bin,then joe!whoos.i bet now you're crazy abt princessh hours.can imagine you there laughing like crazy.HAHA!=)yayyays.love you nanny!



aga:HAHA.ok,this is very late,but yeahs!had fun THAT day.with rob-b-hood!AND YOU YT AND JO dunno doing what at the front of the cinema.haiyos.tsk tsk!but i really look forward to going out again!eating MOS CHICKEN.plucking the meat and wondering WHY the bone is so small!=)haha.we shall go on a FOOD FEAST SOON!yay!next year must go play with lanterns!WHEE!<3


Katheleen:HEY!yeah,of course i rmb you!=)how's evt now?take care yeah!


zy:HAHA.exams are so long over and only now i am replying you.aha.tues tues tues!i'm being overly obsessive,but i think my results will be bleah.we shall see k!must tell me how you do.like duh la.i see you every morning.HAHA.sheesh.maths.lets all roll on the floor laughing about our results man.hurhur.k,take care see you mon!

Friday, October 13, 2006

i have decided.but will i stick to my decision?i dont know,but i find i am. disgusted.ewws.

haven blogged for some days now,quite busy in school.when i get home i just bathe and plop straight to bed.then too lazy to go down to use the net.so yeah,haven updated till today.


oh wells,to summarize the week's happenings,its all about pw.yupp.we finally completed our wr.but whether or not it is approved is another thing.sighs.now to work on op ppt.sighs.life is a never ending cycle of challenges.oh wells.


then as for other stuff,we've been sort of preparing for open house.which is tml!if you guys have time do drop by k!=)


today was farewell assembly.quite touching,the items and evt.the teachers are so sweet!whoos.so sad,no more j2s around.although i wasnt close to any j2s,i'll still miss their presence.haha.and i bet all my classmates will be so sad,no more eye candy.hoho.sighs,you really only do feel it when its gone,learning only to appreciate when they're no longer there.


after mass dance and prep today,aga,veron and i went to j8.haha.wanted to eat mos!=)haha.didnt manage to resist the temptation of mos milkshake.hoho.its much nicer than macs.oops.haha.then we went to the library.on the way there,saw so many people,evelyn,sining,novabelle,engkiat and others whom i cannot remember their names.but it was nice to see the lovely blue and grey again.=)


so we sat at the library to read.haha,all the books are so new!so nice!and there are so many stephen king books.haha.finally borrowed, ps i love you!WHOOHOO.have been wanting to read it since bihuan told me abt it.but i can tell its going to be sad,coz someone died.sighs.


saw my neighbour who has the same bag as me.crap.lucky i didnt carry that bag if not i will feel so embarrassed!and still walk so slowly then aft overtake me,what are you trying to do man.make me turn behind?make me fall?haiyos.maybe i'm just too sensitive.but you look crap smart.hur.you must be,in that uniform.haha.

and as i was walking home,i was listening to music.then i got a fright coz suddenly some guy singing suddenly started playing in my left ear.and so loud his voice.HAIYO.just jumped.lucky no one,if not i'll just die man.haha.


anw,i wanted to talk abt open house prep.i really really cant dance for nuts.i'm so dead,gonna make a big fool of myself.and its so obvious that someone stopped dancing in the middle of the whole crowd.DAMN,am i dumb or what.haha.


anw,i also wanted to say,

AGAPERA CHOR!haha,really really appreciate evt,thanks for all your encouragement and reassurance!haha.though i know the way i dance is completely crap.haha.=)thanks thanks thanks!=)


sighs,recently been thinking about some stuff,been feeling quite silly.i dont know what to think!sighs.quite sad coz trekker boy is going into ns soon.and got the date le.its been a long time,is it fate or what,meeting him 2 times over 2 weeks.when the last time i saw him was 2 over years ago.it brings back memories alright.but i know i have to move on..sighs.


keep seeing you around.everytime i see you,i think and remember the old times.young and innocent?and i know i'm crap.a total piece of crap.i feel like crap when i see you.i'm really really sorry.=( i keep thinking,keep remembering the scene when you last told me that you loved me,but the last thing i said to you was lets breakup.am i stupid or stupid.crap,i feel like a fool.


thats why i keep saying i dont want to.i dont want to be such a pain in the ass anymore.i feel terrible.i miss you,i really do.but nothing i say will ever redeem myself,i know.but one thing you can feel assured about,i feel the pain now.at least now,and i got my retribution.


i'm so sorry.i really did care for you.and i still do.


crap,crap,crap.i think i'm just very confused.haiyos.forget it man,just forget it.nothing will come out of it.


focus on your exams!3 more weeks.i can do it.i will get an A.

Monday, October 09, 2006

oh mans,mabel you are pro!=)haha.like that see also can,and saved me the embarrasment of talking rubbish.hohos.so sians,trying to make the final touch ups for pw.i wanna finish watching it started with a kiss,super nice.joe is hot!haha siaos.


ytd i met yuanli,weisan and siewting for breakfast.quite funny listening to them.=)then went to meet yt and esme for pw.sat at macs and tried to get wireless.finally understand how to use it mans.and my com the batt drain so fast!2 hours plus only.hohos.we watched it started with a kiss,the last episode.SO FUNNY!we laugh and laugh until stomach pain.then esme told us about some you-tube video with a japanese guy trying to count.from one to ten it was ok,until eleven he started counting ten-one,ten-two,ten-three.until ONE HUNDRED!so it was like ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten.SO FUNNY!


we had to leave coz my batt died.we just started dooddling on our draft 2.sicko mans.i was being crappy as usual,my usual high-ness during pw.scribbling stuff answering her questions.eg,any articles to support this: NO.and we signed at the back of the draft.HAHA.craziness..


then yt and i decided to watch wtc.IT IS SO TOUCHING.must watch if you have the chance.it gave me insight into 911.when i happened in 2001,we were just in p6,how to understand their ordeal?all i remember about it was about the visual,the pictures,the gory,the pain.after the show,i understand how it feels like to be buried under 100 over floors of rubble.the family's pain,and worry.


and out of 2487 people who were buried (missing) only 20 people were found.


and i find it so touching that 2 of them kept talking and talking to keep each other alive,although it was so tiring.and to all the rescuers,i salute you.really respect what they all sacrificed.


'i am so thirsty,my mouth feels like a beach' quite funny.


i bet the whole theatre cried along with the characters in the show.=( its a good insightful movie.should go catch it if you can.


we wanted to go zoo today,but i think end up too many people cant go.haha.so i was reading this book.read until i sleep.haha.not that its boring,its just that i needed to catch up on my sleep.haha.and now here i am,PW!=(its gg to be over soon...


pain is good,pain is my friend,its pain that lets you know you're alive

Friday, October 06, 2006

today was very funny.haha.


for one,exams are finally over!chinese was quite difficult.the compo esp.what 我的网络世界?? didnt do that one.so tough.dont know how to talk about blogging in chinese.hoho.the paper 2 was tough as well.wonder how many marks have i thrown away.just hope i pass,and not be like midyears.=)


then we had a hard time deciding where to go.mabel wanted to go queensway,the rest orchard.so end up we went somerset,then orchard.ate at pastamania again.tried their vongole.not bad.haha.aga and i were happily slurping the water.HAHA.saw eunice.=)her teeth are nice!=)haha.


went to heeren.walking around and the group of us were being irritating.HAHA.comment on everything we see,so auntie!=) then walked down to shawplaza.took such a long time to decide what show to watch!coz veron didnt want to watch on a flat theatre.haha,i dunno,i have never watched on a flat theatre before.so we bought 415 rob-b-hood.


then went to far east.ended up EATING again.fried mars bars.quite interesting,super sweet.made me feel lousy coz i spent money and gained calories.haha.saw cheryl lee and cheryl tan,sarah tan hz!haha.quite interesting.bought accesories.no money,never mind.haha.


after that,mabel,jieling and the rest of us parted.we went to watch movie.haha.was thinking of buying some drinks.decided to save money since we were going to go kino after that.watched rob b hood!!ITS THE NICEST SHOW MAN.although people say there's no plot,its so freaking funny!the shit,the baby doing funny things.SO TOUCHING,SO CUTE.i love the baby!!SO ADORABLE!!AHH.makes me feel like pinching its cheeks.and GU TIAN LE!HOT LIKE DUNNO WHAT.haha.so cute.the movie was very characteristic of jackie chan,the moves,evt.but overall,very nice,very amusing,very entertaining.we laughed the loudest,maluated ourselves.but its common,i realised.i dont mind watching it again.to see louis koo!haha.but the ending was very very typical.btw,chen long is the executive producer!!HAHA.and the baby's name is matthew.hohoho.


talked about the movie,and walked to taka.only then i realised i forgot the wistma underpass is closed.hoho.walked outside,then realised the sky was so horrible.the air quality was so bad.visibility so bad,smelt like burning.oh mans.really cant imagine the people with asthma,much less the old people.how mans.so bad today,was about 90 plus,the psi.hope rain comes soon.


went to kino.haha.so happy so many books,so many pens.i really want to own a bookshop!!haha.so funny,we started reading random books.like guiness book of records,and some singapore book.quite cool.and guess what!!we saw charles darwin,origin of species.and i was so tempted to read it!haha,read the last part,yes.its in our notes.haha.interesting.and as usual,i never fail to buy pens.haha.quite nice to write.but now i realised the two greens i bought are almost the same shade.


left to meet my parents.felt quite bad coz they were waiting quite long.the food was cold by the time i reached.then we went to the library.YAYS!8 books to read this weekend.so happy=)


haha,quite sad.mon must sort of hand in wr alr.so we gotta chiong on sun.and chem spa is on thurs.haha.oh wells.tues have open house facilitators meeting.i'm really still thinking,how mans.


on my way home,i just felt quite sad.the state of world affairs,the haze,people getting food posioning cannot take psle,everything.i dunno,felt like i need to do my part as a citizen.haha.how can i help?


seriously hope rain comes soon then the haze can clear.accumulation of soot in our lungs.not good.cant imagine the ships and planes.quite poor thing.the smoke smell is everywhere.in my house even!haiyos.not a very memorable moon-cake festival.


lets hope tml will be better.but i will feel better coz nanny is coming over!!=)and i wanna go shoe shopping.i want flats!hohos.

so many things to do,so little time.will i ever have a break?but i guess all of us have it the same.so all is fair.shant keep complaining.

i miss ge dou tian wang already!next mon start gong.heard its nice.yupps.going crazy singing fang shou yi bo.very challenging,you should try.haha.k i need sleep badly.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

oh mans!i realised tml is the last day of promos.haha.realisation has kicked in.oh wells.today lee lao shi went through with us chinese.tml should be ok.


chem wasnt tough,wasnt easy either.didnt study in detail enough.just praying and hoping.


not really expecting much this promos,i know how much i put in,how much i will gain.

一份耕耘，一份收获

放手一搏

演唱:5566 词:柯呈雄 曲:吕绍淳/刘勇志


轰隆隆的战雷声响起

虎视眈眈的我腹背受敌

疯狂的人们赌着我这贱命

我这贱命却始终是谜

嘻笑怒骂我听天由人

尔虞我诈还要低声下气

忍气吞声就等那致命一击

势如破竹的我决不放弃

看着你的锐利眼神

少了喝采人最孤独

针锋相对我需要祝福

听着命运开始倒数

下一秒就决定胜负

旗鼓相当我不能认输

天崩地裂我不在乎

风声雨声谁最大声

爱恨情仇排山倒海

誓言 放手一搏

就算最后遍体是伤

咬紧牙关也要去闯

偷天换日万丈光芒

天地无敌唯我独尊

肾上腺素飙起了所有勇气

牛鬼蛇神看到了都要畏惧

所有的人都等着看这好戏

扭转乾坤的人才真正会赢

没人在乎我的点点滴滴

不择手段的你只为自己

若有本事就拿出真正本领

看这决斗谁是最后胜利

看着你的锐利眼神

少了喝采人最孤独

针锋相对我需要祝福

听着命运开始倒数

下一秒就决定胜负

旗鼓相当我不能认输

天崩地裂我不在乎

风声雨声谁最大声

爱恨情仇排山倒海

誓言 放手一搏

就算最后遍体是伤

咬紧牙关也要去闯

偷天换日万丈光芒

天地无敌唯我独尊


for now,i'm crazy over this show.its madness.this song inspires me,and makes me smile!I LOVE MR FIGHTING!too bad today last episode.NANNY ARE YOU READING THIS.i bet you will laugh until stomach pain!sighs.so fairy tale the show.but i still like!!=)ahhs.

there are so many things i wanna tell you,to confide in you like i used to.but i know that its not possible now.i dunno,somehow i feel helpless.i need an outlet,to express how i feel inside.i wish i could channel all the thoughts inside to something productive.wishing vs reality.hurhur.


tomorrow,so near yet so far.i dont know how i would react.if only things were different now.my decision,its consequences.


after tomorrow,there'll still be one more chance.that 3 hours,that mere 3 hours.hah,you'll get a glimpse.but to me,i know that there's no glimmer of hope.because it's all in the past.sighs.i really wanna tell you everything,but i know i cant.its no longer the same.


what to do?


haha,you may say i think too much.do i?but if i dont think,i'll just be living in denial.wouldn't i?

even if i sound glum,i dont feel glum.i just need an answer for my questions.talking about them makes me feel somewhat better.yupp.dont worry abt me k.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

anw,tracyfoo,i;m not sure if i know you.haha.maybe you got the wrong person?coz i wasnt at esplanade a few weeks ago.the last time i went was in august..haha.

econs,econs,econs.was not too easy,but i guess its ok,considering i didnt really study last night.ahh.exams are going to be over in 3 days time.whoohoo.but first,i have to pass the gate for maths,chem and chinese.


i shouldnt have eaten that,i know i'm going to get sick.but please dont let it be today.i must sit for my maths exam!=

oh wells.have to pia my chem today.so dead.no time tml.shouldnt have fallen asleep.



regrets,life is full of them.living without regrets,i'm trying,trying so hard.i know its easy to say hey,you made mistakes in your life,which made you who you are today.and precisely for that purpose,i kinda regret who i am today.all the while i thought i was fine,but in retrospect,i realised i am a complete loser through and through.i admit i sound glum,but its facing facts.i am really a loser.its all retribution,the way i treated you,although you treasured and cherished me.i treated you like trash.so its all a vicious cycle.my karma,my retribution.now you're happy,i'm happy for you.but i see you,i feel kinda miserable somehow.but i acknowledge,its my own fault.haha.its ok.as long as you're happy=)


too many things,too much to think about.i know i shouldnt,mustnt.but reflection is the only way for me to improve.i will try my best not to make the same mistakes twice,coz only a fool does that.and i will try to learn from my mistakes,and i will make myself not regret the decisions i make.


i regret the many things i did,including eating that egg today.ming ming zhi dao what harm it will do to me,why did i even take the risk?now its too late.if i get an allergy,its all my fault.too late for regrets.

if i acted in a different way,would we still talk?would we still be in contact.the 4 years,poof.maybe its coz everyone is busy,busy with exams.but i always believed it only takes 30 s to send a message.i dont know,but it serves as evidence that in my life,nothing lasts.NOTHING is absoulte,nothing is forever.friends forever?nahh,dont believe it anymore.i will love you forever?nahh,dont believe in that either anymore.life is not forever,so how can love be forever.i only believe in 2 of that kind,god and my parents.maybe sibling love.but otherwise,man is selfish.man doesnt love forever.unless someone proves me wrong.pessimism?nahh,its just reality.i will wake myself up from my dreamland,because reality is far from what i dream it to be.shall not live in denial anymore.


today i'm choosing not to attend tuition,because i need to choing my chem.will i regret it?


whatever it is,i just pray for the best.as long as you all are happy,i'll be happy for you.try to be contented with what i have.


exams are going to be over.haiyo,more work to do after that.AHH.

Monday, October 02, 2006

i'm gg crazy about mr fighting.so nice!!=)) haha.whoos.


my new favourite~wont give up

simply worn out today after 6 hours of exams.=/ feel so sleepy,how to manage for tml?ahha=( ohwells.today was alright.bacteria was =\yes,all over the paper.the structure of viruses was so tricky.didnt have enough practice coz tys dont have.guess it is new in the syllabus?but haiya.nvm,hope the rest can pull my grades up.i need about 60 to get a decent pass coz i failed quite badly in the midyears.haha.hope lor.gp,compo,so many qns were adapted from past year qns,i did something not very easy,not very hard.i think.compre,not difficult to understand but not easy to answer.sighs.how to paraphrase shrine?haiyos.


overall,i think its ok.but i'm just too tired to do anything.AHH.jiayou for tml people.



competition brings out the worst in man.comment.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1541234-1,00.html read this.the differences between man and monkey.SUPER COOL.and BIO-ISH!cool mans.

hoho.i'm a free rider once again.haha.oh wells.sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday!!one two three four five six!six more days.haha.


this is the first time i am not looking forward to after an exam.because this time,there'll be more work to do.pw and chinese.URGH.pw pw everyday.sing along man.


but at least,my group mates are nice.haha.we gossip about people like,i cant attach myself to your wr.haha.so mean.HAHA.oh wells.i'm bored,i should be studying.but free riders slack.HAHA.at least for me

tml's gp and bio!=( so unprepared for gp.dunno what to do as well.shall revise the skills later.bio,its the sub i started studying the earliest.but whether i can answer the questions,its hard to say.hope alot of mcq come out from tys.HAHA.=) oh wells.just do my best.should be ok.


econs!AHH.i'm still unfamiliar with market structures and market failure.OH MANS.and yuanli was talking about wage differentials.read through only.haiyo.but i think will come out on market struct,failure and govt intervention.oh wells.


oh,and the tys-es are crappy.so many wrong answers,esp bio!and the gp essays quite crappy also.hmms.havent had time to read fitrah's econs BIBLE.haha.shall see.


you people dont need to come on tues!and some dont need to come on fri.=( good for you all lah.=)haha.


ok.i must psycho myself i can do it,coz i put in alot more effort for promos,then any other exam.haha.i think.


but i'm mentally prepared.i'm aware that THIS much of effort can only produce this much of results.nvm.just try our best ba.what to do?cannot sit down and cry.


MUST PASS GP.DONT NAQ.i will get promoted.and i will not get anymore S(es) i will not fail anything.HAHA.please just let me get all Ds.i dont wanna get anything lower than 50!!AHH.okok.all will be fine.


i've realised that if i read something before i sleep,or think about smt before i sleep,i will def dream about it.unconciously,thinking thinking.weird,seemingly real.


does idealism lead to disillusionment,and realism to results?

replies`


siewting:HELLOS!after this week,lets go out!!=)haha.thanks,you take care too!love!


san:thanks so much for your encouragement all this while=) hope you've been doing well too!!LOVE!i hope to bring you good news!HAHA.yepp.i'll do my best!WHOO.inculcate that mugger spirit.


yusin:HEY=) haha. hyun bin's birthday just passed.25th sept.haha.yepp.popular,i keep seeing them show the show.=)haha.the piggy!!i dare not buy it,it will just sit in my house and rot.then it will start talking to me too!=)HAHA.=)anw,jiayou for your end years!


sher:HAHA.its both the work of god and you lah.haha.my prep is ok i guess.promos start tml!AHH.haha.thanks anw!=)


xiaomeii:HAHA.the piggy is so funny.anw,heard you're sick.must take care k!=( jiayou for your end years.you can do it!!=))love!we must go out during nov holidays!after 14 around there coz my school breaks around there.


eeling: HEY GIRL!=)haha.tml's bio!!AHH.haha.anw,jiayou for your papers too!=))s20 should have a gathering soon.yay!